• Richard


• Lisa


• Tura


• Lizzie


• Tom


• Serendipidy


• Norval Joe


• Planet Z

The next topic is Gift

LISA

Cynthia’s had a Fall

It’s a tale as old as time: we were discussing the idea of assistive technology. Well, we mentioned things, they were refused. Luckily, Cynthia’s house already had rails and ramps but the idea of wearing a medical assistance necklace was dead in the water.

She really didn’t want a daily phone-call either, once a week on Friday was all she’d agree to.

Cynthia fell again on Tuesday. She didn’t answer Friday’s call so we went over. There was smeared blood, as if she’d been dragged, across the carpet and Aunty Cynthia, dead, an arm stretch away from the pendant alarm.

RICHARD

Help!

Gotta love assistive technology!

I’ve ditched clunky, outdated and labour-intensive interfaces with my computer, in favour of technological solutions.

I replaced my keyboard and mouse with speech recognition, and I don’t even turn my monitor on, since my screen reader takes care of that.

My Roomba does the carpets and the robot mower cuts the grass.

Alexa takes care of boiling the kettle, ordering my groceries and controlling the heating.

All I have to do is sit here.

Even my chair helps me to my feet.

Then I fall down, unable to get up, thanks to my atrophied muscles!

TOM

old

When you reach a curtain age in life one needs a bit of Assistive

Technology to get through the day. Take the Randick Pecker Electrostatic

360. A marvel of modern know-how. 11 setting (max level may cause death,

see your doctor if you stop breathing) And there are lot of add-on

packages for your package. The rainbow led array, the quadrophic micro

speaker sub-woffers. There the AC-DC switch hitters add-on, the solo

master unit. Powered by harmless hydro cells (do not store in a dark

place for over a month, call 911 in the event of a fire). Use responsively.

TURA

Assistive technology

———

All technology is assistive— that’s what it’s for. But everything that assists you weakens you. Writing destroyed memory. Keyboards destroyed handwriting. Central heating, hot showers, and soft beds destroy resilience. Abundant food destroys health. Prosperity destroys reproduction. Instant communication foments strife. Peace flows inexorably into war.

Teaching prevents learning, answers prevent thought, advice saps initiative, ease destroys character.

And AI, the everything box, will destroy everything.

For this is the iron law of success: that every success contains the seeds of its failure. The easier we make the path of life, the shallower the heights we scale on the way.

SERENDIPIDY

The torture business is hard, physical work, and it really takes a toll on your body.

After a long day in the dungeons, your body aches and you feel utterly worn out.

It’s lifting all those heavy iron shackles, manhandling prisoners and hauling on ropes and chains all day.

Chopping off heads is the worst. My dodgy shoulder isn’t up to hefting that axe anymore.

So I persuaded management to buy one of those new -fangled guillotines, and it’s completely transformed my life.

You can say what you like about the modern world and the march of progress.

But assistive technology rocks!

LIZZIE

The little robot rolled around, following him. No, thank you. No need. You can roll back to your corner, he said holding his daughter’s photo. The pain was unbearable. The robot tilted its head to look at the photo. He frowned. What do you want? The robot blinked twice. He stared at it in silence. He knew that blink. He looked closer. Is it you in there? The robot blinked twice. He rushed to read the gift card again. And there it was. It’s just a robot, he thought, but it wasn’t just a robot. That blink saved his life.

NORVAL JOE

Mandy and Bobby waited in the back seat of the car. The strange old lady patted her head three times. “This is the place. Billbert’s inside.”

Seeing the tail of the active shooter’s van in a garage, Mandy knew the woman was right. “How did you find him?”

The woman muttered something about assistive technology, then said, “Stop wasting time and save the boy.”

Mrs. Weinerheimer was first out of the car and followed by Mandy and Bobbi.

They peered through a filthy window and saw the backs of two men and Billbert with his hands wrapped around Sabrina’s neck.

PLANET Z

Fred’s documentation is the world’s best.

He doesn’t just walk people through the process, but he works with the developers to get the interface so intuitive and easy to use, he barely needs to write anything.

And yet, people call Support with the dumbest questions.

They want people to do things for them.

And when the support person walks them through the process, it’s so easy.

It’s not like they’re sucking and puffing on a straw to make things work.

Shut up. Quit whining. Just do it.

Fred finishes the memo and blinks his eyes to close the text window.