Winding Down

So vast
This Expanse
The moon surface
Of my mind

Lamp-light frames the snow
And we go
Deeper into that gentle night

Which is blind to the past
The roles we’ve been cast
The dreams that have been denied

Chorus:
Winding down
The lights flicker in town
Then they die
They die
They die

I have no illusions
I’m paid to entertain the delusions
Of the hierarchies and their disaffected
Sons
Conditioned to think creative work
Represents a nobler birth
In our country of bibles and guns

But I’m hardly cynical
In fact, I’m quite equivocal
About my replenishing of funds

Chorus

And your eyes are a respite
Though we may fight
About what you call my
Callous attitude

We have our bench and pond
The graceful sense of being beyond
Each other’s disappointment or gratitude

Yet you feel so acutely my fear
That I had a life that disappeared
Like a flight lost at cruising altitude

Chorus

From where does this bitterness come?
You live a dream, that’s supposed to be freedom
Instead I’m the absence of joy
In the state at large

The teenage girl crying on her birthday
Her businessman father with nothing to say
The mother hardened by too many days in charge

At least my students believe in writing
And you leave me alone with my faulty wiring
Like my father drinking alone in the garage

Chorus

Summertime now and I could leave
Then its winter again and I’ve begun to grieve
And in autumn my mother didn’t provide
Any indication

When you talk about next January
My madness feels almost sanitary
Maybe I just need a good, warm vacation

You say I’m doing great, I’ve got it together
I look like a knight in this coal black sweater
Kiss me on the forehead
Because we've arrived at our station