🎄 Put on your cute little helmet and join us on a journey back to 1984 for a Christmas special based on the toy craze that turned holiday shopping from a winter wonderland to a warzone. 

Julia (Tis the Podcast) and Steven (The Bigfoot Club) join the adventure from the hidden home of the Cabbage Patch Kids to the unnamed but totally identifiable big city in search of the Christmas spirit, while we evade 2 nearly identical but probably not related trios trying to kidnap us. It’ll all make sense. 

Actually, no. It will not. 

📺 “The Cabbage Patch Kids’ First Christmas” is well preserved on YouTube. Here’s an upscaled version. 

Watch Steven’s film, “The Bigfoot Club,” on Prime Video. 

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💬 Topics & Tangents: 

The totally official, extremely bonkers Legend of the Cabbage Patch Kids. 

Babyland General Hospital. 

‘Custody’ fight over Cabbage Patch dolls (Christian Science Monitor, 1983) 

Josh Rodine (Dawson Glenn) in “Sparky’s Magic Piano” (1987) 

Sparky Marcus (Xavier) as Banjo the Woodpile Cat (1979) 

“Kudzu: The Invasive Vine that Ate the South.” 

Piedmont Park. 

What idiot took the gay out of “Don we now our gay apparel”? 

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📼 Commercials: 

Cabbage Patch Kids Talking Phone (1984) 

Cabbage Patch Kids Hide and Seek Game (1984) 

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“The Cabbage Patch Kids’ First Christmas” © 1984 Ruby-Spears Enterprises, Inc. 

Theme song by Bronwen’s Ghost. 
Full show notes with links at adventcalendar.house. 
Hosted by The Retro Network.