Most of us picture a “matchmaker” as a village elder with a little black book. Amber Lee flips that script. As co-founder of Select Date Society, she runs a boutique, white-glove matchmaking firm for high achievers and ultra-high-net-worth clients — pairing deep psychology with ruthless vetting to protect time, energy, and hearts.

In this conversation, Amber shares how a near-death cardiac arrest became the wake-up call to launch her own firm, why self-awareness is the #1 predictor of dating success, and how real compatibility goes far beyond a great photo or a perfect résumé. From attachment styles to the quiet biases of wealth and status, this is a masterclass in modern matchmaking — and building a relationship that lasts.

🔑 What you’ll learn

• Modern matchmaking, de-mythologized: why boutique > volume, and what “white glove” really means.


• Self-awareness as a superpower: the non-negotiable trait Amber screens for before taking any client.


• Attachment styles 101 (Attached, Gottman, IFS): secure vs. anxious vs. avoidant — and why “opposites” only work with skills and awareness.


• Attraction isn’t a headshot: how smell, voice, presence, safety and ease drive true chemistry.


• Protecting high-profile clients: filtering for intent, lifestyle alignment, and authenticity (beyond status and money).


• From boardroom to first date: softening your “operator mode” so connection can breathe.


• Resilience in love: the same trait that builds companies also sustains great relationships.

🧭 Episode Highlights

• The hospital-bed epiphany: turning a survival story into a purpose-built business.


• Why big agencies fail great clients — and how Amber’s team sometimes meets 50–100+ candidates for one match.


• Chemistry vs. checklists: when photos mislead and a great match needs a gentle push to say “yes.”


• How Amber vets for intent and integrity — especially with fame and wealth in the mix.


• Money can’t buy love, but lifestyle fit matters (values, time, travel, how you spend).


• Why many high-achieving women hire matchmakers (signal, safety, filtering, dignity).


• The “kite and string” metaphor: complementary differences that actually work — when you communicate.

🗣️ Key Quotes

“We don’t want clients falling in love with potential. Our job is to find the person who really fits.”

“Attraction happens in how someone makes you feel — safety, ease, presence — not a flat photo.”

“You’re not in the boardroom on a first date. Bring the softer version of your best self.”

👤 About Amber Lee

Amber Lee is the co-founder of Select Date Society, a boutique matchmaking firm serving high-achieving and high-profile clients with a 90% success rate. Trained by the Global Love Institute and the Gottman Institute, Amber blends rigorous vetting with relational science to create matches that last.

Connect with Amber:

• Website: www.selectdatesociety.com/about


• Instagram: www.instagram.com/amberleematchmaker/?hl=en


• LinkedIn:www.linkedin.com/in/amber-lee-matchmaker

🙌 Support & Subscribe

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About the host:

Paul Ryan is an entrepreneur, 8 figure business owner, mentor, podcaster and creator of the 1-Hour CEO and Life Code Program. As a CEO, Paul has a depth of 'real life' experience of what it takes to be successful in business and life.

Connect with the host:

https://www.theonehourceo.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/paul-ryan-9a98774/