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What You Need to Do When Your Kids Make a Mistake

What You Need to Do When Your Kids Make a Mistake

Update: 2024-05-30
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This episode of the Peace and Parenting podcast delves into the concept of letting children fail as a crucial aspect of connected parenting. The host, Michelle, argues that allowing children to experience failure, even in seemingly small situations like being mean to a friend or missing school due to being late, is essential for their growth and development. She emphasizes that this approach fosters resilience, self-sufficiency, and the ability to learn from mistakes. Michelle contrasts this with overprotective parenting, which can hinder children's ability to navigate challenges and develop essential life skills. She highlights the importance of trusting children to make their own decisions and learn from their experiences, even when it means facing difficult moments. Michelle also emphasizes the role of parents in providing support and empathy during these challenging times, rather than intervening or offering solutions. The episode concludes with a call to action for parents to embrace this approach, allowing their children to fail and learn from their mistakes, ultimately leading to stronger, more independent individuals.

Outlines

00:00:00
Introduction and Sponsor Acknowledgement

This Chapter begins with a brief introduction to the Peace and Parenting podcast and a thank you to the sponsors for making the show possible.

00:01:08
The Importance of Letting Children Fail

This Chapter delves into the core message of the episode, emphasizing the importance of allowing children to fail as a crucial aspect of connected parenting. Michelle argues that failure is a necessary part of learning and growth, and that shielding children from it can hinder their development. She provides examples of how allowing children to experience failure in various situations, such as being mean to a friend or missing school due to being late, can help them learn valuable lessons about responsibility, consequences, and self-regulation.

00:07:58
Navigating Difficult Moments and Trusting Children

This Chapter explores the challenges of letting children fail in specific situations, particularly when it comes to interpersonal conflicts. Michelle addresses the concerns parents might have about their children's behavior and the potential for negative consequences. She emphasizes the importance of trusting children to navigate these situations themselves, even when it means experiencing difficult moments. Michelle encourages parents to avoid intervening or offering solutions, instead focusing on providing support and empathy. She argues that this approach allows children to learn from their mistakes and develop their own problem-solving skills.

00:11:58
Connected Parenting vs. Permissive Parenting

This Chapter draws a distinction between connected parenting and permissive parenting. Michelle argues that connected parenting involves allowing children to experience hardship and learn from their mistakes, while permissive parenting shields them from challenges. She emphasizes the importance of being present and supportive during these difficult times, rather than simply avoiding them. Michelle encourages parents to embrace empathy, ask probing questions, and trust their children's ability to learn and grow from their experiences.

Keywords

Connected Parenting


A parenting approach that emphasizes building a strong emotional connection with children, fostering open communication, and encouraging independence. It focuses on understanding children's emotions, providing support and guidance, and allowing them to learn from their experiences, including failures.

Resilience


The ability to bounce back from adversity, challenges, and setbacks. It involves developing coping mechanisms, emotional regulation skills, and a positive outlook. Resilience is essential for navigating life's challenges and achieving success.

Self-Sufficiency


The ability to take care of oneself and manage one's own affairs independently. It involves developing essential life skills, such as problem-solving, decision-making, and responsibility. Self-sufficiency is crucial for becoming a well-rounded and independent individual.

Failure


A negative outcome or unsuccessful attempt. In the context of parenting, failure is often seen as a learning opportunity, allowing children to develop resilience, problem-solving skills, and a growth mindset. It is important to approach failure with empathy and support, rather than punishment or criticism.

Overprotective Parenting


A parenting style characterized by excessive concern for a child's safety and well-being, often leading to over-involvement and a lack of independence. Overprotective parenting can hinder a child's development of resilience, self-sufficiency, and problem-solving skills.

Empathy


The ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. Empathy is essential for building strong relationships, resolving conflicts, and providing support during difficult times. It involves actively listening, acknowledging emotions, and offering compassion.

Michelle


The host of the Peace and Parenting podcast. Michelle is a parenting expert and author who shares her insights and experiences on raising children in a connected and supportive manner.

Peace and Parenting Podcast


A podcast dedicated to providing parents with practical advice and support on raising children in a peaceful and nurturing environment. The podcast covers a wide range of topics related to parenting, including discipline, communication, emotional regulation, and building strong family relationships.

Q&A

  • Why is it important to let children fail?

    Letting children fail allows them to learn from their mistakes, develop resilience, and become more self-sufficient. It helps them understand the consequences of their actions and develop problem-solving skills.

  • How can parents support their children when they fail?

    Parents can support their children by providing empathy, asking probing questions, and trusting them to find their own solutions. Avoid intervening or offering solutions unless absolutely necessary.

  • What are some examples of situations where parents can let their children fail?

    Examples include allowing children to experience the consequences of being late for school, being mean to a friend, or making a mistake on a project. It's important to choose situations where the potential consequences are manageable and where the child can learn from the experience.

  • How does letting children fail differ from permissive parenting?

    Connected parenting, which involves letting children fail, differs from permissive parenting in that it emphasizes support and guidance during challenging times. Permissive parenting, on the other hand, avoids any form of hardship or consequence, which can hinder a child's development.

  • What are some potential benefits of letting children fail?

    Benefits include increased resilience, self-sufficiency, problem-solving skills, and a stronger sense of responsibility. It also helps children develop a growth mindset, understanding that mistakes are opportunities for learning and growth.

Show Notes

Ever wonder if letting your kids fail could actually be the best thing for them? Today, we're diving into the counterintuitive but transformative idea that failure is not only okay but necessary. Join me as I explore why allowing our children to stumble, make mistakes, and experience the natural consequences of their actions in a safe and supportive environment is a cornerstone of connected parenting.


I’ll share practical ways to shift from overprotective habits to fostering independence and learn how to hold space for your children's emotions without rushing in to fix everything. This episode is a must-listen for parents ready to embrace a new approach that empowers their kids to grow into capable, confident individuals.


In this Episode

  • Why letting children fail helps them grow
  • Creating a safe space for failure
  • How to avoid overprotection and emotional shielding
  • Embracing failure for deeper learning
  • Understanding failures in interpersonal relationships
  • The balance between intervention and natural consequences


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What You Need to Do When Your Kids Make a Mistake

What You Need to Do When Your Kids Make a Mistake

Michelle Kenney, M. Ed