Is male sexuality really just about lust—or have we been sold a lie?

In this deeply vulnerable episode of Hey Tabi, licensed trauma therapist Sam Jolman joins Tabitha Westbrook to uncover the untold story of male sexuality, emotional connection, and healing. Together, they expose how purity culture, porn exposure, and spiritual distortion have warped men’s understanding of their own bodies and desires, often with devastating consequences.

Whether you're a man trying to understand your sexual story, a woman wondering why your partner shuts down, or a therapist supporting clients through sexual trauma recovery, this episode will reshape how you think about intimacy, identity, and embodiment.

You’ll learn:

• Why men were taught to fear their sexuality and how that harms everyone
• How emotional disconnection sabotages intimacy in marriage
• Why “lust” isn’t the real problem (and what is)
• The difference between consumption and connection
• How the Church has often failed men by oversimplifying their struggle
• What healthy, heart-connected sexuality - the poetics of sex - actually looks like 
• Why healing is possible, even after trauma, shame, or years of struggle

This is the conversation we should’ve had decades ago, but it’s not too late. Men were made for more than performance. They were made for love, tenderness, and true intimacy. It’s time to reclaim that.

🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS
→ Sam Jolman’s book: The Sex Talk You Never Got - https://amzn.to/4ogAohx
→ Sam’s website: https://www.samjolman.com/

CHAPTERS & TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Welcome to Hey Tabi
01:20 Meet Sam Jolman & his journey
05:23 Purity culture myths & male shame
08:47 Mechanics vs Poetics of Sex
13:37 Healthy masculinity & emotional intimacy
20:41 Marriage, trauma & knowing your partner
29:43 Pornography exposure as harm
35:10 How men connect emotionally
41:59 Why safe touch and community matter
50:10 The church’s silent role in sexual harm
56:33 Reclaiming pleasure, play & healing

Wanna say hi? Send a text!

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Order Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control

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📩 Connect with Tabitha:
💻 Tabitha's Website - www.tabithawestbrook.com
📲 Tabitha's Instagram - www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor
🎙️ Podcast Homepage - https://heytabi.buzzsprout.com

💻 The Journey & The Process Website - www.thejourneyandtheprocess.com
📲 The Journey & The Process Instagram - www.instagram.com/_tjatp

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🚨 Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy and is intended for educational purposes only. If you're in crisis or need therapy, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

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