The dating world’s been flipping on its head.

With input by Blonde&Balanced and Dinsmore. Listen to the Podcast at How To sex.


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Clearly, western culture has started failing to secure our survival. We saw it in western Europe, late in the last century. Plus, totalitarian Asian governments dictated it. We quit having enough babies to replace ourselves. We quit teaching our younger generations that a big part of existence is, creating more existence.

We delegated out so much of parenthood, that we quit associating with our roles in life.

Then we quit finding our identity in marriage. That ancient blending of the two halves of humanity. Boys increasingly started pleasuring other boys, and girls started preferring a romp with another girl.

Hell, with internet porn and sex toys, even gay relationships started taking the hit.

People are increasingly alone, and getting lonely. But for many of our fellow humans, that’s more acceptable than all the potential disasters of trying to find a soulmate and life partner.

Here’s a report by Blonde&Balanced, about
28 of the possible reasons that men, in particular; are choosing to stay single.

The dating world’s been flipping on its head, with more men choosing to hit pause on the whole dating game. It’s not just a single problem causing this shift, but a variety of new challenges prompting guys to retreat.

Let’s delve into 28 reasons highlighting why some men are opting out of dating.
1: High Cost of Love.

The bill for playing the dating game can make some guys hit the brakes, especially when it’s on them to foot the bill for everything from fancy dinners to fun dates, all while balancing their budget.
2: Clash with Modern Women.

A rift between modern independence and traditional dating expectations has led to a disconnect, with men feeling sidelined by women’s dual demands for autonomy and special treatment.
3: Situationships.

This modern take on non-committal relationships allows for emotional and physical connection without the need to label or define the bond, making it a popular choice for many.
4: The Lost "Getting to Know You" Phase.

Ian Breslow, a 28-year-old high school teacher who lives in Astoria, shared his own personal experience that underscores a shift from casual dating to immediate, intense relationship probing, making casual encounters and light-hearted dating seem a thing of the past.
5: Impact of Pandemic.

Andrew Bruno’s account highlights how the pandemic has altered social behaviors, making in-person interactions less frequent and more guarded.
6: Goals over Dates.

Many men are putting love on the back burner to chase their career or academic dreams, driven by a mix of personal ambition, societal pressure, or the quest for financial security before settling down.
7: Past Pain.

Some guys are keeping their hearts off the market thanks to rough rides in past relationships, from betrayals to breakups, leaving them wary of round two.
8: High Expectations.

Feeling overwhelmed by the mountain of expectations in the dating world, some men think it’s just too much—whether it’s pressure from society, a string of bad dates, or those fairy-tale romances in movies.
9: Fear of Exploitation.

Past experiences of feeling used, whether for money, handyman services, or emotional support, have some men wary of dating again, fearing another round of exploitation.
10: The Age Gap.

For some, dating seems to cater exclusively to the young, leaving older individuals feeling out of place and questioning the worth of seeking love later in life.
11: Digital Dating.

The digital dating scene, with its endless swiping and focus on fleeting connections, has some dudes questioning if it’s all just a bit too shallow and overwhelming to bother with.
12: New Rules.

As the ground shifts beneath the traditional gender roles, a lot of men find themselves lost in the new norms of dating and relationships, unsure of their role.
13: Happy with Being Single.

With over half of single Americans content in their solo journey, the drive to seek out a partner is notably low, reflecting a broader acceptance of living life unattached.
14: Busy Life.

The modern dating marathon, with its initial virtual connections leading to real-life meetups, challenges even the best time managers, turning love-seeking into a logistical puzzle.
15: Low Sexual Desire.

Men experiencing a dip in sexual desire might find the dating scene less appealing, choosing instead to invest in friendships or other non-romantic relationships.
16: Emotional Barriers.

Struggling to forge deep emotional connections can act as a significant roadblock in the dating world, whether it’s a challenge with new partners or a deeper issue of emotional availability.
17: Fear of Rejection.

The potential for social rejection, with its emotional toll similar to physical pain, can lead men to steer clear of the dating scene to avoid the discomfort of being turned down.
18: Fear of Commitment.

For some, the idea of locking down with one person brings more panic than peace, driven by fears of lost freedom, past pains, or the weight of relationship responsibilities.
19: Mental Health Issues.

The stigma and challenges surrounding mental health can add layers of fear about judgment or rejection, making the dating scene appear unwelcoming for those struggling.
20: Dating Ambiguity.

The question of whether one is truly in a relationship, casually dating, or simply involved in a fling often goes unanswered, reflecting the widespread uncertainty in contemporary romance.
21: Single is More Acceptable.

Society has shifted from a focus on traditional milestones like marriage and parenthood to celebrating individual choice, making the single lifestyle more prevalent and accepted.
22: Self-Doubts.

Men battling low self-esteem may see the dating field as a minefield of potential rejections and embarrassments, choosing isolation over the risk of not being good enough.
23: Social Anxiety.

Social anxiety casts a long shadow over the dating experiences of many men, with the dread of judgment or rejection making even basic interactions seem daunting.
24: Questioning Love.

Men battling low self-esteem may see the dating field as a minefield of potential rejections and embarrassments, choosing isolation over the risk of not measuring up.
25: Too Lazy to Date.

It appears the bar has dropped, and men are finding shortcuts in the dating scene. The classic moves – shaving, dressing up, and traditional gestures like buying chocolates or flowers – seem too demanding for many today.
26: Pressure for Serious Commitment.

The societal push towards finding a serious relationship and the perceived loss of prime dating years during the pandemic have left some feeling caught between the desire for casual dating and the pressure to settle down. This conflict can lead to frustration and a sense of missing out on both fronts.
27: Expectation Gap.

Ronald Levant, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Akron, suggest that women’s dating motivations might be evolving, with an increasing focus on finding long-term partners, especially as the biological clock becomes a consideration. This shift can create a mismatch in expectations between men and women, particularly affecting men who prefer casual relationships.
28: Communication Gap.

For some men, the daunting task of articulating feelings or navigating conversations can turn dating into a high-stress ordeal. This struggle often stems from societal norms that stifle male emotional openness, personal insecurities, or simply not having enough practice.
In a Perfect World, Marriage Might Work

The ramblings of a perpetually horny aging male.

By Dinsmore

At the end of the day, no matter how many baubles and flowers he gives you, no matter how much he tells you he loves your mother, no matter how many times he cooks you dinner or does the laundry, no matter how often he treats you to a romantic evening and no matter how many times he tells you that you are his 'best friend'; it's all bullshit. If he wanted a best friend; it'd be a guy.

He wants to get laid; that