The Anxious To Secure PODCAST

🖤 FREE 3min Attachment Style QUIZ  https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz   Have you ever felt confused, frustrated, or even hurt because your partner seems distant, cancels plans, or shuts down emotionally — even when you know they care? 🖤✨ In this episode, we dive into what really drives avoidant behavior. Why do some people pull away the moment things feel too close? Why do they seem to love you but still keep their distance? You’ll get insights into the hidden fears and early experiences that shape how avoidants handle intimacy, emotions, and closeness.. and how you can respond in ways that stop the cycle of frustration and overthinking. 💎 By the end, you’ll start noticing patterns you never saw before, feel less like you’re doing something “wrong,” and understand how your reactions can either calm or trigger their core fears.   CHAPTERS: 00:00 Understanding the Avoidant Attachments Style: Core wounds 02:47 Core wound 01: I am trapped 06:41 Core Wound 02: I am Bad (Defective) 11:29 Core wound 03: I am losing control 15:40 Quick Summary 16:32 Homework for the Anxious Attachment Partner: ✨📝     🖤 ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse   🖤  ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text (because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety   1:1 Coaching Offers (via video calls or whatsapp) https://tr.ee/PInPmy   Free Find your ANXIOUS Archetype NOW (to feel calmer) https://tr.ee/9s05-v9M30   Free: Anxious to Secure Checklist https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist   Free Quiz: Find your top 2 Relationship needs  (before your subconscious will sabotage you by meeting it in unhealthy ways, through like overthinking, clinging too hard to chasing) https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/needs   #avoidantattachment #anxiousavoidantrelationship #emotionalsafety

🖤 FREE 3min Attachment Style QUIZ  https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz Do you catch yourself panicking when your partner doesn’t text back, rearranging your life to stay close, or feeling like love is a game you have to earn? 🖤✨ This episode uncovers why your mind goes into overdrive in relationships, replaying fears, doubts, and “what ifs.” Why does a simple text delay feel like abandonment? Why do you overgive, over-apologize, or shrink yourself just to feel secure? We’ll explore the hidden patterns and past experiences that secretly shape how you respond to love today... and what shifts can help you finally feel safe, worthy, and capable without depending on your partner for validation. 💎 You’ll walk away understanding your triggers, seeing how your past keeps replaying itself, and learning the first steps to stop overthinking and start feeling secure in love.     CHAPTERS: 00:00 Understanding Anxious Attachment and Core Beliefs 03:55 Core Wound 1: I Am Not Safe 12:54 Core Wound 2: I Am Not Worthy of Love 20:25 Core Wound 3: I Am Not Capable 25:11 How else the wounds can show up (personal story) 26:28 Homework to start rewiring your wounds   #anxiousattachment #limitingbelief #emotionaltriggers   🖤 ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse   🖤  ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text (because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety   1:1 Coaching Offers (via video calls or whatsapp) https://tr.ee/PInPmy   Free Find your ANXIOUS Archetype NOW (to feel calmer) https://tr.ee/9s05-v9M30   Free: Anxious to Secure Checklist https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist   DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

⚠️ Warning: After this episode, you might 01 fall in love with an avoidant or 02 see them through a completely different lens. Because what I’m about to share may change how you see avoidants forever 🤍🧠 🖤 FREE 3min Attachment Style QUIZ  https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz   If you’ve ever felt like the avoidant in your life is cold, distant, confusing, or hard to love… this episode will soften something inside you. I’m sharing 5 unexpected lessons my avoidant partner taught me that actually helped me feel safer, calmer, more confident, and more SECURE in love. And yes... this episode is about the good parts of avoidants. Because avoidants are not the villains here. They are humans with a completely different survival strategy. This isn’t an “avoidants are toxic” conversation. It’s the episode that shows you the side no one talks about: The parts of avoidants that make love gentle, grounding, freeing, magical… The parts that can grow you in ways you never expected. The parts your anxious brain might not see yet because fear is so loud. If you’ve found yourself late-night googling things like: “Why does my avoidant partner pull away after getting close?” “How do avoidants show love if they don’t express it like I do?” “Why do avoidants disappear then come back?”   This episode will give you answers but also a new perspective that feels like exhaling. We’ll talk about how avoidants love differently, why space is not rejection, how to stop taking distance personally, and how understanding them can actually calm your nervous system instead of trigger it. By the end, you’ll walk away with: 🤍 a softer view of avoidants 🤍 more empathy (for them and for you) 🤍 5 mindset shifts that bring REAL peace to your relationship Not by abandoning yourself. Not by shrinking. But by seeing the relationship dynamic with truth instead of fear. This episode gives you the perspective that finally lets the anxious-avoidant dynamic feel less like war and more like two humans trying to feel safe in very different ways. If you’re tired of demonizing avoidants or battling them… and you’re ready to understand the GOOD they bring too… this one is going to land deeply. Stay until the end.. I’ll give you simple steps to feel more secure today, without chasing or overthinking. Ready to see avoidants with new eyes? Let’s shift the narrative.. and maybe your heart too 🤍🧠✨   🖤 ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse   🖤  ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text (because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety   1:1 Coaching Offers (via video calls or whatsapp) https://tr.ee/PInPmy   Free Find your ANXIOUS Archetype NOW (to feel calmer) https://tr.ee/9s05-v9M30   Free: Anxious to Secure Checklist https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist   Free Quiz: Find your top 2 Relationship needs  (before your subconscious will sabotage you by meeting it in unhealthy ways, through like overthinking, clinging too hard to chasing) https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/needs   CHAPTERS: 00:00 Why Your Avoidant Partner might be an inspiration 03:00 01 – Stop taking it personally 🖤 07:57 02 – Being selfish isn’t selfish 13:01 03 – Lightness, fun, and adventure ✨ 18:53 04 – STOP trusting others so fast ★ 24:41 05 – "Cutify" your fears 📓 30:04 Mini Summary 30:52 Your Homework   DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

🖤 FREE Attachment LIBRARY (30+worksheets, prompts, quizzes and more) https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach   🖤 FREE 3min Attachment Style QUIZ  https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz   I’m spilling a secret today… 🖤 Recently, I filled out a survey for people who’ve earned a secure attachment, and it asked questions that cut straight to the heart of how we actually get there. What changed, what worked, and what no one tells you about leaving anxious patterns behind. I decided to share my answers with you.. everything I revealed about my journey from anxious to secure. The things I did daily, the mindset shifts, and the practices that rewired my nervous system so I could stop spiraling over texts, stop over-giving, and finally feel safe in love. If you’ve ever wondered why you attract avoidants, why your anxious brain can’t stop catastrophizing, or how it actually feels to go from panicking in love to calm, grounded, and confident, this episode is your insider look. Think of it as me giving you my secret roadmap, the exact insights I shared with a survey of people who’ve done the work and truly become secure.     🖤 ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse   🖤  ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text (because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety   1:1 Coaching Offers (via video calls or whatsapp) https://tr.ee/PInPmy   Free Find your ANXIOUS Archetype NOW (to feel calmer) https://tr.ee/9s05-v9M30   Free: Anxious to Secure Checklist https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist   Free Quiz: Find your top 2 Relationship needs  (before your subconscious will sabotage you by meeting it in unhealthy ways, through like overthinking, clinging too hard to chasing) https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/needs     CHAPTERS: 00:00 Understanding Attachment Styles 01:04 What is Attachment Theory and Why does it matter? 06:25 Going deeper into the ANXIOUS attachment style... 10:09 10 Question about Healing my Anxious Attachment 10:38 1: What changed when you became more secure? 12:30 2: Does it feel different to be attracted to someone now? 14:40 3: What were the key turning points or breakthroughs in your transition? 19:47 4: What was the biggest barrier or challenge you had to overcome? 23:01 5: What specific actions or strategies did you take to shift from insecure to secure? 25:31 6: Which strategies were most effective? 26:08 7: How did your relationships change? 29:38 8: What mindset or belief shifts happened during your transformation? 30:23 9: How did you cultivate self-regulation and self-soothing? 32:43 10: How do you maintain secure attachment daily now? 34:53 Bonus Question (busting the biggest MYTHS)   DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.  

Welcome back to back 02: Do you ever check your phone twice just to make sure they didn’t ignore your last text? Over-plan a date, then feel stressed when it doesn’t go perfectly? Rehearse what to say next instead of actually being in the moment? There’s nothing wrong with you. 🖤 Your nervous system has just learned to protect you — and right now, it’s overworking. In this episode, I share tiny daily habits that help you step out of survival mode and feel safe in love again. No overthinking. No chasing. No controlling outcomes. Just calm, soft, grounded energy that feels secure. You’ll learn: ✨ Why anxious attachment is actually wounded masculine energy (and how to shift back into your feminine flow) ✨ Tiny nervous system habits that calm your anxiety in real time ✨ How to detach from outcomes, timelines, and “I need to be married by X” pressure ✨ How to create micro-moments of feminine joy that rewire your brain for safety and trust Because anxious attachment is about control — and you can’t feel safe while you’re controlling. Safety comes from detaching, softening, and trusting. By the end, you’ll understand the nervous system “why” behind your anxious patterns — and have practical ways to regulate your body, not just your thoughts. 🌻   Inside this episode, I also share my 4R Method — the exact process I used to go from anxious to secure. It’s simple, real, and it works. You’ll walk away knowing how to: — Feel and release anxiety safely — Rewire limiting beliefs like “I’m too much” or “People always leave” — Meet your needs without over-giving — Build calm, secure connection that lasts ✶ New episodes every Tuesday + Thursday Subscribe so you don’t miss the next one 🖤 If you loved this episode, screenshot it, tag me on Instagram, and tell me which habit you’re trying first!     🖤 ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse   🖤  ON SALE: TEXT ANXIETY COURSE How to STOP needing so much reassurance via TEXT (because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety   CHAPTERS: 00:00 Healing Anxious Attachment with feminine micro habits 01:29 Understanding Energies: Masculine vs. Feminine 03:50 Micro Habit 1: Practice Receiving 06:20 Micro Habit 2: Embrace Imperfection 09:15 Micro Habit 3: Slow Down Mentally 14:17 Micro Habit 4: Detach from Outcomes and Timelines 18:13 Micro Habit 5: Create Feminine Joy Moments 22:33 Micro Habit 6: Create White Space 26:45 the KEY message 28:33 why Healing Anxious Attachment MATTERS 31:47 My 4R Method to go from Anxious to Secure 35:22 Consequences of Unhealed Attachment Styles     DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

If you’ve ever felt like no matter how much “inner work” you do… your anxiety still runs the show.. this episode is going to change how you see healing 🖤 In this episode, I share 6 tiny feminine micro habits that helped me rewire my anxious brain and finally feel SAFE in love. No huge routines. No big life changes. Just small, daily shifts in how you do things, not what you do.     Because anxious attachment is actually stuck masculine energy  always controlling, chasing, fixing. Safety doesn’t come from control. It comes from letting go. From softening, trusting, and allowing life to move through you.  You’ll learn how to: ✨ Slow your body + mind so your nervous system feels safe again ✨ Stop over-managing others and finally breathe in your relationships ✨ Use your voice + movement to regulate your anxiety ✨ Shift from “doing” to “being” — the feminine way   One tiny habit at a time, you’ll begin to feel more secure, calm, and connected...both with yourself and your partner.   Time Stamps: 00:00 Intro: Why changing how you do things changes everything 01:43 Micro Habit 1 — Slow Down Physically 04:06 Micro Habit 2 — Release Control of Others 05:58 Micro Habit 3 — The “What If Positive” Hack 08:32 Micro Habit 4 — Use Your Voice in New Ways 10:36 Micro Habit 5 — Shift Your Physical Activities 14:24 Micro Habit 6 — Slow Down Mentally 17:43 Closing Thoughts 19:29 Why Becoming Secure Really Matters   🎧 Next up: Part 02 dives into the emotional side of feminine energy.. letting go of perfectionism, embracing vulnerability, and fully receiving love. ✶ New episodes every Tuesday + Thursday Subscribe so you don’t miss the next one! If you loved this episode, take a screenshot, tag me on Instagram, and tell me which micro habit you’re trying first 🖤       🖤 FREE Attachment LIBRARY (worksheets, prompts, quizzes and more) https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach   🖤 Attachment Style QUIZ  https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz     Listen back to EPISODE 46: "How to Heal Your 💗 Feminine Energy + Anxious Attachment in Your Relationships (5 Steps)" Spotify: https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-enxxw-18a55d4 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uR3XhGPCJY&list=PLkaamihHgLaGB8Cui2BEQqnZDO5jK2GYf&index=41       DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

Ever wondered how to SPOT an avoidant early on, or what a securely attached partner actually looks like? Dating can feel like a minefield when you have an anxious attachment, right? 🧠 You meet someone, start to get attached, and only later realize they’re emotionally unavailable. They pull away. You overthink. Suddenly, you’re stuck in the same anxious spiral, replaying the same patterns again and again.  In this episode, I’m showing you how to spot avoidant tendencies early, understand attachment patterns, and recognize what a secure, emotionally available partner actually looks like.   Because the goal isn’t to judge... it’s to create awareness, so you stop chasing mixed signals, stop overextending emotionally, and start investing in the people who actually make you feel calm, seen, and safe. 🖤✨ By the end of this episode, you’ll know: How anxious and avoidant patterns secretly show up in early dating Why you keep feeling pulled into the same exhausting cycles How to spot secure energy so you can attract healthier connections Ways to protect your nervous system and emotional wellbeing while dating   🖤 ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse   🖤  ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text (because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety   Free Quiz: Find your top 2 Relationship needs (before your subconscious will sabotage you by meeting it in unhealthy ways, through like overthinking, clinging too hard to chasing) https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/needs   CHAPTERS: 00:00 Understanding Attachment Styles in Dating 01:42 Question 01 04:49 Question 02 09:21 Question 03 13:40 Question 04 18:20 Question 05 20:50 Bonus Question 23:02 Key Questions to Identify Attachment Styles   🖤 FREE Attachment LIBRARY (worksheets, prompts, quizzes and more) https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach   🖤 Attachment Style QUIZ  https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz   DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.  

Free Quiz: Find your top 2 Relationship needs (before your subconscious will sabotage you by meeting it in unhealthy ways, through like overthinking, clinging too hard to chasing) https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/needs   Too Much Masculine Energy? The Hidden Link to Your ANXIOUS Attachment You chase, they pull away. You panic, they withdraw. It’s exhausting. 🧨 Ever catch yourself texting again even though you already asked if they’re okay? Or over-explaining something you said just to keep them from pulling away? Or maybe you plan three dates in one week because you’re scared they might lose interest? If any of that sounds like you… you’re not alone. And it’s not your fault. In this episode, we’re breaking down the hidden connection between masculine and feminine energy and anxious attachment patterns  the part no one talks about.  You’ll discover: Why anxious attachment isn’t actually feminine energy How both anxious and avoidant partners get stuck in survival masculine energy The nervous system secrets behind your tiny fight-flight reactions in love  Practical ways to rebalance your energy so you feel safe, grounded, and fully yourself  Real examples for anxious women and men showing what “secure energy” really looks like By the end, you’ll know how to: Pause before reacting Notice your micro-chasing behaviors Reconnect with your natural energy balance Break the anxious-avoidant rollercoaster for good  Stop overthinking. Stop panicking. Start holding space for yourself and your partner in a way that actually works. Hit play and start seeing the hidden energy dynamics that are running your relationships  and how to finally take back your calm and confidence in love. 🎧   🖤 ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse     🖤  ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text (because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety   CHAPTER: 00:00 Understanding Anxious Attachment and Energy Dynamics 02:46 What Are These Energies Really? 04:20 The big myth: feminine = anxious, masculine = avoidant 07:30 The Nervous System Connection 09:44 Finding The Perfect Balance (with the 80/20 rule) 13:58 Breaking The Cycle 14:31 How to support your Avoidant Partner 16:10 For The Anxious Attached Men 21:14 Real Transformation 22:53 5 STEP ACTION STEPS TO REBALANCE 28:21 Reminder + Summary   Listen back to EPISODE 46: "How to Heal Your 💗 Feminine Energy + Anxious Attachment in Your Relationships (5 Steps)" Spotify: https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-enxxw-18a55d4 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uR3XhGPCJY&list=PLkaamihHgLaGB8Cui2BEQqnZDO5jK2GYf&index=41     🖤 FREE Attachment LIBRARY (worksheets, prompts, quizzes and more) https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach   🖤 Attachment Style QUIZ  https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz         DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.    

Attachment Style QUIZ 3 min FREE https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz     Breakups with avoidant partners can leave you feeling confused, anxious, and stuck wondering: Will my avoidant ex ever come back? 🖤   In this episode, I dive deep into what avoidant partners do after a breakup, including the 3 stages avoidants go through when they pull away, how they process space, and why they sometimes reach out again.   You’ll learn: ★ How avoidant exes think and feel after a breakup ★ Signs your avoidant ex might be missing you ★ What happens when avoidants need space ★ How to stop the push-pull cycle with an avoidant partner ★ How to protect yourself emotionally while an avoidant processes their feelings   If you’ve ever Googled “why does my avoidant ex pull away but still care?” or “do avoidant partners come back after a breakup,” this episode is for you. Understanding these stages helps you set boundaries, stay grounded, and take control of your healing—no guessing required. ✨     CHAPTERS: 00:00 Understanding Avoidant Attachment After Breakup 02:21 Stage 01: Emotional Shutdown 07:30 Stage 02: Quiet Reassessment 11:32 Stage 03: “I Actually Need This Person” ✨ 16:15 What you should consider IF you get back together with the avoidant 17:52 Final Thoughts on Healing and Relationships       ✅ The Anxious TO Secure CHECKLIST https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist   📓✍🏻Attachment Library (30+) FREE resources https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach     COURSES ON SALE STOP OBSESSING OVER TEXTS📱🧘🏻‍♀️ In 21 days or less https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety     🧑🏼‍❤️‍🧑🏻 STOP Overthinking Your Relationship (4 STEPS) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse       1:1 COACHING SUPPORT: ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk     ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription         DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.   This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.       Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship 🚫 🌀 (EVEN with your Avoidant Partner) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse   Attachment Style QUIZ 3 min FREE https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz   Think it’s the world… your partner… the people you date… making you feel unsafe in love? 🖤 What if I told you most of that emotional unsafety actually starts with your own thoughts the ones you barely notice, the inner critic running nonstop in your head? In this episode of the Anxious to Secure Podcast, I show you how anxious attachment and your inner critic create the emotional chaos in your relationships and how you can finally take back control. We dive into: ★ How anxious attachment triggers the inner critic and makes you question your worth ★ Why your inner voice gets so loud when you feel judged, unseen, or rejected ★ The roots of self-criticism   from parenting, culture, media, and social comparison ★ Step-by-step ways to soften your inner critic and reparent yourself ★ How to build emotional safety with yourself first, so you can connect from a place of calm in your relationships If you’ve ever Googled: “how to feel emotionally safe in my relationship”, “how to quiet my inner critic”, “how to stop overthinking in love”, or “how to be less anxious in a relationship”, this episode is for you.   You’ll learn practical ways to notice your inner critic, get curious about what it’s trying to protect you from, respond with compassion, and use actions...not just words—to show yourself safety. This is about retraining your nervous system, reducing anxiety, and creating secure, loving connections with yourself and others. ✨ Whether you’re navigating dating, marriage, or friendships, understanding and soothing your inner critic is key to creating emotional safety in relationships and finally feeling truly seen, valued, and loved.   CHAPTERS: 00:00 Understanding the Inner Critic 01:56 My personal Inner Story 04:35 Connect your Inner critic back to your Roots 06:44 Realise your Inner Critics Protective Drive 07:22 What the Anxious Attachments Inner Critic Notices 09:06 Visualisation to become your own Inner Parent 11:13 3 Steps to Reparent Your Inner Critic 21:01 Before + After: From HATE to LOVE 23:44 Quick Recap     ✅ The Anxious TO Secure CHECKLIST  https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist   OFFERS: 🖤📱 ON SALE: "Stop Obsessing Over Texts in 21 Days or Less"  https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety     Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk   ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription   DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

ow to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)   Attachment Style QUIZ : Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached:  https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz   Do you ever meet someone new and suddenly feel like he’s the one just because he’s nice, attractive, or gives you a few compliments? 🖤✨ If you’ve noticed yourself rushing into relationships like this, it’s not a coincidence.. it’s a sign of anxious attachment. In this episode, I’m breaking down why your nervous system craves instant closeness, why you attach too fast, and how that speed can leave you anxious, overthinking, and ignoring red flags. We’ll talk about the real difference between healthy interest and anxious over-investment, plus the biggest dating mistakes anxiously attached people make (texting too much, oversharing, canceling plans, imagining a future too soon). ✨ Ready to learn the secret behind anxiously attaching too fast, the hidden consequences in dating vs. how securely attached people actually date? This insight can shift how you see yourself, your patterns, and the kind of love you’re building. You’ll also learn how to slow down dating without losing attraction, how to build self-trust and emotional safety, and how to notice if someone is actually secure.. or just giving you temporary reassurance. If you’ve ever asked yourself: Why do I fall too fast in relationships? Am I attached to the person, or just the comfort they give me? How do I stop overthinking texts and rushing for labels? …this episode is for you. Tune in now to discover how dating at a steady, grounded pace helps you protect your energy, feel secure, and finally choose someone for who they are: not just the safety they represent. Welcome to the Anxious-to-Secure Podcast with, me - Jula   CHAPTERS: 00:00 Understanding Anxious Attachment in Dating 02:15 What Anxious Attachment Looks Like 03:23 Mistakes That Happen When You Attach Too Fast in Dating 07:19 How does Securely Dating + Slow Dating look like? 08:22 How to date slowly when you first meet (Stage 01) 10:02 How to date slowly in the TALKING Phase of dating (Phase 02) 14:10 How to date slowly when you are officially DATING (Stage 03) 16:38 How to date slowly when you're EXCLUSIVE (Stage 04) 19:12 Tools to Stay Grounded During the Dating Stages 20:13 Recap and Final Thoughts on Healthy Dating   Attachment Style QUIZ : Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached:  https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz   ✅ The Anxious TO Secure CHECKLIST  https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist   OFFERS: 🖤📱 ON SALE: "Stop Obsessing Over Texts in 21 Days or Less"  https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety     Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk   ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription   DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner) "What happens when a dismissive avoidant realizes they lost me?” 🖤✨ A question I get asked as relationship coach a bunch of times. If you’ve ever found yourself replaying the breakup in your head, wondering: “Is he thinking about me? Does he even care? Will he ever come back?” this episode is for you. I’ll walk you through the hidden emotional timeline of the avoidant partner after a breakup..the relief phase, the delayed grief, and the subtle breadcrumbs they drop instead of saying “I miss you.” We’ll explore why they seem fine right away, why their emotions hit them months later, and the indirect ways they try to reconnect when vulnerability feels too dangerous. Think of it like opening a locked safe..their feelings are inside, but the timing of when they surface might surprise you. You’ll learn: ★ Why avoidants really pull away when things feel “too close” ★ The difference between breakup relief and delayed grief ★ How to spot those tiny breadcrumbs that mean more than they let on ★ Why their suffering shows up AFTER you’ve already cried your tears ★ Four powerful steps YOU can take to reclaim your energy and move forward with confidence This isn’t about waiting for them to change—it’s about understanding the avoidant attachment style better, so you can stop second-guessing yourself and finally put the focus back on YOU. If you’re anxiously attached and stuck in the “what ifs,” this episode will give you clarity, relief, and a path to heal while they’re still wrestling with their locked-away emotions. Press play, and let’s unpack what really happens when the avoidant realizes they lost you. 📓🖤✨   CHAPTER: 00:00 Understanding Avoidant Attachment After a Breakup 01:10 What is an Avoidant Attachment Style? 02:13 How This Leads to a Breakup 03:59 Why They Pull Away 06:35 The Breakup RELIEF and Delayed Grief 09:43 Indirect Ways They Show They Care 11:15 Why Anxious hurt DURING relationships, Avoidant’s AFTER 13:14 Empowering yourself after a Breakup 4 Steps 16:28 Step 01 17:25 Step 02 18:12 Step 03 18:49 Step 04 19:32 Remember THIS   Attachment Style QUIZ : Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached:  https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz   ✅ The Anxious TO Secure CHECKLIST  https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist   Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk   ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription   DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

➞ FREE Attachment RESOURCES https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop   You know that gut-wrenching feeling when he’s into you one moment and distant the next? When you’re left wondering why he won’t open up, or why your stomach drops every time he pulls away? That’s what happens when you’re dealing with someone who’s emotionally unavailable. In this episode of the Anxious to Secure Podcast, we’ll break down 10 clear signs of emotional unavailability… plus a bonus one at the end you don’t want to miss. This will help you spot the patterns fast when you’re dating, or finally understand why your anxiety spikes in your current relationship. And before we start: this isn’t about blame 💛 it’s about awareness. Awareness is step one in protecting your heart and nervous system. We’ll talk about what it really means to be emotionally unavailable, especially in dismissive avoidants…why they crave closeness but fear it, how mixed signals and lack of affection leave you anxious, and the painful gap between what they say they want and what they actually do. If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing all the emotional work, begging for crumbs of affection, or whispering in your head,   “Does he even care?”… this episode will hit home. Stick with me until the end, because the bonus sign reveals why words and actions so often don’t line up… and why that mismatch keeps you stuck on people who feel impossible to reach.     CHAPTERS: 00:00 10 Signs He’s Emotionally Unavailable 00:36 What is the Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style at all? 02:45 01 They dodge deeper conversations 04:35 02 They’re inconsistent in communication 06:24 03 They don’t prioritize you 07:43 04 Fear of commitment or future talk 09:38 05 They invalidate your feelings 10:58 06 Affection feels limited or conditional 12:07 07 They disappear under stress 13:06 08 Overly focused on independence 13:57 09 Mixed signals 14:50 10 You feel emotionally starved 16:20 BONUS SIGN: Actions vs. Words in Relationships 18:31 If you are attracted to THESE men - WHAT NOW?   Attachment Style QUIZ : Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached:  https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz   ✅ The Anxious TO Secure CHECKLIST  https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist   Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk   ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription   DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

☁️ Grab your The Worry-Free ☁️ Flow-Chart for  Relationship Anxiety https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/worryfree   Have you ever dated someone who felt close one moment and distant the next? Or maybe you’ve wondered if your partner is emotionally unavailable, avoidant attached, or simply not interested at all. 🖤 This episode untangles one of the most confusing parts of modern dating and relationships: the difference between emotionally unavailable men, dismissive avoidant partners, and those who are just not into you. Inside, you’ll hear: What “emotionally unavailable” actually means (and why even secure men or husbands can go through it). The difference between a partner who’s avoidant attached vs. someone temporarily checked out. How emotionally distant partners show up in dating, relationships, and marriage. The one question to ask yourself when you feel stuck over their mixed signals. This episode of the Anxious to Secure Podcast, I break it all down so you’ll finally know whether your partner’s distance is a passing phase, an avoidant attachment wound, or a sign they don’t want a deeper commitment. If you’ve been replaying texts, questioning your worth, or wondering why your emotionally unavailable boyfriend or husband won’t open up…this episode is for you…   FREE ATTACHMENT:    Attachment Style QUIZ : Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached:  https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz   ✅ The Anxious TO Secure CHECKLIST  https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist   Find your TOP 2 Relationship Needs 💁🤌🏻 to STOP sabotage (free Quiz) https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/needs   🕵🏻‍♀️ Challenge Your Thoughts CHEAT SHEET https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/challenge     ➞ SHOP + MORE FREE RESOURCES https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop       CHAPTER: 00:00 Understanding Emotional Availability 01:33 What does “emotionally unavailable” actually mean 02:22 SECURE but Emotionally Unavailable 04:34 Emotionally Unavailable (general, not always avoidant) 05:55 Avoidant Attachment (dismissive avoidant) 10:52 The Reddit Take 13:12 The “Just Not That Into You” piece 14:49 Final breakdown 18:17 In short ASK yourself THIS     Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk   ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription   DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached:  https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz   Ever catch yourself panicking when someone pulls away… overthinking every text… or feeling like no matter how much love you get, it’s never enough? If that sounds like you, this episode is MADE for you. We’re diving into attachment styles secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized so you can finally understand why you feel the way you do in love.  This isn’t about labels or “fixing yourself.” It’s about awareness, clarity, and seeing your patterns with curiosity. ✨   I’ll walk you through: ▶️ A 10-question quiz to see your attachment style ▶️ Real-life examples of each style in dating & relationships ▶️ The difference between anxious and disorganized attachment ▶️ How to start creating security from within—without needing your partner to “fix” anything   Bonus: I share my personal story of realizing why I overthink, panic, and crave reassurance, and how that awareness changed everything in my relationships. Grab your notes app 📝 or a piece of paper, and let’s get clarity on your love patterns—so you can start feeling safe, confident, and seen in love.   This quiz is your roadmap to understanding yourself, your nervous system, and your patterns in love. 🎧 Listen now and start seeing your relationships in a whole new way.   Grab more FREE resources: ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach Like…. Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety ✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)   Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk   ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription     CHAPTERS: 00:00 Understanding Attachment Styles 02:39 Free Attachment Style Quiz 04:07 Question 01 04:35 Question 02 05:01 Question 03 05:20 Question 04 05:54 Question 05 06:33 Question 06 07:14 Question 07 07:34 Question 08 08:07 The Quiz Result 09:30 Secure Attachment 10:24 Anxious Attachment 12:24 Avoidant Attachment 14:00 Disorganized Attachment 15:56 What's the Difference between Anxious + Disorganised Attachment Style 17:06 The TAKEAWAY 18:27 Coaching and Support Options 19:06 BIG attachment theory LIE

Stop letting THEIR slow replies ruin YOUR day. Take back your calm in 21 Days or less because your anxiety is about YOU, not them. ON SALE: the📱💬 TEXT ANXIETY Mini Course https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety   Gilmore Girls Attachment Style Breakdown  (Part 2): Rory & Her Relationships    Welcome back to part two of the Gilmore Girls Attachment Style Breakdown! Today we’re diving deep into Rory’s world—her relationships, dating patterns, and why she’s attracted to certain types of people like Dean, Jess, Logan, and even Tristan.   If you haven’t watched part one yet, I recommend starting there to understand the foundation of the characters’ attachment styles, including Lorelai, Luke, Christopher, Emily, and Richard   In this episode, we explore: ✨ Rory’s anxious attachment style with disorganized edges ✨ How her upbringing shaped her relationship patterns ✨ Why she chases unavailable partners and idolizes her boyfriends ✨ The push-and-pull dynamic with Dean, Jess, Logan, and Tristan ✨ How her self-worth ties to achievement, school, and love ✨ The patterns that make her relationships challenging ✨ My #1 tip for Rory (and anyone with anxious tendencies) to finally feel secure in love   We also break down: 💛 Dean – anxious attachment, craving closeness but over-investing emotionally 💚 Jess – disorganized tendencies, rebellious and protective, struggles with vulnerability 💙 Tristan – classic avoidant, keeps emotional distance, immature and testing Rory 💜 Logan – avoidant with some disorganized traits, charming but emotionally inconsistent   If you’re anxious in love like Rory, the real shift happens when you build security within yourself first.   When you stop chasing emotional red flags, you attract reliable, loving partners and create healthier dynamics in all areas of your life.     🎯 Free Resources & Quiz:  : https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz   💌 Ways to work with me 1:1 + Offers: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach     Free Stop overthinking Mini-Mini Course: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/miniseriestostopoverthinking     📌 Don’t forget to comment below: Who’s your favorite Rory boyfriend? And do you relate to Rory’s anxious tendencies in love?   Thanks for watching and doing the work with me! Happy autumn and remember, change in your relationships starts with you—thought by thought, action by action.       Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk     CHAPTERS: 00:00 Intro to Gilmore Girls Attachments Styles 01:28 Rory's Attachment Style 11:46 Dean's Attachment Style 20:30 Jess Mariano's Attachment Style 25:24 Tristan's Attachment Style 30:56 Logan Huntzberger's Attachment Style 36:49 My BIGGEST relationship Advice for RORY   DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

✨ Are you rewatching Gilmore Girls (again 😅) and secretly analyzing every relationship? In this episode of the Anxious to Secure Podcast, I (Jula, relationship coach) break down the attachment styles of Lorelai, Luke, Christopher, and Emily through the lens of attachment theory. You’ll hear: ★ Why Lorelai shows so many signs of disorganized attachment (fearful avoidant). ★ Why Luke might not be fully avoidant after all… and how he leans more secure than you think. ★ How Christopher’s push–pull patterns mirror a fearful avoidant style. ★ And Emily’s anxious tendencies (with disorganized edges and even some narcissistic flavors). If you’ve ever struggled with relationship anxiety, abandonment fears, or wondered why do I pull close, then push away?… you’ll see yourself in these characters.  Grab a coffee, get cozy, and let’s watch Gilmore Girls with completely new eyes.    Don’t forget to subscribe if you love relationship deep dives, attachment theory explained simply, and cozy podcast chats.       DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.   Grab more FREE resources: ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach Like…. Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety ✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)   Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk   ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription   ➞ SHOP: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop   CHAPTERS: 00:00 Exploring Attachment Styles in Gilmore Girls 00:59 What is Attachment theory (in short) 03:00 Lorelai's Attachment Style 09:17 Luke's Attachment Style 16:01 Christopher's Attachment Style (Rory's father) 22:25 Emily's Gilmore's Attachment Style 28:52 IS Lorelai a NARCISSIST? 32:37 Richard's Attachment Style 36:32 Who do you want to see NEXT?

my personal deep dive into Netflix’s Unknown Number: The High School Catfish. 🖤 I’ve been following the comments, the social media conversations, and the shock around Kendra Licari’s story — and I want to take this beyond what the documentary shows. Netflix gave us the facts. But what about the IMPACT? The emotional abuse. The grooming. The way a disorganized attachment style can trap someone in fear, shame, and confusion. That’s the part that hit me hardest .. and that’s where my work as a relationship coach comes in. In this episode, I talk about the red flags most people miss, how parental manipulation destroys self-trust, and why trauma bonding makes it so hard to leave abusive dynamics. I also share what actually helps: nervous system regulation, boundaries that protect your safety, and rebuilding secure attachment step by step. If you’ve seen the Unknown Number Netflix trailer, read The Cut article on Kendra Licari, or scrolled through the heated debates online — this episode is for you. Because it’s not just about a documentary. It’s about real people, real trauma, and the reminder that healing and safety ARE possible. Takeaways: What Netflix didn’t show about the Unknown Number documentary. The deeper emotional impact of grooming and manipulation. How disorganized attachment keeps people stuck in toxic cycles. Why trauma bonding makes breaking away so complicated. The role of parental control, secrecy, and narcissistic behaviors. The importance of spotting red flags early. How daily regulation practices + professional support accelerate healing. Why boundaries are the foundation of safety and recovery. Why love doesn’t have to feel like chaos. WORK WITH ME, COURSES + FREE RESOURCES: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz   3 MIN QUIZ DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns. Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

Grab the📱 ↘"He doesn't reply" Flow Chart (free): https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/flow   It only takes eight seconds… or does it? ⏰    Remember scrolling Instagram, seeing that reel, and thinking, “Why isn’t he replying? It’s just eight seconds!”   That’s exactly how anxious attachment tricks us making us chase validation, obsess over texts, and feel like every delayed reply is rejection. In this episode, I unpack why this “eight-second trap” fuels anxiety, overthinking, and the addictive chase cycle. I share why your emotional safety doesn’t depend on anyone else, how to stop texting obsessively, and the step-by-step tools I use (and teach clients) to calm your brain and feel secure on your own.   We talk real examples: heart racing when they’re “typing,” overanalyzing likes, messages, and stories, and feeling too much in love or friendship. I also share practical actions—from journaling out your thoughts, setting boundaries for yourself, spotting patterns without personalizing, and walking away from crumbs—to reclaim your peace and confidence. If you’ve ever felt anxious waiting for a text, overanalyzed replies, or let someone else control your emotions, this episode is your guide to healing your anxious attachment, trusting yourself, and stopping the chase.   ON SALE (27 euros only) Stop obsessing over Text in 21 days or less - Course: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety     CHAPTERS: 00:00 The Eight Second Dilemma 03:12 Why its makes sense to want them to reply quickly (but it's wrong) 05:45 The Viral "if he wanted to he would" video 08:03 5 Reasons Why This Is Toxic for Anxious Attachment 12:54 How action plan to feel more secure when they don't reply   Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk   ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription   ➞ SHOP + FREE RESOURCES https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop     Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ   How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)   🕊️📱 ↘"He doesn't reply" Flow Chart (free): https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/flow   DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

Remember those red flats from my 20s (that probably STILL get overthought if not addressed…)? The ones I wore on a first date, nervously texting back and overthinking every move? That was me before I started healing my anxious attachment. In this episode, I share 5 things I would NEVER do again as my securely attached self and the lessons that came from years of dating, heartbreak, and self-discovery.   I dive into letting go of people-pleasing, chasing connection, and believing every anxious thought meant danger, and what I do now instead to show up confidently in love, friendships, and even with family.  If you’ve struggled with anxious attachment, overthinking texts, or feeling “too much” in relationships, this episode is your guide to showing up securely, honoring your needs, and trusting yourself in love.   CHAPTERS: 00:00 Intro 01:46 5 Things I’d NEVER Do as a Secure Partner + Healed Anxiously Attached Woman 02:50 01. I don’t say the same boundary 5 times with no consequence 06:45 02. I don’t “go along” with things that feel bad just to avoid tension 08:54 03. I don’t chase connection when it’s not being met halfway 11:51 04. I don’t stay silent just to be “easy” 13:41 05. I don’t make everything mean something about me 16:32 Why you Don't need MORE reassurance 19:50 06. BONUS: I stopped BELIEVING every anxious thought meant “I’m in danger”     Want more support? ➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤 (daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk   ➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤 (2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription   ➞ SHOP + FREE RESOURCES https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop     Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ   How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)     DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.   Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.