DiscoverThe Queer Family PodcastThe Bio/Non-Bio Myth: Why Love, Not DNA, Makes a Family
The Bio/Non-Bio Myth: Why Love, Not DNA, Makes a Family

The Bio/Non-Bio Myth: Why Love, Not DNA, Makes a Family

Update: 2025-10-06
Share

Description

Episode Summary (Podcast Apps)

Kevin and Alim—longtime partners, dads of two, and global citizens—share how they built their family through Canadian surrogacy, what they looked for in an egg donor, and how they talk to their kids about donor conception using a “meet them where they are” approach. We get real about the bio vs. non-bio parent feelings (yes, they’re normal), the difference between a natural birth and a planned C-section as intended parents, and the constant “coming out” kids do at school. Kevin also serves as Vice Chair of Fertility Friends Foundation, a Canadian charity offering fertility grants and partnered IVF cycles nationwide—their Fall application window opened October 1.

Sponsored by California Cryobank—use code QueerFam25 for a free Level 2 catalog subscription (and a discount on Level 3). Make those babies; then come tell me about them.

🏳️‍🌈 Key Takeaways

  • Intentionality > DNA: Non-bio worries are common; attachment grows through caregiving, time, and presence.
  • Normalize origin stories early: Use “drop the seed” moments—casual, repeated, age-appropriate mentions.
  • Prepare your ‘school scripts’: Short, kind, clear answers for curious adults and kids.
  • Know your lanes (Canada): Surrogacy is legal with restrictions; agency vs. independent both require strong legal and clinical partners.
  • Policy matters: Some citizenship regimes still hinge on DNA, which doesn’t reflect modern families.


🏳️‍🌈 About the Guest(s)🏳️‍🌈

Kevin – Canadian/Swiss dual citizen, longtime New Yorker, Vice Chair at Fertility Friends Foundation, a Canadian registered charity that offers need-based grants and a clinic partnership program covering a full IVF cycle for selected recipients.

Alim – Immigrated from Africa to Canada at age six; has lived and worked around the world. Together with Kevin for 21+ years, married 11, dad to Ava (10) and Noah (8).


🏳️‍🌈 Thanks to our sponsor California Cryobank! Thinking of growing your queer family? Use code QUEERFAM25 at cryobank.com for a FREE Level 2 subscription to their donor catalog!


🏳️‍🌈 Book with GWK's Spring Break Cruise Vacation! Join Jaimie and her family (and other LGBTQIA+ families) on a 3 night cruise in the Bahamas. Be sure to mention that you heard about it here! Click that link ➡️ https://travelbrilliant.net/mbg/gwk-spring-break-2026/

🏳️‍🌈 Resources Mentioned

  • Fertility Friends Foundation (Canada) – need-based fertility grants + partner-clinic IVF cycle program. Fall application window opened October 1. (Canada residents only.)
  • California Cryobank – Use code QueerFam25 for a free Level 2 donor catalog subscription (and discount on Level 3).


🏳️‍🌈 Interested in advertising? Email thequeerfamilypodcast@gmail.com

🎧 Loved this episode?

Support The Queer Family Podcast on Patreon for exclusive bonus content and help keep these stories alive!

OR become a paid subscriber through our RedCircle page for bonus episodes and one-time or recurring donations:

🔗 redcircle.com/thequeerfamilypodcast/exclusive-content

🏳️‍🌈 What resonated most with you?

Drop a comment, DM us, or email thequeerfamilypodcast@gmail.com—we love hearing your stories!

🏳️‍🌈 Let’s Connect!

Find us on IG, TikTok, Bluesky, & YouTube: @thequeerfamilypodcast 🏳️‍🌈 Watch full episodes on YouTube

🏳️‍🌈 Order the If These Ovaries Could Talk book 

🏳️‍🌈 Edited by: Jerson Barajas 🏳️‍🌈 Theme Song by: Tiffany Topol 🏳️‍🌈 Logo by: Daneen Stevenato 🏳️‍🌈 Shop merch here. 🏳️‍🌈 Full transcript & episode info available on our website

🗳️ VOTE. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ ADVOCATE. 🍼 BUILD QUEER FAMILIES.

Light content note: discussion of fertility treatment, surrogacy logistics, and a brief mention of DNA requirements for citizenship.

The information shared in this episode is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult a trusted professional for your specific situation!



Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-queer-family-podcast/exclusive-content

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Comments 
loading
In Channel
loading
00:00
00:00
1.0x

0.5x

0.8x

1.0x

1.25x

1.5x

2.0x

3.0x

Sleep Timer

Off

End of Episode

5 Minutes

10 Minutes

15 Minutes

30 Minutes

45 Minutes

60 Minutes

120 Minutes

The Bio/Non-Bio Myth: Why Love, Not DNA, Makes a Family

The Bio/Non-Bio Myth: Why Love, Not DNA, Makes a Family

Jaimie kelton