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Violation Ep 4: Heart Tests

Violation Ep 4: Heart Tests

Update: 2023-04-1212
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How do you build a meaningful life in prison, knowing you might never be free? What if whether you might one day be free hinges on your ability to build a meaningful life in prison? In Part 4 of “Violation," we follow Jacob Wideman’s decades-long journey through the Arizona prison system and hear how he prepared to tell his life story to the parole board.



Two years after he murdered Eric Kane, Jake was transferred from county jail to the Arizona Department of Corrections to begin serving a life sentence. At 18 years old, he was thrust into a world where the only way to feel safe was through physical aggression and bravado. He had many years of practice pretending he wasn’t suffering from mental health struggles in his youth, but now, Jake had to push those struggles even further out of sight as he faced a series of challenges in prison, each more difficult than the last.



“Heart test” is prison shorthand for proving yourself when you first arrive in the facility — standing up for yourself and not snitching to guards after you’ve been assaulted, for example. But the physical heart tests of Jake’s early years would give way to heart tests of a different kind: a slow and painful journey to identify and manage his mental health problems, and a search for love, even through prison bars. Eventually he would have to stitch all these experiences together to tell the parole board a compelling life story, in the hopes that they would one day find him worthy of release.

Comments (4)

AliQ

This is as far as I could handle listening. Not sure if this podcast is about the inefficiency and incompetence in parole boards, or a sob song for someone who has used every last social hot button excuse for his actions. Further , the podcast runs off into a direction of mooning over a mediocre at best “celebrated author” who also leans on a fantastical version of a hard knocks life as a crutch. And really ? REALLY? “Dr. “ DeSoto? Why not a podcast on ALL of her conflicts of interest?

Jun 3rd
Reply (1)

Me

Interesting podcast. I began practicing DBT several years ago and it has completely changed my life. I think it would have amazing effects if everyone could learn it. Glad to know Jake is using it. I hope more prison therapists teach it.

Mar 27th
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Fangs Alot

not sure I feel much empathy for Jake so far at all. I felt a little, in the beginning, but then he just started to sound like a rich shithead of a kid. And... If he really did want to die, I can think of much better ways to get yourself killed in prison than to ring the cops & confess to a random murder in the hope of getting the death penalty, (which won't even be carried out for at least a decade or more of jail time anyway 🤷🏼 ) !! Just piss off a gang or become a grass, you'll be dead in a month, but he's saying he wants to die at the same time he wants protection??? Nah. Jake's not growing on me at all. The more I 👂 to him the more he sounds like a dick and a bit of a self pitiful liar, too, to be honest. Lots of shitty childhoods & untreated, unrecognised conditions in lots of kids out there who are&were much worse off than Jake - Jake be a rich boy, man! Nah. No sympathy for Jake, I'm afraid. I think I'll end this podcast here - it started with potential, but now feels like

May 8th
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Violation Ep 4: Heart Tests

Violation Ep 4: Heart Tests

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