Better Relationships After Baby

Becoming a dad after a baby arrives can shake a man to his core. In this episode, Mike opens up to share fears, emotions, and invisible battles many fathers face in the postpartum season. From feeling like they’re on the outside looking in, to wondering if they’re enough, we unpack what’s really going on behind the quiet moments and unspoken worries.We explore why presence matters more than perfection, how provision without connection can feel like absence, and what it looks like for dads to build their own parenting playbook. Whether you’re a new father, a partner trying to understand him, or someone supporting a growing family, this conversation will give you insight into the emotional landscape of modern fatherhood and how dads can thrive, not just survive, in this new role.Listen if you’ve ever wondered:Why dads often feel disconnected after a babyHow to bridge emotional gaps between partnersWhat it takes to feel confident as a new fatherWhy being present matters more than doing it allIf you’ve ever felt like you’re doing everything you can for your family but still wondering if it’s enough, you’re not alone.A quick connection call can help you figure out what’s really going on under the surface and how to start feeling like a team again.Book your free call here, and let’s talk about what support could look like for you two.Keywords: fatherhood, postpartum, emotional connection, presence, family dynamics, inadequacy, parenting challenges, support for dads, mental load, parenting playbook

In this second part of The Stories We Tell Ourselves series, Chelsea and Mike get into how the stories we carry in early parenthood shape connection, intimacy, and identity.They unpack why emotional disconnection and constant stress make couples feel distant, how to rebuild psychological safety, and why nervous-system regulation is key to closeness.You’ll learn:How to externalize negative stories and stop the spiral of resentmentWhat “matrescence” and “patrescence” really mean for your identity as parentsWhy emotional safety is the foundation for physical intimacy after a babyPractical ways to reconnect and repair when you’re both running on emptyWhether you’re feeling stuck in survival mode or missing the spark in your marriage, this episode offers real talk and practical tools to help you feel like a team again.Keywords: emotional disconnection after baby, intimacy after baby, postpartum marriage help, matrescence, new parent identity, nervous system regulation, relationship coaching, postpartum relationship adviceMentioned past episodes and links: Regulation and the Nervous SystemEmotional or Physical Connection, Which Comes First?MatresenceBook a connection call with us here to learn more about how we support pregnant, postpartum, and current parents in their relationships.

Conflict after a baby is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to break your relationship. In this episode, Chelsea and Mike go deeper than their Babies & Bumps workshop to unpack the real difference between couples who thrive and those who drift apart: Repair.You’ll hear:Why conflict itself doesn’t predict divorce, but failure to repair does (thanks, John Gottman).How rupture in relationships is like a muscle tear — painful, but with repair, it builds strength.The dangerous stories we tell ourselves about our partners and the antidote of curiosity.Practical tools like code words, repair steps, and “the story I’m telling myself…” to stop resentment from spiraling.Why humility and vulnerability matter more than being right.If you’ve ever felt like parenting is heavier because you’re not on the same team or you want to make sure your teamwork is solid before the baby arrives, this episode is for you.🔗 Links & Resources Mentioned:The Invisible Load: How to See it, Share it + Stop Resentment Before it StartsYou Can't Fix a Relationship From Fight or Flight: Conflict, Co-Regulation + Repair Prep for Us Coaching — October Cohort Interest Call

When your newborn goes to the NICU, nothing feels “normal.” In this honest conversation, author and creative director Emily Rosen shares the 16-day NICU journey with her son Max, the grief of leaving the hospital without your baby, and the small lifelines that help you keep going. We talk day-to-day NICU rhythms, supporting partners, what friends can actually do, and why Emily wrote Waiting for Max—a children’s book that helps siblings (and grown-ups) understand NICU life with hope, not fear. If you’re in it now or love someone who is, this one’s for you.Preorder: Waiting for Max Connect with Emily: Instagram @EmilyRosenCreative TikTok @Emily.Rosen.CreativeGuest: Emily Rosen — author of Waiting for Max, creative director, mom of two.Topics we cover:The moment plans change: premature labor, fast decisions, and naming laterWhat a “normal” NICU day looks like (feeds, skin-to-skin, rounds, notes)The partner dance: care, tears, pancakes, and trying to sleepWhat to say (and not say) to NICU parentsTiny practical love: Venmo, freezable food, pump-part helpSelf-compassion after birth trauma + letting go of “should”How Waiting for Max helps siblings process scary environmentsHope for the mom in the uncomfortable hospital chairBook launch details + why representation of NICU stories mattersTimestamps00:39 Intro + Chelsea’s NICU story02:19 Meet Emily + family03:49 Max’s birth + 16 days in NICU (SVT, feeding/growing)06:39 Why write Waiting for Max + who it’s for10:27 What those early hours really felt like14:09 A “typical” NICU day: feeds, hand-washing, rounds16:29 Partnering through stress, pancakes, and naps19:38 How friends can help (specifics that matter)21:32 Therapy, self-blame, and compassion23:39 Deciding to write the book26:46 The lobby moment + grief of not going home together31:38 A message to the mom in the chair33:33 Sunshine, short walks, tiny resets34:30 Where to find the book + who it helps39:15 Max today: DJ, dance parties, tender big brother40:34 What’s next: a “Waiting for…” series (surrogacy story)Schedule a connection call with Chelsea: Calendly.com/chelseaskaggs/connection-call

Ever feel like your brain has 27 tabs open—and none of them can close? That’s the invisible load of parenthood: The endless mental and emotional labor that keeps a family running but often falls on one parent without ever being named.In this episode, Chelsea and Mike break down:What the invisible load actually looks like in early parenthood (hint: it’s more than chores)Why it so often falls unequally, even in good partnershipsThe cycle of resentment it creates when it stays hiddenA simple 3-step framework—See it. Say it. Slay it.—to start redistributing the weight todayWhether you’re pregnant and wondering how to prepare, or already in the thick of diapers and daycare forms, this conversation will help you shift from scorekeeping to true teamwork.👉 Listen in, grab our free Mental Load Brain Dump Template (your new reset button), and if you’re ready to go deeper, book a Connection Call with us to talk about the kind of relationship you want to build.invisible load, mental load, cognitive labor, parental burnout, postpartum marriage, communication after baby, emotional labor, default parent, resentment in relationships, sharing household labor, postpartum relationship help, new parents support, relationship coaching, better after baby, parenting teamwork, marriage after kids, postpartum couples counseling, how to share the mental load, overwhelmed mom, dad involvement after baby

Tired of having the same fight on repeat with your partner? One of you wants to hash it out right now, the other goes silent, and suddenly you’re not even arguing about the actual issue anymore. You’re arguing about how you argue. Sound familiar?In this episode, Chelsea and Mike break down processing styles in marriage after baby—external vs. internal processors—and why these differences get louder when you’re tired, stressed, and stretched thin as new parents. You’ll hear how this dynamic showed up in their own relationship, why stress and flooding make small clashes spiral, and the simple tools couples can use to break the demand–withdraw cycle.Whether you’re an exhausted parent feeling stuck in the same arguments or a couple who wants to grow stronger after baby, this conversation will help you:Understand your own processing style (and your partner’s).Recognize the nervous system’s role in miscommunication.Use 4 practical tools to calm conflict and reconnect as a team.Because your baby deserves parents who don’t just survive parenthood, but thrive together.Book an connection call with us: CalendlyGet our go to questions for a 5-min daily check-in: 5 Questions to Stay Connected to Your Partner — Chelsea Skaggs Coaching👉 Tune in now and start building healthier communication in your marriage after baby.marriage after babycommunication after babyparenting and marriagecommunication styles in relationshipsdemand withdraw cycleinternal vs external processorcommunication breakdown in marriagenew parents communicationmarriage struggles after babyparenting stress and marriagepostpartum marriage struggleshow couples communicateconflict in marriage after kidsprocessing styles in marriagecommunication tools for coupleswhy couples fight after having a babyhow to improve marriage communication as parentspractical tools for better communication after babyhow stress impacts communication in marriageparenting, marriage, and communication tipscommunication hacks for new parents

Early parenthood has a way of putting every crack in your relationship under a spotlight. In this candid conversation, Chelsea and Mike pull back the curtain on the pain points they faced after having kids and the lessons they wish they’d learned sooner. From buried baggage that resurfaces under pressure to communication breakdowns and the mental load that nearly pulled them apart, they share the struggles, the breakthroughs, and the hope that comes with learning to work as a team.If you’ve ever thought, “Why didn’t anyone tell us it would be this hard?” this episode is for you. You’ll walk away with real-life insights and tools to help you save some heartache and start building the kind of connection that lasts through sleepless nights, identity shifts, and big transitions.ResourcesLearn more about our 6-Week Relationship Coaching Program: postpartumtogether.com/welcomeGrab your free Postpartum Planning Checklist: postpartumtogether.com/postpartum-planningBook a Connection Call with Chelsea: calendly.com/chelseaskaggs/connection-callPS: If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend who’s in the trenches of early parenthood. And if you loved it, please take a moment to leave a 5-star review — it helps more couples find the support they need to thrive, not just survive, after baby.

Are you constantly saying “yes” when you really want to say “no”?In this episode, Chelsea and Mike get honest about people-pleasing, the “eldest daughter” martyr mindset, and how overstuffed calendars and invisible expectations quietly drain your marriage and family life.Together, they share how learning to set boundaries, stop overscheduling, and get clear on your values (instead of everyone else’s rules) can completely change the tone of your home. You’ll hear real stories about:Why saying no feels impossible (and why it matters for your marriage)How filling every blank space on your calendar sabotages connectionWhat happens when you stop living by other people’s rules and start living by your family valuesSimple practices that help couples create more rest, joy, and clarityIf you’ve ever felt stretched thin, stuck in “good mom” or “good spouse” mode, or unsure how to align as a family, this episode will give you a refreshing and practical perspective.✨ Want to go deeper? Join Chelsea and Mike’s Rewrite the Rules Workshop — a live, donation-based virtual event designed to help you uncover your core family values and use them as your compass for time, energy, and money decisions. Reserve your spot in the next workshop here: Postpartum Together EventsLearn more about Postpartum Together Coaching

On this off-the-cuff parenting podcast episode, Chelsea and Mike get real about fatherhood, parenting grief, and the pressure to be present.From crying at the bus stop to reflecting on kids growing up and what it means for your marriage, this conversation covers micro-griefs in parenting, dads and emotions, and communication in parenting.If you’re a mom or dad navigating parenting transitions and wanting to build stronger parent connection in your relationship, you’ll find yourself nodding along.🔗 Book your free parent connection call here: calendly.com/chelseaskaggs/connection-call🎥 And here’s the Kitty High Five we mention: Kitty High Five

Motherhood was never meant to be a solo act.In this episode, Chelsea sits down with Stephanie Fornaro, founder of Hello Nanny, to talk about why accepting help isn’t a weakness, it’s wisdom.We explore the emotional, relational, and practical layers of building your support system, from financial independence and partnership dynamics to the difference between nannies and family assistants. Stephanie shares her personal journey of overcoming guilt around getting help, and how her mission is empowering parents to thrive, not just survive.Whether you’re navigating postpartum, juggling toddlers, or simply craving more presence in your parenting, this conversation is your permission slip to drop the “do it all” mindset and start creating your own village.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:Why accepting help is a strength, not a failureHow financial independence impacts your relationshipThe difference between a nanny and a family assistant (and why it matters)How to build a support system that fits your family’s valuesThe role of one-on-one time with your kids in a busy seasonOvercoming the guilt of asking for helpResources & Links:Connect with Stephanie on the Hello Nanny siteFollow Hello Nanny on Instagram: @hellonannydotcomLearn more about relationship coaching after baby with Chels + Mike at Postpartum TogetherFollow Postpartum Together on Instagram: @postpartumtogether

Is your stress response a sign you're failing, or a sign you're human?In this episode, Chelsea and Mike get real about what stress is actually trying to tell us and how it impacts connection in relationships. We'll explore how everyday tension can become a source of strength if we know how to come back to safety, together.You’ll hear:The psychology of rupture and repair—and why it matters more than “getting it right”Why we break down when one person tries to carry the emotional load for bothHow friendship, co-regulation, and nervous system safety are deeply linkedPlus, the one question that can transform your relationships:“Do you have the capacity for this?”If you’ve been stuck in reactive conversations, missed signals, or simmering resentment, the first step back to each other might be simpler than you think.🎁 Download the Reconnection Kit—with 8 free communication scripts—to make your next hard conversation easier (and more productive).Learn more about working with us here.nervous system regulationco-regulation in relationshipsstress and resilience psychologywhy community matters for mental healthpostpartum nervous systemrepair after relationship conflict

“Let’s just figure it all out right now…”You’ve said it. Or your partner has. And before you know it, it’s 10:30pm, you’re in survival mode, and the ‘solution’ turns into another fight.In this episode of Better Relationships After Baby, Chelsea and Mike get honest about why trying to fix your relationship during fight-or-flight doesn’t work and what to do instead.You’ll learn:What happens in your brain and body during conflictWhy “just talking it out” often backfiresThe neuroscience behind repair and regulationHow to pause a fight without ignoring itTools you can use to come back together in a healthier, more connected wayThis is the next step after last week’s viral episode on feeling touched out. Together, they unpack what stress really does to our relationships and how to build safety, repair, and teamwork in the hard moments.“You can’t fix a relationship in fight-or-flight. But you can come back stronger.”🎧 Missed last week’s episode? Listen to: ⁠Touched Out: What Your Nervous System Is Trying to Tell You⁠🔄 Reconnection Kit for Couples: ⁠Download Here⁠💬 Work with Chelsea & Mike: ⁠Coaching Options⁠References:Gottman Institute: Physiological Self-Soothing During ConflictNIH Study: Stress and Marital CommunicationKeywords:fight or flight in relationshipsrelationship repair after conflictnervous system and conflict resolutionpostpartum relationship strugglesco-regulation for coupleshow to stop fighting with your partnerstress and communication in marriageparenting and relationship stressemotional disconnection in relationshipsnervous system dysregulation and intimacy

Ever felt like you want a connection, but the thought of one more person touching you makes your skin crawl?You’re not cold. You’re not broken. You might just be touched out.In this episode, Chelsea and Mike dig into what’s really happening when physical affection feels like too much, especially in the postpartum season. Using Polyvagal Theory as a framework, they explore how your nervous system responds to chronic stress, the mental load, and overstimulation.They talk about:Why being touched out is not just a mom thing (though it hits moms hard)The science behind why your body says “no” even when your heart says “yes”How to recognize when your nervous system is in shutdown or high alertThe power of co-regulation (and why it’s more effective than just pushing through)Tools that help you reconnect even if you only have five minutesThis isn’t about fixing your partner. It’s about understanding yourself, offering compassion, and having new language to break old cycles.Want to dive deeper into the science?👉 Link to Dr. Sarah’s podcast with Dr. Stephen Porges's teamReady for simple ways to rebuild connection at home?👉 Link to the Reconnection Kit for CouplesCurious about the card deck we mentioned?👉 Link to Love Lingual CardsThis episode is for anyone who’s ever felt close, but also miles apart, and wants a better way back to each other.

You’re in the same room, but it feels like miles apart.You love your partner, but you feel more like co-managers than a couple.Sound familiar?In this episode, Chelsea and Mike get real about the signs of emotional disconnection that show up after having a baby, often quietly and gradually. From scorekeeping and silence to intimacy struggles and the nervous system overload no one warns you about, they unpack what drifting apart really looks like and why it’s not a sign you’re broken.If you’re sitting on opposite ends of the couch, wondering how you got here—or how to get back—this episode is for you.You’ll hear:How emotional disconnect shows up in everyday lifeWhy resentment and avoidance don’t mean you’ve “fallen out of love”Tools to start reconnecting without pressure or blameA powerful reframe: “The story I’m telling myself is…”📥 Grab the free Conversation Starters for Tired Parents: https://postpartumtogether.com/communication-scripts💬 Want our help rebuilding together? Join our 6-week couples coaching program: https://postpartumtogether.com/welcomeYou’re not alone. And you don’t have to stay disconnected.Tell us what you thought of the episode: chelsea@postpartumtogether.com

When the world feels like it’s burning politically, socially, & emotionally, what do we do as parents? In this episode, Chelsea and Mike get honest about what it means to raise kids in today’s tense climate and why your home might just be the most powerful place of resistance.From stress-induced doomscrolling to boundary-setting in your own house, they unpack how overwhelmed couples can protect their peace, raise emotionally intelligent kids, and reclaim joy as an act of radical parenting. This conversation explores:The hidden toll of always being “informed”How to parent with purpose when you're burned outWhy joy and connection are survival tools for familiesWhat it means to use your privilege without burnoutReal talk on relationship tension, social media pressure, and choosing fun on purposeWhether you’re at a protest or simply trying to keep your home a refuge, this episode is your reminder: You are doing something powerful just by raising kind kids in a heavy world.💬 Let us know what resonated most. And if you're looking for tools to lighten the load, grab our Mental Load List Template.If you're wanting to create a home environment of refuge, but your tension with your partner is getting in the way, let's talk about how our guided couples' support can help you make it a reality.

<<GET THE FREE MENTAL LOAD LIST TEMPLATE: ⁠https://chelseaskaggs.kit.com/9116bb8436⁠>>Once we learned about the mental load, we thought we were on the same page. But that first conversation? It brought up more frustration than clarity. In this episode, we share how our first attempt to talk about the mental load went sideways, the common mistakes couples make in these moments, and the small shifts that helped us move from blame to real teamwork.Whether you're just learning about the mental load or you've tried bringing it up (and hit a wall), this episode gives you real talk, relatable moments, and practical ways to start the conversation again — with more connection and less conflict.This episode is audio from a live chat between Chels + Mike. Should we start a "Mornings with Chels and Mike" segment? Let us know!

<https://chelseaskaggs.kit.com/9116bb8436>>For the first 4 years of our parenting journey, we didn’t know what the mental load was, let alone how deeply it was impacting our connection, our communication, and our resentment.In this honest conversation, we share what our relationship looked like before we had the words, how the invisible labor kept building tension, and what shifted when we finally named it.Whether you're new to the idea of the mental load or you're trying to help your partner understand it, this episode gives you language, validation, and a behind-the-scenes look at how one small vocabulary change can create big relational shifts.🔗 Mentioned in this episode:Our Reconnection Kit for CouplesReconnect in Just 10 Minutes a Day Pre-Baby Relationship Bluepring CoachingRelationship Coaching for Expecting Parents: Prepare to Stay Connected After BabyLet’s talk about the invisible work, the unspoken pressure, and how to stop acting like roommates.<⁠https://chelseaskaggs.kit.com/9116bb8436⁠>>

From postpartum rage to career stress to spiritual deconstruction, we’ve walked through some serious identity earthquakes and nearly walked away from our marriage. We know what it’s like to sit in silence at the end of a long day, feeling more like roommates than partners. To wonder if things will ever feel good again. To carry the mental load, the emotional labor, and the resentment that builds when no one talks about what’s really going on after the baby.This conversation kicks off a new chapter in our marriage, in our business, and on this podcast. We’re sharing the honest truth about the hard seasons, the awkward conversations, the near misses... and the daily work it took to move from disconnection to reconnection.Whether you’re in the newborn fog, navigating toddler chaos, or just feeling like the spark is gone, this episode is your reminder that you’re not alone, and it is possible to find your way back.💡 Inside this episode:What nearly ended our marriage — and what helped us stayHow spiritual and identity shifts reshaped our relationshipWhy we’re no longer afraid of the messy middleThe power of rebuilding teamwork and intimacy — even years later✨ NEW: Get our free Reconnection Kit for Couples — practical tools to help you rebuild emotional intimacy and get on the same page again (without needing hours of free time or a perfect mood).👉 www.postpartumtogether.com/spark-cards🎉 Meet Mike: This episode also marks the official welcome of Mike as a business partner at Postpartum Together and co-leader of our mission to help couples create better relationships after baby. You’ll hear more from both of us on this show and in our coaching work as we serve couples who are ready to stop surviving and start growing again.🔔 Follow for more: Subscribe to the Better Relationships After Baby podcast and follow us @PostpartumTogether for weekly tools, convos, and connection to support your real-life relationship.📩Get on our email list for weekly tips: https://chelseaskaggs.kit.com/74eecf429d

If your emotional hangover keeps crashing your good days, or your confidence lives and dies by your partner’s mood… we need to talk. This one’s coming in hot with equal parts spicy and supportive. In this tough love episode, I'm channeling my no-BS grandma to call out three common ways women self-sabotage in relationships and life:Expecting the good to fall apartHanding your power over to your partnerHiding your insecurity behind "busy"If you’ve ever felt like you’re stuck in a loop of doing the same things and expecting different results, this episode is your wake-up call and your warm hug. We’re not here to stay small. We’re here to break cycles and expand our capacity for more joy, connection, and confidence. Let’s go.If you recognized yourself in any of this, it’s time to stop circling the same drain. Book a clarity coaching call and let’s get you unstuck, because the patterns aren’t going to change unless you do something different.www.calendly.com/chelseaskaggs/coaching-exploration

Feel like you're the only one trying to keep the conversation (and the relationship) alive? In this episode, Chelsea Skaggs breaks down how to get your partner to open up and communicate—without nagging, resentment, or repeating yourself 100 times. We’ll talk about why your partner may be emotionally shut down, how gender conditioning plays a role in communication breakdowns, and how to use curiosity, timing, and real-life scripts to shift the dynamic in your relationship.If you’re craving deeper connection, less defensiveness, and way fewer one-sided convos—this episode is for you.💬 Topics include:Why your partner might be shutting down emotionallyHow to stop the resentment spiral before it startsWhat actually works to create real, honest conversationEasy scripts you can try todayAnd how curiosity can totally change your dynamicGrab Chelsea’s free Communication Scripts for Couples here: Communication Upgrade Scripts | Enhance Communication Today — Chelsea Skaggs Coachingcommunication in marriagehow to get your partner to talkrelationship communication tipsstop nagging your husbandemotional connection in marriagebetter communication with partnerhow to talk to your spousemarriage advice for womenresentment in relationshipsgender roles and communicationemotional labor in marriagehealthy communication strategiescommunication scripts for couplescuriosity in relationshipshow to stop one-sided conversations