Oh! The 15th came and went. Whoopsie!

Since I write these posts over the course of several weeks, there’s an assortment of tenses below and I just can’t be bothered to fix it all. I’m neither auditioning for nor wishing for any paid writing positions, so it’s fine. Think of it as creative license.

Cancer Central

Nothing much new to report in the world of cancer, though of course I could write about it all day. Cancer and the treatments thereof are actually somewhat fascinating subjects. There have been a lot of advancements since my mother had lung cancer in 1991 (thankfully for me).

As of this posting, I’m currently in the fourth cycle of my first four chemotherapy treatments. They call them “cycles” because it’s a three-week cycle, and there are definite cycles in how you feel across that three-week period.

Last time, for example, I experienced my worst bout of nausea and diarrhea yet, on the Thursday, Friday, and Saturday after the Tuesday chemo treatment. I actually went back into the oncology center that Friday and Saturday for hydrating IVs.

Scientifically, the nausea is because the chemo drugs target all fast-dividing cells in the body, which includes the cancer cells, but also includes a lot of collateral damage like regular cells in the gastrointestinal tract. It felt somewhat like having a stomach flu for a few days (although, to be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever actually had a stomach flu before).

For this fourth cycle, I’m preparing an aggressive schedule of anti-nausea meds to take starting on Wednesday night following the Tuesday treatment. I have three different ones, of varying effects. The idea is to make sure to take the meds before you start feeling nauseous, because I now know from experience they’re less effective during and after. I also have steroids, which are supposed to help with nausea.

It’s weird because I didn’t experience much of any nausea after the first cycle, and only a limited amount after the second cycle, on Saturday. After the third cycle I was feeling it pretty hard on Thursday night, Friday, and Saturday. Because it happened sooner than I expected, I wasn’t as prepared as I should have been.

The oncologist office’s explanation for the worsening nausea after each cycle is the increasing build-up of chemo drugs in my body. Three weeks isn’t quite enough time to flush all the drugs out of my system, apparently.

Anyway, my fourth treatment on September 9th will be my final one with two chemotherapy drugs (carboplatin and pemetrexed). After that, the plan is to change to “maintenence mode” with just the pemetrexed. I imagine that will lessen the side effects, as I believe the carboplatin is the more “powerful” drug (it takes much longer to deliver into my body, at least).

And I’ll continue with the daily Tagrisso pill, of course, which I imagine will continue for the rest of my life, and/or as long as they are effective, and/or as long as I have insurance to pay for them, and/or as long as I can afford them, and/or until something new is invented.

My next CT scan to check progress will be around September 23rd, and it’ll probably take a week to get those results, so maybe I’ll have them by my next blog post.

The Nausea Report

I can now report that I still had some nausea after my fourth treatment, but it was far less than it was after the third treatment, so mission accomplished. Still, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday are fairly sucky days after a Tuesday chemotherapy treatment, if you ever have to do it. Best-case scenario it’s an overarching feeling of queasiness, tiredness, and no appetite whatsoever.

Worth it, though.

Lessening Mental Trauma

The mental trauma of having lung cancer is lessening. It’s feeling like “the new normal,” and not an impending death sentence. It’s now feeling in the ballpark of something like diabetes, or some other life-long diagnosis that requires daily attention.

I’ve been lucky enough to be able to speak with one of the social workers (basically a therapist) at the oncology center a few times, and most recently we were talking about how strange it feels to be … optimistic? To relax a little? Having received nothing but bad news for months, it was somewhat jarring to receive good news from my last CT scan.

The result is a strange feeling of wanting to return to my normal routines and push the constant thinking about end-of-life out of my head. I struggled with feeling like I was being irresponsible to do so, but with scientifically-measurable progress in reducing cancer in the form of a positive CT scan last month, and even my oncologist sounding optimistic, it doesn’t feel so strange anymore.

I just saw a commercial about a new cancer immunotherapy drug during the Monday Night Football game. The actor pretending to be a patient said, “my cancer isn’t me,” and I can tell you that simple phrase hits very differently from my post-cancer perspective.

As a newly-diagnosed cancer patient, it is fairly difficult to stop thinking that your life is forever defined by cancer and all its treatments.

Incidentally it didn’t sound like that new drug applies to my type of cancer. I’m not doing any immunotherapy, currently, which is when they stimulate your immune system to kill the cancer cells. There’s a lot of different ways to treat cancer.

Also incidentally, my ears perk up a lot more at drug-related commercials that come up during football broadcasts now, especially when that mention the word “cancer.” A sure sign of getting old.

Mid-Chemo Phone Notes #1

Steroids cause hiccups… who knew?

I’m struck by how accommodating the oncologist’s office is in working with me to manage side effects of chemotherapy.

I had imagined I would need to just suck it up and deal with whatever happened if I wanted to get the benefits of killing off cancer cells, but that’s not the case at all.

I mention diarrhea and they’re calling me in to get IV hydration on a Friday and a Saturday. I mention increased nausea and they’re calling in new prescriptions and adjusting dosages. I mention hiccups and they’re changing the type of steroid I take before and after chemo.

Side note: Some of the patients rolling (literally) into the infusion center are heartbreaking. I don’t know why this person is here but they’re clearly terrified. They came in on a wheelchair and they have a docile little support terrier on their lap. Understandable because waiting rooms are pretty frightening places.

Gaming

Mid-Chemo Phone Notes #2

While sitting in a chair during chemo infusions is a pretty good time to write, it turns out. [Chemotherapy treatments are about 95% sitting and waiting.] On my phone though, so there’s a tradeoff. The main one being that I hit the space bar or period instead of the letters on the bottom row about 10% of the time.

In gaming news, I played a little bit more Avowed, and a little bit more Age of Wonders 4. I was able to record both of those play sessions without the maddening coughing fits I experienced back in the April/May time frame, so that was pretty cool.

Otherwise I don’t have a main game right now. I tried Nightreign again but it wasn’t that fun. It doesn’t really have that “I can’t wait to play more tomorrow” element. Many games don’t, it turns out.

It almost feels like developers have stopped trying to make new games, and they’re just focusing on sequels or expansions for old live service games. It’s not ideal for those of us who are constantly chasing that high of discovering a cool new game with some kind of hook we’ve never seen before.

And furthermore

I picked up Assassin’s Creed Valhalla on the PS5 for $11 or so. I haven’t played very much but so far it’s roughly the same as the previous game, just in a different setting. It passes the time.

Shockingly, I decided to get the Lies of P DLC Overture. I lambasted Lies of P up one side and down the other while I was playing it a few years ago, but I made it all the way to the end. I haven’t started it yet, but I missed the general thrill of navigating through a Souls-like game experience. It occurred to me one day that Souls-like games are akin to running an obstacle course, which child-me thought was the most fun concept ever.

UPDATE 9/18: Typical of the Lies of P punishment philosophy, it turns out you have to play through like 75% of the game in order to reach the starting point of the Overture DLC. Not sure I want to sign up for that after all. There’s an adjustable difficulty setting now, so maybe it won’t be the onerous chore it sounds like.

Media Production

I finally got around to setting up my previous gaming PC as a new recording PC, for my new gaming PC. That was one of the things I had planned to do right when I found out I had cancer. Anyway, check that off the list.

Media Consumption

Mid-Chemo Phone Notes #3

I’ve been trying to play more games in the evening but I find myself more interested in watching something on television.

One of the movies I forgot to mention watching last time was the new Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City. It gets my standard review score, the same review as nearly everything that comes out now: It was okay. I thought it was interesting that they sort of combined games 1 and 2 in