Summary

In this deeply personal episode, Jamie and Blake step away from interviews to reflect on one of the most important and tender questions they ask as therapists and friends: What’s the point in changing? Recorded during a 3% planning retreat, they share the raw stories of their own healing journeys—from addiction, numbness, and rage to freedom, connection, and hope. Whether you’re seeking freedom from a behavior or freedom for deeper relationships, this episode offers both encouragement and honesty for anyone in process.

Mentioned Resources

• Chip Dodd’s Feelings Chart: https://www.chipdodd.com/free-resources-download

• Jay Stringer’s book Unwanted: https://jay-stringer.com/book/

• The Voice of the Heart by Chip Dodd: https://www.chipdodd.com/books

Takeaways

• There’s often no clear “start” to change—just the next honest step.

• External motivations (like a spouse or relationship) can be valid entry points.

• Deep transformation comes when we realize we need to change for ourselves.

• We are not our behaviors—shame grows when we enmesh identity with struggle.

• Empathy often has to be relearned—and it starts with how we talk to ourselves.

• Change is not linear, and recovery is a lifelong journey.

• You're worth the work it takes to be known, healed, and free.
  

Chapters

(00:00 ) Welcome from the Cabin

(02:32 ) What Motivates Change?

(04:50 ) Motivational Interviewing & Counseling Insights

(06:44 ) Blake’s Story: Hitting a Wall

(10:10 ) Changing for a Relationship

(13:00 ) You Are Not the Problem

(16:20 ) Freedom From vs. Freedom For

(18:00 ) Jamie’s Story: Numbness and Rage

(22:10 ) The Role of Porn in Emotional Numbing

(24:55 ) Shifting Motivation Over Time

(26:20 ) Healing as Ongoing Work

(29:00 ) The Little Boy Inside Who Still Wants to Hide

(32:30 ) Parenting Yourself with Compassion

(35:10 ) Why Progress Feels Like a Circle

(37:00 ) Change for You, Not Just Them

(39:00 ) You’re Worth It

Keywords therapy, change, healing, recovery, shame, emotional health, addiction, porn recovery, motivation, empathy, rage, fatherhood, masculinity, self-awareness, spiritual formation, honesty, holistic masculinity, personal growth, identity, trauma, freedom, Jay Stringer, Chip Dodd, Voice of the Heart, emotional literacy