BYOLC S1 E15

Now that we’ve grounded ourselves in the truth that self-worth is innate, it's time to explore its shakier sibling—self-esteem. Where does your self-esteem come from... and can you actually take control of it?

In this powerful continuation, Anike and Bretagne dive into the four core elements of self-esteem and share how to shift from external validation to internal power.

• Common self-esteem sources:

  • Achievement (grades, goals)

  • Appearance (image, body)

  • Relationships (roles, status)

  • Financial success (stuff, stability)

• The 4 Pillars of Self-Esteem:

  • Identity – Who you are and what you believe

  • Belonging – Connection to others and your community

  • Competence – Confidence in your skills

  • Purpose – Knowing your impact and direction

“While your self-worth is unconditional, your self-esteem is in motion. And you can steer it.”

• How childhood praise, punishment, and patterns shape your view of self

• Maslow’s Hierarchy: Why self-esteem is critical for motivation and well-being

• Why external validation (likes, praise, image) is fragile—and how to build internal esteem through values and discipline

Be like an artist—express yourself for the sake of creation, not for the applause or the critique.

1. Choose a context where your esteem dips (e.g., comparison scrolling)

2. Ask: Where is my esteem coming from right now?

3. Shift inward: Name a value-based truth (“I am compassionate, I am creative”)

4. Action step: Write down one internal affirmation. Say it daily. Let it anchor you.

Affirmation: “My esteem may shift, but I always return to the truth of who I am.”

Coach yourself: Spot one external trigger and counter it with one internal truth.
Because while self-esteem might fluctuate, you don’t have to leave it up to fate.