In this episode, we talk with Ben Cremer—pastor, writer, and author of Into the Gray—about masculinity, humility, binary thinking, and the deep spiritual cost of choosing power over people. Ben opens up about his painful exit from denominational ministry, how his upbringing in Idaho shaped his faith, and why Jesus' model of strength challenges the dominant cultural narratives of manhood. We explore themes of empathy, nonviolence, spiritual formation, and the courage it takes to be curious and kind in polarized spaces. This conversation is a garden of nuance, honesty, and healing.

Takeaways

• Holistic masculinity looks like Jesus—not dominance, but humility and presence.

• Proximity breeds empathy; curiosity breeds compassion.

• We often choose power over love when fear leads our thinking.

• The Christian path is about cultivation, not conquest.

• Humility opens the door to transformation and healing.

• The incarnation shows us God’s way is relationship, not rigid belief.

• Repair is more important than rupture; we’re called to be Jesus’ hands, not the Savior.

  
  

Check out more of Ben Cremer:

Instagram –⁠ @brcremer⁠

Newsletter –⁠ Into the Gray⁠

⁠Ben's Website⁠

⁠Substack⁠

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Learn more about Three Percent: 🌐⁠ www.threepercentco.com

Chapters

(00:00 ) Introduction to Ben Cremer

(02:10 ) Life, Family, and Ministry Roots in Idaho

(07:00 ) Shifts in Denominational Alignment

(12:00 ) Being Pushed Out of the Church You Love

(15:00 ) What is Holistic Masculinity?

(20:00 ) David, Strength, and God’s Rebuke through Nathan

(23:00 ) Gardening vs. Gladiators – Chuck DeGroat's Reflection

(26:00 ) Resurrection and the Garden Metaphor

(29:00 ) Why Don’t We Get It? Power, Fear, and Control

(34:00 ) The Power of Incarnation

(37:00 ) Binary Thinking and the Cost of Certainty

(43:00 ) Online Pastoral Ministry and Personal Boundaries

(47:00 ) Humility in the Face of Misunderstanding

(49:00 ) Final Reflections & Where to Find Ben

Keywords

Ben Cremer, Three Percent, holistic masculinity, Into the Gray, Idaho, spiritual formation, Christian culture, emotional intelligence, binary thinking, fear and power, online ministry, pastoral pain, incarnation, gospel, humility, empathy, compassion, vulnerability, deconstruction, mental health, church hurt, curiosity, Jesus, masculinity, David and Nathan, spiritual growth, gardening metaphor, Chuck DeGroat, discipleship