Social Media Child Exploitation with Sarah Adams of Mom Uncharted
Update: 2025-01-29
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Protecting Children's Privacy Online: A Conversation with Sarah Adams
In this episode of The Secure Family Podcast, host Andy Murphy interviews Sarah Adams, also known as Mom Uncharted, a child protection advocate from Canada. They discuss the concept of 'sharenting,' where parents overshare their children's lives on social media, and the potential risks involved including privacy invasion and child exploitation.
Sarah shares her experiences and offers advice on setting boundaries to ensure children's privacy online. They also address the rise of kid influencers and the ethical considerations of turning children into content creators. Sarah emphasizes the importance of digital privacy and provides practical steps parents can take to protect their children's digital footprint. The episode concludes with a hopeful outlook for the future and the importance of educating more parents on these crucial topics.
For more from Sarah Adams: https://www.momuncharted.com/
Kids Are Not Content: https://www.kidsarenotcontent.com/
Take control of your data with DeleteMe. Because they sponsor the podcast you can get 20% off a privacy plan from DeleteMe with promo code: DAD.
Protect Your Family from Sex Offenders: https://www.thesecuredad.com/offender
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00:00 Welcome to The Secure Family Podcast
02:31 Introducing Sarah Adams: Advocate for Child Safety Online
05:03 The Dangers of Sharenting and Child Exploitation
10:40 The Impact of Kidfluencers on Society
19:44 Real-Life Consequences of Child Exploitation
29:05 Setting Boundaries for Children's Privacy
36:58 Looking Ahead: Optimism for 2025
39:29 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
The information, opinions, and recommendations presented in this Podcast are for general information only and any reliance on the information provided in this Podcast is done at your own risk. The views and opinions expressed by guests are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of The Secure Dad, LLC. The Secure Dad® is a registered trademark of The Secure Dad, LLC.
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Transcript
00:00:00
(upbeat music)
00:00:02
- This is the Secure Family Podcast.
00:00:11
Welcome friend, I'm Andy Murphy,
00:00:13
the host and founder of The Secured Add.
00:00:16
This show is about empowering parents
00:00:17
to protect themselves and their family.
00:00:20
I believe that security is the foundation of happiness,
00:00:23
and I want your family to be safe and secure.
00:00:26
The information on this podcast
00:00:28
is for general information purposes only.
00:00:31
My goal is to empower you to make safer decisions
00:00:34
for yourself and your family,
00:00:36
because our safety is our own responsibility.
00:00:39
Today I have a fascinating conversation
00:00:42
with a child protection advocate
00:00:44
about how parents are exploiting their own children
00:00:48
on social media.
00:00:50
All of that and more coming up on the Secure Family Podcast.
00:00:57
As we start 2025, it's time to make a commitment,
00:01:01
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00:01:04
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00:02:03
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00:02:06
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00:02:08
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00:02:11
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00:02:14
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00:02:18
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00:02:22
Discover how to empower your family without missing a beat.
00:02:26
Get ready to level up your parenting game.
00:02:29
Coming soon.
00:02:30
My guest today is Sarah Adams.
00:02:34
You may know Sarah as mom uncharted
00:02:36
and she's a Canadian online safety advocate dedicated
00:02:39
to exploring parental public over sharing,
00:02:42
child exploitation, and minor safety on social media.
00:02:46
She's also built a website, kids are not content,
00:02:49
that is dedicated to shedding light on the complexities
00:02:52
of sharenting and offers reliable sources and support
00:02:56
and navigating these very complex topics.
00:02:59
Through her social media presence,
00:03:01
Sarah advocates for a cultural shift
00:03:04
that respects and protects children's digital footprints.
00:03:08
But most importantly, she's a mom.
00:03:10
Here's my conversation with Sarah Adams.
00:03:13
(upbeat music)
00:03:16
(upbeat music)
00:03:19
- So welcome Sarah.
00:03:23
Thank you so much for being here today and talking to us.
00:03:26
Tell us a little bit about yourself and your passion.
00:03:29
- Yeah, so my name is Sarah Adams.
00:03:32
I'm better known on social media as mom uncharted.
00:03:35
And I discuss the parental state of sharenting online
00:03:39
and child exploitation and just keeping kids safe.
00:03:43
And it all stemmed from basically what I was seeing online
00:03:47
a few years ago.
00:03:48
Like many people, especially during the pandemic,
00:03:52
we all went online more.
00:03:54
And as I spent more time there,
00:03:57
I just started to feel very uncomfortable
00:04:00
with the amount of images and information people
00:04:03
were sharing about their children.
00:04:05
I felt that as a stranger,
00:04:08
I shouldn't have this intimate insight
00:04:11
into these children's vibes.
00:04:13
And it started to make me feel very uncomfortable.
00:04:16
And as I sat on it for weeks and months
00:04:20
and talked to friends and family about it,
00:04:22
they all seemed to think that,
00:04:24
"You know what, you're onto something."
00:04:26
And like I've never thought about it like that.
00:04:28
And I wonder if other people think about it like that.
00:04:30
And you know, looking for a creative outlet
00:04:33
in the midst of the pandemic with a newborn,
00:04:35
I downloaded TikTok randomly
00:04:38
and just started playing around
00:04:41
and incorporating these topics.
00:04:43
And I got a lot of feedback.
00:04:45
Mainly negative, that bank.
00:04:47
But it's what I wanted to talk about.
00:04:50
So I kept going and yeah, it turned into,
00:04:53
I guess many would call advocacy work
00:04:57
for children in the right to privacy and safety online.
00:05:00
- Right, and I appreciate all of that.
00:05:03
So, you know, we talk, you said, "Sharenting,"
00:05:06
which I'm really glad that she used that term.
00:05:08
So, kind of explained to us like what that is and why,
00:05:13
and just at the sharing team level,
00:05:15
why that can be kind of detrimental to our kids.
00:05:18
- Yeah, so, "Sharenting" is a blend of sharing and parenting.
00:05:23
And it's referred to on what we're doing in the digital world,
00:05:26
how we are sharing our children on the social media platforms
00:05:30
and/or blogging and things like that.
00:05:34
And just how we discuss our children online.
00:05:38
And anyone can do it, anyone can participate in it, right?
00:05:42
It's not just the family vloggers and the influencers
00:05:46
and the moms, the wincers that we often see and idolize
00:05:48
on social media.
00:05:50
Sometimes it's, you know, your best friend
00:05:52
or your sister-in-law, we can all partake
00:05:57
in oversharing our children online.
00:05:59
And that can be the very concerning
00:06:02
for, you know, their right to privacy,
00:06:05
their right to inform consent, their digital safety.
00:06:09
And there's a lot of parents need to consider
00:06:13
before they share a line.
00:06:16
And I would highly suggest not participating in "Sharenting"
00:06:20
and prioritizing the privacy of your kids.
00:06:23
- Yeah, absolutely.
00:06:24
I feel like I'm older than the internet.
00:06:27
And so like, I was like the first to get the my space
00:06:31
and then the Facebook and all these things that would come in.
00:06:35
So I feel like we, there's just been this massive learning
00:06:38
curve that the first generation of, you know,
00:06:42
social media users have come up with when,
00:06:45
and now we're seeing effects of things
00:06:48
that we just never really ever thought about before.
00:06:50
I know I didn't.
00:06:51
- 100% like these conversations in regards
00:06:55
to, you know, "Sharenting and Child Exploitation,"
00:06:57
like they didn't really start cropping up
00:06:59
until like recently.
00:07:00
- Like occasionally, you can look back
00:07:02
and find, you know, a New York Times article
00:07:04
and like the mid 2010s about it.
00:07:06
But overall, these conversations are like relatively new.
00:07:11
And I also, you know, the age of the internet,
00:07:14
you know, I didn't have Facebook until, you know,
00:07:17
I was 21 in college.
00:07:19
And there's a part of me that wishes that for my children
00:07:24
that they can be much older before they start their journey
00:07:28
online and establishing their digital footprint
00:07:32
because even at the age of 21,
00:07:35
while I'm technically an adult,
00:07:36
I'm sure if I swore back to Facebook,
00:07:38
there's things that like I shouldn't have been saying
00:07:41
or sharing and I wouldn't be proud of right now.
00:07:45
And now do you think that, you know, parents are creating
00:07:48
a digital footprint for their children
00:07:50
that they have no say in.
00:07:52
They're going to inherit this without the ability
00:07:55
to, you know, remove it from the internet.
00:07:58
And then they're starting their digital footprint
00:08:00
at a very young age, too, which is really concerning
00:08:04
when, you know, your brain's not developed until you're 25.
00:08:06
And you could be saying really inappropriate things
00:08:10
or sharing inappropriate photos online
00:08:13
and your creepy, best end years or your teens.
00:08:16
It's a lot.
00:08:17
It's a lot for parents to navigate and I recognize that.
00:08:21
- Yeah, yeah, it really does.
00:08:23
So help us, because I think a lot of us,
00:08:25
you know, as parents, we do share about our kids,
00:08:27
like, you know, funny stuff and things like that.
00:08:29
But when does sharing team cross the line
00:08:33
into child exploitation?
00:08:36
- That's a great question.
00:08:37
For me, I always say it crosses the line
00:08:41
that when your kids become your content,
00:08:44
when your kids are no longer just occasionally featured
00:08:49
in your content that your account is primarily
00:08:53
and sometimes solely based around your children
00:08:57
and on top of that, when you start
00:08:59
to monetize your content.
00:09:01
That for me would be child exploitation.
00:09:04
- Right, yeah, that's, and that's one of those things
00:09:08
that I don't think I ever would have thought about,
00:09:10
you know, having the secure dad
00:09:11
and now transitioning to the secure family podcast.
00:09:14
The only thing that I really ever share about my son
00:09:16
is like, when he absolutely burns me in a conversation,
00:09:20
like he says something hilarious and then it's just text.
00:09:22
I don't post pictures of him because like,
00:09:25
I realize you and I grew up in this age
00:09:28
where we got to say who we were when we got to college,
00:09:31
when we got our first job and him already having
00:09:34
a digital footprint that they really didn't have a control
00:09:36
over really just does not seem fair.
00:09:39
- No, it doesn't seem fair to me.
00:09:42
And I don't reach, you know, for me,
00:09:46
I recognize there's some nuance
00:09:48
and I recognize that it's not black of light.
00:09:50
And therefore, that's why I've always said,
00:09:52
I'm not trying to rid children of the internet.
00:09:55
I just want parrots to call back,
00:09:58
whole way back can be really mindful with what they share.
00:10:03
Sharing a birthday pet or one photo from family vacation
00:10:08
is extremely different than, you know,
00:10:11
somewhat some influencers of family vloggers
00:10:13
are doing in regard to, you know,
00:10:15
vlogging a whole vacation all day every day
00:10:18
and monetizing it and pictures of this and that
00:10:21
and all the intimate stories and the private detail
00:10:24
and it just feels like such an invasion
00:10:28
of a human's right to privacy and autonomy,
00:10:34
especially when we know that what we put out
00:10:36
in this digital world, it matters.
00:10:38
It matters. - Yes, absolutely.
00:10:41
Yes, so now like, 'cause we have that and it's out there.
00:10:44
And so we have had this rise of what we're calling
00:10:47
kid-fluencers. - Yes.
00:10:49
- And so, you know, how does this child exploitation
00:10:54
on the internet, on social media,
00:10:57
influence how people think about their own lives
00:11:01
and childhood just like in general?
00:11:03
How has this changed the game?
00:11:05
Not just for the family that's involved
00:11:07
but for the families of watch.
00:11:09
- Yeah, so I think there's, you know,
00:11:11
some families have like, commodified their children's
00:11:16
childquad, right? They're monetizing off the human existence
00:11:20
of their children and they are removing the inherent
00:11:25
right to privacy and therefore sharing with the public
00:11:29
some really intimate details about their life.
00:11:31
Like the things I have seen, the stories I have been told,
00:11:34
the things I get tagged in, is extremely concerning.
00:11:39
And I also think that it is sharing a very like material
00:11:44
like materialistic approach to parenthood.
00:11:49
A lot of it is about like all the things and all the stuff
00:11:54
that these people have and what they get, right?
00:11:57
And then the viewers who are often children
00:12:01
believe this is the case, right?
00:12:04
And also a lot of these family bloggers
00:12:07
create these like fictitious storylines, right?
00:12:10
There's lots of, you know, like,
00:12:11
someone's breaking into my house and we have a stalker
00:12:15
and, you know, we were, you know, scared of this tornado,
00:12:19
but the tornado was, you know, like a hundred miles away
00:12:23
and they were never impacted or anything like that, right?
00:12:25
But like the storylines they create that their young audience
00:12:29
believes to be true, right?
00:12:30
Like, you know, they don't know what is fat
00:12:33
and fiction with these people.
00:12:35
And so there's a lot of concerning things
00:12:38
that these people are doing, but it's also concerning
00:12:41
that especially young audiences
00:12:44
are looking at these families, thinking this is like normal
00:12:48
in something to like, idolize.
00:12:50
- Right, yeah, and that doesn't set a great expectation
00:12:54
for one, how to interact in society now,
00:12:57
but when they become the age of raising kids,
00:13:00
like what does that look like for them?
00:13:01
Because they've seen this, this skewed.
00:13:04
If like, again, for us, like we watch sitcoms
00:13:07
that were scripted and we knew that they weren't real,
00:13:09
but like these are real looking people in real houses
00:13:13
going through like real stuff.
00:13:15
Like how, how is that going to affect
00:13:18
this next generation do you think
00:13:21
and how they deal with relationships and adulthood
00:13:25
and growing up?
00:13:26
- Oh, that's a loaded question, right?
00:13:29
Because I think another problem
00:13:32
with these types of family blogs is also like
00:13:35
the parent-child relationship is no longer strictly
00:13:38
parent-child relationship, right?
00:13:40
Like the parents have turned into like producers
00:13:44
and business managers.
00:13:46
And now the child's actual existent,
00:13:49
like how much of that is like real and authentic
00:13:52
versus performative versus scripted,
00:13:56
some might say, right?
00:13:59
And, you know, I also think about like
00:14:02
the element of technofarens and this,
00:14:05
you know, digital device between the parent
00:14:08
and the child and how that's going to affect them, right?
00:14:12
These people must be spending, you know,
00:14:15
you do a podcast, you're on social media,
00:14:17
you know how much time goes into this, right?
00:14:20
Now imagine filming your family
00:14:22
and creating two to three blogs a week
00:14:25
plus insta stories on social media and things like that, right?
00:14:29
I think that is going to have a very large impact
00:14:33
on these children growing up
00:14:35
because they have witness so much technofarens in their life
00:14:39
and maybe that is also harming their relationship
00:14:42
with their parents or understanding how to parent
00:14:45
because they're so involved with these devices.
00:14:50
- Right, right.
00:14:51
And, you know, obviously having access to devices leads
00:14:54
to more of this stuff and the algorithms
00:14:57
build more of a profile on our kids
00:15:00
and what, you know, content that they're going to be served.
00:15:03
But, you know, going back to talking about
00:15:04
how the parents are producers now
00:15:06
and like the kids, I guess, are just their employees, you know?
00:15:10
And that seems like just a, like what does the world like
00:15:14
for them when they do put the phone down?
00:15:17
What's it like when the cameras aren't on?
00:15:19
And that's troubling to me for them,
00:15:22
but also again, troubling for me for being on the outside
00:15:25
of it, watching these folks kind of exploit themselves.
00:15:30
- Yeah, well, it makes me think oftentimes,
00:15:32
like 'cause some of these children are literally born into this.
00:15:36
Like their birth is on YouTube, like they're born into this.
00:15:40
So they don't know like without a camera pointed at them.
00:15:44
They don't know life without these devices facing them
00:15:49
and this barrier always being between them
00:15:52
and their parent, right?
00:15:53
So are they even growing up and learning
00:15:57
how to be like autonomous individuals
00:16:01
or are they learning how to be little performers?
00:16:05
Because they know that if like the parent has the camera out,
00:16:08
there is like an expectation that something may be funny
00:16:11
has to be said or like emotions have to be shared.
00:16:15
And are they giving the parents and, you know,
00:16:18
subsequently the viewers, but they want to see
00:16:21
even though that's not authentically who they are
00:16:24
or what they're feeling in that moment
00:16:27
because they're being taught that every moment of their life
00:16:30
is content and possibly a performance.
00:16:34
- Right.
00:16:35
I remember watching, I don't remember the kid's name,
00:16:38
but he was the kid that always opened toys and things like that.
00:16:42
- Rhymes were all, yeah.
00:16:44
And I remember like my son, we stumbled onto that,
00:16:47
I think, you know, during the pandemic.
00:16:49
I just remember watching it and like, you know,
00:16:51
like the reward system that the brain has set up
00:16:55
and those chemicals that happen.
00:16:56
Like here's this kid, he's just opening new stuff
00:16:58
over and over and over again for years.
00:17:02
Like how does that like physically like take a toll on you?
00:17:05
What is, what brings you joy now
00:17:08
after seeing all that sort of stuff?
00:17:10
That's like the physiological changes
00:17:14
they are concerning too.
00:17:16
- I love that you mentioned that.
00:17:18
And I also like, it goes into that happening with Ryan
00:17:22
but also his little audience thinking that this is normal
00:17:26
to get like toys every day or every week and opening them.
00:17:30
And then you can go deeper into it that, you know,
00:17:33
he's opening toys but he's advertising, right?
00:17:36
He's, you know, kids can't separate that.
00:17:39
They don't know that they're being advertised too,
00:17:42
but they are when he's opening, you know,
00:17:44
Lego sets, whether it's a paid ad for him or not,
00:17:48
he's still advertising a product to his young audience
00:17:52
who don't know that they are being marketed.
00:17:55
- Right, there are so many, you know, channels
00:17:58
to explore when we're discussing these topics.
00:18:01
It can be almost overwhelming when you really dive
00:18:04
into it and start thinking about it.
00:18:06
- Right.
00:18:07
I know that, you know, we can look at certain cases
00:18:10
and we realize that parents have crossed a line.
00:18:13
They've done something that they very much shouldn't have.
00:18:15
What, but I'm sure the intent didn't start that way, you know,
00:18:19
like they just wanted to do something fun
00:18:22
and it kind of got out of control.
00:18:24
- Yeah, I would like to think that parents
00:18:27
are sharing these images and videos on social media
00:18:33
in like a malicious fashion, right?
00:18:35
I would like to think that these are parents
00:18:38
who have not done their due diligence in this world.
00:18:42
Like, think about how many books and blogs
00:18:45
and things you read before you became a parent, right?
00:18:47
Or during the baby years or the toddler years
00:18:50
and things like that, you know, there's sleeping,
00:18:52
the napping, the potty training, right?
00:18:54
There's wealth of information that you were trying to absorb.
00:18:58
I think that not enough people are doing,
00:19:02
not enough, soon to be parents are doing that
00:19:05
in regard to the digital world
00:19:07
and how this has changed in the world
00:19:09
in which we are braiding up these children, right?
00:19:13
And therefore it is a lack of information
00:19:17
and education in regard to the topic
00:19:20
versus like any malicious intent in sharing.
00:19:23
Like maybe they just haven't really thought
00:19:26
about the long-term consequences or repercussions, right?
00:19:30
'Cause they haven't really been talked about until recently.
00:19:34
- Right, and that's why I'm glad
00:19:35
that you are talking about this
00:19:37
and you're bringing it to the forefront of,
00:19:40
and hopefully will help people make better decisions
00:19:43
in the future.
00:19:44
And one more thing that I wanna talk about
00:19:45
before we start kind of sharing what we can do
00:19:48
to kind of help prevent this stuff.
00:19:50
But, you know, we take a look at,
00:19:52
let's just say there's a kid influencer who, you know,
00:19:55
all he did was, you know, look at Matchbox cars
00:19:57
and play with that as an example.
00:19:59
Well, kids will watch these videos for years and years
00:20:02
and years and they'll think that they have
00:20:04
some sort of a relationship with the kid
00:20:08
who's on the other side of the camera
00:20:09
who they've never met.
00:20:10
They may have even been in the same state before.
00:20:13
But I mean, I think when you start to look at how kids
00:20:17
create and form relationships,
00:20:19
having a relationship through YouTube
00:20:22
is not good for anybody.
00:20:24
- Well, it's a parasocial relationship, right?
00:20:27
It's a one-sided relationship that the viewer
00:20:31
perceives they have with the creator.
00:20:34
And I have actually seen it so much in regard to adults
00:20:39
and children, especially on the TikTok app
00:20:44
where adults are referring to other people's
00:20:47
children with whom they have no relationship
00:20:50
to as their aunties and their cousins.
00:20:54
And, you know, I need to see what I'll call my babies
00:20:59
today and things.
00:21:00
There have been some very bizarre situations
00:21:03
in which parasocial relationships have formed
00:21:07
and that's very concerning.
00:21:09
And it also makes me think about the children,
00:21:11
as you mentioned, like the kid influencers
00:21:12
growing up in the public eye.
00:21:14
And the kids potentially who are watching them
00:21:18
developing these relationships and or the adults,
00:21:22
but as they grow up, will their viewer feel
00:21:26
like they are entitled to more from this individual?
00:21:30
Because they were put online by their parents or whatnot.
00:21:34
Or there's a lot of young girl influencers,
00:21:37
kid influencers who are sadly followed
00:21:39
by a large adult male population.
00:21:42
When they get their own social media,
00:21:45
will they be in inundated by creeds?
00:21:49
Like messages about, you know, like I watched you grow up
00:21:52
and I like these, right?
00:21:54
It just, again, it feels like it snowballs
00:21:57
and we don't exactly know what's going to happen.
00:22:00
But for me, it's really concerning to think
00:22:02
that strangers would feel like they had access,
00:22:06
be entitled to access or have intimate information
00:22:11
about light children as they grow up.
00:22:14
- Yeah, that's just got red flags all over it,
00:22:16
formally, when you say it like that.
00:22:19
You actually shared in a real, not that long ago,
00:22:22
that there are parents out there
00:22:24
who will actually offer like a subscription
00:22:28
through like Instagram or something
00:22:29
that people can actually buy content,
00:22:31
like behind the scenes content about their kids.
00:22:34
- Yeah.
00:22:35
- What are they, what are they sharing?
00:22:36
- What is that?
00:22:37
- What is that?
00:22:39
- So I think I discovered this in 2022
00:22:44
that there was a group of children,
00:22:48
young girls who are being exploited by their parents online,
00:22:51
mainly in like the chair, Dan,
00:22:53
like wanna be actress world.
00:22:55
And I first saw because I found a bunch of photos
00:22:59
via a private website that parents were selling,
00:23:02
like photo packs of their little girls
00:23:05
in dancewear and bathing suits
00:23:07
that people could purchase, which was red flags, to me.
00:23:11
And then the more I dove into it,
00:23:13
I realized that parents were doing this on Instagram,
00:23:18
that there is a subscription button
00:23:20
that was available in many of these accounts.
00:23:24
And it was allowing individuals to subscribe to more content,
00:23:29
whether that be videos, images, chats, little girls.
00:23:34
And I feel very fortunate that many publications
00:23:37
have picked us up for Corners Australia
00:23:40
didn't expose a on it in New York Times.
00:23:42
This is a great job covering it.
00:23:44
But yes, parents are selling exclusive access
00:23:49
to their children via subscription-based platforms,
00:23:54
sometimes on meta-platforms.
00:23:57
But yeah, if you haven't looked at the New York Times pieces
00:24:01
in regard to those, they've done an excellent job
00:24:04
in covering the topics from various sides
00:24:07
and points of views.
00:24:08
And I just really commend them for doing that.
00:24:12
'Cause I just-- - That's good.
00:24:14
- I wasn't aware, and when I started talking about it,
00:24:16
people were just shocked.
00:24:18
It's insane to think we live in a society
00:24:21
where parents who are supposed to protect their children
00:24:25
are selling photos and videos of them,
00:24:29
often times, and very limited clothing,
00:24:32
to strangers online.
00:24:36
It, I don't know how we got here.
00:24:38
- I agree.
00:24:39
I don't know how we got here.
00:24:41
- I don't know how we got here.
00:24:42
- I mean, because this, parents exploiting their children
00:24:46
has happened on some very, very small level
00:24:48
in our society for a long time.
00:24:50
- Yeah.
00:24:51
- But to see it at the forefront like this
00:24:54
is, it's jaw-dropping.
00:24:57
I don't get it.
00:24:57
I don't understand why anybody would
00:25:00
think that this is remotely a good idea.
00:25:03
- Yeah, exactly, exactly.
00:25:05
And oftentimes when I talk about child exploitation
00:25:08
as it relates to social media and regard to like,
00:25:10
on back to family vloggers and mumfluensers
00:25:14
and things like that, people often say like,
00:25:16
well, what's the difference between, you know,
00:25:19
that and child actors?
00:25:21
Like, you want to ban kids from the entertainment industry
00:25:24
and things like that?
00:25:25
And I don't think enough people know
00:25:27
that it wasn't until last year in America
00:25:31
that the first law wasn't acted in Illinois
00:25:35
to protect the income that these children are making.
00:25:39
However, even though it is a great first step
00:25:43
in protecting the income these children are generating,
00:25:47
generating, there's no protections for their privacy, right?
00:25:51
There's no right to be forgotten when they're 18
00:25:54
and everything can be removed and things like that.
00:25:56
So in my opinion, we're moving in the right direction.
00:26:00
These laws are great ones being enacted in California
00:26:03
this year, Minnesota, Minnesota is actually doing more.
00:26:08
But it's still not enough to protect their digital footprint
00:26:14
and their right to privacy in my personal opinion.
00:26:18
- Yeah, I think this is gonna be one of those situations
00:26:20
where something really bad has to happen
00:26:23
where we get worldwide some huge story
00:26:26
and that there's gonna be the thing that wakes people up.
00:26:29
And I'm glad that we're moving in the right direction.
00:26:31
But I think it's gonna take something really, really bad
00:26:34
to really wake folks up to what's going on.
00:26:37
- Well, I think if you're looking for two bad stories
00:26:41
just off the top of my head, I could name more,
00:26:43
but I'll just start with the two popular ones.
00:26:45
Look into Ruby Frankie, the eight passengers saga,
00:26:50
her daughter Sherry Frankie just wrote a book
00:26:54
about her experience, that was the child of a family blogger.
00:26:59
It's called The House of My Mother
00:27:02
and that was very eye-opening.
00:27:05
And she's essentially the first child
00:27:09
to speak out against the practice and share her experience.
00:27:13
So if anyone's interested, I suggest they look into that story
00:27:16
and her mother has been accused, no, not accused.
00:27:22
She has been convicted of child abuse in the state in late 2023.
00:27:27
And just today, just this morning I received an article
00:27:32
there was accusations from an influencer mom in Australia
00:27:37
that she was drugging her infant daughter
00:27:41
to make her sicker to inlet donations via GoFundMe
00:27:50
and also increase her social media presence.
00:27:53
And she was just arrested this morning in Australia.
00:27:58
So it looks like she is guilty of literally making
00:28:02
her infant daughter sick for money in social media cloud.
00:28:07
It's extremely disturbing.
00:28:10
So some of these stories are already happening.
00:28:13
- Yeah, wow, I know.
00:28:15
- Wow, that is.
00:28:18
Hard to imagine that a mother is so addicted
00:28:23
to online popularity that they would poison their own child
00:28:28
to gain social media influence,
00:28:33
cloud, whatever you want to call it
00:28:36
and get donations online.
00:28:39
I just, it's hard to wrap your head around
00:28:42
but all of these stories combine.
00:28:44
Like, it has the lead to a shift, it has the lead to a shift.
00:28:48
At some point, our morals and our ethics have to take hold
00:28:53
and say, and this is the right, this just is the right.
00:28:58
- Yeah, and I agree.
00:29:00
Well, before we completely just fall down the hill
00:29:03
of despair here, what are some things that parents,
00:29:08
where are some boundaries that parents can set up
00:29:11
to protect their kids' privacy?
00:29:14
While still maintaining a social media presence,
00:29:16
what's that balance?
00:29:17
What's a healthy balance look like?
00:29:19
- So I think the best thing parents can do
00:29:22
in this digital world and especially as AIM evolves
00:29:26
is private, private your account.
00:29:30
You know, nothing is private on social media
00:29:33
but you have a better chance of maintaining privacy
00:29:36
if you don't hold a public account.
00:29:39
So make sure you have privacy settings
00:29:43
and when you have privacy settings,
00:29:45
make sure that it is people who you know and trust
00:29:48
who are following you.
00:29:50
'Cause a lot of times people will say to me,
00:29:51
"Well, my account's private, it's fine."
00:29:54
And I'm like, "You have 1500 people following you."
00:29:57
Like, that's not private.
00:29:59
You know, people can still download things
00:30:01
and record things or take that story
00:30:04
and go share it elsewhere.
00:30:05
So privacy is so key in 2025 moving forward
00:30:11
and also just thinking about what you share.
00:30:14
You know, there are some like,
00:30:15
"Absolutely, no, no, it was private or public."
00:30:17
You know, kids make it semi-naked,
00:30:21
tub, haughty training, really vulnerable
00:30:26
or low moments like them like melting down
00:30:29
and having emotional, averse and things like that.
00:30:32
Kids should be able to express those emotions
00:30:34
and know that we're still respecting their privacy
00:30:37
and we're not sharing it with other people.
00:30:41
Ask before you post or share a story is,
00:30:44
I mean, ask before you post or share a story
00:30:50
is there any chance my child will be embarrassed
00:30:52
by this later in life?
00:30:54
If there is any chance, a hint that they will be,
00:30:58
eh, don't share it, don't share it.
00:31:01
And I say to your parents regularly,
00:31:03
save that story, save that video,
00:31:06
share it with them when they're older
00:31:08
and if they wanna share it and go viral, then let them.
00:31:12
But it won't be on you if it goes viral
00:31:16
and ends up in all the wrong places.
00:31:19
So those are a few key things for parents.
00:31:22
- Right, and you make the point of AI,
00:31:25
which I think just brings in a whole new aspect to how,
00:31:30
social media in general is going to work
00:31:32
what we can and cannot believe.
00:31:34
But people can use AI to reimagine what kids
00:31:38
would look like in certain situations
00:31:40
without, you know, we'll just leave it at that.
00:31:43
But like when looking at AI
00:31:47
and specifically how this is helping,
00:31:50
like you're saying, the whole private account,
00:31:52
if it's not out there to be seen, to be manipulated,
00:31:55
you're gonna be ahead of the game.
00:31:56
- Yeah, you're gonna be ahead of the game.
00:31:58
Now, let's not just say I haven't heard some stories
00:32:01
about things that had happened private accounts
00:32:03
'cause it does, personally, I'm still a fan.
00:32:07
I'm like, texting you for clothes, you know?
00:32:11
Sending an email, there are also some secure,
00:32:14
more secure apps that parents can download
00:32:19
and then invite, you know, their immediate family
00:32:21
or friend and those.
00:32:22
And then your images and stuff aren't on social media.
00:32:25
Obviously read the privacy settings and things like that.
00:32:29
But for me, I just text, I just text the photo, you know?
00:32:34
Everyone in my family loves my children
00:32:38
but it doesn't necessarily benefit anyone's life
00:32:41
seeing them every day and every capacity
00:32:43
or things like that.
00:32:46
And one more thing I wanted to share
00:32:49
was do not share personal, identifiable information
00:32:53
about your children.
00:32:54
- Goldy domains. - Goldy domains.
00:32:55
They're bold birthdays, you know, be mindful
00:32:59
of where you're taking pictures.
00:33:00
The men, parents, I see like post their home address
00:33:03
and things like that is where there's kids school
00:33:05
and things like that is crazy.
00:33:08
And people always think about predators, predators,
00:33:11
which they should, but think identity theft,
00:33:14
identity theft, right?
00:33:16
You know, Barclays back in the day a few years ago
00:33:19
suggested that 30% of all identity theft
00:33:24
moving forward will be because parents
00:33:25
shared too much information online.
00:33:28
You know, and can you imagine hitting 18
00:33:31
and having, you know, your credit score already, you know,
00:33:34
wiped and accounts and your name and things like that
00:33:37
just because parents overshared online.
00:33:40
Like it's really concerning and sadly it will happen.
00:33:44
- Right, I advocate that parents actually
00:33:47
freeze their children's credit so that it can't be used
00:33:49
'cause they're not using it anyway to their 18.
00:33:52
- Yeah, but like, I see these birth announcements
00:33:54
and it's this cute, precious little baby
00:33:56
and then there's like the letter board
00:33:58
that gives their full name, their weight, their date of birth.
00:34:01
- I'm very happy.
00:34:02
- Where they were born and it's just like,
00:34:04
I, as a good person, know that you could do horrible things
00:34:07
with this information, but somebody who, yeah,
00:34:11
and you know, they're just excited, they're happy
00:34:12
and that's why I like your whole text chain idea
00:34:15
'cause I suggest to people when they go to like,
00:34:18
on vacation instead of posting in real time
00:34:21
social media, letting people know that you're not at home
00:34:23
to protect your house, you can still share in a text message
00:34:27
with your family and friends that will still be able
00:34:30
to kind of enjoy the trip with you
00:34:32
and you can show all the fun things that you're doing.
00:34:34
So I like that.
00:34:35
If you really feel like you need to share
00:34:37
something about your kids, you know, put in texts,
00:34:39
put it in a certain app that said that way,
00:34:42
it's just not public or doesn't belong to meta
00:34:44
or something like that.
00:34:46
- Yeah, yeah, and I think also the last thing I want to mention
00:34:50
that I'm digging deeper into this year
00:34:53
and we mentioned techno interference is just for all of us
00:34:56
to put our phones down more in front of our kids, you know?
00:34:59
- Yeah.
00:35:00
- You turn the computer off.
00:35:02
I think there is gonna be really big effects down the road
00:35:06
for our children because of our relationship
00:35:10
to, you know, social media in our screens.
00:35:12
So I just implore parents at the beginning of the year
00:35:16
to just be more mindful with your screen time.
00:35:18
So often you have your phone out in front of your kids,
00:35:21
often it's in your hand because they are noticing.
00:35:25
- They are noticing.
00:35:26
- For sure, like my son has a phone, he has a true me phone.
00:35:31
And so, like I noticed like the other night,
00:35:33
he was, we were watching a show and he was also playing a game
00:35:36
that I approved on his phone.
00:35:38
- Yeah.
00:35:39
- And so I'm like, man, you should really be sitting here
00:35:41
watching TV and I realize my own phone is in my own hand
00:35:44
doing the exact same thing and I'm like, crazy.
00:35:47
Okay, so if I want him to put the phone down,
00:35:50
I've also got to put the phone down.
00:35:52
- Yeah, we have to, we have to model behavior, right?
00:35:57
You know, we want to model what we want our kids to do.
00:36:00
So, you know, we have to be mindful.
00:36:02
Like if you're taking your phone in your bedroom
00:36:04
or your bathroom and things like this,
00:36:06
like that's the number one thing I always tell parents,
00:36:09
don't let the phones and the screens go into bedrooms
00:36:12
and bathrooms, right?
00:36:13
That's where all the things happen.
00:36:15
So, we can be better at that.
00:36:17
We're modeling that, you know, we're not doing it,
00:36:20
we're not doing it either.
00:36:22
You can always pull the adult card because, you know,
00:36:24
we are the adults.
00:36:24
Things are a little different.
00:36:25
- Right, right, it's just about modeling and behavior, you know?
00:36:30
Are you picking up your phone while you're driving a car?
00:36:32
Do you want your kid to do that?
00:36:34
You don't.
00:36:35
So, we shouldn't, we shouldn't stop doing all the videos
00:36:38
on the TikTok while driving and things like that
00:36:41
'cause we don't want our children to do that, right?
00:36:43
And we're gonna tell them not to do that.
00:36:45
But sadly, some of us are doing that.
00:36:48
So, just then the last thing would be just all of us
00:36:51
being more mindful of the amount of time
00:36:54
we're spending on our screens in front of our children.
00:36:57
- Absolutely.
00:36:58
So, Sarah, as we wrap up here, we just started 2025, you know,
00:37:02
looking at child exploitation and social media,
00:37:07
what do you think are gonna be the big stories of this year?
00:37:10
Do you feel like something's coming?
00:37:12
Do you have a vibe about how things are going to go?
00:37:15
How are you feeling about this new year?
00:37:17
- I always feel optimistic every year.
00:37:20
I've been talking about these subjects since 2021
00:37:24
and every year I find parents becoming more educated.
00:37:29
You know, I see family bloggers stating
00:37:32
that they're not going to be family blogging anymore.
00:37:36
Influencers not putting their children online.
00:37:38
I remain optimistic that there is a shift in society
00:37:43
in which parents are going to prioritize their children's
00:37:46
right to privacy in form consent and digital safety.
00:37:50
And, you know, a big one is,
00:37:54
it'll be interesting to see what happens with TikTok
00:37:56
in America, right?
00:37:59
You know, that's just days away.
00:38:01
And if it actually does go away,
00:38:04
that's a massive platform that just shut down
00:38:09
a lot of people who work exploiting their children.
00:38:13
And so things are changing, things are changing
00:38:16
and I would like to hope they're changing for the better.
00:38:19
- You know, Sarah, I'm gonna agree with you.
00:38:21
I'm gonna hope that the conversations we're having right now
00:38:24
are gonna help people.
00:38:25
And even though probably the folks that are listening
00:38:27
to us, they're not exploiting their kids online at all,
00:38:29
but hopefully they can educate other people better
00:38:32
in their sphere of influence as to what this is
00:38:34
and what's going on.
00:38:35
So I appreciate our talk that we've had today.
00:38:38
I've learned a lot from you.
00:38:40
Where can people find out more about you in your mission?
00:38:44
- Yeah, I'm on the main social media platform.
00:38:47
So I'm Canadian also.
00:38:49
So I'll be out TikTok.
00:38:50
- Maybe I'll TikTok, I won't.
00:38:52
- I'll can't do that.
00:38:53
- Then you can find me under mom, dot and charted on TikTok,
00:38:57
Instagram, as well as YouTube.
00:39:00
I also have a website called KidsAreNotContent.com
00:39:05
that seeks to inform parents on sharenting
00:39:08
and keeping their kids safe online
00:39:09
and child exploitation and the laws that are cropping up
00:39:12
across the states and internationally.
00:39:15
So you can check that out for more information
00:39:17
on these topics.
00:39:19
- Awesome, thank you so much for your time.
00:39:21
I appreciate you, God bless you
00:39:22
and what you're gonna do this year.
00:39:24
- Thanks for having me and I really appreciate
00:39:26
the conversation.
00:39:27
(upbeat music)
00:39:30
- That's all we have for the Secure Family podcast.
00:39:32
For today, thank you, friend, for listening.
00:39:34
Keep an eye out for my new safety e-book.
00:39:36
I'm very excited about it and I will have more detail soon.
00:39:40
Take back your privacy and personal data
00:39:42
with help from DeletMe.
00:39:44
Get 20% off a privacy plan
00:39:46
when using the code Dad at checkout.
00:39:48
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00:39:51
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00:39:53
If you'd like to know more about the Secure Dad,
00:39:55
visit thesecuredad.com.
00:39:57
There you'll find free downloads, books to buy,
00:40:00
podcast episodes and a whole lot more.
00:40:03
The best way to get information from me
00:40:04
is with my email newsletter
00:40:06
and there's a link for you to sign up in today's show notes.
00:40:09
I'm Andy Murphy and I hope you share Sarah's optimism
00:40:13
that we can help make a difference
00:40:15
and how parenting and childhood is portrayed on social media.
00:40:18
(upbeat music)
00:40:21
(upbeat music)
