• Richard


• Lisa


• Lizzie


• Tom


• Serendipidy


• Norval Joe


• Planet Z

The next topic is PICK TWO

It burns!

Fare

Value-added

Horse glue

Evolution

NORVAL JOE

The Five Star Sister’s coven sat around a campfire in the sand. Waves crashed on the shore a dozen yards away as they toasted marshmallows and assembled smores.

After an hour of enjoying the tasty trifecta of graham cracker, marshmallow, and melted chocolate bar, one of the women said, “Do you hear that sound?”

“I can’t hear a thing, Marsha,” another replied.

“That’s just it.” Marsha said, stood and looked at the ocean.

Where waves had been crashing on the shore was only wet sand and seaweed. The ocean had withdrawn a hundred yards out to sea.

“Uh oh,” Marsha said.

TOM

The dwarf, the elf, the man, and the Wizard noted the swinging sign over

the ramshackle tavern. The elf asked: “Safe?!” The wizard replied: “Seem

so.” Upon entering the drinking establishment the man inquired about the

lore concerning the name outside the door. A world-weary barkeep said:

“We have an agreement with the arch-mage of the School of Magic

Confections to serve their student magus.” Just then a misspoke chant

rose from a table. The room was engulfed in Sugar Fire. All within were

completely covered in brown goo. Aye Melting Chocolate Bar. Licking a

finger the dwarf said: “sweet”

SERENDIPIDY

By the time I was done, his face resembled a melted chocolate bar.

That is, if you like your chocolate burned, bloody and full of broken bone fragments.

Coming to think of it, maybe a melted chocolate bar was a poor analogy. Think instead of that end scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark, when those Nazis had their faces blasted away when the ark was opened.

Either way, you get the general idea, right?

Did he have it coming? Probably not; he just happened to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Right time for me though!

LIZZIE

With a melted chocolate bar, he said. The barista turned around. Melted? Yes, his teeth, he mumbled. I don’t want to be judgmental, she said, but perhaps chocolate isn’t a good option. He shrugged. With milk, please. She grabbed a chocolate bar from the counter and dropped it in the cup with hot milk. Anything else? No, he said. Are you OK? He smiled the saddest smile she had ever seen. Go sit down, now, I’ll come over and chat. I’ll even make a melted chocolate bar cup of milk for me! And this is why he’s still alive today.

LISA

The Joy of New Jeans.

I’ve been shopping. I got new jeans. White! I know… who even am I? Anyway, I’m feeling great. I think it’s changed the way I’m walking or my expression or something because it feels like everyone’s staring as I walk for the bus.

I’m sure I heard them whispering about me when I got off the bus too. I think I must be imagining it. I mean, it’s just a pair of jeans. Right?

When I get home I realise people have been talking: a melted chocolate bar has somehow spread it’s delight all over the back of the jeans.

RICHARD

— Melted —

I’ve never understood people who keep their chocolate in the fridge, and I can’t abide it.

For me, chocolate should be served at room temperature, better still, slightly above -soft and creamy- just on the point of melting.

And let’s not stop there. The ultimate indulgence for me is to pop a piece in my mouth, and let it slowly melt over my tongue.

Sometimes, I’ll stuff a bar in my pocket, just to bring it up to the perfect temperature for eating.

But, often I forget it’s there.

And end up with a melted chocolate bar.

Best thing ever!

PLANET Z

Some people credit Perry Spencer for inventing the microwave oven.

He was a Raytheon employee who noticed that microwaves from a radar set he was working on melted a candy bar he had in his pocket.

Later, he tested the effect on popcorn, and then on an egg.

Other engineers performed experiments and confirmed Perry’s findings.

They worked up a proposal and brought it to management.

Who rejected it.

“What fool wants to be cooking food in their pockets?”

It’s when they put the food in a bowl and inside a box with the microwaves that the management were convinced.