In this episode of the Science of Success podcast, I had the pleasure of interviewing Jamie, a psychology expert, on the topic of agreements versus expectations. The conversation delved into the distinction between agreements and expectations, highlighting the negative impact of living in a world of expectations. Jamie emphasized that expectations often lead to premeditated resentments, setting oneself up for disappointment and frustration.


The discussion then shifted to the concept of the Drama Triangle, a behavioral model developed by Stephen Carpenter in the 1960s. The Drama Triangle consists of three roles - victim, perpetrator, and rescuer - representing negative ways of relating. Jamie explained how individuals can get trapped in these roles, leading to false intimacy and suffering.



Jamie provided insights on how individuals can shift from the Drama Triangle to the Green Triangle, which represents healthy ways of relating. By focusing on ownership, boundaries, and negotiation, individuals can empower themselves to make conscious choices and avoid falling into patterns of victimhood or rescuing.


The conversation also touched on the importance of addressing shame and fear, which often drive individuals to stay in unhealthy patterns. Jamie highlighted the need to confront shame and fear, as they can cloud one's sense of self-worth and prevent personal growth. By acknowledging and working through shame, individuals can move towards a healthier and more empowered way of living.
Overall, the episode offered valuable insights into the power of agreements over expectations, the dynamics of the Drama Triangle, and the importance of confronting shame and fear to foster personal growth and well-being. Jamie's perspective on shifting from victimhood to empowerment through ownership and healthy boundaries provided listeners with practical tools for navigating challenging relationships and situations.