Starting in childhood, everyone develops a system for meeting the 6 Human Needs and also a system of beliefs of what must happen for their needs to be met.

Once you understand these patterns, which become very easy to see with some practice, you can make conscious decisions on which need you want to favor from now on.
The 6 Human Needs are the most effective way to track the level of happiness and fulfillment in any human relationship. When you understand how a person satisfies their most important needs, you understand what brings them pleasure or pain.