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STDs: What Are They and How Do You [not] Get Them?By Everyday Health. Listen to the ► Podcast at How To Sex. This episode deals with the following STD concerns: Chlamydia, Genital Herpes, Gonorrhea, Hepatitis B, HIV, HPV, Molluscum Contagiosum, Syphilis, Trichomoniasis, Chlamydia, Genital Herpes, Gonorrhea, Hepatitis B, HIV, HPV, Molluscum Contagiosum, Syphilis, Trichomoniasis.The number of cases of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), now more commonly referred to as sexually transmitted infections (STI), in the United States hit an all-time high in 2019, according to data released on April 13, 2021, by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The CDC’s surveillance report shows that nearly 2.5 million new cases of gonorrhea, syphilis, and chlamydia were reported that year.Chlamydia remained the most common condition reported to the CDC, with close to 1.8 million cases, up 19 percent since 2015. Gonorrhea diagnoses reached 616,392, up 56 percent since 2015. And primary and secondary syphilis diagnoses reached 129,813, up 74 percent since 2015.Of high concern is that congenital syphilis cases, that is, syphilis in newborns, nearly quadrupled between 2015 and 2019, reaching 1,870 cases. From 2018 to 2019 the number of stillbirths caused by syphilis increased from 79 to 94, and the number of congenital syphilis-related infant deaths rose from 15 to 34 deaths.While the 2019 STD statistics reflect pre-COVID-19 pandemic numbers, preliminary data from 2020 suggests many of the same trends continued during the pandemic. Experts attribute some of the growth in STDs in 2020 to disruptions in STD testing and treatment programs caused by the pandemic.While 2.5 million cases of chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis may sound like a lot, it’s likely an undercount: Many people with these and other STDs, formerly known as venereal diseases, go undiagnosed and untreated. The CDC estimates that nearly 20 million new sexually transmitted infections occur every year, accounting for almost $16 billion in healthcare costs annually.Inequities in STD BurdensThe numbers of STDs increased in all age groups and among all racial and ethnic groups in 2019, according to CDC statistics. However, some groups saw higher rates of STDs than others:People ages 15 to 24 accounted for 61 percent of chlamydia cases and 42 percent of gonorrhea cases.Gay and bisexual men accounted for nearly half of all primary and secondary syphilis cases.Here’s what you need to know about how to spot, treat, and prevent STDs.What Is the Definition of an STD?“STDs are diseases that are passed from one person to another through sexual contact,” a representative of the CDC says.According to the CDC, some of the common STDs are chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV-2), human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), human papillomavirus (HPV), and syphilis. "Many of these STDs do not show symptoms for a long time," per the CDC, "but they can still be harmful and passed on during sex.”Virtually all STDs can be transmitted through anal, vaginal, or oral sex. In addition, some STDs can also be transmitted through close skin-to-skin contact, even if no intercourse occurs.HPV, for example, can be spread through skin-to-skin touching. In addition, “Molluscum contagiosum, a viral skin disease, can be spread through sexual or casual contact, as can scabies, an itchy skin condition caused by a mite infestation. It is also possible to get scabies from an infected sleeping bag or bed,” says Edward W. Hook III, MD, an endowed professor of infectious disease translational research in the departments of medicine, epidemiology, and microbiology at the University of Alabama in Birmingham, who works with the CDC.STDs don’t just affect the genital regions: “Oral herpes can be transmitted through oral and genital sex,” says Dr. Hook.It is important to remember that STDs may have no symptoms. However, new vaginal or urethral discharge or a new rash after sexual contact should be evaluated by a medical professional.When symptoms do occur, they can include the following:Chlamydia Symptoms of chlamydia can include vaginal discharge in women, penile discharge in men, and burning during urination in men and women.Gonorrhea Gonorrhea can cause thick, cloudy, or bloody discharge from the vagina or urethra, and pain or burning when peeing. If you have gonorrhea in your anus, it may cause itching in and around the anus, discharge from the anus, and pain when defecating. Gonorrhea in the throat may cause a sore throat.Hepatitis B Acute hepatitis B can cause fever, fatigue, loss of appetite, nausea or vomiting, abdominal pain, dark urine, clay-colored bowel movements, joint pain, and jaundice (yellowing of the skin and whites of the eyes). Symptoms can appear anywhere from six weeks to six months following exposure to the hepatitis B virus. Chronic hepatitis B sometimes causes symptoms similar to acute disease.Genital Herpes Signs of genital herpes typically include red bumps that develop into blisterlike sores in the genital area and sometimes on the buttocks or thighs. A new infection with HSV-2, the virus that causes most cases of genital herpes, may also cause flulike symptoms, including fever, headache, feeling tired and achy, and swollen glands.Oral Herpes Symptoms of oral herpes can include itching of the mouth or lips, sores or blisters on the lips or inside the mouth, and flulike symptoms such as fever, headache, body aches, and swollen glands.HIV Early symptoms of HIV infection can resemble those of the flu: fever, headache, muscle aches, and sore throat. They may also include swollen lymph nodes, diarrhea, nausea and vomiting, a fungal infection of the mouth, and a rash on the abdomen, arms, legs, or face. If HIV goes untreated, later symptoms can include fatigue, weight loss, night sweats, joint pain, short-term memory loss, and recurrent infections.HPV Most strains of HPV cause no symptoms and are detected only after abnormal cells are discovered during a Pap smear. However, some types of HPV cause genital warts, which appear as skin-colored or whitish growths on the genitals or anus.Molluscum Contagiosum Often the only sign of this skin disease is pink or flesh-colored bumps with a dimple (indentation) in the center. It is most common in children, who typically get it from skin-to-skin contact or from shared towels or similar items. In adults, it can be sexually transmitted.Pubic Lice Symptoms of pubic lice include itching in the genital area, tiny bugs in your pubic hair, and visible nits (eggs) on hair shafts. Pubic lice can also infest the hair on legs, armpits, eyebrows, eyelashes, and other facial hair such as mustaches and beards.More on Scabies and Pubic LiceHow to Know If That Rash Is ScabiesScabies This skin infestation causes intense itching that is typically worse at night. It can also cause small red bumps or a rash and raised lines on the skin where the mites have burrowed.Syphilis In the primary stage, syphilis causes a painless sore, or ulcer, at the location the bacteria entered the body, often in the genital area. In the secondary stage of syphilis, a rash may occur on the torso and elsewhere on the body.Trichomoniasis Another common STD, trichomoniasis is a parasitic infection that can cause burning and itching in the genital area for men and women as well as painful intercourse. Trich can also cause a smelly discharge and painful or frequent peeing.Can I Have an STD and Not Know It?Yes. Many STDs don’t cause any symptoms, especially during the early stages, so the only way to know for sure if you have one is to get tested. Keep in mind that you can get an STD from having sex with someone who has no symptoms and may not know they have an STD.Are Adolescents Disproportionately Affected?The CDC reports that half of newly reported cases of STDs occur in people between the ages of 15 and 24, noting that young women’s bodies are biologically more susceptible to STDs.“Chlamydia and HPV are common as soon as you become sexually active,” Hook says. “Gonorrhea and genital herpes peak in the late twenties to thirties.”All STDs, though, including HIV, can and do occur at any age.When and How Often Should I Get Tested?“Women should be tested for chlamydia on a regular basis. Some gynecologists test for it automatically, but not all do,” Hook says.Chlamydia Treatment and PreventionTesting for chlamydia, gonorrhea, and trichomoniasis involves collecting either a urine sample or a swab from the vagina or penis.For other STDs, including HIV, syphilis, and genital herpes, blood testing is most accurate.To test for HPV, a sample of cervical or anal cells must be collected.How often an individual needs to be tested for STDs depends on their level of risk for infection.The CDC recommends the following for testing for chlamydia:Annual screening in sexually active women age 25 and younger and in older women who are at an increased risk for infection because of a new sex partner or multiple sex partnersAnnual screening in men who have sex with men, based on exposure history, with more frequent screening in people at the highest riskScreening in all pregnant women at their first prenatal visitAnnual screening in sexually active people living with HIVThe CDC's recommendations for gonorrhea testing include the following:Annual screening in sexually active women who are at risk for infection, which includes women ages 25 and youngerAnnual screening in men who have sex with men, based on exposure history, with more frequent screening in people at the highest riskScreening in all pregnant women under age 25 and older women who are at an increased riskAnnual screening in sexually active people living with HIVThe CDC's recommendations regarding screening for syphilis include these guidelines:Screening in all pregnant women at their first prenatal visitAnnual screening in men who have sex with menAnnual screening in sexually active people living with HIVThe CDC has additiona

The Many Pregnancy Prevention OptionsBy Everyday Health. Listen to the ► Podcast at How To Sex. Contraception Options 101: Everything You Need to Know About Birth ControlHere’s the lowdown on pregnancy prevention with pills, patches, implants, and other types of birth control, plus information on effectiveness, availability, cost, and more.By Cheryl Alkon; By John Paul McHugh, MD courtesy of American College of Lifestyle MedicineUpdated on August 28, 2023It’s a fact: If you’re a woman, and you have sex with a man, it’s possible you’ll get pregnant. But if you don’t want to have a baby, there are many forms of birth control to help prevent pregnancy.Birth Control: A Definition and OverviewWhile abstinence, or refraining from intercourse, is the only way to prevent pregnancy with 100 percent certainty, contraception, or birth control, comes in several different forms, both non-hormonal and hormonal.Non-hormonal methods generally create a physical barrier between the sperm and the egg; a notable exception is the copper IUD, which changes the uterine environment but does not actually present a physical barrier. Two permanent contraception methods require surgery: sterilization, or tubal ligation, for women and vasectomy for men.Hormonal methods generally prevent ovulation (the release of an egg), make it more difficult for sperm to enter the uterus, or prevent a fertilized egg from implanting in the uterus.What’s the Best Birth Control Method?“It varies, and it depends on you and your lifestyle,” says Keosha T. Bond, an assistant medical professor at The City University of New York School of Medicine in New York City. “I try to explain there’s no one-size-fits-all. It’s more, ‘What can I do, and how does my body react?’ There are so many contraceptive methods out there, but not every one will fit every person.”How Effective Is Birth Control?The effectiveness rate of various birth control methods is based on perfect use; meaning the method is used consistently and correctly every single time, and typical use, which includes people who use the method inconsistently or incorrectly.Knowing what all your birth control options are will help you and your partner choose what works best for you. “I think it’s awesome to be talking about it. A lot of people just don’t know” about birth control, says Christine Carlan Greves, MD, an obstetrician and gynecologist with Orlando Health in Florida.Birth Control Methods: All Your Contraception OptionsHere’s a look at the various kinds of birth control available today.Hormonal Birth ControlContraceptive methods that use hormones alter how your body works in order to prevent pregnancy. These range from daily-use options, such as birth control pills, to long-term-use approaches, such as hormonal IUDs, which can stay in place for several years, says Dr. Bond.Hormonal Contraception Option: Birth Control PillsThere are two types of birth control pills: combination pills that contain both estrogen and a form of progesterone called progestin, as well as progestin-only pills (also known as the mini pill).The pills work by preventing ovulation, so there is no egg for sperm to fertilize, or by thickening cervical mucus so sperm cannot travel to an egg.Birth control pills need to be taken every day as directed. Most types of progestin-only pills must be taken within the same three-hour time window every day. Some pills can also be used to stop your period.How effective are birth control pills? Combined and progestin-only birth control pills are more than 99 percent effective if used perfectly and 93 percent effective if used typically.How much do they cost? You need a prescription to get birth control pills. They may cost nothing or up to $50 a month and can be free or low-cost with most types of health insurance, Medicaid, or other government programs.Hormonal Birth Control Side EffectsSome people don’t do well on hormonal contraception. “Each woman is different, and you have to understand your body,” says Bond. If you notice one or more of these side effects, let your doctor know:NauseaWeight gainChanged menstrual cycles, including spottingSome women like the effect of ‘the pill’ on their breast size. They are glad to have that kind of ‘weight gain’.Who Shouldn’t Take Hormonal Birth Control?For some people, the use of hormones is not recommended. “The pill is easy and awesome, but if you have migraines with aura (vision changes during a bad headache) or have a history of deep vein thrombosis, stroke, or other cardiac changes,” talk to your doctor to learn if you should consider another birth control option, says Dr. Greves. Moreover, if you have a blood-clotting disorder, you don’t want to take estrogen, and if you have breast cancer, you don’t want to take estrogen or progestin. Smokers and those considered overweight or obese should talk to their doctors about which contraceptives are recommended for them.Hormonal Contraception Option: The Shot, Depo, or Depo-ProveraAn injection of medroxyprogesterone (Depo-Provera) (also known as the birth control shot) can prevent pregnancy for three months.The shot contains high-dose progestin to prevent ovulation, and it also makes cervical mucus thicker to prevent sperm from reaching the egg.In most cases, your doctor or nurse will give you the shot every quarter, but in some cases, you may be able to bring the shot home to give it to yourself.How effective is the shot? Injectables are more than 99 percent effective with perfect use and 96 percent effective with typical use.How much does it cost? It can cost nothing or up to $150, and it can be free or low-cost with many health insurance plans, Medicaid, and some government programs.Hormonal Contraception Option: Birth Control Implant, or NexplanonThe birth control implant, also called Nexplanon, is a small rod about the size of a matchstick that is placed into the upper arm. It releases progestin to prevent pregnancy for up to three years.The implant must be inserted by a trained healthcare provider and can be removed at any time if you want to get pregnant.How effective is the implant? The implant is more than 99 percent effective.How much does it cost? It can cost anywhere between $0 and $1,300, but it’s totally free with most health insurance plans, Medicaid, and some government programs.Hormonal Birth Control Option: Vaginal Ring (NuvaRing or Annovera)Like combination birth control pills, the vaginal ring contains both progestin and estrogen. It’s a small ring that a woman wears inside her vagina, and the hormones work to prevent ovulation and pregnancy.There are two types of vaginal rings: ethinyl estradiol and etonogestrel (NuvaRing) and ethinyl estradiol and segesterone (Annovera). Each NuvaRing lasts for up to five weeks. You take the old one out and put in a new one about once a month, and it can be used to safely skip your period. Each Annovera ring lasts for one year, but you must put it in your vagina for three weeks, then take it out for one week every month, during which time you’ll typically have a period.How effective is the vaginal ring? Vaginal rings are more than 99 percent effective if used perfectly and 93 percent effective if used typically.How much does it cost? You need a prescription to get the vaginal ring. NuvaRing can cost anywhere from $0 to $200, and Annovera can cost anywhere from $0 to $2,200. But vaginal rings can be free or low-cost with most health insurance plans, Medicaid, and some government programs.Hormonal Birth Control Option: The Patch (Xulane or Twirla)Like the vaginal ring, the patch (brand names Xulane or Twirla) also releases estrogen and progestin, but through a patch worn on your stomach, buttocks, or back.The patch must be changed once a week for three weeks, and then you skip a week and have your period. Xulane can also be used to prevent your period if you add a new patch on the fourth week instead of skipping a week.How effective is the patch? The patch is more than 99 percent effective if used perfectly and 93 percent effective if used typically.How much does it cost? You need a prescription to get the patch. One pack of three patches lasts for up to one month and can cost from $0 to $150. It is free with most health insurance plans, Medicaid, and some government programs.Note: Hormonal treatments may also prevent a conception from securely attaching to the mother’s womb (nidation), resulting in a very early miscarriage which often appears to be a normal menstruation.Intrauterine Devices (IUDs)Intrauterine devices (IUDs) are one of the most effective forms of birth control. IUDs are inserted into the uterus by a trained healthcare professional and can work for up to 10 years, depending on which type you choose. They can also be removed any time if you want to get pregnant.Copper (Nonhormonal) IUDThe Paragard copper IUD (also called the copper IUD) is the only nonhormonal IUD on the market. It’s a small piece of flexible plastic shaped like a T that has copper wrapped around it, which prevents sperm from reaching an egg because sperm are repelled by copper.The copper IUD can be used as a regular form of birth control or as a form of emergency contraception (see more information about emergency contraception below). Paragard IUDs are the most effective form of emergency contraception. If you have one inserted within five days after having unprotected sex, it’s more than 99.9 percent effective against pregnancy and then provides very reliable contraception for up to 10 years.Hormonal IUDsLike the nonhormonal IUD, hormonal IUDs are a small piece of flexible plastic shaped like a T. They release a tiny amount of progestin into your body over several years, which helps prevent pregnancy.There are four brands of hormonal IUDs available in the United States: Mirena, Kyleena, Liletta, and Skyla. Different brands last for different lengths of time. Whichever you choose, you can have your IUD removed whenever you want.An IUD must be inserted and removed by

 Recklessness ruptured my plumbing, and permanently curtailed my sex life. By Anonymous. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex. I Fucked up. I am writing this mainly because there is not a lot of information about this particular injury Around October of last year I was having sex with my girlfriend, when I thrust too hard at the wrong angle and tore my Urethra and two blood vessels in my penis. When the injury first occurred I was close to climaxing. Because of this, when the injury happened and the blood vessels and urethra were torn, blood started mixing into my urethra. I was cumming bloodI was not in pain but I could feel that my dick was not pointing in the right direction and turned on the lights, blood was everywhere and pouring out of me at an alarming rate (think you’re cumming but it doesn’t stop and its blood) At this point I’m panicking and yell out that I need to go to the hospital immediately. I throw on loose pants without zipping them up, a hoodie, and grab a towel to soak the blood that’s coming out. Then me and my girl go to the hospital. The hospital near me specialized in bodily injury and doesn’t have the type of urologist doctor that I need to see, so I have to drive 30 minutes away to the closest hospital that has a Urology department. Once I get to this secondary hospital, I am immediately taken in and put into a room of my own once they see my dick; and about an hour later I see a Urologist who runs some tests and tells me about the ruptured urethra and blood vessels.  I need surgery. The surgery is a process called “de gloving” where they “de-glove” the skin around your penis, roll it down, and make an incision into the underside of the skin and go in and stitch up the torn vessels and urethra, these are dissolvable stitches and they stay in your penis until they go away on their own. About 8 hours later I actually went into surgery, I don’t remember anything. I was wheeled into the operating room and the anesthesiologist cracked a dumb joke, and then I was out. I woke up with my penis wrapped up in bandages and a catheter in me. If you have never had to use a catheter, count yourself lucky. I was told I needed to keep the catheter in for 10 days. These were the longest 10 days of my life. If you asked me what the pain was on a scale of 1-10, it was 7 with the opioids, and 11 without them. Any little movement with my penis and I got searing pain. Wearing any type of clothes was out because I just could not take it, I was pretty much naked during those ten days. Anytime the catheter twisted? Pain. Anytime I had to roll out of bed to go get something from the fridge? Pain. Worst of all? Erections. As the men reading this will know, erections are not really voluntary, we just get them sometimes. Morning wood is a real thing and its not controllable. Want to know what getting an erection feels like when you have stitches in your dick and a catheter? Worse than words could ever explain.  I woke up screaming three times a night. I would tear something and I could see the stale blood along the catheter as my erections came and went. The blood became crispy, and if I didn’t clean it when it happened, the next erection would be 5 times as painful because it would grow along the stale, sharp leftover blood on the catheter. I quickly learned how to kill erections, but it was still really bad. I’m actually leaving out some details because I’m not fully recovered yet and the phantom pain comes back as I’m trying to recall it. As of today, I have the catheter out and can walk around again, but erections are still painful, I imagine that will go away in the next few weeks. Yes, You Really Can Fracture a Penis shaft — Here's What That Means Proceed with caution if you're squeamish. BY SOPHIE SAINT THOMAS - 2018 There are a lot of sexual myths out there, but doctors confirm that broken penises aren't one of them. Remember when Lexie Grey supposedly broke Mark Sloan's penis back when all our favorite characters on Grey's Anatomy were still alive? Nope, Shonda Rhimes wasn't making that up. While there aren't actually bones in the penis, a penile fracture is a real-life injury. We spoke to several urologists to learn how it happens, what a broken penis looks like, and how to treat one. What exactly is a fractured penis (often known as a "broken dick")? First, a quick refresher on what inside a penis can break in the first place: A penis contains two chambers of tissue called the corpus cavernosum, which fill with blood when the penis becomes erect. Blunt force to an erect penis can tear the sheath surrounding these chambers (and even rupture the erectile tissue inside) so that the blood inside leaks out to other areas of the penis. If you need another visual, Alex Shteynshlyuger, a urologist in New York City, says to think of this covering less like a bone and "more like a sausage casing." (Doctors, however, call the covering of the corpus cavernosum the "tunica albuginea.") How do penile fractures happen? A penis can be broken during vigorous penetrative sex or through masturbation. When this happens during partnered sex involving a penis and vagina, "generally speaking, the penis will come out of the vagina and strike against the pubic bone," says Leslie Deane, an associate professor of urology at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago. While a penis can fracture during sex in any position, research suggests that Female on top, or rear-entry positions such as ‘reverse cowgirl’ or ‘doggy style’ may lead to penile fractures more often than ‘missionary’ or ‘spooning.’ A penis may be more likely to exit a vagina or anus entirely when thrusting from behind and then, instead of reentering, bang against something hard like the perineum. (If you're an anal sex beginner, it's important to take things slow. Deane says penile fractures aren't uncommon, and that he sees several cases a year. He adds that he observes higher rates of the injury around Valentine's Day and that alcohol is sometimes involved. What does a broken dick look like? According to Stacy Loeb, an assistant professor of urology and population health at New York University, a penile fracture may be accompanied by a popping noise, a rapid loss of erection, and acute pain. "The penis may develop swelling and bruising, referred to as an 'eggplant deformity,'" Loeb says. This means that the eggplant emoji isn't totally off-base as a representation of dicks: It just looks like a broken one. Shteynshlyuger adds that some penile fractures lead to bleeding from the tip of the urethra and that patients may notice blood in their urine. If you're having fun with a penis that suddenly "pops," goes soft, and causes its owner immense pain, seek medical attention immediately. You might have a broken dick on your hands. How is a broken penis treated? Still reading? Good, because there's some positive news: If treated, broken dicks stand a great chance of making a full recovery. Unfortunately, Deane says, surgery is required in most cases. While there are less severe penile injuries that can occur during sex, such as a tear of one of the superficial veins, the only way to know for sure what's going on is to head to the emergency room. It's also important to do it fast: "Surgical repair of the tear usually results in good outcomes," Shteynshlyuger emphasizes. However, "If a penile fracture is severe and not treated in a timely manner, it can lead to problems with obtaining or maintaining erections, [or] it may also cause scar formation in the penis and a condition called Peyronie's disease, which causes curvature and deformity of the penis." After surgery to repair the ruptured "sausage casing" inside the penis, the recovering patient should be able to have sex again in about six to eight weeks, although Deane advises going slow at first. This doesn't mean that wild, headboard-rattling sex is off the table after a penile fracture, but it's not a bad idea for patients to ease their way back in. Hard Flaccid Syndrome A rare condition that affects some men, is called Hard Flaccid. They have a stiff, but smaller-than-erect cock. It’s painful, inhibits real erection, prevents ejaculation, and has constant pain which increases during urination. Our best investigations conclude that it comes from a likely combination of muscle injury coupled with an anxiety or stress disorder. Many people manifest stiff muscles under stress. More often it’s neck, back, or chest muscles.  But rarely it’s the pelvic floor muscles which connect the pelvic bone to the tailbone. When women do Kegal exercises for better vagina constriction, they are working those same pelvic floor muscle groups. But when a physical injury leads to muscle spasms, like common back injuries cause, The spasms can lead to a precipitous chain of other ‘self preservation’ conditions. The Hard Flaccid Syndrome is believed to be just such a ‘perfect storm’ chain of events. Let’s hear from a few men who are dealing with this, and what their progress entails. ‘Old Will’ said; “I had Hard-Flaccid for about two years. Low labido, cold penis, glands sometimes had white spots. Then for about 8 months I practiced relaxing, worked on my anxiety and anger issues and it all over time went away. I started off on anxiety meds and that's when I noticed hard-flaccid getting better. Suddenly it hit me that the only thing I hadn't thought of was managing my anxiety. I was on that for about 2 months. Then when I got off the meds it started to get a little worse but I figured, if it was really anxiety that caused it, then I needed to calm down, and stop obsessing over it. I mean, I was absolutely obsessed with curing my hard flaccid. So, I just stopped looking into it. I stopped looking for cures online. I made the decision to just enjoy life for a change, better myself and not think about all this all day. And slowly, it just returned to normal. When I first really started taking my mental health seriously, which was about 8 mont

Tie up your man and go to town. By alf_2712. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex. Bondage sex is often associated with Sado Masochism. But that vaste generalization does a great disservice to a wide range of sexual proclivities. Each part of this grouping ought to be understood on it’s own attributes. Bondage is simply adding real or perceived restrictions in a sexual encounter. It’s the fantasy of lost control over a situation which thrills many lovers. It often incorporates a fantasy scenario and some role-playing. Sadism is the infliction of discomfort to a lover. Masochism is a self-inflicted discomfort. Today we’re hearing from Alfie, about her lover’s favorite kink. He allows himself to be restrained and subjected to sexual frustration, in the form of a very delayed ejaculation. Healthy lovemaking of this sort may include switching roles, or may remain in fixed roles of a dominant & a submissive. Sometimes it’s only a fantasy desired by one of them, yet the other lover plays a role simply to satisfy the other’s sexual sesires. Here’s Alfie. My favorite Tease & Denial plot. Spread eagle is my definitely my favorite bondage position. I love it. Tying at the feet is not always necessary, but the hands, absolutely. Even though a pair of cuffs in the middle do have their place, I’m a firm believer in hands at the corners. Some sort of strapping under the bed, whatever; we just want his arms out. Face up, of course. You will need: n  a bed big enough for both of you n  some kind of restraint system already attached at all four corners of the bed frame, to tie his limbs outward, toward the four corners of the bed n   a bowl or basket containing: A: a bottle of tasty massage oil, B: a cock ring, and C: a feather, furry mitt, or something which is very ticklish. Besides these, the following are preferred; n  big tits If you’ve got them n  and minty gum can be nice. No need for a blindfold. believe me, his eyes are your friend. You might also keep a glass of water, gotta keep those spit and sweat glands pumping. Ice water if you’re a bitch. And a word on gagging. it’s up to you! But if you’re gonna gag, gag properly (i.e. rubber is better than your thong). Let’s get started! But let him breathe freely. His muffled voice is more for your experience of domination. Get your man on your bed. Your face and hairdo should be impeccable and sultry, with lipstick mascara, and whatever else makes you look like a high-class slut. But somehow keep your hair from falling into your face on onto his oily body.  You want his to see your impeccable face and styled hair for the entire event. If there’s a clock in the room, hide it. Get him on his back and give him a kiss. A pillow under his head is good. And he’s naked, right? Completely naked? Dote on him and ask if he likes the position of the pillow. This doting just camouflages the torment you have planned for today. You don’t have to be also naked, yet; but let your clothing help set a sensual mood. A Silky robe or his favorite lingerie is a good choice to start with. Make focused attention on his comfort before you gently attach the restraints. Adjust the wrist restraints so you can fit one finger between the material and his skin. You want barely any wiggle room in his arms. And his legs? Well, that’s up to you. Being bound on the bed and all accessible is going to make him squirm whether his legs are forced straight or not. I say leave em. But he might accidently hurt you if he suddenly flinches his legs. Once all restraints are attached, extend each of his limbs and tighten the length up, so he’s truly spread-eagle and limited from squirming around during the event. Tease and denial is the name of the game here. Or “edging” if you like. And edging it is. We’ll be taking him right to the edge of an orgasm, more than a few times. You know you’re doing well if you lose count. I hope your blowjob skills are up to date, ‘cause tongue is king here. Not to say it’s your only asset (it’s not). but subjecting him to excruciating pussy-torture can come a bit later.  In case it’s not clear already, this guide is written from a woman’s perspective; so if you’re not one, some parts of it may not be applicable. Set the scene: So! Your man-slave is bound and the fun can begin. What’s first? Well, “what’s first” is the part that I don’t really know about. I hope the setting is nice, the light not too bright; the room not too cold. Sensual music or nature sounds can be nice. I like to get on top for a moment after the restraints are on, & give him a hickey, then slither down to his knees. Scratch his stomach and sides on the way down (good nails are good to have; nothing like a French manicure at your man’s balls). Yeah, scratch his balls a little.  Sensual disrobing: By now it’s time to take something off. Make it a sensual performance for his enjoyment. I let my g string panties stay on a little longer, but you ain’t got a smooth stomach for nothing. Apply the Massage Oil: Now it’s time to bring out the massage oil. I Hope you taste tested it first. Sweet Almond or olive oil is reliable. Sweet Almond unscented oil has a very neutral taste. Artificial scents might smell nice, but usually are bitter tasting, and might upset your stomach. Plan on lots of tasting. Mmm, oil. Again, don’t use any water-base lubricant for this event. Whatever oil it is you use, it’ll warm up in your hand and be a little more liquidy. We don’t need to let it yet, though. So kneel facing him, right up between his thighs; & get yourself all slippery; it’s easy to start with your own arms, and then your chest and beyond. Show him how slippery. Cover yourself from your neck down to your thighs. Now straddle over his waist as you coat his arms, shoulders, neck, chest, and armpits. It’ll make little suction noises when you dump it on your hands and on to his body. Cover everything in front of you, down to his knees, up to his nipples, only enough on his cock to get it shiny. Don’t put oil on his head, or yours. Take a minute to lightly rub his armpits, flanks, and nipples. Now slowly slide your panties down each hip, then shift off him as you draw a leg out of the thong. Then get up and stand over him, facing his feet, with your ass and cunt in his full view.  Now slowly descend to your knees, and apply oil on your ass, once coated sufficiently, lean over with a hand resting on the mattress right next to his crotch, so he can see you further rub the oil slowly over your anus and labia. Add some more oil on his pelvis, thighs, hips, just make sure you’re carefully supporting your own weight as you slide your hands over his oily body. We don’t need any cracked ribs ruining the event. When you’re both coated, rotate around and kneel between his thighs. Now slowly  lean over and give one of his nipples a lick, then lay flat on top of him again. Let your tits make first body contact to his chest, and pause to oscillate a bit, before fully landing your entire torso onto his, with your  thighs along the inside of his. You can probably feel gravity pulling you towards his feet. You can position your breasts nicely between his thighs on the slide down stroke, then slide back up to his face and do it again. Maybe lick his balls. Get up on your knees and rotate to straddle his stomach now, on your knees again, his eyes facing your ass. Pour or squirt some oil into your palm and hold it for, oh, ten seconds. Then cup your hand with it up under his balls, and drag the liquid up to his belly button. Massage his entire scrotum sack, gently fondling each of his balls as you go. Finally, drip a bit of oil over his cock tip, then use an open palm to very gently rub just his glans, the top cap of his cock. Add some more oil on his cock tip, and sensually spread the oil down his entire cock shaft.  Ooh, all slippery, all of a sudden. Grasp his cock below the head and slide your hand back down again, and massage his balls some more, It’s amazing if the sack is trimmed or shaven. Put your thumb and forefinger in an ‘okay’ circle position around the base of his cock, above the balls, and squeeze. Draw your hand up a little and see that cock head bulge; every nerve ending standing at attention. You can hold the tight grasp about 15 seconds, then release him now, because it’s time for the cock ring. I prefer and recommend the simple stretchy rubber O ring that leaves his balls free. Have him take a deep breathe in, then have him completely relax his body as he exhales. While he exhales, roll the cock ring on down his oily shaft, right to the base. Now maybe give him a minute to cool down first if you have to. While your ass is in his face, rub your labia and anus slowly, some more, then crawl back down between his thighs and look at his eyes. Next, it’s time for part one of I don’t know how many:  This is the slow, grueling handjob. It’s going to be very tasty indeed. I have a big smile on my face, perched inside his spread knees, looking into his eyes and licking my teeth. What a view he has: my face, my hair, tits, neck, bare shoulders, and his big, helpless cock wrapped in my slick fingers. A nice little exclamation point. With the cock ring on properly, his cock is; hard. Don’t forget it. The cock ring is a must-have for 90% of the time. The cock ring’s doing some work for you in keeping his penis bigger, harder, more sensitive and for longer. It also prolongs cumming, which is nice. Would you like to prolong cumming? Anyway, back to the matter at hand. I’d say for now stay at his knees. Have one hand by his stomach and the other around his dick. Tickle, rub, caress and massage the head. Your fingertips have a little texture and it’s good for this. Make a fist above the head and slide the cock through your liberally lubricated hand, and then the next above it. Keep one hand working his balls while the other is up and down the shaft, getting just high enough to touch the head. But this isn’t really a handjob guide; it’s up to you to know

Fundamentals, Types and Roles, Safety Rules, and More By Nuna Alberts, LCSW. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex. If you’ve ever fantasized about getting kinky in the bedroom, you’re not alone. The runaway success of E. L. James’s Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy of books; the three top-selling print and e-books in the United States between 2010 and 2019; not to mention the sales of the movies they generated, prove that interest in BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism) is anything but rare.BDSM can involve role playing, sensory manipulation, and more. Here are a few popular ways enthusiasts like to get kinky! Prevalence: How Many People Practice BDSM? Further proof: Nearly 47 percent of women and 60 percent of men have fantasized about dominating someone sexually, while slightly more women and less men are aroused by the idea of being dominated, according to a 2016 study. The same study also found that almost 47 percent adults would like to participate in at least one nontraditional type of sexual activity, and 34 percent said that they’d done so at least once in the past. No wonder if you search the phrase “BDSM” on Google it will return more than 500 million results. By comparison, the phrase “missionary sex” returns about 163 million results. The History of BDSM: Not So New Explore a little more and you’ll also discover that BDSM is nothing new. Among BDSM’s historical high points: Art and texts from ancient Greece and Rome show physical pain being used as an erotic stimulus, per the book An Illustrated History of the Rod, by William M. Cooper, first published in 1868. The Kama Sutra, the revered Sanskrit text on sexuality written in India about 2,000 years ago, describes six appropriate places to strike a person with passion and four ways to do it. It also has chapters titled “Scratching,” “Biting,” and “Reversing Roles.” The Marquis de Sade, a French aristocrat who lived from 1740 to 1814, wrote a variety of erotic novels and short stories involving being beaten and beating others. Eventually the author’s name gave rise to the term “sadism.” Similarly, the term “masochism” is derived from the name of Austrian nobleman and author Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, whose 1870 novel Venus in Furs describes a dominant-submissive relationship. Back in 1953, a Kinsey Institute study found that 55 percent of women and 50 percent of men were aroused by being bitten. And even pre-Fifty Shades of Grey, 36 percent of U.S. adults reported having had sex using masks, blindfolds, or other forms of bondage. Is BDSM Still Considered a Medical Disorder? At one time, mental health experts were dubious about whether those who practiced BDSM were mentally healthy. But the American Psychiatric Association took a huge step in destigmatizing kink with the release of the current Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) in 2013. For the first time ever, the guidelines drew a clear distinction between consenting adults who engage in sexual behaviors outside the mainstream, such as BDSM, and those who force others to engage in those behaviors without consent. That means simply experimenting with, say, whips and chains, is no longer a sign of mental illness that by itself “justifies or requires clinical intervention,” the manual states. There are true sexual disorders that are similar in theme. Sexual sadism disorder, for instance, involves inflicting physical or psychological pain on another for the purpose of sexual pleasure. And sexual masochism disorder involves deliberately involving yourself in a situation in which you are humiliated, beaten, or abused for the purpose of sexual excitement. The difference between these two disorders and BDSM is consent, in the case of sexual sadism disorder, and that BDSM does not go to the degree of causing significant distress or impairing function, in the case of sexual masochism disorder. The Psychology of BDSM: Why Are People Drawn to It? Most of the available evidence shows that the majority of BDSM enthusiasts are mentally healthy and typical in every respect except that they find traditional (“vanilla”) intimacy unfulfilling and want something more intense. “People always ask if it’s normal to be interested in BDSM,” says Michal Daveed, a spokeswoman for The Eulenspiegal Society, a nonprofit organization in New York City that describes itself as the “oldest and largest BDSM support and education group” in the country. “Normal is a funny word to describe a really widespread and diverse humanity. If your definition of normal is how many people are doing this, it’s way more people than you may think,” says Daveed. “And if your definition of normal is ordinary, the BDSM world is full of ordinary people whose sexuality happens to be hardwired a particular way.” One landmark 2008 study backs Daveed up. It found that people who engaged in BDSM were more likely to have experienced oral sex or anal sex, to have had more than one partner in the previous year, to have had sex with someone other than their regular partner, and to have taken part in phone sex, visited an internet sex site, viewed an X-rated film or video, used a sex toy, had group sex, or taken part in manual stimulation of the anus, fisting, or rimming. However, they were no more likely to have been coerced into sexual activity and were not significantly more likely to be unhappy or anxious. Indeed, men who had engaged in BDSM scored significantly lower on a scale of psychological distress than other men. “Our findings support the idea that BDSM is simply a sexual interest or subculture attractive to a minority, and for most participants not a pathological symptom of past abuse or difficulty with ‘normal’ sex,” the researchers concluded. “BDSM is a healthy expression of sexuality,” says Filippo M. Nimbi, PhD, a researcher at the Institute of Clinical Sexology and in the department of dynamic and clinical psychology at Sapienza University, both in Rome. Dr. Nimbi is also the coauthor of a study that compared 266 consensual BDSM practitioners to 200 control subjects who described their sex lives as traditional. (10) Echoing the earlier study, the researchers found that the BDSM group tended to report fewer sexual problems than the general population. “People engaging in BDSM are usually people who have thought a lot about their sexuality,” Nimbi said. “They have explored and faced their sexual boundaries. Basically, they know what they like, and they do it. This has a positive outcome on their sexual experiences and on the overall quality of their lives.” Many people think it’s a pathology or a perversion to, say, want to be spanked hard and to be happy about that, he added. “We each develop our erotic fantasies from our different tastes, experiences, and curiosities, beginning in childhood and lasting until the end of our lives. Everyone is different. We can develop the same fantasy from different stories, and we can develop different fantasies from the same stories. Some people find in BDSM a way to be free, to get wild, to let go, and to play a different role from their everyday lives. And if they get satisfaction and respect the ‘rules,’ why should it be abnormal?” The Physicality of BDSM: Why Does It Feel Good? Patti Britton, PhD, MPH, cofounder of the credentialing and training institute Sex Coach U and a past president of the American Association for Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT), as well as other experts are quick to point out that seeking the pain-pleasure connection is not unique to the BDSM community. Think of athletes who push past physical comfort to experience a “runner’s high,” or people who chase thrills by engaging in dangerous extreme sports, like skydiving. Think of the bliss that aficionados of super spicy food experience when biting into a pepper sets their mouth on fire, or the rush of fear that riding a roller-coaster or watching a horror movie can bring. “The same chemical cocktail of endorphins, dopamine, and other hormones that make those experiences pleasurable to some makes BDSM actually quite wonderful to others,” says clinical sexologist Francesca Gentille, coeditor of The Marriage of Sex & Spirit, and host of the podcast Sex: Tantra & Kama Sutra. “I like to compare sexual preferences to taste in food. Most of us don’t like bland food, but we have a range of how spicy we like it.” Common Questions & Answers What does BDSM stand for? BDSM is an acronym that stands for bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism. Why do people like BDSM? In the past, it was thought that BDSM might be a sign of unhealthy sexuality. But increasingly, even medical professionals say that BDSM is a healthy expression of sexuality. Erotic fantasies that fall into this category develop from different tastes, experiences, and curiosities that develop in childhood. What is a rigger in BDSM? A rigger is someone who, in engaging in BDSM play, ties rope for bondage purposes. What is a brat in BDSM? A brat, in the context of BDSM, is someone who misbehaves toward the dominant party in the BDSM scene being played out. Is BDSM illegal? BDSM occupies murky territory, legally. The foundation of BDSM “play” is consent between the parties engaging in it. However, you cannot legally consent to be tortured or assaulted. And what seems to be “play” to some may appear differently to others. Roleplaying and BDSM: The Variety Is Endless Doctor and patient. Teacher and student. Roleplaying is a common aspect of BDSM “play.” It may involve two or more people who “act out” a particular scene or fantasy. BDSM roleplay can happen in person or virtually. It almost always involves at least one individual being dominant and another being submissive. It may be simple, or it may be complicated enough to require a script. And actual sex is not the focus. “The core of BDSM is the psychological part,” explains Mistress Damiana Chi, a dominatrix

A discussion of Advanced Maturity and Sexuality By Mark Stibich, PhD. Listen to the ► podcast at How To Sex. Many people in their 70s and 80s are not only sexually active, but satisfied with their senior sex lives. University of Michigan Institute for Healthcare Policy and Innovation. Let’s talk about sex. Though the frequency or ability to perform sexually may decline with age due to physiological changes, these don't necessarily affect how a person experiences or enjoys sex. Aging-related problems like erectile dysfunction (ED), vaginal dryness, or urinary incontinence can affect sex. But their impact can also be minimized by using medication, managing chronic conditions, seeking individual or couples counseling, and changing sexual practices. This article explores the sex lives of adults 65 and over and the problems that can interfere with sex as the body ages. It also discusses the various treatment options and ways to maintain—or even jumpstart—your senior sex life. Studies suggest that men are almost twice as likely as women to still have sex or masturbate in their later years. A British study found close to 60% of men ages 70 to 80 and 31% of men ages 80 to 90 are still sexually active. In women, those figures drop to 34% and 14%, respectively. This lower rate of sexual activity in older women may be due to a lack of opportunity rather than a lack of desire. Research shows that older women are less likely to have partners (due in large part to the fact that they often outlive their partners). This is sometimes referred to as "the partner gap." It is common for men to experience sexual problems after age 40. Reasons include a natural decline in testosterone levels, heart disease, and prostate problems. The inability to achieve or sustain an erection or reach orgasm or ejaculation are common concerns. Erectile Dysfunction Erectile dysfunction (ED), formerly known as impotence, is the inability to achieve or maintain an erection firm enough for sexual penetration and long enough to achieve orgasm. While ED is more common in older men, aging itself does not cause the problem. ED is related to conditions, sometimes several at once, that directly or indirectly interfere with erections. Risk factors include high blood pressure, diabetic nerve damage, smoking, obesity, Peyronie's disease, depression, and even certain medications. An accurate diagnosis is needed to ensure the right treatment. ED drugs like Viagra (sildenafil), Levitra (vardenafil), and Cialis (tadalafil) are often the first-line treatments for ED. Lifestyle changes and counseling can also help. For some men, hormonal therapy, penis pumps, and penile implants may be recommended. Is There a Female Viagra? Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia Benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) is a non-cancerous enlarged prostate and one of the most common health problems in older males.6 BPH can cause symptoms like difficulty urinating, frequent urination, or waking up in the middle of the night to urinate (nocturia). On top of this, BPH can cause sexual problems like low libido (low sex drive) and delayed ejaculation (difficulty reaching orgasm). Among the treatment options, testosterone therapy may help restore libido. There are also certain drugs used off-label that may help with delayed ejaculation, including cabergoline (originally marketed as Dostinex) and Wellbutrin (bupropion).7 Because some BPH medications can also cause sexual dysfunction, a change in the dose may help resolve these concerns. Lifestyle Changes to Treat Erectile Dysfunction Sexual Health Problems in Older Women More than a third of older women experience sexual problems. These are typically due to menopause, when estrogen levels steeply decline. Hormonal changes can lessen sexual desire and make it harder to become aroused. Sexual organs also change as a person gets older. A woman's vagina will shorten and narrow. The vaginal walls become thinner and less flexible, tearing more easily. Vaginal lubrication decreases, making vaginal intercourse more painful. Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder Hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) is diagnosed when an absence of sexual fantasies, thoughts, and desires causes personal distress. It is a problem that is common among many older women. A medication known as Addyi (flibanserin) is used to treat HSDD in women. It is currently only approved for premenopausal women, but research shows that it can also improve libido in older women as well. Risk of Low Libido After Menopause Vaginal Dryness Vaginal dryness is uncomfortable and can make sex painful. Over-the-counter (OTC) remedies that can help relieve irritation and itching from vaginal dryness include lubricants such as K-Y Jelly or vaginal suppositories like Replens. If OTC remedies don’t help, your doctor may prescribe estrogen cream as well as estrogen-containing vaginal rings and vaginal suppositories. There are also plant-based products, like black cohosh, that have estrogen-like effects. These should be used with caution in women who have had or are at risk of breast cancer. Pain With Sex Painful intercourse is more likely in older women as vaginal tissue tends to thin and tear easily after menopause. Standard treatments for vaginal dryness can often help ease pain during sex. If that is not effective, prescription drugs like Osphena (ospemifene) and Intrarosa (prasterone) can treat thinning vaginal tissues and help relieve moderate to severe vaginal dryness. Dealing With Painful Intercourse After Menopause Pelvic Organ Prolapse The pelvic floor muscles and tissues hold the bladder, uterus, cervix, vagina, and rectum in place. Pelvic organ prolapse (POP) occurs when the pelvic floor weakens, causing the pelvic organs to drop and bulge (prolapse) in the vagina. This can cause pelvic pain and pressure, pain with sex, and urinary incontinence. POP is often treated with pelvic floor physical therapy to strengthen the supporting muscles. In some cases, surgery may be needed. What Is Uterine Prolapse? Other Health Concerns Chronic medical conditions become more common as a person ages. Many of these can interfere with an older person's sex life. Arthritis and Chronic Pain Arthritis and other chronic pain conditions are common among older adults and can make sex very difficult. Depending on the cause, doctors may recommend physical therapy to strengthen muscles and improve flexibility. Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs), both over-the-counter and prescription, can be taken before sex to help ease the pain. Opioid drugs, while effective as a pain reliever, can cause a drop in testosterone and contribute to ED. If the pain only occurs in certain sexual positions, let your partner know and try different positions. Bolstering your bodies with pillows and cushions can also help. Best Positions for Sex With Back Pain Diabetes In the United States, almost one-third of adults over 65 have diabetes. Approximately half of these are undiagnosed. Diabetes can cause sexual dysfunction in both men and women. This can be due to circulation problems, medication side effects, or nerve damage. Problems include: Low libidoDifficulty with arousalErectile dysfunctionPainful intercourseReduced genital sensationUrinary tract infectionsYeast infections The best way to reduce the impact of diabetes is to gain control of your blood sugar. Speak with your doctor if you have difficulty managing your blood sugar, and be sure to mention any sexual health problems you may be having. It's important for your doctor to know. Heart Disease Older age is the greatest risk factor for heart disease. Heart disease causes problems as arteries start to narrow and harden (referred to as atherosclerosis). This reduces blood flow throughout the body, including the pelvis and genitals, resulting in sexual dysfunction in both men and women. Heart disease is one of the leading causes of erectile dysfunction in men. It can also cause women to have difficulty achieving orgasm due to the decreased blood flow to the genitals. There is no one way to resolve these issues, but there is evidence that statin drugs used to reduce the risk of heart disease can improve erectile dysfunction in some men.19 Some studies suggest that similar approaches may improve sexual function in women with heart disease. People with heart disease may also be nervous about sex due to fear of a heart attack. While sexual activity is generally safe, talk to your health provider if you are concerned. Navigating Sex After a Heart Attack Obesity Today, more than 40% of adults over 65 meet the definition of obesity. Research shows that women who are obese are more likely to experience sexual dysfunction than non-obese women. In addition, obesity increases the odds of erectile dysfunction in men. These issues may be directly related to higher rates of diabetes among people who are obese as well as reduced blood circulation due to atherosclerosis. Weight loss, achieved with a healthy diet and routine exercise, is considered the best strategy to overcome obesity. It may also improve a person's self-image and sense of well-being while making sex easier to navigate. Urinary Incontinence Urinary incontinence is the loss of bladder control. This becomes more common with age, especially in women. Incontinence can be embarrassing and make sex awkward. Women who experience stress incontinence may be afraid to orgasm. Extra pressure on the abdomen during intercourse can also cause urinary leakage. If you have incontinence, empty your bladder before sex. Changing sexual positions can help prevent urinary leakage by avoiding the compression of the bladder. Pelvic floor exercises can also help strengthen the muscles that aid with urine control. Medications Some medications used in older adults can cause sexual dysfunction in both men and women. These include: AntidepressantsAntihistaminesChemotherapyDiuretics ("water pills")High blood pressure medicinesOpioid painkillers If you are having

 Weird Hormones and suppressed fetishes can make expecting, a delight. By various parents. Listen to the podcast at How To Sex. A young and frisky married couple is contemplating having a baby. They’re seeking advice on lots of things, but the question that came to us is; “What is sex like, during pregnancy and after?Some details are straight-forward and answers are easy. Like; It’s rare for an obstetrician to recommend any limits on sexual intercourse, and in those rare situations, Couples can utilize their other means of sexually satisfying each other’s cravings. What a medical professional can’t tell you, is how your morning sickness and late term discomfort will take a toll on your libido. And then there are other hang-ups, like knowing your child is fractions of an inch from where daddy’s parts are rubbing mommy’s parts. Pregnancy does amazing things to a woman’s complexion, and bustline. That usually draws her man’s attention. But the last weeks of pregnancy have common discomforts. But after delivery, her vagina needs a break for about 6 weeks.  Couples sometimes have to put effort into getting back in the grove of sexual intimacy, only this time a baby can interrupt anything. So it’s especially important to have great sex before a seasonal post-partum drought hits your sex life. Well, we’re going to give you lots of perspectives, for couples who’ve been through this unique phase. Enjoy! Here’s what some experienced folks said; First trimester it sucked. I was chronically sick, didn’t feel sexy, couldn’t orgasm , it was horrible. Second trimester a switch flipped , my vagina became engorged with blood , I feel tighter , hornier , wetter. I want my man now. I’m just blessed I have a homey who goes through this crazy cycle with me because now it feels so good and I can’t get enough of him but the first trimester sucked InternalLevel  Fun. It forced my wife and me to explore a lot of new positions and techniques. I also got a lot better at oral because toward the end of pregnancy that was the easiest way for her to have an orgasm due to being limited to only a few positions. Adventurous_Mind  With my first pregnancy it was great. I wanted to do it a lot of the time and could climax with just penetration what until that point had never happened before. Eventually, by week 34, PGP kicked in and there was nothing until 6-8 weeks after my c-section. My third pregnancy was the opposite, I had severe morning sickness/nausea till week 15-16, then hardly had any sex drive till week 25 when I had a persistant pelvic pain and it was physically impossible to do it anymore. I can count on one hand how many times we had sex between finding out I was pregnant at 3 weeks gestation till 20 weeks after my c-section. Complete Honesty  When my woman was pregnant - it was top tier sex. I Would recommend, if you’re partner is down for it! Raven heart  I was in the mood all the time with all 5 of my pregnancies. The drawback is, after I had each one; my libido went on an extended vacation for a years or so, so I’d have to fake it, fake interest, fake the orgasms, all of it. Then with pregnancies 4 and 5, each orgasm would cause my uterus to contract, even at 6 weeks pregnant it happened, making me not really want the orgasms. Odd shit boys mom  I was in Japan for much of the pregnancy of our first son. I was home for our 2nd son’s pregnancy. I think I'd rather have been back in Japan! The wifey was insatiable! Monday thru Friday, at 5am, wham bam thank you ma'am! 5 Pm, wham bam thank you ma'am. On the weekends, it was thrice per day. Same with our third, a baby girl! done good  I Dunno. I guess I was too gross for my hubby to even want it. He never tried. But the do-it-yourself release was epic. Automatic_Plant  It was Tiring when she got a high sex drive spell. Oh, God! She had a honey spell for a whole week. I was right tired all week Prairie Chocolate  Didn’t have it, husband stayed the fuck away from me, we only did it a few times during pregnancy and it was awful, especially at the end when trying to go into labor, I felt like a beached whale Creep in cupcake  Best sex of our marriage, her sex drive finally matched mine, she gets a little thicker, her breast are engorged and plump, and I could leave it in and fall asleep. Its probably why we had 4 kids, now that I think about it. Definition Primary  Once I hit the second trimester, I was a total horn dog! Plenty_Trouble  Pretty bad honestly. We tried once or twice but I had this mental block that I could hurt her or the baby, even though I know it's very unlikely. Some people have a pregnancy fetish or aren't bothered by it at all; but I'm not one of those people. Made me feel super guilty whenever my wife was horny. neil  Some of the best sex I’ve had. The only time I’ve ever gushed. spagooter and mash  My wife and I were going at it constantly, almost every day!  Anonymous  My libido is a little higher. Although during the later months of pregnancy some positions are off the table. Boog Tot  You can nut in her as much as you want! Fire  Much, much better until that last trimester. Then it was a struggle, uncomfortable, and orgasms gave me terrible Braxton hicks. But yeah, for those first two trimesters; cannot get enough. almost always except  Wife is pregnant with twins. She's more horny than she's ever been. Amazing sex! mario z  It Depends. With the First pregnancy, first trimester sucked, second one was great, third, I was horny as hell but sex hurt so bad. So I basically kept dragging my husband into the bedroom, convincing him I would be ok, and then regretting it once we started . With the Second pregnancy, first trimester was ok, but second and third were phenomenal. I dunno what happened, but all the stars aligned and my libido was only beaten by my newfound sensitivity. Husband had a blast too. Goose G  Unfortunately, almost non-existent with my partner. Lots of masturbation One Curious Yogi  The positions were hard but it honestly feels so much better after I got pregnant and had the baby. Couldn't understand what the hype was about before. Not that it didn't feel good before either, just wasn't nearly as good as it is now. Flat worm  Absolutely best! She had this extra blood flow down there and as a result all the labia and all that were way more puffy than usual. The sensation was phenomenal! mg macius  Non existent. He refused to do it. And then would lay next to me when he thought I was asleep and jerk off. I was so huge I couldn't even touch myself so I was just miserable both pregnancies. Chemical_Reality  My wife is always really shy and would tell me the next day that she wanted to wake me up in the middle of the night and make love. I kept saying “why didn’t you?” mighty jor  It was great, and I swear having sex like every day, or every other day throughout the pregnancy, is what kept me from having any tearing when I gave birth both times.  Until the last two weeks before I gave birth, then it got super painful so we had to stop then. But otherwise it’s wonderful. I also was not a squirter before I ever got pregnant. And then after I got pregnant with my first baby, I started squirting and I’m thankful that was something that stuck around after the pregnancy. Capital_Search  I loved it. I already like curvy women which my wife is. So all the extra curves that come with pregnancy, drove me wild. Super sweet as well. norml enough  I considered myself to have a higher-than-average sex drive prior to pregnancy, so my husband and I were curious just how horny I’d be once I was pregnant given what I’d heard from other women. Turns out: not horny at all. Libido went back to baseline within a month postpartum, thank god, but I had less than no interest in sex during pregnancy. My husband also thought my pregnant body was super sexy, so that was a pretty big bummer for him c dubs b  During my wife's first pregnancy, I wanted nothing to do with it once she got a bigger belly, not because she wasn't attractive, more just fear. She basically had to pin me down a few times and beg me to do it. tim 28  I always felt like I had to pee. Even if I just peed. It’s like my bladder was being squeezed from both sides. Honestly not ideal. Human 420  From a man’s perspective; it was weird, but for some reason my woman was 10 times more beautiful when she was pregnant, almost like her skin had a certain glow, hard to explain.  I was very happy about becoming a father, but regarding sex; I wasn't exactly thrilled all the time, when she wanted it.  But with her hormones going amok i didn't mind too much, plus getting her to the point of orgasm was a lot easier when she wasn't pregnant. I barely had to do anything. Well Okay  I was super horny during my third pregnancy. Around month 3-4 we were going at it and I started bleeding. After a call into the doc she said get to the er and get checked out. They did an internal ultrasound and it took forever to find the heartbeat. We thought we’d lost the baby. It traumatized my husband a lot. They found the heartbeat thankfully and all was well, but we had to take a break from sex for a while. Once I was given the all clear to go ahead again by my doctor, husband didn’t want to have sex at all during pregnancy. The final 5 months of pregnancy and the 6-8 weeks after, waiting for my post-partum check-up and birth control to kick in was fucking torture for me. It took a year and a half after she was born to get our sex routine back to normal. Paranormal_Shithole  Yea, my wife was super horny all the time. While it was awesome, it actually almost broke my penis. I had to ask my Commanding Officer if we were going to the field anytime soon, so I could give my Peter a rest. I was gone two weeks for field exercises, (I’m a Marine) worst mistake of my life.  She jumped my bones not even 10 secs into getting home from 2 weeks out in the desert of California. I had to wrestle her off me so I could at least go shower first. She joined me in

The Ten Best Positions For Anal.By Daniel Fucking Davis. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.All you faithful readers know I’m a big fan of knocking on a girl’s back door. It feels great. It’s naughty. What’s not to like about it?Nothing… for the guy.For the girl, anal can often be traumatic. I’ve posted a bunch of times on how to prepare for anal sex. You can type “anal” in my search bar and get a ton of info. But let me highlight some things:Anal sex requires preparation to keep it from being messy.Anal sex requires relaxation and trust. If the girl isn’t relaxed… if she tenses up… that’s when it hurts.Anal sex requires a lot of lube. Lots of lube.Anal sex requires you to begin small. A finger in the ass. Then two fingers. Then your cock.Anal sex requires you to start slow. Slide it in and pump with short, slow strokes.Anal sex requires foreplay. Because again, a woman needs to be really relaxed and into it before her ass will open.What I haven’t written about in much detail is good positions for anal. I’ve said, “If it hurts, try the woman on top.” But beyond that, nothing much. That changes with this post.“I want to share with you ten positions that can be great for anal.” They’re great for a variety of reasons: intimacy, pleasure for him, pleasure for her, comfort, etc. I’ll spell out the benefits of each one. They are listed in no particular order. But if you read the articles about preparing for anal that I have written and then learn these ten positions, I guarantee you that you can comfortably (and erotically!) add this very enjoyable aspect to your sex life.1. “The Reverse Cowgirl Rump Rider”He lies on his back, legs together. She straddles him, facing away and bounces with his dong-a-long in her bonk-a-donk.This position is great for her, not only because it lets her control how deep and fast her ass is being fucked, but also because it provides a great angle. He’s going straight in, with a slight upward press. Should be comfortable.It’s a great position for him because of the view - her bulbous back pillows being split by his love meat.2. “The Sphincter Spoon”The key to this spooning technique is that the girl pulls her legs up close to her chest, maybe using her arms behind her knees to hold them. When the legs are pulled up like that, the external spincter muscle (i.e. the asshole) loosens some.When the guy slides in, he goes as deep as possible. But motion is limited.This position is all about intimacy. There is a ton of body contact. He can whisper in her ear or kiss her neck. Guys, you also can play with her nipples or even reach between her legs and rub gently.This is a great starter position for the first anal of the night, precisely because there isn’t much motion. It lets her slowly relax her booty.3. “The Super Sodomy Side Slide” In this position, the girl lies face-down, then pulls one leg up some. So her one leg is straight down. With her other leg, she’s pulled her knee up close to even with her waist. This tilts her slightly onto her side. The guy then straddles the one leg that is straight down. He spreads her cheeks, and slides in.What makes this position great for her is how relaxing it is. He can rub her back while he’s fucking her ass. It also doesn’t allow for very deep penetration.For him there are two pleasures. First, as he pumps, his scrotum is going to be rubbing against the smooth skin on the back of her leg. It feels amazing. Secondly, each time he thrusts in, her one butt cheek - the one of the leg that is straight out - is going to hit him right in what is sometimes called the “inguinal canal” area, where the guy’s leg meets his torso. The firm but soft tush pressing in there… fuck! Feel so good!Guys, an added little treat for her… She she first gets in this position, get down there, slide a finger in her vay-jay-jay, palm facing down, curling the finger slightly. That will place your fingertip on her g-spot. While you work the finger in and out, let your tongue press on her asshole, just causing it to spread a little. She’ll love it.4. “The Dallying In Her Derriere” This is a lovely, slow, lazy way to pump her rump. You are on her side. She is on her back, with her legs hitched over you. She can keep them together or spread them apart, depending on what she finds more comfortable.This is also a very intimate position, as it allows you to see each other’s faces. Motion is limited, as her legs hooked over him prevent him from pumping too hard. He can play with her chest or her clit. She can reach down and rub his balls while he fucks her.5. “The Ass-n-Clitty” Another variation of women-on top. The girl straddles the guy, cowgirl style, facing him, her knees wide apart. She puts his hotdog in her buns, then leans back, using her hands for support. And she bounces and bounces and bounces.The plus for her is that she gets to control tempo and depth. And again, it’s a great angle - straight up her dark tunnel.In addition, in that position her guy has clear access to her clitty-cat. He can pet it. Guys, in this position, I recommend using your thumb. Lick it so it’s slick. Then press it down on top of her clit and roll it, like a pea bring rolled under your finger.Or you can take a finger and curl it in, making a “come here” motion. That puts your finger on her g-spot. Again, roll it around like a pea under your fingertip.For guys, not only do you have an amazing view, but it actually is a very tight fit. With her knees apart like that, her glute muscles get pushed together. Thus, your shaft is cradled in soft butt cheek. Feels amazing.True story. I have had a girlfriend squirt all over my abs in this position while I was in her ass.6. “The Catholic Birth Control” You wouldn’t think missionary position would be great for anal, but it really, really is. However, you probably need to have her hips tilted up. You can do this simply by placing a few pillows under her hips.This is another position aimed at intimacy. The couple can kiss and caress even as he’s tapping her tushie.This position also allows for only shallow penetration, thus it’s great for a girl who, try as she might, believes she can only take the tip. It’s also great for a guy who is well endowed, as maybe only the first two or three inches will get in.Guys, be careful in this position. It’s easy to slip out. And what can really hurt a girl is when you slip out and then don’t aim carefully when you slide back in. It forces her anus to stretch in funny ways! No bueno.7. “The Hero, Pooter-Pounder Style” In the kamasutra, “the Hero” position is woman on her back, with her legs pulled up to the degree that her pelvis tilts up. This can be done a variety of ways. She can grab under her knees and pull them back. He can grab her ankles and push them back. The point is, her legs are in the air, spread apart, and her hips are tilted up. This gives him a straight shot to her pooter-palace!After six positions which were more gentle, we now get to the ones which will be a bit harder. Thus, it requires a bit more experience. These are anal positions you might try after you have being doing one of the first six for awhile. So your rump is all relaxed and ready for a good ramming. ;)For the girls, the fun part of this position is that as well as any of them, you have access to your sugared almond. While your man drills your dumper, rub that thing like you are a DJ and it’s god-damned New Years Eve. You might cum.Guys, you need to understand that with her hips tilted and legs spread, you could go really, really deep. That’s great, if she says it’s great. If not, then this is a position where you have to exercise self control and only use the first four inches or so.8. “The Doggy In the Donk” I don’t want to exaggerate here, so I’ll say it carefully. This is the biggest fantasy of every man on earth. There is nothing like getting a hot girl face down, ass up, and smashing her onion.What does this give to the guys? The best site on earth. When you can see your cock sliding in and out, wedged between those breathtaking cheeks… when that booty meet shakes with each thrust, a slight ripple working through each one… wow. I have a tear in my eye just thinking about it.In addition to the view, if the girl has warmed up to anal and can handle it, this is the position in which the guy can go his hardest. The angle of his cock in her ass, especially if she puts her chest down on the bed, is such that it is a very, very smooth fit. Her rectum is in its natural position. So he can grab her hips and pound away.For the girl, doggystyle anal can be either heaven or purgatory. He’s going to be deep in your ass. But in this position, he stimulates some of the nerves that are actually located in the vaginal wall. If a girl is going to cum during anal, this position will probably be it. While the guy is reaming her from behind, she’ll reach down and play with her clit. If she can cum this way, it will be so intense her back might break.This is one position where a couple of well-placed mirrors can really add to the experience for both of you. She will be able to see your activities and the joy on your face. You’ll bet to see the full impact on her body. Watch her tits ripple and sway. See the look on her face when you give her her first anal climax.9. “The Best Lap Dance Ever” This is yet another woman on top position. The man sits in a chair. Guys, use a kitchen chair, not a big ass recliner. It gives you more range of motion. The woman come and sits on his lap, with his man-meat in her moneymaker.There are two variations to this. The woman can put her legs between his legs. If she does this, she can put her hands on his knees and bounce. Or the woman can put her legs outside his. Unless she has really long legs, she might not be able to bounce as well. But she can grind and rock. It’s a amazing sensation when you grind in that position, ladies! It’s like you are trying to break our cock off inside your can.Guys, if she goes with her legs outside y

Fred Requests a woman's point of view to help him understand. Then Maye weighs in with good memories and advice.By BOSTON FICTION WRITER & MayhemLass Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.Fred’s QuestionDear BFW;I've never tried anal sex before. It never appealed to me. Actually, I never have given it much thought until I perused the anal sex category here at Literotica and found it so popular.I am a bit embarrassed to admit it, but I have never even had sex doggie style either. Yes, I realize that doggie style sex is an overwhelming favorite for hordes of people but not for me. It is not that I did not try having sex doggie style, it just did not work for me; my cock did not reach far enough for me to feel like I was fucking her. I mean, really fucking her. Okay, it reached but it would not go in far enough for me to feel that feeling of deep and satisfying penetration. It felt weird. I mean, I do not have a small cock. My cock is a little bigger than average at 7". Yeah, she seemed to enjoy it, but I was not receiving the same feeling that I receive when doing it missionary style and being able to really pound her."Sorry, Honey, scoot down so that your head doesn't bang the wall."Moreover, although all the women who I have ever been with were clean, having just showered, shaved, douched, and flossed, whenever I tried having sex with them doggie style, I always received an aroma of excrement, which is a total turn off. I mean, I really do not want to smell shit when I am boning someone, and I am not even having sex with them anally; I am just trying to do it doggie style. Yet, when you start pounding away, pumping your pelvic area against her hips, you are going to get a whiff of poopies. And even if she is the most beautiful chick, that is gross."Geez, Beyonce, what the Hell did you eat last night? You smell like a 3-day-old Taco Bell."I remember growing up and that was one of the worse ranks you could say to someone about their mother."Shut up Carl! Your mother takes it up the ass."Way worse than saying that your mother wears combat boots, taking a cock up the ass was a big insult. That is, until a Greek kid moved into the neighborhood and we were playing; and then we started arguing over something stupid and one kid said to the Greek kid."You mother takes it up the ass."The Greek kid, Nick, I think his name was, shrugged and walked away because, apparently, she did take it up the ass. He probably thought the kid was complimenting his mother instead of insulting her.I remember that movie back in the late '70's, Midnight Express with Billy Hayes. He played a college student who went through Turkey hoping to score some drugs, Hashish, and deliver them back to the United States, only he was caught. Boy, those Turks fucked everybody up the ass; it did not matter if you were a man or a woman. What did he call Turkey, a country of pigs? Anyway, any time you dropped anything in that country, you were best just to walk away from it and pretend that it was not yours rather than to bend over and pick it up only to find a Turkish cock up your ass."Fred, Is that your money clip?""Hasad, I don't know who that money clip belongs to but it is not mine.""It has your name engraved on it, Fred.""Hey, Hasad, do you think that I am the only person in Turkey named Freddie?""Yes.""Okay Hasad, then, kick it over here and I'll lie on the ground with my ass to the pavement to pick it up."Anyway, call me ignorant and I am sure that I will piss off a lot of people who are into anal sex but I always thought of anal sex as a gay thing or as a Greek thing and never as a another choice selection to my sexual menu."Honey, can I fuck you up the ass tonight?""Gee, Sweetie, wouldn't you rather have a blow job?""Okay, Honey."Now that I think of it, that movie with Burt Reynolds, Deliverance, I can hear the banjo music, now, showed those mountain men fucking anything that moved up the ass."Look, Darryl, a deer. Shoot it.""Nah, let's track it and catch it. Then, we'll fuck it up the ass before we kill it and bring the meat home to Maw."Oh, and that scene in Quentin Tarantino's, Pulp Fiction where that shopkeeper takes the black dude down the cellar and he calls his friend, a cop, and they are both ready to bone this poor guy up the ass until Butch Coolidge, Bruce Willis, saved his ass with a Samari's sword. Man that was a violent movie. I betcha when Vincent Vega, John Travolta, emerged from the bathroom after taking a shit, he would have preferred taking it up the ass instead of being blown away with that sawed off shotgun by Butch. They just don't make good family movies like that anymore (lol).Actually, don't the Eskimos like anal sex? Still, they have a reason; it is fucking cold in those igloos. Who wants to take off your clothes to have sex when it is so cold that the penguins are trying to get in bed with you to keep warm? This way, the Eskimo women just inch down their seal line pajama bottoms and bang go, you are getting off. How they rub noses while having anal sex is something that I'd like to see, well...maybe not.Presently, sex to me includes intercourse, of course, oral sex, and foreplay. I can see Bubba in prison chomping at the bit not being able to wait until he can get a good behavior pass to go out of his jail cell and to use the computer in the library so that he can write me a nasty comment to this story. Yet, you know, Bubba, if you hadn't been a criminal and dumb enough to have been caught and have your sorry ass thrown in jail, then you would not have to be boning some other convict up the ass while sniffing their poopies. Matter of fact, once you are a free man and out on the street, you cannot tell me that you would rather bone a hussy up the ass instead of fucking them missionary style.I asked my girlfriend if she ever had anal sex and she said that she had it once and did not care for it. Then, I asked my sister-in-law (I have to be careful writing about my sister-in-law otherwise this piece can easily become an incest, okay taboo piece, rather than an anal piece) if she had anal sex and she said that she had. My sister-in-law was the one who wanted me to have sex doggie style with her. She liked doing it doggie style but I could not satisfy her that way. Hey, call me old fashioned. To me, fucking someone up the ass is just sex and not making love. I'd rather face the woman when I am making love to her; so that I can kiss her and suck her tits. Maybe, that's it. I'm a tit man rather than an ass man and it's rather hard trying to suck nipples when they are way on the other side while you have your cock behind her instead of in front of her where God intended Adam to bone Eve."Freddie, you're hurting me and stretching my tits all out of shape trying to pull them back to suck them while you are fucking me up the ass."Now, all the religious freaks will be coming out of the woodwork to make nasty comments to this story. Hey, if you zealots are so full of religion then you shouldn't be doing anal sex anyway. Doesn't the Bible tell you that the only time you people are suppose to have sex is when you are making babies?"Honey, can I have sex with you, tonight?""I'm sorry, Jacob, but I am already pregnant. Give me 9 months and we'll have sex again, then."Yeah, try telling that to Moses. He had like 100 kids. He must have thought he was a Mormon instead of a Jew and it was okay to have more than one wife. Can you just see Mrs. Moses, now?"Hey, Moses. Why don't you bone me up the ass once in a while instead of fucking me missionary style? I'm tired of having all these kids and with you going up to the mountaintop waiting for Jesus to talk to you and not being around to help change diapers. Moses! Where are you going with all those animals? It's raining."Okay, for a brief period, 4 years, I was in the swinging lifestyle and I took an unofficial survey of the women who I partied with (they call it party with instead of saying had sex with) and everyone one of them said that she has had anal sex. Yet, I did not find one woman who preferred anal sex to penis to vagina intercourse. Now, that's an interesting discovery, don't you think? Allow me to repeat that. There was not one woman who would rather have anal sex to having regular penis to vagina intercourse, not one."You look lovely tonight; I cannot wait to make love to you.""Why don't I just drop my panty and bend over. Then, you can fuck me up the ass and we can continue our evening without all of the sexual anticipation?""But, Honey, we are in the elevator.""So, you say that like there is something wrong with that."My friend, Bill, who was a swinger, met this woman who wanted him to fuck her up the ass. She had never had anal sex before and had always wanted to try it. Her husband, the only other guy, apparently, like me who does not like anal sex, would not accommodate her so Bill said, "Sure," he'd fuck her up the ass. Only, and apparently, this woman did not know the rules to anal sex. How could she? She never had it before. Well, before attending this house party where the swingers gathered, the woman had gone to dinner with her husband and had a big meal.Well, you guessed it. Bill was fucking her up the ass. Let me tell you about Bill. He is one horny guy and can fuck better than anyone half his age and he is 60. And he has this huge cock. Anyway, he's fucking this woman up the ass and she is enjoying herself until, suddenly...Bill is covered from his neck to his knees in her shit. She shit all over him and all over the sheets. There was shit on the carpet and on the walls. This woman must have been saving this shit up because it was everywhere. There was so much shit. The woman was so embarrassed that she hauled ass out of there with her husband and left poor Bill covered in shit. He showered and returned to the room to help the hostess clean up the mess. Now, that is a true story and you can ask Bill if you don't believe me. Bill, get in here and tell the readers about

Can a device make it better for us? By Anonymous. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex. A battery-charged vibrator Sex toys — also called adult toys or “marital aids” — are objects people use to have more pleasure during sex or masturbation. Sometimes sex toys can also have medical uses if you have a sexual dysfunction or medical condition. There are many different types of sex toys, and people use them for lots of different reasons. It’s totally normal to use sex toys, but it’s also totally normal not to — it’s a personal decision, and everyone’s different. As long as you’re using sex toys safely, there’s nothing harmful about it.Why do people use sex toys? All kinds of people may choose to use sex toys, for many different reasons. For some, using sex toys is the easiest (or only) way they can have an orgasm — this is especially common for women. Sometimes people use sex toys to help them masturbate. People also use sex toys during sex with their lovers. Some people with disabilities or limited mobility use sex toys to make it easier to masturbate, have sex, or do sexual activities or positions that would otherwise be harder or not possible for them. Sex toys can also help treat the symptoms of certain disorders, like erectile dysfunction, genital arousal disorder, hypoactive sexual disorder, and orgasm disorder. And some people find that sex toys help them deal with the sexual side effects of certain medications, health conditions, or menopause — like a low sex drive or decreased sensation in their genitals. What are the different types of sex toys? There are thousands of different sex toys out there. Some of the most common ones include:  Vibrators (aka vibes, personal massagers) — Objects that vibrate (move continuously/buzz) to stimulate your genitals. It’s very common for people to use vibrators to stimulate their clitoris and other parts of their vulva and vagina. But vibrators can also stimulate the penis, scrotum and testicles, nipples, and anus. Vibrators come in all shapes and sizes. Some can go inside a vagina or anus, and others are meant to be used outside the body.Dildos (Objects that go inside a vagina, anus, or mouth.) Dildos come in many shapes and sizes, but they’re often shaped like a penis. Some look like realistic penises, and others are more abstract. They can also be slightly curved, to help stimulate your g-spot or prostate. Dildos can be made out of lots of different materials, like silicone, rubber, plastic, metal, or, break-resistant glass.Anal toys  Sex toys made specifically to stimulate and/or go inside your anus. Anal toys include plugs (usually called butt plugs), anal beads, prostate massagers, and dildos with a wide base. You need to use lube to use anal toys safely. And it’s very important that any toy you put in your butt has a flared base (meaning it’s wider at the bottom) or some other way to pull the toy out, so it can’t accidentally slip all the way in. If a sex toy goes all the way inside your butt, it could get stuck and you may have to go to the doctor to get it out.Sleeves (aka masturbation sleeves, penis sleeves, or strokers) — Soft tubes that you put your penis into. Sleeves come in all shapes and sizes, and often have different textures on the inside for more sensation. Some even have vibration or suction. There are also strokers that are specially designed for a larger clitoris or smaller penis, particularly for intersex people or trans men on hormone therapy.Penis rings (aka cock rings, erectile dysfunction rings, or constriction rings) — rings that go around your scrotum and/or penis. Penis rings slow blood flow out of the penis when it’s erect (hard), which can increase sensation, or make your erection harder and longer-lasting. The safest penis rings are made from soft, flexible materials that you can easily remove, like silicone, rubber, or leather with snaps. Some penis rings have little vibrators on them, to stimulate you and/or your partner. Because penis rings restrict your blood flow, don’t wear one for longer than 10-30 minutes, and take it off right away if you feel any pain or discomfort. And talk to your nurse or doctor before using penis rings if you have a bleeding disorder or are on blood-thinning medicine.Pumps (aka penis pumps, vacuum pumps, or vacuum erection pumps) — Vacuum-like devices that use a hand or battery-powered pump to create suction around your penis, clitoris, vulva, or nipples. Pumps used negative air pressure to create a vacuum, which drives blood flow to the area, which helps increase sensitivity and sensation. Some people also like the feeling of the suction. Penis pumps can help you get an erection, but they won’t make your penis permanently bigger. Some pumps are designed to help treat erectile dysfunction, genital arousal disorder, and orgasm disorder — you can get more information about these pumps from a nurse or doctor. But most of the pumps you buy in sex stores or adult shops are not medical devices, they’re just meant to enhance pleasure during sex and masturbation. Make sure to follow the instructions, and don’t pump for longer than the instructions say. And talk to your healthcare team before using a pump if you have a blood disorder, or are on blood-thinning medication.Ben Wa balls (aka Kegel balls, Kegel trainers, vagina balls, orgasm balls) — Round objects that you put inside your vagina. They can help you do exercises that tone and strengthen your Kegel muscles (aka pelvic floor muscles). Kegel balls are usually weighted so you have to squeeze your vagina to keep them inside your body. Some are hollow with smaller balls inside that roll and bounce when you move, making a jiggling sensation. You don’t need these balls to do Kegel exercises, and not everyone uses them for that purpose — many people just like the way they feel inside their vagina.Packers (a k a prosthetics) — objects that look and feel like a realistic penis (usually soft) that create a “bulge” in your underwear or clothes. Some packers also let you pee standing up (called stand-to-pee or STP packers). Like with anyone’s genitals, packers aren’t always sexual or used for sex. But some packers can be worn bent down or sticking up, so they can resemble both a non-erect (soft) penis and an erect (hard) penis, and can be used for sex.Harnesses (aka straps or strap-on harnesses) — garments that hold a packer, dildo, or other sex toy against your body. Some are worn like underwear or jock straps, and others may go around other parts of your body, like your thigh. There are so many different kinds of sex toys and ways to use them that figuring out where to start can feel a little overwhelming. Going to a sex toy shop and asking someone who works there about different products can be a great way to learn more about sex toys and what might work well for you. You can also just try something that seems interesting and go from there. Or you may decide sex toys aren’t for you, and that’s totally Okay too. The point is that there are lots of options for different bodies and different kinds of sex — so no matter who you are or what kinds of sex you have, sex toys can be an option for you. How do I use sex toys safely? Sharing sex toys with other people can spread a sexually transmitted disease; referred to as an STD. If someone who has an STD uses a sex toy, the body fluids on that toy can spread the infection to the next person who uses that toy. So if you’re using a sex toy with a partner, it’s important to take steps to help prevent STDs. Wash your sex toys with mild soap and water after you use them, and before they touch another person’s genitals. Putting condoms on sex toys can help keep them clean and prevent the spread of STDs. Just make sure you change condoms before the toy touches another person’s genitals. If you’re using a sex toy in your anus, make sure you use lots of lube. The anus doesn’t lubricate itself (get wet) the way a vagina does, so putting something in your butt without adding lube can be painful, uncomfortable, and even unsafe. And never put a sex toy that’s been in an anus into a vagina without washing it or changing the condom first. If germs from your anus get into your vagina, it can lead to vaginitis. It’s also important to make sure that any sex toy you use in your anus has a wide base or some other way to keep it from going all the way in. If a sex toy goes so far into your anus that you can’t reach it, you may need to see a nurse or doctor to get it out. (You can’t lose a sex toy in your vagina because your cervix blocks the end of it.) Don’t use silicone lube with silicone sex toys, unless you put condoms on them. Silicone lube can react with the solid silicone in your toy and damage it. Water-based lube is a safe bet to use with any sex toy (and any condom). Only allow non-porous toys inside you. If you’re putting a sex toy inside your body (mouth, vagina, or anus), it’s best to use one made of a body-safe, non-porous material — like 100% silicone (not silicone blends), hard plastic, stainless steel, aluminum, and break-resistant glass. Toys made from non-porous materials don’t absorb germs and are easier to keep clean. Sex toys made from materials that may be porous, but you can always use a condom on your toy to help it stay clean and keep any possible germs on it out of your body. It’s always best to use sex toys that are specifically made to be sex toys. This is especially if you’re putting them inside your body. DIY sex toys might not be safe, especially if they can break, have rough, sharp, or loose parts, or are made of materials that are unsanitary or can cause a reaction. Where can I buy sex toys? You can buy sex toys at specialty stores, usually called sex shops, sex stores, or adult stores. Some pharmacies, drug stores, or large retail stores sell a small variety of the more common sex toys, like vibrators. Many sex stores and sex toy brands have websites where you can buy products online (they usual

10 Ways To Female Climax.What Kind Of Sex Does Your Woman Want?based on a post by Arse Gratia Artis. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex. The Female OrgasmBeing a man, I'm obviously an expert on what women experience. Although I have never had a female orgasm, I have caused quite a few, and have some observations. I'm going to make a generalization here, and that is that most women, probably excluding committed lesbians, like cum and feel some thrill at getting a guy off. But this isn't about that; it's about what gets women off. And what they say when they're cumming is a whole different topic.What follows is not based upon a random sample nor a scientific study. It isn't random since it includes only women I have enjoyed, and it isn't scientific because it's just observations without analysis. Women's response is highly varied, much more so than men. Here are a few types, although they are not rigid categories; there is overlap. The Inside Girl.She likes foreplay, her clit is sensitive, but if you really want to get her off, you have to fuck her good and hard. Sometimes she cums quickly, sometimes it takes a while, but she always cums from having a cock in her. Like most women, she wants your cum inside, too, and sometimes that makes her cum. The Clit Girl.You could fuck her all day but she won't cum unless you play with her clit. If she says, "I've never had an orgasm with a man inside me," don't take it as a challenge if you ever want to do it again. Just play with her clit or do whatever she needs to get off and you can fill her with cum to your balls' content. Oral Annie.She says, and you can verify if you get close enough, that she only cums from oral. If you're into it, she can be a lot of fun and she'll usually return the favor, or at least let you fill her while she stares at the ceiling. The Sucker.She gets off on getting you off. While these women are rare, they can be a lot of fun. You may get to fuck her sometimes, but mostly she wants to make you cum in her mouth. She usually swallows, and some like facials. Beware, though, that if she won't let you see her naked she may have a good reason. Hard to Please.She takes forever to cum, sometimes to the point of, "Just cum in me." Do it. She's probably tired and needs her rest. But if necessary use a vibrator on her clit, or suck her, or whatever it takes. One variation on this is the girl who gets close, then you either stop or don't do something exactly right and she needs to start over as if nothing has happened. She tends to be demanding. The Analist.You might think a girl who likes taking it in her ass is every man's dream, and I won't deny that I enjoy it. Some women can cum from anal even without other stimulation, which is very hot. However, women are only tight there for the first couple of inches, so a deep anal fuck isn't necessarily as hot as vaginal from a purely physical point of view. Some women use this as a form of birth control. One and Done.She's worse than most men in that once she cums she loses all interest in sex. You need to cum first, then be able to make her cum or you won't get another chance. She can be fun of you're young and stay hard after you cum. While rare, these women are out there. The Squirter.For some women, squirting orgasms are the most amazing and sought-after. Not every woman experiences them, and some not very often. Others require that you keep a supply of towels handy if you get them into your bed. They're usually extremely sexual, and once you're in a relationship with one she'll probably want sex more than you. Nipplegasms.There are a few women who can cum just from nipple play. It takes a while, but from what I hear it can be amazing. One woman explained it thus: "There's a direct line from my nipples to my clit." But I didn't touch her clit until she came from nipple play. Another observation: If a woman lets you play with her breasts, she'll probably let you fuck her. The Normal Woman. My favorite, and I use the term "normal" because a lot of women seem to be in this category. She'll do it all. Suck your cock and swallow. Cum from you giving her oral. Sometimes let you (or ask you to) fuck her ass. She enjoys talking about sex, too. But what she really likes is a good long fuck that gets her off several times, and getting her pussy full of your hot cum. If you're a guy who can cum multiple times in an evening, she'll love you forever. I'm sure there are more, so feel free (so to speak) to add your comments and observations. 

Prone Positions for intimacyBY THE EDITORS OF MEN’S HEALTH. Listen to the ► Podcast at How To Sex.  A fun, new sex position is an easy way to immerse yourself in a sexual experience. Take a much-needed break from stressing about work or the state of the world by attempting something adventurous in the bedroom, like the many sex positions you’ll find on this list. (Don’t worry, we also included fan favorites like missionary, cowgirl, spooning, and doggy style.Which positions should you try next? Start by asking yourself what you’re hoping to achieve by changing up your usual routine. This will guide how you approach this list of sex positions, explains Ian Kerner, sex therapist, and author of; She Comes First; and, So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex.Guys, if you and your woman are looking for positions to help her orgasm, then you want to look for sex positions where you can manually stimulate her clitoris during penetration. “Most women are not going to be able to get highly aroused or have an orgasm unless there’s some kind of clitoral stimulation happening,” Kerner says.Or perhaps you want to explore elements of BDSM (an umbrella term encompassing Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism, and Masochism) with new sex positions. “Some of these positions are great for power play, where you can feel dominant or submissive,” Kerner says.Some of these sex positions are fun to try for novelty’s sake, but not necessarily ideal from start to finish. “You will likely want to mix and match positions,” Kerner says. “You can start in some of the more adventurous and highly athletic positions, but then transition into a less demanding position, where you can fully relax and feel present in the sex you’re having.”If a sex position feels uncomfortable, don’t overdo it. This isn’t a “push through the pain” situation. Just switch to something else! There are plenty of positions here to choose from.These positions are detailed in no particular order, but we’ll need to split this topic into two parts, because of the great variety of expressions on the list. And if we’re just not descriptive enough for those listening to the audio podcast, be sure to pull up the transcript with detailed illustrations of all 56 positions.And now, let’s continue with the next position.Chapter 4: Man On Top 27. MissionaryAlso known as: The Matrimonial, Male Dominant Benefits: We know this one isn't necessarily new to lots of guys, but there's something sort of kinky about doin' it in the most vanilla position of all. Plus, you get lots of eye and body contact. Technique: Men, Your woman lies down on her back, her legs spread enough for you to lay upon her, facing her; with your legs between hers, and your penis penetrating her vagina. The massive skin-to-skin contact triggers oxytocin for both partners and aids deeper sexual arousal. Kissing enhances intimacy and bonding. Her hands are free to stimulate him, why he shifts his weight occasionally from one arm to the other, giving his a free hand for pleasuring her breasts, and other intimate touches. The most commonly used position in the world, the missionary, is an especially intimate position allowing for face-to-face contact. You like it because you can control penetration depth and speed of thrusting. Your woman enjoys feeling your weight on her body, and the maximum skin-to-skin contact.Note that this position can make it more difficult to hold off ejaculation because of the intense friction and deep thrusting. To lengthen lovemaking, start with this, then switch to a position that maintains clitoral pressure without so much pelvic back and forth. Also try: Push up to create space in between you to sneak a small vibrator down for buzzing the top of her mound. Hot tip for him: Raise one of her legs so her knee is level with your right shoulder. Keep her other leg flat on the bed. Thrust toward the inner thigh of her raised leg. This adjustment forces tighter penetration and more clitoral pressure. 28. Quicker Picker UpperAlso known as: The Pillow Driver Benefits: A little bit of variety if missionary begins to feel stale; good upper body exercise. Technique: Men, Place a pillow under the small of her back or her buttocks to tilt her pelvis and change the angle of your penetration for different sensations. Bracing yourself with your hands on the bed as in a push-up position, you take your weight off her body.Hot Tip: Some women love the passionate hammering of her cunt. By adding lumbar support, it give a man more direct impact for vaginal thrusting. It's also helpful for when a woman's belly is larger, such as during the 3rd trimester of pregnancy.Note: Pregnancy often brings out the sexual animal in a woman. Some are insatiable. 29. David CopperfieldAlso known as: Trick and Treat Benefits: This sex position is the “pièce de résistance” for women who prefer a strong, upward stroking motion. Technique: Men, Place a pillow under her hips to tilt her pelvis up. Bend her knees so she can place her feet on your shoulder blades. This experience is all about using both hands and your mouth, drawing out the hidden clitoris from its nest, and lavishing it with tender affection and intense stimulation. Also try: Amplify your oral efforts with a simple sleight-of-hand trick: While you lap away, try using your hands to push gently upward on her abdomen, stretching her skin away from her pubic bone, and helping to coax the head of the clitoris out from beneath the hood. Hot tip: Let your tongue rest firmly and flat against the full length of the vaginal entrance, then have her move and grind against your tongue. 30. Closed For BusinessBenefits: A variation of One Up that allows for slow buildup. Some women who struggle with hyper-sensitive genitals, and who reach orgasm faster than they prefer, will want to regulate the lovemaking foreplay.Technique: Some women find direct clitoral stimulation uncomfortable. Having here close her legs during oral sex may help. The man places his hand above her public mound, applying light pressure, and then rubs his tongue on the area around the clitoris to add indirect stimulation. Hot tip: The man can also try keeping his tongue still while the woman rocks her pelvis back and forth. 31. Magic MountainBenefits: Think the deep penetration of Doggy, with the closeness of Flatiron (great for dirty talk). Women who love anal fun, enjoy the intimacy of her man's heavy breathing and sexy talk in her ear. Technique: Find a low-lying piece of furniture, like an ottoman or a bed. Kneel over it so it provides a bend at the waist (this can also be done with a stack of pillows on the bed). The man kneels behind the woman, entering from behind. He then forms his body to that of the woman’s.Hot tip: Slow. It. Down. Instead of quick thrusting, aim for a slow and steady flow. 32. The SeashellBenefits: This position will provide just about the deepest penetration you can get in a forward-facing position.Technique: Men, You'll need some flexibility for this one. The seashell is very similar to Happy Baby, except a bit more... folded. Start in missionary, and have the woman bring both her legs up by her head. The man then enters facing them, leaning into the woman's legs.Also try: If the stretch becomes a bit too much for the woman, take a break with Happy Baby—where they bend her knees up to 90 degrees. You will both still get the deep penetration that Seashell provides, without the woman feeling like they're tearing up her hamstrings.Hot tip: Place a pillow underneath the woman's hips for more lift—it'll make the bend for the receiving woman a bit more comfortable. 33. The CaptainAlso known as: V is for VictoryBenefits: Deep penetration, G-spot stimulation, and access to the clitoris.Technique: Men, The woman lies on her back and raises her legs in the air. Kneeling, hold her ankles and spread her legs into a V shape before entering her.Also try: Making sure she stretches her hamstrings first.Hot tip: Since your hands are busy holding her legs in place, she should hold a vibrator if she wants to add some added clit stimulation to this position. 34. Doggy StyleAlso known as: Man's Best Friend Benefits: Deep penetration and an erotic view. Technique: Men, This could be your next move after starting in The Flatiron sex position. Entering your kneeling woman from behind, you'll be able to thrust deep, so the tip of your penis touches her cervix, an often-neglected pleasure zone. But you should do this slowly and gently. Some women find it painful. Hot tip for her: She may be able to increase the intensity of your orgasm by pushing her pelvic floor muscles outward, as if trying to squeeze something out of her vagina. This causes the vaginal walls to lower, making the G-spot more accessible. Hot tip for him: Your hands are free to roam her body. Try leaning over her back and reaching her dangling, drooping breasts. Her nipples may become very firm aroused, and engorged. Try stroking her hair, shoulders and back. Reach around her hips to stroke her clit while penetrating her. Hang onto her hips and get aggressive if she likes a rougher pounding. Have some oil or lube handy to massage her anus while you have an excellent view and access. She may want you to explore further in her anus if she’s in the mood for it. 35. The FlatironAlso known as: Downward Dog, The Belly Flop Benefits: Intensifies vaginal pleasure. Technique: Men, Your woman lies face down on the bed, knees slightly bent and hips slightly raised. For comfort, and to increase the angle of her hips, she can place a pillow under her lower abs. You enter her from behind and keep your weight off her body by propping yourself up with your arms. This position creates a snug fit, making you feel larger to your woman. Many men find this position very convenient when they come home late to their sleeping woman. But be advised to use lube on your penis first, and go slow if you’re surprising your woman. Her vagina pro

Creative positions for intimacy: Standing or SittingBY THE EDITORS OF MEN’S HEALTH. Listen to the ► Podcast at How To Sex.  If you suddenly have an itch to try some new sex positions, we’re not surprised. When we recently surveyed 1,229 American men about their sex lives, a third of respondents said they’re feeling more sexually experimental now than before the pandemic began.According to Justin Lehmiller, Kinsey Institute researcher and member of the Men’s Health Advisory Panel, stress could have something to do with the widespread craving for sexual novelty. “When we’re stressed, it’s often harder to feel desire or to stay in the moment, because our mind is distracted and wandering,” Lehmiller says. “Trying something new can create this immersive experience that lets us be in the moment and raises sexual arousal.”A fun, new sex position is an easy way to immerse yourself in a sexual experience. Take a much-needed break from stressing about work or the state of the world by attempting something adventurous in the bedroom, like the many sex positions you’ll find on this list. (Don’t worry, we also included fan favorites like missionary, cowgirl, spooning, and doggy style.)Which positions should you try first? Start by asking yourself what you’re hoping to achieve by changing up your usual routine. This will guide how you approach this list of 56 sex positions, explains Ian Kerner, sex therapist, and author of; She Comes First; and, So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex.If you are looking for positions to help with female orgasm, then you want to look for sex positions where he can manually stimulate her clitoris during penetration. “Most women are not going to be able to get highly aroused or have an orgasm unless there’s some kind of clitoral stimulation happening,” Kerner says.Or perhaps you want to explore elements of BDSM (an umbrella term encompassing Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism, and Masochism) with new sex positions. “Some of these positions are great for power play, where you can feel dominant or submissive,” Kerner says.Some of these sex positions are fun to try for novelty’s sake, but not necessarily ideal from start to finish. “You will likely want to mix and match positions,” Kerner says. “You can start in some of the more adventurous and highly athletic positions, but then transition into a less demanding position, where you can fully relax and feel present in the sex you’re having.”If a sex position feels uncomfortable, don’t overdo it. This isn’t a “push through the pain” situation. Just switch to something else! There are plenty of positions here to choose from.These positions are detailed in 5 chapters, which include standing, sitting, sideways, man-on-top, and woman-on-top.And we’ll need to split this topic into two episodes, because of the great variety of expressions on the list. And if we’re just not descriptive enough for those listening to the audio podcast, be sure to pull up the transcripts with detailed illustrations of all 54 positions.And now, let’s get started with the first position.Chapter 1: Standing Positions The next several positions don't even require a mattress. Often our spontaneous desires won't wait until bedtime. Let's get started.1. Stand and Deliver Also known as: The BicycleBenefits: You can enjoy the view of your penis thrusting.Technique: Men, Stand at the edge of a bed or desk while your woman lies back and raises her legs to her chest. Her knees are bent as if she’s doing a "bicycling" exercise. Grab her ankles and enter her. Thrust slowly, as the deep penetration may be painful for her.Also try: Have your woman place her heels on your shoulders, which will open her hips so her labia press against you Hot tip: Encourage your woman to play with her clitoris manually. Also, show her that she can control your penetration by flexing her thighs. 2. Standing DragonAlso known as: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Serpent Benefits: An ideal position for G-spot stimulation. Seeing the round curves of your woman’s rear tends to be highly erotic for you. Technique: Men, Stand and enter your woman from behind as she poses on all fours on the edge of the bed and arches her back to lift her buttocks. Also try: You can move your legs outside of hers, then use your thighs to squeeze her knees together, which tightens her vagina around your penis. The tightness often enhances the response for both of you. Tip for him: This position also allows you to keep both hands free for pleasuring her backside. Keep some lube handy in case she wants deep anal massaging.  3. Standing OBenefits: Ideal position for all things cunnilingus: clit sucking, rubbing, digital penetration, G-spot stimulation. Technique: Men, While on your knees, have your woman stand up-right. She should then drape one of her legs around your shoulder while you eat her out. Hot tip: Ideally, you want your woman's hands above your head. This can be accomplished through the use of some BDSM restraints. If restraints aren’t her thing, see if you can find an anchored bar or beam for her to grasp.4. Restroom AttendantAlso known as: Drop the Soap Benefits: Good for a quickie at the workplace, a party, or mid-flight. Technique: Men, Slip into a bathroom and ask her to look into the mirror while you enter her from behind. It lets you have eye contact during the G-spot-targeting rear-entry sex position. FYI: Women fantasize about this scenario. 5. Butter ChurnerAlso known as: Squat Thruster Benefits: An extra rush of blood to your woman’s head to increase her ecstasy. Technique: Men, Have your woman lie on her back with her legs raised over her head. This is not a plain Jane position! Squat over her, holding her upraised legs steady; and dip your penis in and out of her vagina. Be extra careful to thrust lightly to avoid stressing her neck—Kerner warns this position could potentially result in a neck injury. The side armrest of a sofa might help create a position similar to this with less physical exertion. Warning: Most men’s erect penises have limits to how much they can bend downward. If this position is painful, stop before your penis ruptures internally and needs emergency surgery. Also try: By removing yourself fully, you'll give your woman the extremely pleasurable feeling of you first entering her over and over again. Hot tip: Novelty ignites passion by increasing your brain's levels of dopamine, a neurotransmitter linked to romance and sex drive, says biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, PhD. The Butter Churner qualifies for novelty, but you don't need to go to such extremes to sustain romance. Anything that's new and different will do the trick.6. Couch SurferAlso known as: The Lazy Susan Benefits: Convenient for a quickie and adds spice outside the bedroom. Technique: Men, Ask your woman to bend her body over the arm of a couch as you enter her from behind. She can grind on the firm but cushy arm for multiple stimulation with minimal effort. Also try: Have her cross her ankles. This will squeeze her vaginal and gluteal muscles tightly around your penis. FYI: This is safer than the Butter Churner, but similar.7. Yourself on the ShelfAlso known as: The Bicycle Benefits: “You can enjoy the view of your penis thrusting inside of your woman, and this position really allows for direct clitoral stimulation,” says Kerner. FYI: This position requires a man with enough strength to hold his woman safely, while she gyrates up and down on his penis. Technique: Men, Have your woman perch her butt right on the edge of a bed, chair, counter, or table. With you standing in front, you can enter her. Then have her wrap her legs around you. From there, stand up-right, placing your hands firmly around her back to support your woman without injuring your penis. Also Try: If you don’t have the quad and glute muscles to pull this position off, just keep your woman on the edge of a counter, table, or other furnishing, penetrating her there. Hot Tip: It’s a great way to finish having sex. Since the position is strenuous, try moving to it 30-60 seconds before you and your woman are about to orgasm. Caution: Have a safe emergency landing spot near you(bed or sofa), in case you have an injury or lose your balance. 8. BallerinaAlso called Ballet Dancer Benefits: Erotic move for quickies in tight quarters. Good option for outdoor sex. Allows for easier penetration. Your woman has control of thrusting, depth, and angle. Technique: Men, You stand facing one another. Your woman raises one of her legs up and wraps it around your buttocks or thigh and pulls you into her with her leg. Also try: If that wrapped leg gets tired, cradle it with your arm. If your woman is very flexible, lift her leg over your shoulder. Hot tip: Try this standing position in a hot shower, if you have something to hang onto. During the steamy foreplay, rub each other's entire body with a coarse scrub to stimulate nerve endings and blood flow. 9. Iron ChefAlso known as: Kitchen Confidential Benefits: Good sex position for a quickie with deep penetration. Technique: Men, Help your woman up on the counter, seated facing you, with her panties removed. She sits on the edge of the counter and wraps her arms around you while you enter her from in front. Bathrooms and kitchens are the two most popular locations for this coupling, but Dining tables and workbenches are also a thrill.A variation between The Ballet Dancer and Yourself on a Shelf; in which your woman raises her legs up and wraps them around your butt or thighs. Your kitchen counter is often the perfect height for this standing-to-seated appetizer. Tip for him: Women often fantasize about being ravaged by her man while preparing him a special meal. Watch for signals, like a scantily dressed, or suggestive-talking woman in the kitchen. Kissing keeps her cooking! 10. H2 Oh YeahAlso known as: Aquaman's Delight, Water Sex Benefits: Good for an outdoors quickie, while still avoiding prying eyes. Te

Why creepy guys often don't get laid, even at a swingers’ clubBy Hord Holm. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex. I've been to a Swinger Club on roughly a dozen occasions, so perhaps not enough to count myself as an expert. But perhaps enough to have observed some common behaviors, and these are what I want to address here, particularly in relation to single guys who go to Swinger Clubs.The Swinger Club ScenarioWhat usually happens is that my husband suggests that we go to our preferred club about a week ahead of time (or further out, if there is an enticing theme advertised for a particular night.)We make our reservation, and then I wonder: what kind of night will it be? It will either be a great night, lots of fun with amiable strangers, or it will be a night for just me and my hubby because of a Plague of Creepy Guys, who we will have to spend at least part of the evening avoiding.But what, pray, does this Plague of Creepy Guys look like?I need to start by outlining how a Swinger Club will usually be laid out. The Club is most likely divided into three zones.The first zone is the Bar and Social Zone. Sex might happen there, but the main purpose of this zone is for patrons to relax, buy expensive drinks, which brings in one half of the Club's profit margin, and get to know each other.The second zone is the Spa Zone, with a sauna, massage area, perhaps a hot tub or even an indoor pool. Sex might happen here, too, but often the Club regulations will prohibit sex in the hot tub or pool, if there is one, for hygiene reasons.The third zone is the 'Action Zone,' which is where most of the fucking will occur. There will be separate rooms offering greater or lesser privacy, perhaps with themes or pieces of equipment, mirrored walls and ceilings, etc.On arriving at the Club, the average patron will head for one of the first two areas until they feel like heading for the Action Zone. And it's then that the Plague of Creepy Guys will be encountered. This Plague will most likely be really off-putting to the first couples who enter the Action Zone, though they may be less of an issue once a greater number of couples, or perhaps even threesomes & groups, are scattered about.But we have to ask a question: why is everyone at the Club?Well, to get laid, of course! Though there may be the occasional patron who is there more as a voyeur; in which case, the following isn't really addressed to them. And if that's you, then have fun and don't be too creepy about it. Those patrons looking to get laid are divided into three groups; couples, single men, and single women.However, single women are generally rarer than hen's teeth! I have seen one in the times I've attended clubs, and talking to more regular attendees one in twelve visits is actually better than average. And when we consider it, that's hardly a surprise as it must take some pretty tough chops as a single woman to walk into a Swinger Club and put oneself in that situation without anyone on one's 'side'. Hell, I’m adventurous, but I would never go without my man!This leaves us with a clientele divided between couples and single guys, and thus there are, by definition, pretty much always more men than women in the Club; unless it's a couples-only night. And this factor, the outnumbering of women by men, is the basis of the Plague of Creepy Guys.Describing the ‘Creepy Guy’For the purposes of this piece, the Creepy Guy can be defined as follows: he can be young or old, handsome or a broken-down old wreck, or anything in between, but his defining characteristics are his silence and an air of desperation. He wanders around the Action Zone seeking to interpose himself on couples (or threesomes, or occasionally groups), with his cock in his hand and his mouth hanging half open, and at no point does he say anything.Now, I get it. Single guys are the bread and butter of Swinger Clubs (indeed, they are the other half of the Club's profit margin). They pay a premium to get in and they want to get their money's worth. Single guys aren't necessarily Creepy Guys, either, but if they are they can be absolute pests.Perhaps the Creepy guy is proud that he doesn’t spend the money on a cheap hooker or a lap dance. But he sees this entry charge as something which entitles him to a return on investment. Yet the women guests don’t owe Creepy Guy nothing!On his own, the Creepy Guy; unless particularly persistent, can be largely ignored. But when they start prowling around the Action Zone in packs?What usually happens is that a couple feels like getting it on, they go into the Action Zone and find a place to get jiggy, a Creepy Guy spots them, and through some weird telepathic process all the other Creepy Guys activate, and as a group they mob the couple, at a distance, thankfully; and become an off-putting crowd staring, hoping, wanking, gazing at the woman like dying men in the Sahara who've seen the promised oasis.At this point, many of the couples retreat back to the Bar, and let someone else deal with the Plague instead.So then the Creepy Guys go into standby mode, waiting for the next couple to enter the Action Zone, activating when they do, and following them around like a bunch of stalkers, waiting for the outside chance that they might be invited to join in. This is, after all, their ultimate aim.Finally, when enough couples are enjoying one other; the Plague becomes less noticeable, and the atmosphere usually improves a notch or two.But you see the problem here? The Creepy Guys are self-defeating, by and large.There is the occasional woman who is fine with beckoning one of these horny lurkers to spread her legs, and sometimes there might be a particular themed night designed for such women to avail themselves of numbers of such men.In truth, the Gangbang Night, or whatever other name might be accorded to it; is probably the best night for single men to attend the Swinger Club and get lucky. But even then, success is not a given.Thus, there are many men who pay a large entrance fee, and find themselves with an expensive bar bill, which is due upon his departure. He pays, but he’s not had any action. They can be naturally disappointed, and sometimes they even take to forums to complain that they haven't been laid despite the money they've spent.And so to the point: how can one minimize the chances of being one of those men?A side note here: down at the Swinger Club we understand that other folks are going to ogle at us while we're getting it on. We might even welcome it, and often we do. Though, if we don't welcome oglers, and we try to find a more discreet corner; then perhaps it might be better to just let us get busy in peace. Please. If my man and I do decide to enlarge our circle, it’s usually to connect with another couple, not some out-of-town sales rep.Porn Star LooksSo, you want to get lucky? Well, the first thing to note is that, as alluded to above, you can wander around a Swinger Club looking buff and tanned, as if you've stepped out of an expensive production, but that doesn't guarantee you success, and if you believe it does; then prepare yourself for disappointment. It should also be noted that us women in a Swinger Club are likely not to be America's Next Top Model either: swingers are, basically, ordinary people. We are your neighbors, who just happen to have a sexual interest in people other than our regular partners.So, 'Mr. Buff and Tanned and God's Gift to Phillies', if you do make contact with a woman in the Club don't turn her down merely because she doesn't meet your exacting standards. Of course, if you don't fancy someone that's perfectly fine, but don't go in expecting the impossible.One problem is, that you may have got your image of what a Swinger Club looks like from PornHub, or from reading stories on this or other sites. Don't assume that either the films you've seen or the stories you've read reflect reality.When a writer crafts a story about a Swinger Club there's no guarantee they've ever been to one, and even if they go week-in, week-out that doesn't mean they are writing reality -- by and large they are creating a fantasy. Don't fall into the trap of believing that an author's fantasy is anything more than, at its most realistic, an exaggeration.The same goes for video: when a production company rocks up at a Swinger Club they will either ask for volunteers from the clientele who want to feature in their production (they will have done this some time in advance), or they will have hired talent to pretend to be swingers. Usually, it will be some combination of hired talent and genuine swingers. When it comes to the genuine swingers, though, it must be assumed that the production company will do what they can to pick the better-looking ones from those who have agreed to participate. Thus, what one sees in the final production doesn't necessarily reflect what an average group of swingers might look like, and it's best to assume that the group on film are generally better-looking than the swingers in the Club on the night you attend.That isn't to say that swingers look like the back end of a bus, and I don't want to suggest that they do. But it is to point out that the likelihood is that the swingers you will see in a "Swingers' Report" or "Real Swingers' Club" type of production have been hired and selected. Fantasy stories on Lit, and videos on PornHub or its ilk are not reality.The bottom line that I'm trying to get to is that looks mean little. Well, no, actually that's not true... The real bottom line is that looks mean nothing if you don't:CommunicateRemember up above, when we examined what the average Swinger Club is likely to look like? There are usually three zones and the first one is a Bar and Social Zone. This is where Creepy Guy often makes his most basic mistake. The number of guys I've seen who take up position in the Bar and Social Zone, beer in hand, and then simply stare at any woman who happens to be there.Of course, they never actual

Ms. Evangelina Vargas advises wives who want to be “hot.” By vargas 1 1 1. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex. This topic comes up more often than our society is comfortable with. To illustrate the matter, imagine the scenario of a couple of 50 year old English gentlemen down at the corner pub; when one of them says; “Nigel, I don’t know how to say this, but I have it on reliable certitude that your wife has been shagging a younger bloke from church.” To which Nigel responds with a relaxed breath; “Well, at least someone is shagging her.” Some men just lack the libido of their spouse, especially decades after the peak of a man’s virility of the early twenties. More than a few marriages dissolve in a painful betrayal and severe disruption of a cohesive home. It’s even more traumatic when kids lose a 2-parent cohesion, because mom and dad couldn’t work out a satisfying sexual arrangement. We’re presenting the expert advice of well-known ‘hot wife,’ Evangelina Vargas, to weigh in on the issue, for those of you who relate to the conundrum. Guidelines for Happily Married Hot Wives By Evangelina Vargas, with contributions from Dawn MWF 4 Blk Okay, you have heard about being a “hot wife.” It sounds sexy but a little scary, too. You have lots of questions and uncertainties and many women have written my brother, Homer Vargas, for advice. Well, he has asked me to reply because this is something better handled between us girls. With two grown daughters, one kid in kindergarten, one in nursery school, and a bun in the oven, I’ve “been there, done that.” Why? Probably your first question is “Why should I become a ‘hot wife?’” There are many reasons but the most important one is, love. You have a wonderful husband whom you love more than anything in the world. You want to please him, to make him happy. You think that he might like a hot wife, but maybe you are not sure. What if he thinks you are a slut? Put that out of your mind, sweetie. Take it from me; if your husband is a heterosexual male, he wants a hot wife. If he is not heterosexual (or is a little underpowered sexually), there may be other reasons for you to become a hot wife, but I will not deal with those here. Men want hot wives; therefore you want to become the woman he wants. Besides wanting to please your man, it’s also a matter of elementary justice. Your husband deserves a hot wife. He has made a commitment to you. He loves you above all other women. He has promised to be faithful to you, giving up pussy from all those other little hotties he was fucking before he met you. You owe him at least the sexual satisfaction he could be getting from those other women if he were still “on the loose.” In addition, being a hot wife should be a matter of personal fulfillment. You are a woman and you want to be the best, the sexiest, the most feminine woman possible. Becoming a hot wife; an ever hotter hot wife; will give meaning and purpose to your life, releasing you from self-centeredness and ennui. Then, too, being a hot wife is a very healthy lifestyle. To become and remain a hot wife, you will have to exercise daily, watch what you eat, maintain your body in top form. Dieting and physical fitness will not seem like a chore when you keep in mind that you are honing your body for your adored husband’s sexual gratification. You are not just a “sex object”; and proud of being a damn good one, you are a sex object d'art! Moreover, being a hot wife is to your material advantage. You want the good things of life: a nice house, fancy clothes, travel, fine food. So how does being a hot wife get you these things? Simple, honey. To acquire the material possessions you want, you need a financially successful husband. And nothing contributes to a man’s success more than having a hot wife. For one thing, a hot wife at home does wonders for a man’s self-confidence. After a night with you, he walks into that boardroom or law office or shop floor and looks around knowing that no other man in that room has a wife as hot as his! No one else, only a few hours ago, had a woman riding his cock, screaming his name in ecstasy as she orgasmed over and over, begging him to fuck her longer, harder. A man with a couple of good early-morning fucks like that under his belt can kick ass and get other men to do things his way. But in addition to his self-confidence, the reputation of having a hot wife will give your husband leg up in any encounter with other men. Remember, men are competitive, always measuring themselves against other men. When his rivals and co-workers know your husband has a hot wife, it gives him prestige and allows him to get his way. He’ll be the one chosen for the highest bonus, the promotion, the challenging assignment that leads to advancement. And of every dollar he earns, 75% to 80% will be spent on YOU, his loving hot wife. (Of course if you are a hot high income professional that will further boost your husband’s career.) There is another reason as well that must be mentioned, girls, even though it’s not too pleasant. You need to be a hot wife in self-defense. Knowledge that your man is married immediately makes him a much more attractive target for other women. For some women, knowing a man is able to make a commitment causes their claws to grow. Tired of boyfriends whom they have screwed for months or years only to see them slip from their clutches; these women may figure that here is a man who has proven catchable. For others, it’s just the opposite. They know you have your guy well tied down and he’s not likely to get serious when all a girl wants is sex. And the way you look and act indicates that at least one other woman (you) has found him highly satisfactory in the sex department. Yummy! Still other women seek out married men because they know that married men are likely to be sexually unsatisfied. Sad to say, most women (you are going to be a glorious exception) cut back on the frequency and nastiness of sex once they have “landed” a guy, leaving the poor schmuck flopping around in frustration like a fish out of water. Finally, and this is paradoxical, the very success that your husband achieves thanks to your being his hot wife, makes him a more desirable prey. There are hundreds of sexy, slutty women out there wanting to take your husband from you and you have to be sexier and sluttier than they are, to keep him! How? Now that you understand the reasons to become a hot wife, the important question is, “how.” First, and this is almost too elementary for me to have to mention but many women miss this point: SEX. Yes! You will want to make love, have sex, fuck, screw, boink, shag, get it on, “do it” with your husband every time he can get it hard. Any woman can out-fuck any number of men; so there is no reason for your husband ever to be horny if your cunt is around. The key to a happy, successful, faithful husband is enough sex to keep his eyes crossed. Almost more important than the frequency and nastiness (we’ll get to that later) of sex is to make sure he understands that you want sex it because HE is a macho sexy Neanderthal stud. You are not doing him a favor (although you are!). These are not just frequent mercy fucks. You are fucking him because he turns you on. He makes you hot. He makes you want sex. He makes you NEED sex! With such a man, you are a sex slave! Now let’s talk about what kind of sex to have with your husband starting with what kind not to have. It will NOT be once a week, in the bedroom, missionary position, lights out, “think of England” while he empties his balls in you. No! You are so burning with lust for your husband that you will want him to take you on the shag rug in the living room, on the dining table, bending over in the kitchen, draped over the back of the sofa in the family room, in the shower. You have a totally irresistible desire to let him eat you and an almost irresistible desire to give him blowjobs (you swallow greedily), tempered only by the thought that each load of cum in your mouth is one less in your needy cunt. You are multi-orgasmic, or will fake it until you train yourself to become so. You are a moaner and a groaner and a squealer and a screamer. You claw his back in ecstasy. You like it doggie style, riding his cock, legs bent behind you head or heels (6" stilettos) in the air. He can call you every filthy name in the book if it gets you a harder cock and a more cum pumped into your needy cunt. You put every porn movie he’s ever seen to shame. Because you want to fuck your husband so desperately, all the time, you are constantly looking for ways to excite him, to entice him, to make him want to fuck you. This means taking the initiative, seducing him! You will want to have a collection of sexy nightwear and scandalous casual wear for around the house that signal your constant horniness. Seldom is total nudity best. Always keep on a necklace, bracelets, and your heels during sex. Cleanliness is good and perfume is great, but never wash off or cover up the womanly scent of an aroused cunt. Be proud of how wet he makes you and put up with the mess. Of course you do not stop being a hot wife when your hubby is off making money for you to spend. A true hot wife would not be able to go through a long day without her man if she did not have toys to keep her sane. Dildos and vibrators will keep you simmering and ready for his return. Masturbation is also important to help you become or remain multi-orgasmic. And of course he likes to know that while he is away, you are missing him so badly you need a large cylindrical object up your twat. As you get into being a hot wife, seeing how proud and happy your husband is, you will gain self-confidence about displaying your body. You may decide to start taking out the trash early in the morning wearing only a flimsy nightie. You may want to shop for groceries in a short shift that lets anyone see you have nothing on beneath it but your stockings and heels. If you w

 Do you seek to be comfortable in your body, or be just a piece of meat? By Zahra Barnes & Dr Nikki Goldstein. Listen to the podcast at How To Sex. Getting naked with a mixed social group might be a tantalizing item on your bucket list, but the options can be radically different, and lead to disappointment, even betrayal and abandonment. To the person who’s never seriously considered getting naked in a large mixed group, perhaps all the options seem the same. But where some groups, like swingers clubs; gather with the intent of openly sexual interactions; Naturist and nudist clubs specifically ban public sexuality. Even an innocent erection might be frowned upon and the guy might be asked to step apart from the women while he’s turgid.Some naturists clubs have an unspoken bias against any male arousal. They even tend to blame an erect man for proliferating a ‘rape culture’. But at the swingers club, the turgid male; especially if heavily endowed; is almost revered. A man or woman whose physique is rather ‘unremarkable’ may end the event feeling disappointed and inferior. It’s perhaps that ‘meat-market’ culture which diverts many people to the non-sexual naturist clubs. A man with a considerably small cock, hidden in a thick pubic bush, has little to fear at a Naturist club. You might see more women than men at a naturist club, but you’ll definitely see way more men at a swinger club. That’s what leads a modestly-endowed man to give up on the swingers club, unless he’s there with his devoted female life partner. But let’s hear from a young woman who has created a naturist society for younger adults. Zahra Barnes shares her report on the club that Felicity Jones started. Naturism Liberated Me This Is What It's Like To Live Most of Your Life Naked I firmly believe that if you want to experience euphoria sans drugs, all you have to do is take off your bra after a long workday. And post-shower, you can often find me wrestling my freshly-lotioned legs into a pair of jeans, muttering questions like, "Why can't I just live my life naked?" The thing is, I can. And some people do. Nudists and naturists participate in plenty of normal activities like swimming, camping, and karaoke without clothes. The degrees of nudity vary; some people are naked pretty much all the time, while others reserve it for social events every so often. But to hear them tell it, life is much better in the nude. While you may have heard of nudists, chances are you're a little less familiar with naturists. Although the terms are often used interchangeably, some people believe certain nuances classify them as two different bodies. "We define nudism as being more about the actual nudity, while naturism has more of a philosophy behind it," Felicity Jones, 27, a resident of Long Island City, N.Y. and co-founder of Young Naturists America, YNA, tells SELF. "It’s about accepting people as they are, and also promoting the values of respecting other people and the environment." Of course, most naturists can't be naked all the time, because laws exist and being naked in jail doesn't sound particularly comfortable. But when they can, they do, and they enjoy the hell out of it. Let's clear one thing up: Naturism's not about sex. Sometimes it's easiest to define naturism by describing what it's not. "A lot of people imagine that it’s this amped up sexual environment, like people are having sex in the open or having orgies," says Felicity. "It’s not like that at all. There’s a time and place for everything," she says, while noting that YNA has "very rarely" had to kick people out of events because they're acting inappropriately. Stateside nudism and naturism have their roots in the American Association for Nude Recreation, which was founded in 1931. With an spotlight on "wholesome nude family recreation," the organization's mission is "to advocate nudity and nude recreation in appropriate settings while educating and informing society of their value and enjoyment," according to their website. Similar institutions cropped up after, like The Naturist Society, which was founded in 1980. If you're like, wait, record scratch, people are advocating me getting naked with my family? You're not alone. But as someone who grew up in a home where bodies weren't a thing to be hidden; we weren't naturists by any stretch of the imagination, but I wasn't taught to fear or shame nudity; I can see why this is worthwhile. So can Felicity, who grew up with a nudity-embracing family in New Jersey, and laughingly calls herself a "third-generation naturist." She co-founded YNA in 2010, and to date, they have around 400 members in the States and internationally. In addition to raising awareness about naturism, they put on events like the nude, public Bodypainting Day this coming July 9th, in New York and Amsterdam. Misconceptions about the naturist lifestyle can have far-reaching implications. "When I post naked photos of myself online, I have to deal with sexual harassment, cock pics, and people assuming that because I’m naked I must be looking for sex," says Felicity. And while running YNA is her full-time job, her partner and co-founder works in sales. "His boss and coworkers all know [he's a naturist], but his boss wasn’t comfortable with him using his real name because people will Google before doing business with him," she says. Even though naturism's intentions are innocent, it can be hard for people to see it that way. So, no, naturism isn't a cover for massive, wild orgies. Felicity and her co-founder started it in the hopes of filling a void in modern nudity-focused communities. "We didn’t want it to be just about getting naked, but creating a body-positive environment and combatting body shame," she says. Lose the clothes, gain self-esteem? Naturism fits beautifully into a society that's increasingly open to the idea that "perfection" doesn't exist. "Being a naturist forces you to accept who you see in the mirror," Serenity Hart, 26, a naturist and nude model in New York, tells SELF. Growing up as a black girl, she loathed the color of her skin and the texture of her hair. "I wished I could change who I was every day, until I found nude modeling," she says. "It challenged me to look past the things I couldn't change, but also learn how to embrace them. Nudity has changed my life." A big fan of naturism's confidence-boosting effects, Serenity wants to spread the message. Like basically everything else in the 21st century, she's using the Internet to do it. Serenity offers Naked Skype Sessions for $30 an hour, or a package deal of $120 for five sessions. She stumbled upon the idea when she answered a friend's Skype call while in the nude. "At first she was uncomfortable and embarrassed for me even apologized and covered her eyes," says Serenity. Then, they got to talking about where this deeply ingrained negative reaction to nudity comes from. "I asked her to join me in being naked, and she did. So, Naked Skype was born," Serenity explains. "There is nothing more vulnerable than being completely present with a friend or stranger in the nude. No labels, no facade, no judgments, just openness and embracing your true self." She currently has 10 sessions per week with men and women around the world, usually talking about self-love and how to foster positive body image. "The sense of empowerment makes it all worth it for me," she says. That emphasis on healthy self-image is a cornerstone of YNA's philosophy. That's largely because Felicity realized how beneficial nudity had been to her growing up when she and her family attended the Rock Lodge Nudist Club in northern New Jersey. "I saw the human body in so many different forms," she says. "I wasn’t so influenced by this culture that says if you don’t have a certain body type, you shouldn’t be taking off your clothes." This is especially important for women. "A lot of the nudity taboo is about female breasts and genitals. People don’t see those parts on actual average bodies, so they can have a lot of anxiety," says Felicity. Growing up as a naturist, she was able to appreciate how broad the private-part spectrum is. "You see that they come in all shapes and sizes and can be as unique as a person’s face. That alleviates a lot of body shame and anxiety," she says. Given that American teenagers are more frequently asking for their labia to be trimmed, this message is more crucial than ever; especially because in general, women's labia are perfect just the way they are. Another essential part of naturism is bonding with the environment. "For me, it's about being able to connect with nature in a way that is impossible while bound in material," Sheila, a 31 year old naturist in Northampton, tells SELF. "It's a chance to be wild and forget all the artificial day-to-day things that people fill their lives with." But one of her other favorite parts of naturism is that she can engage in recreational activities with people who hold the same feelings about how restrictive clothing can be. "My first time playing at  a pool table without a top was interesting," she says. "I never knew how boobs can get in the way when trying to play!" Even before talking to these women, I considered myself extremely accepting of nudity. But after digging deeper and discovering the lifestyle's confidence-related benefits, I see that nudity can solve so much more than the fact that pants can feel like leg prisons. I have to admit that when Felicity invited me to participate in the upcoming Bodypainting Day event, the opportunity sparked some temptation. But in the end, I had to say no. Even though my self-esteem is quite solid, I'm not brave enough to show the world everything I've got. Although I'll be keeping the rest of my clothes on, my hat's off to anyone who is. Now let’s hear from Dr. Nikki Goldstein, about the real culture of many

How Many Positions Have You Tried?By silk stockings lover. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex. Several classic books detail the dozens of positions for fucking. In the 70’s, The Joy of Sex was a big hit.It inspired great fucking, and some occasional trips to the emergency room, with some embarrassing admissions, especially at the Catholic hospitals where nuns circulated and prayed for injured patients.But most couples fell deeper in love with each other, and late night tv ratings dropped, as couples turned in earlier.Today we’re inviting silk stockings lover to talk to us about sexual variety, particularly sex positions. Her many presentations have helped many couples turn boredom and monotony into exciting new adventures in coupling. Her she is.Sex PositionsMost couples end up using one, two or three positions over and over.Which, by the way, makes sense.They work.But sticking to the variety is the spice of life concept of this essay; the best way to do that is to explore the hundreds of positions you can try.Some new ones you will love.Some new ones you will not.Some will be like how the fuck would that even work.But just trying something new together is fun.Don't take it seriously.Have fun.Laugh.Communicate.Know when to give up if a position isn't working or isn't comfortable for one of you. Don't keep doing it if you are uncomfortable; sex should be enjoyable for both parties.Acknowledge that this will be a lengthier encounter likely and if all goes to hell in a handbasket you can always go back to three go-to positions or do oral.No reason you both shouldn't get off regardless of how well or how bad a new position goes.While you can buy entire books on positions (I have a position per day book which has some great positions, you can find positions online and even on apps, I will offer you ten that I think are great ones to both enjoy and mixed it up a little without getting too wild.A. The CorkscrewThis is one of our now go to positions. For one, he likes standing up during sex for some reason; I don't really.But I do like being on my side for sex; so this one is a great compromise for what we both like.I position myself at the edge the bed. I bend my ass so my cunt is easily accessible while I usually grab a pillow for my head. He stands on the side of the bed and slides into me.For some reason, he tells me I feel tighter this way.Also, I should note, he comes faster this way.Fun variation: I will put my vibrator pressing against my clit during this position to really experience intense pleasure inside and out.B. The PiledriverNow I'm not sure if there is a better name for it; or an official name; but this is without a doubt my husband's favourite position and can be done pretty easily in a variety of places. Like the corkscrew he is usually standing, although not always, and I am usually at the edge of the bed.He grabs me by the ankles, pulls my legs and feet together and then simply penetrates from this position. Because my legs are together sliding inside can be more challenging so I recommend either penetrating the vagina first or having some lube generously lathered on the penis.Once in, he can control the depth and angle and I am his submissive fuck toy. The stimulation in this position is great for me as well.A major bonus is he can rest his body against my nylon-clad legs, caress them and even kiss, lick and smell my stocking-clad toes.Fun variation: he can continue to hold my ankles, spread me wide and pile drive me that way.C. The DragonI love this position. For one, it is a very submissive position. I used to call it the pile driver part two; although they are very different positions and stimulations.In this position, I lay on my stomach on a bed (this position you definitely need to be on a bed), and he lies on top of me and penetrates me from the top. (Obviously, this would be a great position for anal as well, but we are discussing vaginal penetration here).My man will start slow, actually even moving his body in slight circular motions that find a way to stimulate my entire vagina. While doing this he is usually kissing my neck and this begins as a very intimate encounter.Eventually, once I am begging for him to fuck me, to give it to me, to pound me, to pile drive me, the encounter shifts from sweet and sensual to raw intense fucking.As he pounds me, his body slamming into mine with each deep thrust by body meets him as he has me bouncing around like a raggedy Ann doll. It is exhilarating and always leads to great orgasms for both of us.Fun variation: be careful with this one as I knocked the wind out of myself when my man shifted from slow to fast; but a small vibrator or one of those new tiny clit focused toys (I need to get one of those) directly on your clit will enhance the pleasure and have you talking nasty and going ballistic when you reach orgasm.D. Magic MountainThis one takes a little work to get into the right position, but the rewards are great. This is one of the most intimate positions as you can admire each other's bodies or make sweet eye contact.The man sits on his ass, bends his legs, leans back in his hands and forearms. The woman does the same thing. Each person then moves closer to each other until the penis slides inside the vagina.This position can be slow and sensual. More a making love than a fucking. Eventually, the encounter shifts from sensual to raw as the woman can grind her clitoris on the lover's pelvis. We have tried this a couple of times; but my lack of coordination makes it never get overly smooth; as does his impatience to fuck hard. That said, it is a great position; especially for women.E. Doggy styleI know what you are thinking? Doggy style? Not really overly interesting. Point taken. Yet, this position is overly underrated for its simplicity, and yet that is why it is such a damn good position.I'll explain it in case we have some rare virgins reading here, but I simply get on all fours, sometimes I have a pillow before me to bury my face in when he really is giving it to me and I'm near eruption. He simply moves behind me on his knees, although he often moves to one knee when he really begins to fuck me and slides in my cunt (yes, this is also one of the best anal positions and the one we use the most the rare time I allow myself to be sodomized; I like that word. This position again puts me in the submissive position as a receiver and his cock can get incredibly deep in my cunt stimulating every erogenous touch point.Fun variation 1: I can take some control by bouncing back and fucking him. I don't do this much and if I do not for long, but it is a nice variation and gives him a brief rest while showing him just how hungry I am for his cock.Fun variation 2: as always, a toy can greatly assist the woman when it is placed against her clit as she is fucked.Fun variation 3: while already mentioned, I'll repeat this is a good anal position.F. The WheelbarrowNow this is a real workout for both; especially the woman. Last time we did this I only lasted thirty seconds as I just don't have a lot of upper body strength. That said, if you can do this one, even for a brief amount of time, it is worth it. Although I suggest you google it for a better image, the basic concept is the female gets on all fours on the floor. The person doing the fucking then lifts up the person on all fours by the pelvis. This position allows the penis to go incredibly deep and at angles that stimulate unlike almost any other position. Or you can do this position besides an intense satisfying fucking, you will get a great arm workout.G. The SeashellGod, I miss being flexible. This used to be my favorite position back in my youth although I called it the pretzel for obvious reasons (apparently there is another position called pretzel). The woman lays in her back with her legs rises way up so the ankles cross behind her head (which is something I can no longer do). The man then can slide in easily and go so deep; I mean really fucking deep.Fun Variation: use a toy on the clit to make the orgasm come quick and intense.H. Face-OffThis one is quite intimate and the control is in the hands, or more accurately, the cunt of the woman. The male sits on the edge of the bed or a chair. The woman sits on his lap facing him and wrapping her arms around him. Besides the fact that you can kiss him, he can kiss your neck, the woman has the control. She can choose the angle the cock goes in, she can choose the depth of entry and the part of the ride.Fun variation: As mentioned you can make out, look deep into each other's eyes, have your hands roam.I. Butter churnedNow I should say I have never tried this one, and alas never will at my age, body shape and lack of flexibility; alas to be young again. But described as a must in a female orgasm stimulation site this one looks amazing and I imagine would give the lady amazing orgasms.The woman lies on her back her legs raised and folded over so that their ankles are on the side of her head (you can likely see this would be challenging for many women). The man straddling her legs slides in.This one is also very submissive and the giver is in complete control. He can quickly change angles to stimulate the woman's cunt differently and completely controls the depth; and I imagine this position the cock can go so fucking deep.Another bonus you can get great eye contact and watch this one throughout for an intimate or raw experience.Fun variation: Not my idea, but I will be trying this in another position soon, have the giver pour something delicious into your mouth like chocolate syrup, whip cream or even fruit. Apparently this will get more senses involved and increase the intensity of the experience. (Currently added to my sex fuck-it list).J. 69Surprised?Not all sexual positions have to include penetration.And, for me, a 69, is one of the most romantic and intimate positions.Also, one of the rare positions where both are equals in the giving and rece

Identify the 18 worst traits, early. Based on posts by Emma Mills and Sinitta Weston. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex. Dating can be a thrilling adventure, full of exciting possibilities. But it’s important to be aware of potential red flags that might signal a less-than-ideal partner. While everyone has their quirks, some behaviors can be toxic and detrimental to a healthy relationship. You may have a great sexual chemistry, but partnership is a bonding of your souls. To that end, finding emotional intimacy is a bigger challenge than sexual intimacy. Relationships are hard enough without choosing a partner who adds unnecessary drama and toxicity. It’s good to have standards and protect your own peace! 18 Types Of Women Who Make Terrible PartnersBy Emma MillsLet’s break down some of the types of women who are likely to create more headaches than happiness in the long run. 1. The woman who plays the victim in every situation.Nothing is ever her fault. She constantly blames her problems on bad luck, other people, or circumstances outside her control. This lack of accountability makes growth and healthy conflict resolution impossible in a relationship, Esther Perel points out.2. The woman who refuses to compromise.Relationships take compromise, but she’s a “my way or the highway” kind of person. Her needs and desires always come first, and if you don’t bend over backwards to accommodate them, you’re labeled selfish or uncaring. 3. The chronically jealous and insecure woman.Some jealousy is normal, but she takes it to an extreme. She constantly needs reassurance, accuses you of being interested in others, checks your phone, and tries to isolate you from friends. A relationship built on distrust and possessiveness instead of mutual respect is doomed. 4. The woman who can’t be alone.She rushes from one relationship to the next and hates being single. This often stems from insecurity and an inability to be alone with her own thoughts. These relationships tend to be intense, codependent, and lack healthy boundaries. 5. The emotionally manipulative woman.She’s a master at using guilt trips, tears, or withholding affection to get what she wants. Healthy relationships are built on honest communication, not manipulation. It’s exhausting trying to navigate her ever-changing emotions to avoid upsetting her.6. The woman who sees every past relationship as the “crazy ex.”If a string of exes have all been “crazy,” “unreasonable,” or “total narcissists,” it’s likely not them – it’s her. She refuses to own her role in past relationship breakdowns, which is a recipe for repeating those same patterns with you. 7. The woman who needs to be the center of attention.She thrives on drama and needs all eyes on her. She might interrupt conversations, make everything about herself, or even stir up conflict just to get a reaction. It’s impossible to feel like an equal partner with someone this self-absorbed. 8. The woman who refuses to apologize or admit when she’s wrong.Mistakes happen, but she takes any admission of fault as a sign of weakness. She’ll twist situations to paint herself as the victim, even when clearly in the wrong. Relationships can’t grow without two people taking responsibility for their actions.9. The woman who gossips and speaks badly about others.If she gossips about others, she’ll likely gossip about you when you’re not around. She can’t be trusted, and creates a toxic atmosphere where you never feel completely safe. Constantly tearing others down is a major sign of insecurity, CNBC notes.10. The woman who never has anything positive to say.Some people are naturally more pessimistic, but there’s a difference between that and being chronically negative. If she complains about everything, nitpicks, and rarely seems genuinely happy, it’ll drain your own positivity. Relationships should uplift you, not drag you down.11. The damsel in distress who always needs rescuing.At first, it feels good to help someone, but if she’s constantly in some crisis – financial, emotional, etc. – it becomes exhausting. There’s a difference between supporting a partner through tough times and being their primary source of stability. She needs to learn to take responsibility for her own life.12. The woman who never fully leaves her ex behind.Maybe they’re still “close friends”, she constantly compares you to him, or she still harbors hopes of getting back together. This guarantees you’ll never feel like the priority, and is incredibly disrespectful of your relationship. 13. The woman with unresolved trauma she refuses to address.We all carry baggage, but there’s a difference between working on healing and expecting a partner to be your therapist. Untreated trauma often causes unhealthy behaviors, making her difficult to be in a relationship with until she seeks professional help. 14. The woman with wildly different values or long-term goals.Opposites can attract, but if your core values (about money, family, where you want to live, etc.) are wildly misaligned, it creates constant friction. It’s hard to build a life together with someone headed in an entirely different direction. 15. The woman who’s disrespectful towards you or others.This includes rude comments, belittling your accomplishments, dismissiveness, or treating service workers or strangers poorly. Disrespect is a sign of low character and will poison the relationship over time. 16. The woman who doesn’t support your goals and ambitions.Partners should be each other’s cheerleaders. If she’s dismissive of your dreams, makes fun of your hobbies, or becomes jealous of your success, it’s a sign she doesn’t value you as a whole person and resents your growth. 17. The woman who controls your life.She might dictate who you can hang out with, what you wear, or how you spend your time and money. Relationships are partnerships, not dictatorships. Controlling behavior is a sign of deep insecurity and can easily escalate into abuse. 18. The woman who lies, even about small things.White lies might seem harmless at first, but if she can’t be honest about little things, how can you trust her with the important stuff? Lying is corrosive to relationships and breeds distrust over time.Enjoy this piece? Give it a like and follow PsychLove on MSN for more!16 Toxic Traits In Men To Watch Out For.By Sinitta Weston .Here are some toxic traits in men that you should definitely watch out for. Remember, recognizing these signs early on can save you a lot of heartache down the road. 1. He constantly puts you down.Whether it’s subtle digs at your appearance, career, or choices, or outright insults, a man who consistently belittles you is not a keeper. He might disguise it as “jokes” or “constructive criticism,” but if it leaves you feeling hurt and insecure, it’s not okay. A healthy relationship should build you up, not tear you down, the Cleveland Clinic notes. 2. He’s overly controlling.He wants to know where you are, who you’re with, and what you’re doing at all times. He might try to isolate you from your friends and family or dictate how you dress and behave. This controlling behavior stems from insecurity and a desire for power, and it’s a major red flag for potential abuse. 3. He lacks empathy and emotional intelligence.Does he dismiss your feelings or invalidate your experiences? Does he struggle to understand or express his own emotions? A lack of empathy and emotional intelligence can make it difficult to connect on a deeper level and resolve conflicts in a healthy way. 4. He’s always the victim.No matter what goes wrong, it’s never his fault. He blames other people for his problems, refuses to take responsibility for his actions, and sees himself as a constant victim of circumstance. This self-pitying attitude can be exhausting and make it difficult to have a balanced and supportive relationship.5. He has a history of disrespecting women.Pay attention to how he talks about his exes or female friends. Does he speak of them with respect and kindness, or does he demean and belittle them? His past behavior can be a strong indicator of how he’ll treat you in the long run. If he has a history of disrespecting women, it’s unlikely he’ll change for you.6. He’s overly jealous and possessive.A little jealousy can be flattering, but excessive jealousy is a sign of insecurity and possessiveness. Does he get angry or suspicious when you talk to other men? Does he constantly check your phone or social media? This behavior can be suffocating and lead to controlling and abusive patterns.7. He has anger management issues.Does he have a short fuse and lash out easily? Does he break things, yell, or resort to physical violence when angry? Anger management issues are a serious red flag and can escalate into dangerous situations. Don’t make excuses for his behavior or try to “fix” him. Your safety and well-being should always come first.8. He’s addicted to substances or has compulsive behaviors.Whether it’s alcohol, drugs, gambling, or other addictive behaviors, these issues can strain a relationship and create a toxic environment. It’s important to consider whether you’re willing and able to support him through his struggles, or if it’s best to distance yourself for your own well-being.9. He’s financially irresponsible.Money matters can be a major source of stress in relationships. If he’s constantly in debt, has no savings, or makes impulsive purchases without considering the consequences, it can create financial instability and resentment. While everyone has different financial habits, it’s important to be with someone who shares your values and priorities when it comes to money.10. He’s dishonest and manipulative.As Verywell Mind points out (and you probably already know), trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If he lies, gaslights, or manipulates you to get his way, it’s a major red flag. He might twist your words, deny reality, or mak

The dating world’s been flipping on its head. With input by Blonde&Balanced and Dinsmore. Listen to the Podcast at How To sex. Clearly, western culture has started failing to secure our survival. We saw it in western Europe, late in the last century. Plus, totalitarian Asian governments dictated it. We quit having enough babies to replace ourselves. We quit teaching our younger generations that a big part of existence is, creating more existence.We delegated out so much of parenthood, that we quit associating with our roles in life.Then we quit finding our identity in marriage. That ancient blending of the two halves of humanity. Boys increasingly started pleasuring other boys, and girls started preferring a romp with another girl. Hell, with internet porn and sex toys, even gay relationships started taking the hit. People are increasingly alone, and getting lonely. But for many of our fellow humans, that’s more acceptable than all the potential disasters of trying to find a soulmate and life partner. Here’s a report by Blonde&Balanced, about 28 of the possible reasons that men, in particular; are choosing to stay single. The dating world’s been flipping on its head, with more men choosing to hit pause on the whole dating game. It’s not just a single problem causing this shift, but a variety of new challenges prompting guys to retreat. Let’s delve into 28 reasons highlighting why some men are opting out of dating. 1: High Cost of Love. The bill for playing the dating game can make some guys hit the brakes, especially when it’s on them to foot the bill for everything from fancy dinners to fun dates, all while balancing their budget. 2: Clash with Modern Women. A rift between modern independence and traditional dating expectations has led to a disconnect, with men feeling sidelined by women’s dual demands for autonomy and special treatment. 3: Situationships. This modern take on non-committal relationships allows for emotional and physical connection without the need to label or define the bond, making it a popular choice for many. 4: The Lost "Getting to Know You" Phase. Ian Breslow, a 28-year-old high school teacher who lives in Astoria, shared his own personal experience that underscores a shift from casual dating to immediate, intense relationship probing, making casual encounters and light-hearted dating seem a thing of the past. 5: Impact of Pandemic. Andrew Bruno’s account highlights how the pandemic has altered social behaviors, making in-person interactions less frequent and more guarded. 6: Goals over Dates. Many men are putting love on the back burner to chase their career or academic dreams, driven by a mix of personal ambition, societal pressure, or the quest for financial security before settling down. 7: Past Pain. Some guys are keeping their hearts off the market thanks to rough rides in past relationships, from betrayals to breakups, leaving them wary of round two. 8: High Expectations. Feeling overwhelmed by the mountain of expectations in the dating world, some men think it’s just too much—whether it’s pressure from society, a string of bad dates, or those fairy-tale romances in movies. 9: Fear of Exploitation. Past experiences of feeling used, whether for money, handyman services, or emotional support, have some men wary of dating again, fearing another round of exploitation. 10: The Age Gap. For some, dating seems to cater exclusively to the young, leaving older individuals feeling out of place and questioning the worth of seeking love later in life. 11: Digital Dating. The digital dating scene, with its endless swiping and focus on fleeting connections, has some dudes questioning if it’s all just a bit too shallow and overwhelming to bother with. 12: New Rules. As the ground shifts beneath the traditional gender roles, a lot of men find themselves lost in the new norms of dating and relationships, unsure of their role. 13: Happy with Being Single. With over half of single Americans content in their solo journey, the drive to seek out a partner is notably low, reflecting a broader acceptance of living life unattached. 14: Busy Life. The modern dating marathon, with its initial virtual connections leading to real-life meetups, challenges even the best time managers, turning love-seeking into a logistical puzzle. 15: Low Sexual Desire. Men experiencing a dip in sexual desire might find the dating scene less appealing, choosing instead to invest in friendships or other non-romantic relationships. 16: Emotional Barriers. Struggling to forge deep emotional connections can act as a significant roadblock in the dating world, whether it’s a challenge with new partners or a deeper issue of emotional availability. 17: Fear of Rejection. The potential for social rejection, with its emotional toll similar to physical pain, can lead men to steer clear of the dating scene to avoid the discomfort of being turned down. 18: Fear of Commitment. For some, the idea of locking down with one person brings more panic than peace, driven by fears of lost freedom, past pains, or the weight of relationship responsibilities. 19: Mental Health Issues. The stigma and challenges surrounding mental health can add layers of fear about judgment or rejection, making the dating scene appear unwelcoming for those struggling. 20: Dating Ambiguity. The question of whether one is truly in a relationship, casually dating, or simply involved in a fling often goes unanswered, reflecting the widespread uncertainty in contemporary romance. 21: Single is More Acceptable. Society has shifted from a focus on traditional milestones like marriage and parenthood to celebrating individual choice, making the single lifestyle more prevalent and accepted. 22: Self-Doubts. Men battling low self-esteem may see the dating field as a minefield of potential rejections and embarrassments, choosing isolation over the risk of not being good enough. 23: Social Anxiety. Social anxiety casts a long shadow over the dating experiences of many men, with the dread of judgment or rejection making even basic interactions seem daunting. 24: Questioning Love. Men battling low self-esteem may see the dating field as a minefield of potential rejections and embarrassments, choosing isolation over the risk of not measuring up. 25: Too Lazy to Date. It appears the bar has dropped, and men are finding shortcuts in the dating scene. The classic moves – shaving, dressing up, and traditional gestures like buying chocolates or flowers – seem too demanding for many today. 26: Pressure for Serious Commitment. The societal push towards finding a serious relationship and the perceived loss of prime dating years during the pandemic have left some feeling caught between the desire for casual dating and the pressure to settle down. This conflict can lead to frustration and a sense of missing out on both fronts. 27: Expectation Gap. Ronald Levant, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Akron, suggest that women’s dating motivations might be evolving, with an increasing focus on finding long-term partners, especially as the biological clock becomes a consideration. This shift can create a mismatch in expectations between men and women, particularly affecting men who prefer casual relationships. 28: Communication Gap. For some men, the daunting task of articulating feelings or navigating conversations can turn dating into a high-stress ordeal. This struggle often stems from societal norms that stifle male emotional openness, personal insecurities, or simply not having enough practice. In a Perfect World, Marriage Might Work The ramblings of a perpetually horny aging male. By Dinsmore At the end of the day, no matter how many baubles and flowers he gives you, no matter how much he tells you he loves your mother, no matter how many times he cooks you dinner or does the laundry, no matter how often he treats you to a romantic evening and no matter how many times he tells you that you are his 'best friend'; it's all bullshit. If he wanted a best friend; it'd be a guy. He wants to get laid; that's all he ever has wanted, and ever will want. It's been that way for thousands of years. Stop reading women's magazines and just accept it. He just wants to fuck you. One would also expect that the more experienced male; the one with more experience, sexually; would be less inclined to ejaculate prematurely, more adept at making the experience pleasurable for the female; thus getting invited back. Other females observing the coupling; or getting the details from tribal gossip; would be more interested in the particularly 'talented' male. Sociologists and psychologists have really clouded the water in the last one hundred years, looking for all sorts of hidden meaning in an effort to make things more 'human' and thus more complicated than they need to be. Their efforts have completely confused both sexes and sadly, resulted in an increase in homosexual activity among females and males whose view and understanding of human sexuality is inadequate; or at best, distorted. In essence it is those humans that have essentially 'dropped out of the game.' I'm not saying that those factors are the sole cause of increased homosexuality but certainly they have had an impact. The whole feminist revolution hasn't helped normal male-female interaction; at least sexual interaction. Certainly some homosexuals of both sexes find themselves unable to compete, i.e., weaker males who are not found attractive by the opposite sex and unattractive females who find it almost impossible to find a suitable male to mate with. Again, one has to assume that in the 'good old days' of an ancient, primitive culture, weaker males simply did not survive the hardships. Unattractive females without the support of a strong hunter/gatherer, left on their own to fend, simply perished. While it may sound cruel, we have to accept the fact that the mating of the strongest and most attractive of the species is wha

Don’t give up on what used to be a good thing. By Ashley Welch & Kara Leigh Smythe, MD. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex. There was once a time when your relationship had magic. That spark of romance, anticipation, and bonding. You’ve invested so much, until things somehow went south. It might have been a major incident, or a slow drifting away from each other. It might be a personal health issue, or a forced new environment for the two of you.We’ll look at home treatments and try to reverse bad habits, But we’ll also discuss your options with a caring and competent professional therapist who specializes in identifying and reversing obstacles in your lives, in a gentle manner. Let’s first look at the easier solutions you can do in the privacy of your home. 9 Natural Libido Therapies Want more excitement? Stimulation? Satisfaction? There are several drug-free ways to spice up your sex life. By Ashley Welch & Kara Leigh Smythe, MD Exercise, say experts, is one of many natural tools you can use to improve sex. If fooling around with your partner isn't all you'd like it to be, it might be time to think up new ways to make your sex life sizzle. Having a date night with your partner — to remind yourself of all the reasons you adore each other — can be a great way to stimulate your libido, says Anita Sadaty, MD, a holistic gynecologist in Roslyn, New York. This is one of many natural ways that experts say you can improve your sex life. 1. Make Getting in the Mood for Sex a Priority Sometimes, having more and better sex simply requires clearing your schedule. “It's hard to be in the mood when you have a million things on your to-do list and not much time to do it,” Dr. Sadaty says. Scheduling sex might sound unromantic, but you put most of your important plans in your calendar, so why not sex? It’s best to schedule enough time to do something relaxing first rather than hopping straight into bed, since women, especially, need to be relaxed before their libido kicks in, Sadaty says. 2. Avoid Negative Thoughts If your brain is running a feedback loop of reasons you’ve picked up along the way — about how you should feel guilty about sex or maybe that your body is too fat or ugly or, well, whatever — it’s time to stop it in its tracks. Recognize the thought when it appears and change it to a more helpful one. Practicing sex positivity — the idea that all consensual sexual activities are healthy and positive — can lead to improvements in sexual enjoyment, researchers say. This means accepting that sex is an essential part of overall health and that you have the right to enjoy sexual activity free from judgment. Examples can include telling your partner what excites you, setting healthy sexual boundaries, and exploring sexual fantasies, which has been shown to improve sexual function and satisfaction. 3. Don’t Forget to Use Lubricants Vaginal dryness can be common among women, affecting as many as 17 percent of females 18 to 50, according to the Cleveland Clinic. A number of factors can contribute to vaginal dryness, including a drop in hormone levels due to menopause, breastfeeding, and certain medications. Sex can be more pleasurable if you add a lubricant, which cuts down on friction and irritation and, therefore, discomfort, gynecologists say. You can buy lubricant from the drugstore or use a household oil like coconut oil. (Be sure to use a non-latex condom if you DIY, because these oils can damage latex.) Don’t try to hide your need for a lubricant from your partner. Make it part of your sexual routine and have fun with it. 4. Move Your Body You may not think that the exercise you do for your heart and muscles is important for sex, but remember that blood flows to your genitals as much as to your heart. Men with erectile dysfunction, for example, can often see improvements in this condition with healthy lifestyle changes such as exercise. A review of 10 studies concluded that 40 minutes of aerobic activity of moderate to vigorous intensity four times per week is associated with reducing erectile problems in men with ED. In women, research shows that physical activity can also improve sexual function, and even a little can go a long way. One study found that women who engage in regular physical activity (one to six hours per week) have higher levels of sexual desire, arousal, and lubrication than women who are sedentary. 5. Get Enough Sleep Not getting enough sleep can have negative impact on your sex drive. One reason is that hormone secretion is controlled by the body’s internal clock, and sleep patterns likely help the body determine when to release certain hormones related to sex. For both men and women, feeling tired when you get into bed zaps whatever libido you may have had even moments earlier. Plus, for women, research has found that sleeping longer is associated with greater next-day sexual desire, and an increase of one hour in sleep led to a 14 percent higher likelihood of engaging in sex with a partner. 6. Practice Mindfulness It may seem like sex is the ultimate practice of mindfulness. And while orgasm pretty much is — likely no one has made their grocery list or planned a work report in that moment — you may become distracted by random thoughts in the time leading up to that orgasm. Keeping your attention on what you’re doing and feeling is a powerful way to enhance your pleasure. Research has shown that women who practice meditation at any level experience improved sexual function associated with better overall mental health compared with those who never meditate. Similarly, the mind-body practice of yoga can aid your libido. When a group of 40 women were instructed to practice an hour of yoga each day, their average scores on a sexual function questionnaire for desire, arousal, lubrication, orgasm, lower pain, and overall satisfaction increased, according to another study. The yoga postures they did were basic poses believed to improve pelvic muscle tone, release tight hip joints, and boost mood, followed by breathing exercises and relaxation techniques. 7. Consider Acupuncture Treatments The ancient Chinese practice of acupuncture, in which a practitioner strategically places needles in the body, can also enhance your sex life. Balancing and relaxing the body with acupuncture has long been used to boost libido, says Baljit Khamba, ND, a naturopathic doctor and an assistant professor of naturopathic medicine at Bastyr University California in San Diego. Dr. Khamba coauthored a study in which 35 men and women with sexual dysfunction, likely caused by antidepressants they were taking, were treated with nine acupuncture sessions. At the end, libido had improved in women, while erection, timing of ejaculation, and ability to orgasm were enhanced in men. In another study, a six-week course of acupuncture treatments with 18 sessions led to significant improvements in erectile dysfunction in men. 8. See What Some Herbs, Supplements, & Aphrodisiacs, Can Do for You Some herbs are used by cultures around the world as aphrodisiacs. Some are believed to stimulate nerves in your genitals; others increase levels of nitric oxide, which increases blood flow to the genitals, and the feel-good chemicals in your brain. Some of these herbs include Chinese ginseng, cordyceps, ginkgo, and muira puama. Not many scientific studies have been done on these supplements, though some evidence suggests L-arginine, an amino acid, may be tied to increased sexual function. One study of 120 men with erectile dysfunction found that taking a combination of supplemental L-arginine (5 grams) and tadalafil (5 milligrams), a medication to treat erectile dysfunction, for six weeks led to more significant improvements in the condition than taking either the supplement or drug alone. In another study that included 77 women, researchers found that taking ArginMax for Women, a supplement containing ginseng, ginkgo biloba, damiana, vitamins, minerals, and L-arginine, for four weeks was associated with increased sexual desire and overall satisfaction in women. 9. Masturbate or Self-Stimulate for Better Sex By experimenting on yourself, you can come to better know what satisfies you sexually — information you can then convey to your partner. For women, masturbation may have other benefits as well. Vaginal dryness and pain may be reduced when you spend time stimulating yourself, notes the Cleveland Clinic. That’s why sex therapists often recommend masturbation as a tool for women having trouble reaching orgasm. You might want to add a vibrator for enhanced stimulation. Medical Reasons May Be Behind Sexual Problems or Disinterest Of course, there may be a medical reason why your sex life is flagging. Diabetes, thyroid issues, cancer treatments, and cardiac problems can lower sexual desire. Nerve issues, endometriosis, or other problems can cause sex to be painful for women. And certain medications — like some for blood pressure, depression, anxiety, and even birth control — may inhibit desire. That’s why it’s important to get a medical checkup if you are experiencing symptoms that affect your sex life and get your condition properly treated. You can also ask your doctor if it’s possible to switch your medication to something without a sexual side effect. But even if you have a medical cause, it doesn’t have to stop you from having satisfying sex. Sex Therapy: What Men and Women Should Know By Beth Levine & Allison Young, MD Sex therapy can help both individuals and couples improve their sexual issues and their relationships. Let’s talk about sex. Sexual health is an essential part of overall emotional and physical well-being. But if you’re experiencing a sexual problem, the last thing you probably want to do is talk about it. If shame is keeping you from seeking help, know this: 43 percent of women and 31 percent of men report some degree of sexual dysfunction. Sex therapy is designed to get to the bottom of sexual issues and reverse the