“Worst Marriage Advice Ever?” by @Kaala► Join the...
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“Worst Marriage Advice Ever?” by @Kaala
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Before I get to the some of the worst marriage advice I’ve ever heard I’m going to start out by telling you the best. Ready? Here it is:
Put God first.
Amazing, eh? Depending on your original position you’re either saying, “Uh, huh. Yep! Amen!” or “That’s it?? That’s all you got??
Absolutely. And when you hear the worst advice I think this will be even more amazing.
The first one is a father’s advice to a friend of mine. He told her,
*"If you want a better marriage lower your expectations.”*
I guess it depends on your goals here so if a mediocre, just getting by, blah relationship is your target than that’s all you–lower away.
If however, you’re wanting a deep, loving, real relationship than lowering your expectations isn’t going to cut it.
Can you imagine a coach giving a Superbowl pregame talk and saying, “C'mon team. Don’t aim too high here. Just be satisfied that you’ve made it this far.
Don’t expect to win, don’t want to win, don’t want the best for yourself and this team!” Alright? Go get ‘em!
The solution is NOT lowered expectations as much as it’s increased and improved communications. BUT there has to be a shared vision for this team to work. BOTH players have to want the best for the relationship. If they don’t that’s a different story.
The second piece of horrible advice was given to my wife years ago at a “Pastor’s Wives Meeting.” She was told flat out
“Just do *it*.”
It?
“It” as in sex. Just get “IT” done. Close your eyes, tough it out. “It” will be over soon. I guess if you’re all about procreation this would work.
But the bible speaks of sexual union as a not just a physical but also a spiritual joining together towards one-ness. It’s a beautiful intimacy that God created to be good and if it’s not something’s wrong. If it’s not pleasurable for both of you something is wrong.
I do agree that sometimes people are just not in the mood for “it” and that’s understandable. But a chronic lack of physical intimacy leads to a chronic lack of emotional intimacy.
The last one for now is one of the best of the worst. A single guy at work told a friend of ours
“Hey, don’t think that marriage lasts forever.”
Can you set yourself up better for failure than going into a marriage with the thought that it’s disposable? Uh, oh. Something’s wrong here. This isn’t working like how I expected. Time to get a new one. Craziness.
Yes relationships take work, yes they require commitment and effort. If that’s not what you believe than you’re selling yourself short and missing out on the beauty of marriage that God intended
The bible says that the
“…two will become one.”
That is the goal, that’s the target and it’s not physically possible. Can’t be done. With God all things are possible. Without God as a foundation in the relationship, our marriage is built on shifting sands and you two will NEVER become ONE. And that’s why God needs to be first.
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