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Brad and Kate Aldrich explore how seemingly healthy self-care activities might actually be "imitation self-care" that creates distance rather than true rejuvenation in marriage relationships.

• Imitation self-care activities mimic real self-care but leave us feeling worse afterward
• Binge-watching shows and mindless scrolling often become ways to avoid connection
• The content we're drawn to often reveals something about our emotional needs
• Workaholism serves as false self-care when it provides validation missing at home
• Marriage strain often peaks when couples have infants around 6-7 months old
• Other common substitutes include shopping, excessive cleaning, and using spirituality to avoid problems
• Healthy curiosity about our coping mechanisms helps us understand our deeper needs

When the temptation to engage in these activities arises, invite it onto the porch and ask why it's here right now. Rather than trying to ignore or indulge it, use it as information about what you truly need.

Still Becoming One
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