In this episode, Simone and Malcolm Collins dive deep into the surprising ways American public schools have started to resemble multi-level marketing (MLM) schemes. From endless fundraisers and donation drives to the rise of for-profit school photo companies and Scholastic book fairs, they explore how the focus has shifted from education to extracting money from parents and families.

They discuss the impact of teachers’ unions, the inefficiency of increased school spending, and the lack of accountability in the public school system. The conversation is filled with personal anecdotes, data, and a critical look at how school choice and alternative education models could offer a solution.

If you’ve ever wondered why your child comes home talking more about selling popcorn than what they learned in class, or if you’re frustrated by the constant fundraising requests, this episode is for you.

Finally, here’s today’s episode outline, as Simone did this one! The transcript can be found at the end.

Episode Outline: Schools Are MLMs Now - We Are In Full-On Idiocracy Already

The Gist

* The only thing our son talks about with regard to his school experience is fundraisers and donations

* This week—THIS WEEK ALONE—we have been repeatedly hammered about THREE THINGS:

* Picture day (retakes)

* Donating candy for decorating gingerbread houses, BECAUSE THEY CANCELLED THE ONE FIELD TRIP OF THE YEAR

* Participating in a readathon fundraiser

This comes at a time when it is more clear than ever that US public schools are failing:

* Trening on X: A University of California, San Diego report shows placements into remedial math courses jumped from 32 students in 2020 to 921 in 2025, or 11.8% of freshmen. Despite high school GPAs averaging 3.74 and many claiming calculus experience, placement tests revealed gaps in basics like fractions and word problems, with weak links to transcripts. Factors include COVID learning losses, test-free admissions since 2021, and more students from under-resourced schools; outcomes are poor, with high failure rates in calculus and fewer engineering degrees.

* Peter Meijer puts it well: In just a decade, education activists in the US managed to set back student outcomes by 50 years, an impressive accomplishment rivaled only by the Taliban’s takeover in Afghanistan.

Schools Have Become MLMs

Schools Are Being Used to Shill Private Companies’ Products

There’s a Great Planet Money episode titled “The secret world behind school fundraisers and turning kids into salespeople”

Here’s a summary of the NPR Planet Money episode, “Why do schools in the U.S. rely on kids to raise money?”:

* The podcast addresses the open secret that school fundraisers are a staple in American education.

* It talks about how students are often incentivized to sell products (like popcorn, chocolate, wrapping paper) with the promise of prizes—sometimes extravagant ones, but usually less valuable than the effort required.

* SC personal memories selling See’s Candies and wrapping paper

* The episode follows Villacorta Elementary in La Puente, California, showing how fundraising is needed for things not covered by the official budget—especially field trips. The PTA plays a central, tireless role in organizing these efforts.

* While schools receive substantial funding per student (mostly spent on salaries and basic operations), Principals have limited discretionary funds. Budget rules often restrict spending, making PTA-raised money especially valuable because it’s unrestricted

* [NOT MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE: This spending is functionally restricted, if not technically restricted, by TEACHERS’ UNIONS DEMANDS]

* Fundraising companies compete for PTA business, enticing members with dinners and easy logistics. The typical split is ~40% to the school, 60% to the company, so the value-return for schools is not great.

* Kids today “sell” mostly via family and friends, not door-to-door, but social pressure remains. Teachers often organize smaller events, while kids hope for prizes, even if they’re small trinkets.

* The motivation for fundraising is partly tactical: It’s easier to rally families to support fun perks like field trips and parties than operational costs. Cash donations are less popular than fundraisers with tangible rewards.

* PTA funds fill gaps, helping schools overcome bureaucratic hurdles and buy things needed quickly, which public funds can’t always provide.

* The Planet Money team concludes that ultimately, the system persists because people prefer to give when there’s excitement, visible reward, and community involvement—despite the inefficiencies and emotional discomfort of turning kids into salespeople.

Don’t Forget the Other Fundraisers!

These fundraisers are in addition to X-athons, school photos, and Scholastic book fairies, which were a part of my public school education and also a part of our son’s public school education

X-Athons

Walkathons and readathons, along with similar achievement-based fundraisers, have been held in US public schools since at least the early 1970s, gaining significant popularity by the late 1970s and 1980s

* Simone’s walkathon experiences

* Octavian’s current readathon

* But this encourages kids to read!!

* NOT AT ALL

School Photos

The Lifetouch Conspiracy

* Early school photos were often group shots taken outside the school; the idea of individual portraits and unified “picture day” events became popularized more broadly as companies like Lifetouch scaled up operations and introduced standardized processes and products.

* Then Lifetouch came along

* Lifetouch is the major school photography company in the US

* Lifetouch has been providing school photos since 1936, when it was founded as National School Studios in Minnesota. This means the company has nearly 90 years of continuous operation in the school photography business

* Prior to Lifetouch’s expansion, the school photography industry was comprised mostly of smaller, independent photographers and regional companies.

* It encourages schools to disrupt classes to have students photographed so they can sell those photos to parents

* Lifetouch photos ARE AWFUL

* Public schools receive a commission from Lifetouch ranging from 15% to as high as 50% of sales, though the typical range is 15% to 20% for most contracts.

* Some agreements are based on a flat fee per package sold or a guaranteed minimum commission. Other contracts might include signing bonuses or extra products and services as incentives for schools.

Scholastic Book Fairs

* Scholastic book fairs have been held in public schools since 1981, when Scholastic purchased the California School Book Fairs and began organizing in-school book fairs nationwide

* California School Book Fairs was a company that made money by selling books directly to students and families at school-hosted events

* Schools that host Scholastic book fairs generally receive either 25% of the total sales as cash profit or 50% as “Scholastic Dollars,” which is a form of store credit usable for educational materials from Scholastic

* This 25% cut only comes with the highest tier; the book sales have to exceed $2,500 to get that cut

* Profit returned to schools nationwide totals approximately $200 million annually.

* But Scholastic makes A LOT more

* Scholastic Corporation is a publicly traded company listed on NASDAQ under the ticker symbol SCHL

* Gross profit margins for Scholastic Corporation have typically been strong, with the latest trailing twelve months figure around 55.8%

More Spending Doesn’t Produce Better Outcomes

This is summarized well by Emil Kirkegaard on substack in his writeup “Against the economists on school spending” in which Kirkegaard highlights how large randomized, controlled trials on educational interventions almost always show no or negligible benefits.

Highlights:

* Kirkegaard critiques claims, common in economics and education policy circles, that increasing school spending significantly improves student outcomes, particularly test scores.

* Kirkegaard references major studies (like the Coleman Report) showing that parental background and socioeconomic status matter much more than school variables for student achievement. School-related factors contribute only about 10% to outcomes.

* He highlights meta-analyses and prominent studies frequently cited by economists, noting that effect sizes for increased spending on test scores are extremely small (typically 0.030.030.03 standard deviations per $1,000 per pupil, or even less), and that results are often muddied by bias, p-hacking, and publication bias in the literature.

* There is deep skepticism regarding complex economist studies employing complicated statistical techniques to claim causal effects. Kirkegaard prefers large, simple randomized controlled trials, which consistently find null or very minor effects for spending and interventions (average effect size about 0.060.060.06).

* Examples such as massive funding boosts for “Abbott” districts in New Jersey, Mark Zuckerberg’s donation to Newark schools, and LeBron James’ high-profile Akron school, all failed to improve achievement gaps or test scores.

* Kirkegaard argues academia has self-interest in producing research suggesting more funding yields po