Stephen: For This Adoptee, Reunion Led to Surprises

Update: 2024-10-15

Description

Stephen Grochol is a Financial Planner in San Mateo, CA. He and his wife
just celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary and they have two daughters.
He is a post-Baby Scoop and post-Roe v. Wade adoptee. Born in Oakland,
CA in 1974 he is the oldest of three. One brother was adopted and the
youngest was not.

Stephen’s adoptive parents went through a private doctor for this process.
He was relinquished immediately after birth and whisked home to Pacifica
where he grew up. A stroke of luck occurred when his Aunt and
Godmother procured the names of his birth parents during his delivery.
As time went on things within his family unit started to unravel. His younger
brother, also adopted, started suffering mental health issues and was
ultimately diagnosed as schizophrenic and bipolar. The family was
hamstrung by the fact his medical records were sealed by the state of
California. This was the prompt that Stephen needed to start the reunion
process, for real.

His parents were amazingly supportive throughout the entire search for
reunion. This just made things okay. On his 28th birthday, armed with “the
adoption file” he was able to quickly track down his birth father. They have
been in reunion since 2003.

Tracking down his birth mother was a much more difficult task. Two weeks
after he was born the birth parents broke up and she joined a church that
had some “cult-like” qualities. In 2017, Stephen and his birth father used
Ancestry DNA to narrow the search for her. It worked! It’s here where he
met a half-sister on his mother’s side. From there he was able to finally
track down their birth mother on Halloween of all dates.

The reunion with both parents and the siblings has been filled with joy and
happiness. There have been several family reunions where Stephen finally
feels like he’s “wearing the right uniform.” Of course, no reunion is perfect
but we are pretty close.

It’s after all this that Stephen has come out of the fog. Listening to Sarah
and Louise, along with more specialized therapy are major factors for this.
Stephen is quite familiar with fog as he grew up in Pacifica…. One of the
foggiest towns in California. Sunny days lie ahead….

The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler

Exciting News! We will be reading and discussing: You Should Be Grateful: Stories of Race, Identify, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker in Season 9.
Here is a link to order her book: bookshop link.

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USE THE CODE AND LINK TO: receive a 3-sample pack for free.