Have you ever struggled over whether to accept an invitation or opportunity? Should I say yes, or no? Join Dr. Regan as she discusses the importance of identifying goals and asking "what might that look like" before making a final decision. 

Previous podcast episodes mentioned:

Attention Deficit Disorder and Autism: Similarities and Differences

Dr. Regan's Master Class for Clinicians:

Zur Institute: Master Class

Dr. Regan's Resources

Book: Understanding Autism in Adults and Aging Adults, 2nd ed

Audiobook

Book: Understanding Autistic Behaviors

Autism in the Adult website homepage

Website Resources for Clinicians

Read the transcript:

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Hi there.

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This is Doctor Regan joining you for an episode of Autism in the Adult podcast.

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I'm your host.

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I'm also a neuropsychologist, author and speaker,

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a certified autism specialist and the parent of a teen on the autism spectrum.

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You are joining me today for an episode entitled,

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"what might that look like?"

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One of the things that clients and families often ask me is,

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"should we plan on this" or "should I say yes to this?"

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Now,

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this could mean being the best man at a family wedding or taking a family vacation to a cabin in the woods.

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It could mean accepting a full time job in an office setting.

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Now,

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my response is rarely yes or no,

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but rather "what might that look like?"

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So before we jump into the topic for today,

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we are coming up to the third anniversary of this podcast,

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the first episode launched on August 7th 2020 it highlighted similarities and differences between autism and ADD or ADHD.

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Now,

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this premiere episode is one of the most popular of the podcast and I plan to expand this topic into a series after today's episode which will further define executive function,

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its presentation in autism and ADD, and resources for harnessing the power of executive function.

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Secondly,

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I want to inform clinicians about an upcoming master class.

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I'm offering through Zur Institute about autism across the lifespan.

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I received so many emails and messages through my website about people seeking autism informed clinicians to provide them with diagnostic input information,

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education and solutions for roadblocks they may have encountered.

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So the bottom line is that more clinicians are needed to serve individuals who are searching for this specialization.

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And my response has been to offer multiple courses through Zur Institute. It's a continuing education site for clinicians.

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My goal is to equip clinicians across various regions to assist individuals in their communities.

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When this type of service is needed,

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the master class offering will focus on advanced topics and it starts in September space is limited and I'll have the link in the show notes.

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So let's jump into our topic for today.

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The autistic individual may have opportunities to accept or decline invitations and the invitation may be to enter an advanced academic program rather than the basic program.

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Perhaps the invitation is to travel.

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The invitation may be to lead a group such as being the best man at a family wedding or presenting research to professionals.

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My experience is that there's value in viewing the invitation not so much as a yes or no question.

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Do I accept this?

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Do I say no.

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But by asking ourselves,

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what might that look like?

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A yes,

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no view would be to see the invitation as a formed and complete package.

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So if I say yes to being the best man,

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I will plan the bachelor party,

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make a speech,

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toast,

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the couple at the reception,

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et cetera saying no to the invitation means I'll,

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I won't participate in these activities.

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But instead of a yes,

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no mindset,

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we can often talk through alternatives by asking,

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what might that look like?

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What might it look like to say?

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Yes,

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in a way that works for me and for the people around me.

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The first point to think about is what is the ultimate goal?

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What is the desired outcome?

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The goal for a vacation with family members may be to have relaxing experiences,

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to see natural landscapes that you've never seen and to connect with other family in a meaningful way.

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The goal for presenting your research to professionals may be to advance your career,

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make professional connections with others and highlight your role in the work that's been done.

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Identifying what a good outcome would look like is empowering because it helps us identify a handful of core foundational objectives.

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And when we work toward those objectives,

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we can release some of the trappings that may be part of the activity,

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but they're really not core to what we're going after for the individual,

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considering a full-time office job,

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he may decide that the foundational goals would be to have work stability.

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If he's currently doing consulting work,

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for example,

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he would,

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he may want more of a predictable salary and to have his name associated with a company that has a respected reputation in his field.

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So the first step you can focus on is determining what would be a good outcome.

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What would it look like in this situation to really dive in and also to feel like things went well.

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The first step you should focus on is determining what a good outcome would look like in this situation.

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What would a good outcome for participating in the wedding look like?

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