DiscoverWhat Are We DoingTHE WORLD TOUR!? Justin Timberlake's DWI Drama & Bill Belichick's New Love! PLUS WWIII Draft Looms!
THE WORLD TOUR!? Justin Timberlake's DWI Drama & Bill Belichick's New Love! PLUS WWIII Draft Looms!

THE WORLD TOUR!? Justin Timberlake's DWI Drama & Bill Belichick's New Love! PLUS WWIII Draft Looms!

Update: 2024-06-22
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Hey, hey, hey! It’s your boy Levi, and welcome back to another wild ride of "What Are We Doing." Buckle up because episode 146 is packed with all the juicy gossip, epic fails, and of course, my signature comedic commentary. Let’s dive right in!

Can you believe it? Justin Timberlake got himself in some hot water this week. Our boy JT was arraigned on one count of driving while intoxicated and released from police custody in New York. According to police, Timberlake was spotted around 12:37 a.m. in Sag Harbor, New York, driving a 2025 BMW like it was Mario Kart on Rainbow Road. He allegedly didn’t stop at a stop sign and couldn’t stay in his lane. Classic.

When the officer pulled him over, JT reportedly said he “had one martini and followed his friends home.” Yeah, because that always works as an excuse. His eyes were “bloodshot and glassy,” and there was a “strong odor of an alcoholic beverage” on his breath. Smooth move, Justin.

But wait, there’s more! While everyone else has been gawking at his mug shot, we here at the WAWD pod got an exclusive look at the sobriety test the officer gave him. Trust me, you’ll want to check this out. It’s pure comedy gold.

Next up, let’s talk about Bill Belichick, the former Patriots head coach who’s now living his best life with his new girlfriend, Jordon Hudson. TMZ dropped a photo of their first encounter on a flight back in February 2021. Bill, rocking a Rutgers sweatshirt, was all smiles next to Jordon, a 24-year-old former cheerleader. You go, girl!

Apparently, Bill was so taken with her philosophy project that he autographed her textbook, “Deductive Logic,” listing all the Super Bowls he won. Classic flex. Their relationship turned romantic after Bill’s messy breakup with longtime girlfriend Linda Holliday, which, let’s be honest, was like watching a slow-motion car crash.

Belichick’s post-Patriots tour included a pit stop at Gillette Stadium to celebrate Tom Brady’s Hall of Fame induction. The legendary duo reunited, and it was like watching the Avengers assemble. Jordon was right there by Bill’s side, probably thinking, “I can’t believe I’m dating this guy.”

### WWIII and The Draft

And just when you thought it couldn’t get crazier, WWIII is apparently here, and the draft is back on the table. The House of Representatives just passed a measure that automatically registers men aged 18 to 26 for selective service as part of the annual National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA). This year’s NDAA authorizes a whopping $895.2 billion in military spending – a cool $9 billion increase from last year.

Now, I know what you’re thinking – the draft hasn’t been invoked in over half a century, so why the sudden interest? Well, it turns out that it’s still mandatory for all male U.S. citizens to register when they turn 18. Failure to do so is classified as a felony and can lead to a host of legal headaches. Supporters of the amendment argue that this measure will cut down on bureaucratic red tape, help U.S. citizens avoid unnecessary legal issues, and save taxpayer dollars otherwise spent on prosecuting those cases. Instead, the resources can be redirected towards readiness and mobilization rather than education and advertising campaigns to get people to register.

And that’s not all! The NDAA also includes the largest-ever military pay raise in history, with a 19.5% increase for junior enlisted troops and a 4.5% increase for others. On top of that, there’s funding for two new Virginia-class submarines and the establishment of a drone force within the U.S. Army. So, while we’re ramping up our military capabilities, the question remains: who’s actually going to be called up?

Let me tell you, I’m not going unless LuBugg is going with me. We’ve got Russian nuke subs off the coast of Florida and $75 billion in Russian assets from NATO. The secret services' subs are showing up like it’s a Tom Clancy novel. Stay safe out there, folks, because it’s about to get real.


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THE WORLD TOUR!? Justin Timberlake's DWI Drama & Bill Belichick's New Love! PLUS WWIII Draft Looms!

THE WORLD TOUR!? Justin Timberlake's DWI Drama & Bill Belichick's New Love! PLUS WWIII Draft Looms!

Levi McCurdy