Forgiveness is a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment, or vengeance towards a person or group of people who have harmed you regardless of whether they deserve it or not. 

Reconciliation is more than simply restoring friendly relations after a relational rupture has occurred. It involves rebuilding trust, moving towards connection, and fostering intimate bonds with those who hurt us. Repentance is the foundation and must be present when considering reconciliation in our relationships.

Reconciliation is not required by God. However, forgiveness is a direct instruction from the Lord. It is not optional for followers of Christ. Instead of struggling to forgive others because we think it implies reconciliation, we can separate them as two different things. We can forgive people who have hurt us while leaving the possibility of reconciliation up to their actions and God’s power to heal our hearts.  

Ephesians 4:31-32

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

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