In this conversation, I talk with child behavior and adoption expert Bryan Post about how trauma, stress, and fear can shape the way our kids behave—and how we respond as parents. Bryan shares powerful insights about what’s really going on beneath the surface when kids are acting out, especially in families with adopted or foster children. We dive into the difference between parenting from love versus fear, how oxytocin plays a role in connection and regulation, and what it takes to break out of reactive cycles and create a more peaceful, nurturing home.

 About Bryan Post

Bryan Post is a leading expert in child behavior, adoption trauma, and love-based parenting. A former foster child himself, Bryan has dedicated over two decades to helping families heal through connection, compassion, and regulation. He is the founder of Fear to Love, LLC, Bondify.ai, the Post Institute for Family-Centered Therapy, and the nonprofit Leaf Wraparound. His pioneering “Fear to Love Method” and the “Stress Model” empower parents to respond to challenging behaviors with understanding rather than fear or punishment.

Bryan’s approach blends neuroscience with timeless spiritual principles, particularly the teachings of Jesus, to address trauma and attachment disruptions in children. He has authored several influential books, including From Fear to Love, The Great Behavior Breakdown, and Parenting Softly, and co-authored the bestseller Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control.

Through media appearances, live seminars, online trainings, and digital platforms, Bryan has impacted thousands of adoptive, foster, and biological families worldwide. His AI-powered parenting app, Bondify.ai, offers real-time, trauma-informed support, making expert guidance accessible to parents everywhere. Bryan’s central message is simple yet transformative: all behavior is communication, and true healing begins with love. Learn more at www.feartolove.com and www.bondify.ai.

Things you'll learn from this episode 

• Why understanding trauma gives parents the insight needed to respond to behavior with empathy rather than punishment

• How stress and fear often drive challenging behaviors, especially in neurodivergent children

• Why love and emotional safety are essential ingredients for healing and building strong parent-child relationships

• How self-regulation and simple tools like breathing help parents stay grounded and co-regulate more effectively

• Why unexpressed grief in children can surface as disruptive behavior and needs compassionate attention

• How connection, oxytocin, and community support create the foundation for lasting change—even if you're starting late in the game

Resources mentioned

• Bryan Post’s Fear to Love website

• Bryan’s YouTube Channel

• Bryan on LinkedIn

• Bryan on Instagram

• Fear to Love on Facebook

• 
  The Emotional Brain: The Mysterious Underpinnings of Emotional Life by Joseph Ledoux

• Dr. Herbert Benson / Benson-Henry Institute

• Tiffany Field / The Touch Institute

• ACES (Adverse Childhood Experiences)

• 
  Affect Regulation and the Origin of the Self by Allan Schore

• 
  Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life by Dr. Stuart Shanker

• 
  Dr. Stuart Shanker on the Brain Science Behind Self-Regulation & the Impact of Stress (Tilt Parenting podcast)

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