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In this Sex with Emily episode, Dr. Emily and producer Erica dive into your questions about sex and relationships.

A woman who's been living with her partner for over a year and can't stand his unsexy pecks on the lips anymore—why moving in together kills sexual tension and the surprising move she needs to make instead of waiting for him to change.

The listener who ended a relationship because their partner refused to give oral sex—why sexual dealbreakers are valid and the one question Dr. Emily wishes she'd asked before walking away.

A man in England with a specific fetish whose girlfriend gets "nasty and defensive" every time he tries to talk about sex—the cultural shame around sex talk that's blocking exploration and whether therapy books can replace actual therapy.

Why "I don't want to seem pushy" is code for "we have a communication problem"—and the difference between a fantasy you'd like to explore and a fetish that's a requirement for arousal.

The real reason your partner gets defensive when you bring up sex (spoiler: it's not about you).


Timestamps:

0:00 - Intro

3:14 - Why Living Together Kills Sexual Tension (And How to Fix It)

8:43 - Dating Someone with Herpes: What You Need to Know

10:32 - The Truth About Herpes Transmission and Risk

15:00 - My Partner Won't Give Oral: Should I Break Up?

17:43 - How to Have the Difficult Oral Sex Conversation

21:56 - When Your Partner Won't Explore Your Fetish

23:15 - Defensiveness in Sex Talks: Red Flag or Fixable?

25:54 - When Sexual Incompatibility Becomes a Deal Breaker