In this edition of The Update Journal, we solve three great holiday mysteries. First: yes, Freeform does exist on Spectrum — it’s just hiding like it’s in witness protection and apparently moved sometime during the Obama administration. We eventually found it, felt victorious for about six seconds, and immediately forgot the channel number again. Then, we take a moment of silence for the MetroCard. The little yellow-and-blue rectangle that survived decades of bent corners, demagnetized swipes, and frantic “why isn’t this working?” panic at the turnstile is officially on its way out. OMNY may be sleek and modern, but it will never understand the emotional bond between a New Yorker and a card that says “Insufficient Fare” in public. And finally, the holiday wish list from retail workers everywhere: not joy, not cheer, not another version of “All I Want for Christmas Is You” — just silence. No screaming kids, no “can I speak to a manager,” and no customers discovering on December 23rd that stores close at a certain time on purpose.

In the headlines on #TheUpdate this Monday, an NYPD officer shot and killed a boxcutter-wielding maniac in front of his parents after he charged at her, according to cops.

A New Jersey police chief is facing domestic violence charges in Massachusetts after prosecutors accused him of assaulting a woman at a hotel earlier this year.

And in Florida, Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche defended the Justice Department’s decision to release just a fraction of the Jeffrey Epstein files by the congressionally mandated deadline as necessary to protect survivors of sexual abuse by the disgraced financier.