This is Not a Vacation. My Kids Are Coming.
3Digest
This episode of Good Inside tackles the common anxieties parents face when traveling with kids. Dr. Becky addresses a listener's concern about her picky eater and a one-year-old on a long flight, emphasizing the theme of parental capability. She suggests that anxiety stems from the unknown and underestimation of our coping abilities, encouraging parents to focus on their strength and resilience. Dr. Becky then delves into car travel, offering practical advice for managing sibling rivalry. She advocates for "practice and dry runs" where families simulate challenging situations in a safe environment, allowing kids to practice coping skills. Dr. Becky also highlights the importance of connection and "filling up" children with love and attention before car rides. Finally, Dr. Becky addresses the judgment parents often face in public, suggesting strategies like creating a visual barrier to protect oneself from negative energy and reframing the thoughts of others to focus on support and understanding. She encourages parents to remember that they are capable and that travel, while challenging, can also be a source of joy and bonding.
Outlines
Introduction
This Chapter introduces the topic of traveling with kids and the challenges that come with it. Dr. Becky acknowledges that vacations with kids are not always relaxing and that parents often feel like they are just taking trips instead of truly getting away. She also mentions that there are ways to make travel more enjoyable and that she will be answering listener questions about traveling with kids.
Financial Considerations for Family Travel
This Chapter discusses the financial aspects of parenting and how it can be challenging to afford all the things parents want to do for their kids. Dr. Becky suggests that becoming an Airbnb host can be a great way to earn extra money for family vacations, activities, and other expenses. She encourages listeners to consider the potential income their home could generate.
Addressing Travel Anxiety with a Focus on Capability
This Chapter focuses on addressing the anxieties parents often experience when traveling with kids. Dr. Becky emphasizes the importance of recognizing and validating the challenges of travel, particularly with young children. She introduces the concept of "capability" and how it relates to anxiety, suggesting that anxiety stems from the unknown and underestimation of our coping abilities. Dr. Becky encourages parents to focus on their own strength and resilience, reminding them that they are capable of handling difficult situations.
Managing Sibling Rivalry During Car Rides
This Chapter explores strategies for managing sibling rivalry during car rides. Dr. Becky acknowledges that even short car trips can turn into full-blown disasters, especially with younger children. She emphasizes the importance of proactive measures to prevent conflict and promote a more enjoyable experience for everyone. Dr. Becky suggests "practice and dry runs" where families simulate challenging situations in a safe environment, allowing kids to practice coping skills. She also highlights the importance of connection and "filling up" children with love and attention before car rides.
Keywords
Good Inside
Good Inside is a podcast hosted by Dr. Becky Kennedy, a clinical psychologist specializing in child development and parenting. The podcast focuses on providing practical advice and strategies for parents to navigate the challenges of raising children with empathy, understanding, and a focus on building strong relationships.
Dr. Becky Kennedy
Dr. Becky Kennedy is a clinical psychologist and the host of the Good Inside podcast. She is known for her expertise in child development, parenting, and emotional regulation. Dr. Becky's approach emphasizes building strong parent-child relationships, fostering emotional intelligence, and creating a safe and supportive environment for children to thrive.
Traveling with Kids
Traveling with kids can be a challenging but rewarding experience. It requires careful planning, flexibility, and a willingness to embrace the unexpected. Parents often face logistical hurdles, such as managing picky eaters, dealing with tantrums, and keeping children entertained during long journeys. However, travel can also provide opportunities for family bonding, creating lasting memories, and expanding children's horizons.
Picky Eaters
Picky eating is a common concern among parents, particularly during travel. Children may resist trying new foods or stick to a limited range of familiar options. This can be stressful for parents, especially when traveling to unfamiliar destinations. Strategies for managing picky eating include offering a variety of foods, creating a positive and supportive environment, and avoiding power struggles.
Tantrums
Tantrums are a normal part of child development, but they can be particularly challenging during travel. Children may experience tantrums due to fatigue, hunger, frustration, or changes in routine. Strategies for managing tantrums include remaining calm, validating the child's feelings, and offering distractions or alternative activities.
Sibling Rivalry
Sibling rivalry is a common dynamic in families, and it can be amplified during travel. Children may compete for attention, resources, or control, leading to arguments and conflict. Strategies for managing sibling rivalry include promoting cooperation, fostering empathy, and setting clear expectations.
Capability
Dr. Becky Kennedy emphasizes the importance of parental capability, which refers to the belief in one's ability to handle challenging situations. She suggests that anxiety stems from the unknown and underestimation of our coping abilities. By focusing on our own strength and resilience, we can reduce anxiety and navigate difficult situations with greater confidence.
Practice and Dry Runs
Dr. Becky Kennedy advocates for "practice and dry runs" as a strategy for managing challenging situations, particularly with children. This involves simulating difficult scenarios in a safe environment, allowing children to practice coping skills and build resilience. For example, families can practice navigating car rides or dealing with tantrums in a controlled setting.
Airbnb Host
Airbnb is a popular online platform that connects travelers with hosts who offer accommodations in their homes or other properties. Becoming an Airbnb host can be a way to earn extra income, share your home with others, and provide a unique travel experience.
Q&A
How can I manage my picky eater's food preferences while traveling?
Dr. Becky suggests focusing on your own capability and reminding yourself that you've handled difficult situations before. Instead of stressing about finding specific foods, try to create a positive and supportive environment where your child feels comfortable trying new things. You can also involve them in the food selection process, allowing them to choose from a variety of options.
What can I do to prevent sibling rivalry during car rides?
Dr. Becky recommends "practice and dry runs" where you simulate challenging situations in the car, allowing your kids to practice coping skills. You can also try the "Philip game" before rides, which involves hugging your kids and filling them up with love and attention. Finally, she suggests establishing a "wiggle break" routine where you pull over for a few minutes to allow kids to move around and release energy.
How can I deal with judgment from others when traveling with kids?
Dr. Becky suggests creating a visual barrier to protect yourself from negative energy. Imagine yourself in a bubble where other people's looks and thoughts can't penetrate. She also encourages reframing the thoughts of others, assuming they are thinking positive things about you and your child, such as "That parent is going through so much and is doing such a good job."
Show Notes
Once you have kids, vacations aren't vacations anymore. They're trips. And traveling with kids, big and small, can be a challenge. As we head into summer, Dr. Becky shares some tips and small shifts to help get you through stressful travel moments while creating core memories for your family.
Good Inside's Guide to Traveling with Kids: https://bit.ly/4biF0MP
Upcoming DFK Workshop on June 5th @ 12pm EST: https://bit.ly/3wCYrBH
Get the Good Inside App by Dr. Becky: https://bit.ly/4doK9nF
Join Good Inside Membership: https://bit.ly/3WxbPAe
Good Inside's Back to School Toolkit: https://bit.ly/46yGEsw
Follow Dr. Becky on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside
Sign up for our weekly email, Good Insider: https://www.goodinside.com/newsletter
Order Dr. Becky's book, Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be, at goodinside.com/book or wherever you order your books.
For a full transcript of the episode, go to goodinside.com/podcast
To listen to Dr. Becky's TED Talk on repair visit https://www.ted.com/talks/becky_kennedy_the_single_most_important_parenting_strategy
Today’s episode is brought to you by Airbnb: After years of traveling together, Dr. Becky now loves staying on Airbnb so that their vacation can feel, well, more like a vacation. On a recent trip to visit family in Chicago, she found the perfect family-friendly Airbnb that had toys for her youngest, family games for all of them, and even the same book series her eldest was in the middle of reading - oh, and gave her and her husband a living room so they could have have time to themselves after the kids went to bed. Talk about an all-around win. Did you also know that while you’re away, your home could be an Airbnb for another family? It’s a great way to earn some extra money to use on your family’s next vacation. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com/host.
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