Transforming 45

We were taught to keep going. Work hard. Be useful. Be pleasant. Find a way to make it all fit. A lot of us got very good at that. We also got very good at hiding how much it took. In this episode of Transforming 45, I’m joined by Erin Wong, a former tech executive and the founder of Thriving Minds at Work. We talk about what happens when the demands of midlife meet changing capacity, and why women who have managed for years may start asking new questions about ADHD, burnout and the way their brains work. We get into the effort of masking, the grief that can arrive alongside change, and the pressure to measure our worth by what we get done. Erin also shares a practical way to think about restoration: finding things that give something back to you, whether you have a minute or a whole afternoon. In this conversation: Erin’s move from a corporate career into executive function coaching. The overlapping demands of work, parenting, caregiving and midlife change. Shame, burnout and the feeling that you did everything you were supposed to do. Why a conversation about getting organised can also be a conversation about rest and self-compassion. Questions about ADHD that can surface in midlife, and the importance of professional assessment. Masking, belonging and the different levels of safety people have at work. Finding restorative activities that suit your life and the time you actually have. Looking more closely at the discomfort that can come with choosing rest. Asking for help and talking about a difficult day without sharing more than you want to. Chapters 00:00 Taking off the mask in midlife01:16 Meet Erin Wong02:17 From corporate burnout to supporting women03:47 Perimenopause, executive function and midlife overload08:07 “I checked every box. Why am I not happy?”11:12 Why being busy can keep us from feeling16:39 Why women start questioning ADHD in midlife18:09 When your coping strategies stop working20:31 Sponsor: Dotty Clothing21:43 Why ADHD gets missed in girls and women23:28 Masking, rejection and showing up at work26:23 Who am I underneath the mask?29:34 Rethinking productivity, rest and restoration33:14 Is it guilt—or discomfort?34:01 One small step when you’re overwhelmed36:05 How to talk about a hard day at work38:29 Closing takeaways: compassion, rest and joy A place to begin: Think of one thing that leaves you feeling a little more like yourself. How much time does it need? A minute, five minutes, twenty minutes? Start a small list you can return to on the days when choosing feels hard. About Erin: Erin Wong is a former tech executive and the founder of Thriving Minds at Work, an executive function coaching company. She works with women navigating challenges including ADHD, burnout and the menopause transition, helping them build sustainable ways to get organised, stay focused and manage work and home life. Her approach draws on more than twenty years in the corporate world and her own midlife experience. Connect with Erin: Website: https://www.thrivingmindsatwork.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/erin-wong-%E2%98%95-6102a316/ Book a conversation: https://calendly.com/erin-thrivingmindsatwork/30min Free Overwhelm Reset Guide (email signup; joins Erin’s community): https://www.thrivingmindsatwork.com/lm-overwhelm-rest Newsletter: https://www.thrivingmindsatwork.com/sub-to-comm-lp Paid journal: https://www.thrivingmindsatwork.com/journal Connect with Lisa: Website: https://liberatedmenopause.ca/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lboate/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Transforming45 Follow Transforming 45 in your listening app, or subscribe on YouTube. If this conversation brings someone to mind, send it her way. Content note: This conversation includes burnout, grief, masking, trauma responses and mental health. Erin is an executive function coach, not a clinician providing diagnosis in this episode. The conversation is educational and does not provide individual medical advice. Changes in attention, memory or mood deserve appropriate assessment; a podcast cannot tell you whether you have ADHD. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when menopause symptoms start changing what you can manage at work, and getting help becomes another job? Trish Barbato had spent years working toward a leadership goal. When the opportunity arrived, menopause symptoms and difficulty getting care stood in the way. That experience helped bring her to the work she now does as Co-Founder and Director of the Menopause Foundation of Canada. Trish joins me on Transforming 45 after we shared a stage at Queen’s Park. We talk about what women carry when care is hard to access, how workplace rules can make an already difficult day worse, and why employers need to understand the experience and knowledge they risk losing. We walk through the Foundation’s seven policy priorities, covering provider education, equitable care, physician payment, treatment access, research, workplace support and public awareness. We also talk about practical changes employers can make now, including reviewing existing policies and making room for basic needs such as washroom access. I share an experience from my years in the classroom that still makes me angry. Women have been expected to keep going through circumstances that deserve a much more humane response. This conversation is part of the advocacy I want more people to hear as menopause policy moves into public debate. If it resonates, listen, share it, and use the Foundation’s letter campaign to tell your elected representatives why this matters to you. Listeners will take away How gaps in menopause care can affect career choices and financial security. What the seven policy priorities ask governments to address. Why education and small workplace changes can make support more accessible. How to add a personal story to a letter to elected representatives. Connect with the Menopause Foundation of Canada: Take action: https://menopausefoundationcanada.ca/change/ Read the agenda: https://menopausefoundationcanada.ca/mpac/ Sign the Free HRT in Ontario petition: https://freehrtontario.ca/ Connect with Lisa: https://liberatedmenopause.ca/ For workplace learning: https://link.flowi.io/widget/bookings/menoempower • Instagram @lboate Interested in beautiful Canadian made clothes? Head to dotty.ca This conversation discusses advocacy and lived experience. Treatment decisions need individual assessment with a qualified healthcare professional. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What parts of yourself have you learned to keep quiet? Voice coach, author and singer-songwriter Barbara McAfee joins Lisa Boate for a conversation about finding your voice in midlife, letting go of old expectations and making room for more of who you are. Barbara talks about the grief that can come with change, the fear of singing in front of other people and the lasting effect of being told your voice does not belong. We explore her five-element approach to vocal expression, what it means to be heard and how music can help us notice the people and moments we might otherwise pass by. There is humour here, and room for the hard stuff. A conversation for anyone getting curious about what she wants to say next. In this episode: Letting go of who you thought you were supposed to be Welcoming back the younger, wilder and less polished parts of yourself Grief, self-criticism and the expectations we carry into midlife Barbara’s experience of changing vocal capacity as she gets older Earth, fire, water, metal and air in her Five Elements Framework The story of a woman who sang happy birthday to her sons after years of believing she could not sing Camp songs, memory and the experience of singing together Barbara’s personal reframe for stage fright Making things we love and allowing ourselves to appreciate them Listening for someone’s intention as well as their words Chapters: 00:00 Preview and show intro 01:15 Welcome and introducing Barbara McAfee 01:40 Why women feel they lose their voice in midlife 03:46 Welcoming the parts of yourself you have kept quiet 05:06 Grief and the way we talk to ourselves 09:05 Letting go of the life you expected 11:38 Seeing the pattern in your life 13:41 A changing voice and room to play 16:39 Feeling safe enough to speak freely 16:55 Barbara’s five elements of vocal expression 18:27 How we respond to tone of voice 20:19 Dottie sponsor break 21:36 How our voices affect one another 23:12 The lasting impact of being told you cannot sing 24:45 Camp songs and the memories we carry 28:06 Why singing can feel so vulnerable 29:15 Barbara’s reframe for stage fright 32:13 Giving your wildness room 33:57 Appreciating what you create 35:21 Music and noticing the people around us 36:57 Rapid fire: water and a voice that keeps growing 37:58 What being heard really means 38:54 Where to connect with Barbara and closing About Barbara Barbara McAfee is a voice coach, author, keynote speaker and singer-songwriter with more than 30 years of experience in vocal coaching and performance. She is the author of Full Voice and Vocal Intelligence and the founder of the Morning Star Singers volunteer hospice choir. Connect with Barbara Website and coaching: https://www.barbaramcafee.com/ Books: https://www.barbaramcafee.com/store.html Five Elements practices: https://www.barbaramcafee.com/vocal-intelligence.html Music: https://barbaramcafee.bandcamp.com/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/mcafeemusic Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/barbaramcafeesings/ Connect with Lisa Website: https://liberatedmenopause.ca/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lboate/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Transforming45 Follow Transforming 45 in your listening app. If this conversation brings someone to mind, send it her way. Content note: This episode includes strong language and discussion of grief and death. Barbara shares her own experiences and approach to voice work. This conversation is not individual medical advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when the dream you worked for no longer fits—and the woman in the mirror begins to change too? In this episode of Transforming 45, Lisa sits down with Sway Brows founder Tanny Diep to talk about failure, burnout, beauty, business and the courage to reinvent yourself more than once. Tanny shares how being kicked out of college, selling door-to-door, working in fashion and completing an unexpected yoga teacher training shaped the artist, educator and entrepreneur she is today. The conversation goes far beyond permanent makeup. Lisa and Tanny explore the vulnerability of changing faces, the difference between beauty as performance and beauty as self-expression, and why confidence cannot be researched or perfectly planned—it has to be built through action This Episode Is About Why reinvention is rarely a straight line What rejection can teach us about resilience Recognizing when a once-right dream no longer fits The relationship between burnout, worth and identity Why beauty treatments can be an act of agency and self-connection How changes to our face and body can affect midlife confidence Building confidence through small, consistent action Creating a business rooted in service, freedom and meaningful work You’ll Hear: How Tanny recovered after losing a full scholarship and being kicked out of college Why door-to-door sales became unexpected training for entrepreneurship What fashion taught her about creativity, business and knowing when to leave How yoga helped her move from blame and burnout toward self-awareness The client experience that changed the way she understood permanent makeup Why eyebrows can be deeply connected to identity and self-recognition Why Tanny keeps returning to building, teaching and serving clients Tanny’s mind-body-spirit approach to rebuilding confidence The Big Takeaway: You are allowed to change the dream. This conversation offers room to reconsider work, beauty and success as your life changes, then begin with a small action that feels useful to you. About Tanny Diep: Tanny Diep is the founder of Sway Brows, a beauty entrepreneur, permanent makeup artist, educator and marketing mentor helping beauty professionals build profitable, scalable brands. After growing a multi-service beauty business specializing in permanent makeup for brows, lip blush, eyeliner and plasma skin rejuvenation, she now teaches artists to master both their craft and their marketing through training, coaching and practical business strategy. Connect with Tanny: Training and coaching: www.swaybrows.com Services studio: www.swayinked.com PMU supplies: www.theswaystore.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/swaybrows/ Connect with Lisa: Website: https://liberatedmenopause.ca Email: [email protected] Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lboate/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Come find me at the National Menopause Show, October 17–18, 2026, at the International Centre in Mississauga. I’ll be recording Transforming 45 from the show floor. Use TRANSFORM45 for 15% off tickets: https://nationalmenopauseshow.com/ Have you really lost your libido, or were you never given the space, language or permission to discover your desire in the first place? In this honest conversation, Lisa sits down with psychologist and sexual-health researcher Dr. Lori Brotto, author of Better Sex Through Mindfulness. Together, they unpack the myths women have inherited about desire and how exhaustion, stress, pain, medication and relationship context can shape our sexual lives. We talk about knowing your body, what menopause can change, preparing for conversations with a healthcare practitioner, and what to say when your concerns are dismissed. We also explore how partners can talk about sex without making one person responsible for fixing everything. Maybe pleasure in midlife begins with getting curious about who we are now. Sexual health is health, and this conversation gives us language for something many of us have carried quietly. What listeners will take away: Desire can depend on what is happening within us, around us and in our relationships. Knowing what feels good helps us communicate what we want. Pain, discomfort and changes in desire are legitimate topics for healthcare. A conversation with a partner can start with: “I heard something that made me curious about us.” Chapters: 00:00 Did we lose desire—or never get to know it? 01:33 What sexual desire actually is 03:13 Have I ever felt desire in my own skin? 06:33 What “I’ve lost my libido” can mean 08:34 Sex education, agency and inherited stories 12:38 Knowing your body and what feels good 15:10 Hormones, menopause and sexual comfort 17:38 Why a blood test cannot tell the whole story 18:58 Shame, self-discovery and support 22:32 Midlife women and the demand for better healthcare 27:22 Preparing to talk to your healthcare provider 28:42 Sexual health is health 30:15 Responding when your concerns are dismissed 31:53 Alcohol, sleep and arousal 33:40 Talking with a partner about timing and sex 35:53 How partners’ bodies and roles can change too 38:22 A first step toward sexual self-awareness 40:22 How to begin the conversation with your partner 41:08 What Lisa is taking away CONNECT WITH LORI Website and books: https://www.loribrotto.com/ Research lab: https://brottolab.med.ubc.ca/ CONNECT WITH LISA https://liberatedmenopause.ca/ Instagram: @lboate Transforming 45 is a space for honest conversations about midlife transformation. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices