On this episode of We’re Gonna Talk About It Podcast, with guest Richard Miiro, we unpack the chaotic journey of identity in your 20s—an age where you’re expected to “figure it all out,” yet somehow feel more lost than ever.

We confront the big questions: To be or not to be? Are we actively choosing our identity, or simply reacting to what’s been imposed on us? Why is it that so many people—especially men—struggle to answer, “Who am I outside of expectations?”

We dive deep into:

• The male identity crisis and why so many young men feel unseen

• The rise of incels and how toxic influencers and media role models like Donald Trump and Andrew Tate are shaping modern masculinity

• The cultural impact of the Vogue article claiming “having a boyfriend is embarrassing,” and how this shift affects how men perceive themselves

We go further to explore the darker side of self—the part that sometimes emerges under substances—and how confronting that internal conflict often triggers cognitive dissonance. That moment when the version of yourself you’ve believed in crashes into the version that frightens you.

We also talk about the importance of understanding where you fall on the Dark Triad spectrum (Machiavellianism, narcissism, and psychopathy) as a tool for self-awareness and emotional regulation.

And most importantly, we discuss how to show yourself kindness—even when what you uncover about yourself makes you uncomfortable.

This episode is for anyone:

• Struggling to define who they are in their 20s

• Trying to build a healthy male identity in the age of hyper-masculinity and social media influence

• Battling internal conflict or wrestling with past versions of themselves

• Searching for grounding, purpose, and authenticity

Tune in. Reflect. Reframe. Because identity isn’t something you find—it’s something you negotiate with daily.