Ash and Dusty discuss how ADHD traits (hyperfocus, justice sensitivity, rejection sensitivity, and perfectionism) shape the way people approach allyship. Ash opens with a vivid story about feeling unintentionally objectified at a conference after coming out as transgender, illustrating how well-meaning curiosity and requests for education can put emotional labor on the person with a marginalized identity. Dusty describes common ADHD patterns—the over-eager ally who wants to demonstrate knowledge, the panic after a misstep, and the tendency to seek drama online—and explains how those patterns can derail genuine support. Both emphasize that intention alone isn’t enough: allies must match intent with respectful action.

They offer practical guidance for managing capacity and making meaningful choices: focus on a few causes you can sustain, donate or volunteer locally, and pick moments where conversation can lead to real change instead of getting into futile online fights. Learn independently rather than relying on marginalized people to educate you; when interacting, meet people as people first and let them set the boundaries for how much their identity becomes the topic. Small, thoughtful actions (checking safety, providing accessible spaces, following diverse voices) often create outsized positive effects and are more valuable than performative gestures.

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