Parenting Autism and ADHD

When you’re parenting an autistic or ADHD tween through puberty, sex education can feel like one more overwhelming thing you’re supposed to “get right” - without ever having been shown how. Today, Cliff talks with sexologist and late‑diagnosed autistic mum Cath Hakanson about what real‑world sex ed looks like in neurodivergent families: awkward, imperfect, and built from dozens of tiny, everyday moments. Cath shares how to be approachable, why neuro diverse kids often miss the unspoken rules around dating, consent, and boundaries, and how to use TV shows, music, and video games to gently teach about bodies, relationships, and porn. They explore the push‑pull of wanting to protect your child from hurt while knowing you have to loosen control and why your own uncomfortable history of “the talk” can actually make you a better guide. EPISODE REVEALS Giving your children information about sex is not going to be seen by them as giving them permission to have sex or make them over sexualised. Neurodivergent kids often miss the in‑between social cues, so sex ed must spell out subtext, boundaries, and body signals explicitly. Most teens will roll their eyes and shut you down when you talk about sex -that’s normal. You need to be gently persistent.  Lots of everyday chats slowly sink in, so that when it really matters, they know they can come to you. Spending time having fun, enjoying the same shows, music and video games creates more opportunities to talk about, love, sex, and relationships e.g. a relationship in a show. Talking openly about porn and sexualised media, before and after kids see it, reduces shame and helps them make informed choices. Gradually loosening tech controls and life boundaries, rather than suddenly removing them, supports safer independence. BEST MOMENTS "As a parent, we have to be persistent. We've got to keep trying." "You would then think that talking about sex would make kids be more sexualized, but it actually sort of has a reverse effect, if anything, it sort of protects kids ." "Be askable. You're letting kids know, even though they're not responding half the time they still know you are willing and able to talk about this stuff." ABOUT THE GUEST https://sexedrescue.com RESOURCES Cliff´s book What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister   Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here -  https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

How do you respond when your child’s behaviour feels like pure chaos—defiance, aggression, shutdowns—and nothing you try seems to work? In this solo episode, Cliff unpacks a powerful reframe of that situation explaining why what you are seeing is not likely to be down to disobedience or bad parenting. Cliff shares practical ways to reduce flashpoints, calm things down and teach your children to improve their ability to regulate their emotions. If you've ever felt disconnected from your neurodivergent child, like everything always turns to chaos and it feels so hard to connect with them, this conversation is for you.  EPISODE REVEALS Parents set the tone in the home. If they are calm, it becomes far easier for their children to remain calm and co-operative too. Be patient, wait for your child to calm down rather than trying to discuss issues immediately. This gives their nervous system time to re-regulate which makes it easier for them to listen, understand and be more receptive. Be mindful of how sensitive your child is. Use language that reassures them, this avoids triggering anxiety or defensiveness. Create space for conversation, e.g. device free dinner times when everyone can talk.  Learn to understand your child´s nervous system - the load, the capacity, and how to recognise the signs of distress. This makes it easier for you to stop situations from spiralling out of control. BEST MOMENTS "Sometimes what looks like disobedience isn't disobedience, it's dysregulation." "You can't control your child, but what you can control your own emotions. When you become that resonance of calm and peace that eventually seeps in and helps with your connection with your child." "All these connections with your child can be fixed. But it doesn't start with the child. It starts with us." "Give them options. So, it's not a command." EPISODE RESOURCES ADHD and Autism Pre - Assessment Mini Course Pt 1 of 3 with Connor Johnson - https://podcasts.apple.com/es/podcast/adhd-and-autism-pre-assessment-mini-course-pt-1-of/id1810681675?i=1000725797148 – then listen to the next two episodes to complete this short course. RESOURCES Cliff´s book  “What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down”- https://amzn.eu/d/00b6M7LQ CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister   Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here -  https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

Today, I'm delighted to be joined by Helen Valentino, a late, diagnosed ADHD shamanic practitioner, cacao ceremony facilitator, and podcast host. It's such a pleasure to have Helen with me today. If you've experienced ADHD burnout, anxiety or struggled when your child is dysregulated and you want to better understand anxiety and neuro diversity. These conversations are for you, and remember, it always starts with knowing yourself and building the version of you that your child needs most.  Let's dive in. EPISODE REVEALS Understanding your own ADHD and nervous system is the foundation. It is also excellent preparation for parenting and supporting neurodivergent children.   Late diagnosis can transform a lifetime of shame into self‑acceptance, especially when traits have been weaponised against you.  For Helen it was a revelation. Tiny practical tools - alarms, trackers, routines and carefully chosen words—help forgetful, fast brains to feel safer and more in control.   Leaning on alcohol or drugs to numb the pain doesn´t work. Replace numbing strategies with therapy, spiritual practice, and supportive community, Self‑talk is medicine: using humour and Helen´s “control‑alt‑delete” method reframes mistakes without triggering more anxiety or shutdown. Words are far more powerful than we realise. Nature, ritual, and meditation can slow a whirlwind ADHD brain just enough to notice patterns and choose kinder responses next time.   BEST MOMENTS "Words are really powerful … we use them to hurt people. We use them to make people feel better." "When you say negative things, you're just reinforcing the negative. If you say positive things, you're reinforcing the positive things." "When we go through these challenging times, is when we grow the most." “I can get half an hour's work done in 10 minutes. So, I don't want to lose that. It's becoming aware of where neurodivergence is as helpful or practical.” ABOUT THE GUEST www.inspiredhealing.co.uk WhatsApp 07971 798 462 Thriving not surviving podcast - https://shows.acast.com/thriving-not-surviving RESOURCES The Mandela Effect Book 1 - https://amzn.eu/d/0eiZdh7l Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister   Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here -  https://m.me/cliff.kilmister CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

Today's episode is about stress, anxiety, the inner critic, and why regulation always starts with us as the adults. I'm delighted to be joined by the founder of Love. Heal.Believe. -  Dolly Oksman, a special education teacher with more than a decade of experience supporting children with autism, and someone who is deeply passionate about self-regulation, self-care and helping caregivers stay calm in the middle of chaos.  Together, we talk about classroom meltdowns, anticipating triggers, why mistakes are lessons, and how slowing down and working on ourselves can completely transform the way we support our children. If you've ever felt overwhelmed, hard on yourself, or unsure how to stay calm when your child is dysregulated, this conversation is for you.  Let's dive in.  EPISODE REVEALS Regulation always starts with the adult; our nervous system sets the tone for our children.   You can teach calmness and structure life to enhance the ability of you and your child to return quickly to a state of calmness and stay there for longer.  The use of structure, visual schedules, routines, breathing, and other relaxation techniques helps children feel safer and become less reactive.   Anticipating triggers (noise, crowds, transitions) and planning ahead with headsets, fidgets and social stories reduces meltdowns.   Self‑care is non‑negotiable; even 5–10 minutes a day for you protects your capacity to care for your child.   Every mistake is feedback. Instead of attacking yourself, ask what you can do differently next time. BEST MOMENTS "Regulation starts with us. Stress and anxiety aren't the enemy, they're messengers, and if we're constantly overwhelmed or running on empty, it becomes very difficult to model calm for our children." "Every day is a learning process … we should not be hard on ourselves." ABOUT THE GUEST https://www.amazon.co.uk/Youve-Got-This-Navigating-Confidence/dp/B0FPBLYLD6 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Finding-Your-Inspirational-Quotes-Ponder/dp/B0CVXCHMHH https://www.lovehealbelieve.com email: dollyoxman@lovehealbelieve.com https://www.youtube.com/@dollytamposoksman CLIFF´S SERVICES AND BOOKS Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister   Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body-doubling and step-by-step support. You can contact him here -  https://m.me/cliff.kilmister Cliff´s books on Amazon : https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/Mr-Cliff-Kilmister/author/B0DN3XV3WP RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

Today's episode is for Children's Mental Health Week. I'm delighted to be joined by my daughter Eva, and together, we're talking about belonging, feeling seen and heard, and what actually helps when children are struggling with overwhelm, shutdowns and big emotions. This is a gentle, honest conversation, not from theory, but from lived experience, about what children really need to feel safe, understood and supported.  Our recent guests have all been echoing a theme of positive inner self talk, and it's been lovely to hear. It's a reminder that we all need to be kind to ourselves inwardly, especially when we're going through darker times. Sometimes what we need most is space and time to work through that, trusting that we will come out the other side. Neurodivergent children don't always understand the emotions they're feeling or have the words to explain. When we ask, what are you feeling? The honest answer is often, I don't know. That doesn't mean nothing's going on. It means they're still learning how to make sense of it. And today we're going to explore that a little bit together. EPISODE REVEALS Try not to be so hard on yourself. It’s difficult, but being gentler with yourself makes a real difference.  You’re not alone. Even when you feel different or isolated, there are others who feel the same way or who can empathise with you. People who truly get you - when you find them you will know. Give yourself space and time to process things. It’s okay not to have the words yet. Understanding what you’re feeling can take time.  When your child is melting down, stay kind and give them space. Let them know you’re there, don’t shout, and remember: if they’re already beating themselves up, they don’t need you to add to it.  Remember that even on the darkest cloud days, the blue sky is still there behind the clouds. Tough times and feelings pass and change just like the weather—those heavy, bleak feelings will pass. BEST MOMENTS “(Good) mental health starts with feeling seen, heard, and accepted. And when you're in environments that don't understand you, it can be quite difficult.” "Fitting in somewhere, means feeling safe with a group of people or person, and being able to be yourself and fit in well with them." "It's hard to find people that are like me or who are a bit different than everyone else, but when you find them, you'll know." "Remember adults to look after yourselves as well." EVA´S LINKS Eva´s you tube channel is InspireWithUsYT https://www.youtube.com/@InspireWithUsYT RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

Today, Cliff is joined by Helen Foster who shares her experiences, insights, and hard-earned lessons from navigating EHCP process with her young son. They talk honestly about recognising early signs, gathering evidence, managing overwhelm, using technology to help  and what it's really like advocating for a non-verbal child within a system that can often feel confusing and stacked against families. This is a grounded, real-world conversation, not from theory, but from lived experience. And it's relevant for families and adults who want to make sense of their own neuro divergent experiences.  EPISODE REVEALS Recognising and keeping a record of any stimming or behaviour that supports a diagnosis will help you later. Especially during the EHCP process. Videos,  a well-kept behaviour log, medical reports, assessments, and other paperwork will all support a proper assessment and diagnosis. Really look after yourself. If you don´t you can´t be there to help your child. The earlier you start and get help the better it is for your child. Local authorities worry more about money and resources than what is best for an individual child. For them, good enough is an OK option. To counter this underlying attitude, you will need to continuously advocate for your child. BEST MOMENTS “Take care of yourself, because if you can't take care of yourself, you can't take care of your little one.” “No matter how insignificant you might think it is, note it down. Keep as much evidence as you can possibly collect to either get a formal diagnosis or to initiate an EHCP.” "I'm not just settling for good enough, which is what the local authority are happy to do." EPISODE RESOURCES Instead of piecing together advice from forums and PDFs to get through the EHCP process, use the SEND help App. It provides simple explanations for each step, hands on tips and a way to store and track the documentation you need https://send-help.app/ PREVIOUS RELEVANT EPISODES Dr. Mohita episode - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/helping-the-brain-through-connecting-instead/id1810681675?i=1000735304072 Lara Barnes episode - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/nutrition-movement-and-sensory-tools-for/id1810681675?i=1000738445182 CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister   Are you feeling overwhelmed with EHCP paperwork or are you stuck? Cliff, who has personally been through the process offers body‑doubling and step‑by‑step support. You can contact him here -  https://m.me/cliff.kilmister RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08  ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

Today. I'm joined by Andy Ryan, a late, diagnosed autistic professional who works with organisations to help them better understand support and value neurodivergent people in the workplace. In this conversation, we talk about masking, burnout, psychological safety, leadership and why so many work environments unintentionally make life harder for neurodivergent people, even when the intention is good.  This is an honest, practical discussion about what actually is effective, not expensive fixes, but small mindset shifts that change everything. EPISODE REVEALS Many neurodivergent people are very capable, but they burn out in environments that are built for consistency, control, and predictability, instead of for flexibility, trust, and psychological safety.  The practical changes that really help at work are often small and low-cost. They include softer lighting, reduced background noise, clearer written communication, shorter and better-structured meetings, and managers who check in on how you work best rather than assuming.  You are likely to have to help your manager and work mates to understand what neurodivergence is and what helps. Start by asking for micro-accommodations rather than huge adjustments. Share your communication preferences e.g. email vs face to face, why you need a quieter desk area, work better from home or some flexibility when it comes to start times and would maybe like access to a buddy or mentor. Highlight your strengths and how you can help your manager and work mates. Show that you are a team player. As well as sharing what can derail you. Try to find work in workplaces that already work in a way that suits you. Smaller organizations are often a good choice. Make things easier for yourself by building a career in a field that you are passionate about.  BEST MOMENTS "The most meaningful changes are not expensive; they are not huge." "One of my team, he told me had Asperger's. He was one of my best engineers." "My experience is that organisations are very, very good at taking those good things and not so good accommodating the challenges." "You can't do any of this work unless your decision makers and your managers really know what neuro divergence is." "For young, neurodivergent people the most important thing is finding what you're passionate at and then doggedly finding a career in that." ABOUT THE GUEST www.irregulartraining.co.uk,  email - hello@irregulartraining.co.uk linkedin.com/in/andy-ryan-58452719 RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

This episode is going to be a little different because I co**ed up. I forgot to press record at the start and instead of cutting it out, we've kept it in, because that moment is exactly what today's conversation is about. It's such a pleasure for me to welcome Kathryn Lovewell from kind mind Academy, and we're talking about anxiety, the inner critic and self-compassion. Whether you are an adult or a child, it´s important to think about how we speak to ourselves when things go wrong. So, what you're about to hear isn't polished, it's real, and it perfectly demonstrates what Kathryn teaches. EPISODE REVEALS Booster and Crusher give families a shared language for inner voices: Booster is the warm, encouraging voice that builds confidence; Crusher is the harsh critic that fuels shame and shutdown. You can turn Booster up and turn Crusher down. Parents’ own self-talk and reactions model either Booster or Crusher for their kids, making family-wide self-compassion language a powerful way to build resilience together. Kathryn’s three-step “Booster Break” - name the struggle, remember common humanity, respond with kindness - is a fast, practical tool for calming the nervous system in tough moments. BEST MOMENTS "If we listen to Crusher long enough, which is my invention of my inner critic, it can lead to depression, anxiety and really dark places." "We shouldn't need to justify who we are and how we show up as humans. What we do need to do is make sure that when we go to bed, we like the person in the mirror." ABOUT THE GUESTS Kathryn Lovewell is the founder of Kind Mind Academy, creator of The Booster Way®, and a Senior Certified Mindful Self-Compassion teacher. She specialises in helping children, parents, and educators tame the inner critic and grow self-compassion, through her books The Little Book of Self-Compassion and The Voices in My Head! and her family-focused Booster tools. A former teacher who has worked across schools, prisons, and community settings in the UK, USA, and Australia, Kathryn now offers compassion resilience coaching, runs programmes for families and women, and speaks internationally on emotional wellbeing. www.KindMindAcademy.com www.TheBoosterWay.com TheBoosterWayCommunity.com Curious to know how kind you are to yourself? Take a quick Self Kindness Quiz online and discover for yourself - www.SelfKindnessQuiz.com Connect with Kathryn: linkedin.com/in/kathrynlovewell www.YouTube.com/KindMindAcademy https://www.instagram.com/KathrynLovewell https://www.instagram.com/KindMindAcademy https://www.instagram.com/TheBoosterWay “The voices in my head” book - https://amzn.eu/d/g6laOjP Eva’s channel - https://www.youtube.com/shorts/-sb6ecqBJk4 https://www.youtube.com/@InspireWithUsYT RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!

Today, Cliff is joined by Sean McNicholas from New Me Therapy. Sean shares his incredible journey from struggling through school and adult life with undiagnosed ADHD to becoming a therapist specialising in autism ADHD, anxiety, trauma, and brain health. Together, Cliff and Sean look at masking in school, and Sean offers a fresh perspective on why it can actually work in your favour if the school sees your child differently than you do, especially while you're trying to get an EHCP. They explore triggers, routines and CO regulation, and the strategy Sean uses in his practice, including what you can start doing today, and we look at why, understanding our own patterns, first, as adults and parents, can completely transform how we support both ourselves and our children. EPISODE REVEALS Understanding how your own brain works is the first step to managing it rather than fearing it. Simple structures (visual schedules, reminders, alarms, shared calendars) are not “cheats” – they are essential tools that help ADHD and autistic brains function day to day. Schools and families often see very different versions of the same child; both perspectives are valid and vital when seeking assessment, support, and EHCPs. Using a therapist who has lived experience of neurodivergence themselves can be more impactful than qualifications alone. Actively challenge “I’m not good enough” stories and help your children to recognise evidence of their real-life strengths. Practising confident body language and self-talk can gently grow genuine confidence over time for both children and adults. Nature, movement, and creative hobbies are regulating for many neurodivergent people and often better than tech. There is no one right path, only what is safest and most supportive for each person. BEST MOMENTS “There is real hope that you can change your or your loved ones lives.” "Our (neurodiverse) brain develops 30% slower. So, our brain is 30% immature. So, when you've got 15-year-olds, they may believe they're 15-year-olds, but they're going on 10." "I never met one client who only has ADHD." "They want to give you amphetamine they want to activate and stimulate your brain when you may have already an overactive brain." GUEST DETAILS www.theadhdexpert.com https://www.newmetherapy.com/ https://www.instagram.com/theadhdexpert_/ https://www.facebook.com/SeanMc71Nicholas/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/sean-mcnicholas-33ab79b7/ https://www.newmetherapy.com/adhdtherapy Panorama program - https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001m0f9 RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!

In this special episode, Cliff shares highlights from a powerful conversation his daughter Eva and I had on Helping Teachers Thrive, a brilliant podcast hosted by teacher Tem. They discuss how Eva’s notebook helps her regulate and stay engaged, explore sensory overwhelm, mind breaks, fidget toys, and the small classroom changes that can completely transform a child’s experience. Whether you’re a teacher or a parent, you’ll hear honest insights and practical ideas for supporting neurodivergent children so they can truly thrive in school and at home. EPISODE REVEALS Eva’s notebook isn’t a distraction, it’s a regulation tool that helps her manage emotions and stay present, even though it doesn’t look like “traditional” listening. When schools respond to behaviour with curiosity instead of punishment, children feel safer, more motivated, and more able to learn. A reward-focused, strengths-based system gives children a reason to engage, instead of making them afraid of getting things “wrong.” When a child feels truly understood at school, their confidence grows and spills over into other areas of life including clubs, hobbies, and friendships. What can look like doing nothing at parties or in groups is often a child carefully protecting themselves from sensory and social overwhelm. Short, supported breaks and quiet spaces are essential tools that help neurodivergent children stay regulated enough to learn. Fidget toys, doodling, and notebooks aren’t just “extras;” they’re simple regulation tools that keep hands busy so brains can stay focused. Shutdowns as signs of overwhelm, not bad behaviour. BEST MOMENTS "In my old school, the teachers didn't really recognise us that they just saw as she's not listening so but in my new school, they see as she is listening, just in her own way." "Allow the student time to process." "The problem with the cards, from a teacher's perspective, is I don't want to single that child out." “Let them fidget with (the toy) underneath the table, so it doesn't distract other kids. It just helps them, like, do something with the hands.” “I see kids drawing on their hands all the time. I didn't actually think that is helping them regulate.” EPISODE RESOURCES You can listen to the full episode here - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/supporting-neurodiverse-children-autism-adhd-insights/id1681843058?i=1000738444038 RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!

This episode is dedicated to a friend of Cliff´s, Jamie, who first told him about the Inner Chimp Paradox and recommended the book and the techniques he and Eva are exploring, today. Everyone has an inner chimp that self-blame voice, which nags them, shames them, and tells them they are rubbish at everything. It is normal, but people with neurodiverse brains feel criticism more deeply, so if their inner chimp is not kept in check, it can do a lot of damage. Cliff and Eva discuss how to put your inner chimp back in its box. EPISODE REVEALS ·      The chimp in your head is that negative side that always shames you, says you're useless, makes you feel rubbish – self-blame.  ·      Everybody has an inner chimp. Whether you’re neurotypical or neurodiverse. But ADHD brains feel criticism much more than a neurotypical one does. Letting your inner chimp do as it pleases can lead to ADHD burnout and really dark thoughts. ·      For neurodiverse people, the impact of the criticism from their inner chimp can cause them to spiral downwards, so it is particularly important to be aware of your inner chimp and learn how to put him back in his box.  ·      Befriend your chimp. Speak to your chimp like you would a friend who's suffering. If you see someone who's being grumpy, what would you say to that person? ·      Deep breathing helps a lot - Banana for the chimp, oxygen for the human. ·      Kindness regulate ADHD faster – including self-kindness. BEST MOMENTS "There is a grumpy monkey living in your head ." “Give your brain a hug, not hate mail.” "Anxiety is there for quick, short bursts of energy to keep us safe, keep us active. But in today's world anxiety has turned against us." "We are going to name the chimp. Let it know we are the boss. We're going to tell our chimp to chill. ." "Perfection is a trap – good enough ships." EPISODE RESOURCES Helping Teachers Thrive Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/helping-teachers-thrive/id1681843058 The Chimp Paradox Book - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Chimp-Paradox-Acclaimed-Management-Confidence/dp/B006WCJ9OS RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!

Today, Cliff is joined once again by his daughter Eva and Yo Jeff a dating coach and published author of The Hip Hop Dating Guide that is available on Amazon. Check the description for the link. Last time Jeff was here, he talked to Eva about confidence, friendships and building skills. Today, they're catching up on how she got on with those challenges, the progress she's made. They also discuss how to handle rejection, harsh self-talk, and navigate those messy, early steps into teenage connection. EPISODE REVEALS Having a calm, trusted adult to talk to about confidence, friendships and dating can make things feel more manageable. Showing up and trying, even if you freeze or can’t follow through, is still progress. Courage is built in layers, not in one perfect moment. When someone is warm online but avoids spending time with you in real life, it usually reflects their fears and limits not anything you’ve done wrong. Rejection is painful, but each “no” is also practice. Practice at communicating, understanding yourself better, and choosing healthier connections. When your confidence is knocked consciously replenishing your reserves helps e.g. art, gaming, or creative projects. Friendships and dating are long games. You get good at them by repetition, not perfection. Trying again is how confidence and real connection are built. You might not end up dating every person you like, but you might meet someone wonderful through their friends. It’s worth keeping friendships, and practicing your social skills, even when romance doesn’t work out. BEST MOMENTS "It's really important to celebrate these little wins, because actually, they start mounting up into big wins." "You're going to work through that pain, and then once you get to the other side of that, reignite that friendship." "If you become really good at something, it will impact your self-confidence on everything." EPISODE RESOURCES https://podcasts.apple.com/es/podcast/navigating-friendships-and-dating-on-the-spectrum/id1810681675?i=1000733947794 ABOUT THE GUESTS JEFF CARROLL For one-on-one dating advice and coaching, contact Jeff via - coachyojeff@gmail.com https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_22asKR-3-Y https://www.facebook.com/CoachYoJeff The Hip Hop Dating Guide - https://a.co/d/gwDdKTH EVA KILMISTER Eva´s YT channel Inspire With Us - https://www.youtube.com/@InspireWithUsYT Eva Kilmister - Art Sketch Book - Blank Pages Sketch Pad - https://amzn.eu/d/i8v4VkA RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!

Today, Cliff is joined by Vicky, founder of the happy, healthy unicorn. Her daughter was diagnosed with severe non-verbal autism at four years old, and what happened next completely changed their lives. Vicky shares how nutrition, gut health and tiny step by step changes helped her daughter move from daily struggle to real progress, and how any parent can start making gentle changes without overwhelming their child. If your child lives on beige foods, craves sugar, or reacts intensely to everyday life. This episode is definitely for you. Let's dive in. EPISODE REVEALS When autistic children don’t get enough of the right nutrients, their bodies prioritise basic survival functions like breathing over non-essential functions like focus, learning, speech, and eye contact. A more nutritious, less processed diet gives children´s brains more fuel to work with. Each tiny new food you add is extra fuel for your child’s brain and gut—and over time, those small changes can really lift how they feel and function. Many autistic and ADHD children gravitate to beige, carby foods because they provide a quick sugar hit, have a neutral smell and feel safe. Sweet or carby foods don’t provide sustainable energy and feed “bad” gut bugs. A vicious cycle that slowly gets worse. Gradual change is the key to diet changes, including going gluten or dairy free. Take the food they do enjoy and gradually tweak things to make it healthier rather than banning your child from eating the foods they love, overnight. Use food chaining to gently widen their diet, for example turning favourite cereal into cereal bars with oats, seeds, and nut butter, then adding those ingredients back into the cereal bowl. Change together as a family, work towards not having unhealthy foods in the home. BEST MOMENTS "By getting her body into good health, we found she could actually have a functional, beautiful life - she could communicate, have friends and not hurt herself." "If your body is not getting those nutrients, then that energy is depleted, and then the energy that your body needs to fulfil non-essential functioning will not be there anymore." "It’s all about meeting your child where they are at. put yourself into your child’s shoes." “The diet is imperative. It's fuel, isn't it? - You're either fuelling or you're poisoning.” EPISODE RESOURCES https://thehappyhealthyunicorn.com RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!

Eva is back. Today, we're talking about executive function, or, as we like to call it, your brain's superhero - it´s CEO. We discuss why it sometimes goes on strike and what you can do to quickly kickstart it. The conversation also dives deep into digital IDs, freedom of speech, and Eva provides some teenage honesty, including what it's like to create and share online. EPISODE REVEALS Executive function is like the brain’s CEO; it organises thoughts and actions. Your executive function can “go on strike,” making focus and organisation especially tough for people with ADHD. When executive function falters, being motivated through rewards and engaging in activities that release dopamine can re-engage attention and effort, especially for neurodiverse children. Exercise and making things fun are two examples. The introduction of digital IDs raises concerns about privacy, freedom of speech, and social control. Creating content for YouTube allows for self-expression and community, but navigating age-appropriate topics and online feedback presents challenges. It is vital parents are there to provide support. Maintaining an online presence as a teenager does put pressure on them, but finding platforms and content types that suit their interests and values helps them to learn to balance digital engagement with maintaining personal boundaries. BEST MOMENTS "Your CEO, your (brain´s executive function), also thrives off of dopamine in ways that you love. For example, one of your favourite things - laughing." “For instance, I really don’t like doing the vibrating plate, but if you give me a reward for it, then I would want to do it more to get that reward.” “The advent of digital IDs raises concerns about privacy, freedom of speech, and social control, highlighting the importance of critical awareness." Eva´s InspireWithUS contacts https://www.youtube.com/@InspireWithUsYT https://www.tiktok.com/@iwuyt_87 RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister/⁠ X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!

Today, in this slightly different episode, Cliff talks about something that hit a nerve with a lot of parents and teachers, and probably even with people who are neuro diverse that don't have kids - the comments Richard Tice from Reform UK, made about neuro divergent children and labelling. Cliff also welcomes his mum to the episode to share personal and family experiences of neurodivergence across generations. Interestingly, their discussion includes several new revelations – things they had not realised until today´s conversation. EPISODE REVEALS Accurate diagnosis is essential. Without these diagnostic “labels” it is impossible to provide or gain access to the tailored support neurodivergent children need to be able to learn and succeed in life. Withdrawing or stigmatising sensory tools like ear defenders, as Richard Tice has suggested, undermines the well-being of neurodivergent children by removing the very things that enable them to cope, learn and eventually thrive. Simply stating that 1000s of children have been misdiagnosed does not make it so. This attitude is creating a situation where people think leaving neurodivergent children to “just get on with it” is somehow acceptable. Looking back, knowing what they know now about autism and ADHD, Cliff and his mum can see that generations of the family were neurodivergent. Cliff’s mother needed to physically interact with letters, to touch and trace them, to understand their shapes and learn the alphabet. She was not allowed to do this, so struggled to learn to read. In the end, she worked out her own system and learned to read that way. BEST MOMENTS "Labels aren't the problem, the suffering without support and the misunderstanding and the uneducated opinions of other people is." "What Richard Tice is suggesting is a move back to what doesn't work. It hasn't worked for generations - it's time for change." "The education system doesn't spot it, and they just let them struggle. It's very sad." "She was told off for everything – even playtime." "She (Cliff´s grandmother) had to be in the corner with a dunce's hat on… and it happened at every school she went to." “Our children aren't a new problem. They're part of a long history of neurodivergent people who have been forced to cope without support.” RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!

Cliff speaks with Lara Barnes, the founder of Brain Development UK. Lara helps children with autism, ADHD and learning differences by rebuilding the foundation of the brain through sensory work and primitive reflex integration. She shares some simple tests you can do at home and the details of exercises and tools you can buy and use yourself to significantly help your child. If your child struggles with balance, communication, is non-verbal, has challenges with coordination, incontinence, reading or focus, this conversation is especially important for you. EPISODE REVEALS ·      Early brain development can be positively influenced by rebuilding foundational sensory and reflex pathways, especially for neurodiverse children. ·      Achieving motor milestones e.g. rolling, crawling, and tummy time are critical for long-term development. Their absence, delay, or acceleration can be a warning sign. ·      Stimulating the spinal gallant reflex can help to address incontinence.  ·      Foundational reflexes and sensory integration directly affect vision and higher learning functions; simple at-home assessments can identify areas for support.  ·      Sensory input, in particular through touch and vibration can improve body awareness and brain development. ·      If you can´t feel your tongue fully, speech is difficult. Lara recommends a simple tool to help stimulate the mouth. ·      Gradual and consistent sensory work can greatly reduce hypersensitivity. ·      Dietary change is a highly effective starting point. There is a lot of support available to help with this. ·      Small, consistent changes really do make a huge difference. BEST MOMENTS “I help to reset the foundation of the brain … and we utilize the sensory system to do that.”    “If a child was contained a lot e.g. in a car seat … sometimes those reflexes just don't integrate.”    “I'd identify what side of the brain is weaker, and then we would do exercises for that too, and use sensory stimulus on that area and it doesn't take long.”   “There's so much parents can do themself.”   “You can actually buy a cheap power plate…for them to play on or sit on.”   “If you feel your body, you can relate to other people.”   “Start with diet."   EPISODE RESOURCES https://www.braindevelopment.co.uk lara@braindevelopment.co.uk Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-brain-development-podcast/id1825344229 Socials @braindevelopmentUK   Stimulating toothbrush - https://bristlscience.com – use the discount code shared in the episode to get 10% off.   Dairy free chocolate - https://www.ombar.com/oatmlk and https://montybojangles.com/products/cocoa-nib-nights   RESOURCES   Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw     CONTACT ME   Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister/⁠ X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD   HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!

Today, Cliff speaks with Jodie Steele about her experience with ADHD burnout, how it affected her health, her family and her life, and the steps she took to recover and rebuild. This episode is an honest look at what burnout really feels like when you have ADHD, and what can help you find your way back. EPISODE REVEALS True ADHD burnout goes far beyond exhaustion; it can trigger a severe, life-threatening neurological shutdown - Functional Neurological Disorder (FND). Physical symptoms can include stroke-level hypertension, adult-onset asthma, and fibromyalgia. If you have ADHD, it is particularly important to learn to listen to your body, ignoring can allow burnout to creep up on you. Once that happens it can take several years to recover. Teach your children to look after themselves, recognise the signs they are not doing well and what to do should that happen. Masking is not healthy. Bottling things up and burying who you really are puts a huge strain on your body, which makes burnout more likely. We spend a lot of time at work, so it is particularly important that you work in an environment in which you can flourish. Do everything you can to support your body: eat well, exercise, socialise, have interests and sleep enough. You are not going to get everything right 100% of the time but do make looking after yourself in these areas a priority. Getting back to nature massively helped Jodie. If you do get ill, having a strong support community (tribe) will make a huge difference. Make building your network of family and friends and finding a supportive partner a priority. It will also help to make burnout a lot less likely. BEST MOMENTS "A flower might not flourish in one corner of the house, but you just move it into the other side of the house, and suddenly it's big. It's beautiful." "If you don't pay attention to your body and what your body's saying to you, it will keep throwing extra things at you until you do." "Before I had the diagnosis, I used to beat myself up. Whereas now I can be a lot kinder with myself about everything. I'll giggle at my own sort of mishap." "Put yourself with the right people. Find, like you say, - find your tribe." GUEST RESOURCES https://alchemysoulstravel.com alchemysoulstravel@gmail.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodie-steele RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister/⁠ X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!

For today’s Parenting ADHD and Autism episode, Cliff sits down to chat with Alison Kerr, a mum who discovered her own neurodivergence through her daughter’s autism and ADHD diagnosis. She opens up about the hormonal and neurodivergent roller coaster that has shaped her life and the healing path that helped her find balance again. In particular, she talks about a condition that is far more prevalent in the neurodivergent community than it is in the neurotypical community - Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD). As you listen, please let Cliff know, in the comments, if any of this feels familiar and share your experience. EPISODE REVEALS ·      Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) is more common amongst neurodivergent women. ·      If you notice your mood or behaviour changing, especially irritability, try tracking your menstrual cycle to see if there is a connection. ·      PMDD can cause suicidal thoughts that follow a woman´s menstrual cycle. ·      Parents of girls with ADHD need to keep an eye out for PMDD. ·      Look out for signs that you are self-medicating to deal with extreme mood swings. Alison was like Jekyll and Hyde depending on where she was in her cycle. ·      Alison found that traditional hormone-based solutions did not help here PMDD. In fact, it made things worse. She only got relief through homeopathy. BEST MOMENTS "I was a slave to my hormones, exacerbating the difficulties that already had because of the neurodivergence that I was unaware of." "It was just like, chalk and cheese, Jekyll and Hyde." "The more knowledge you have, the more you can support yourself through it, when support seems to be so lacking." "People who are neurodivergent, they're good leaders a lot of the time and we can make positive change." EPISODE RESOURCES SensItive The Untold Story - https://sensitivethemovie.com https://elizabethperu.com https://thetelepathytapes.com RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME  Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!

Cliff speaks with Dr. Mohita the Founder & CEO of The Cognitome Program. During their conversation they explore an evidence-based approach to supporting children with ADHD and autism. If you're interested in helping your child build cognitive flexibility through mindfulness, movement and creativity, this episode is for you today. Dr Mojito explains how understanding the brain helps us connect, not correct, and shares practical strategies you can try at home. EPISODE REVEALS The Cognitone Program is a holistic, neuroscientific approach that is designed to gently train and strengthen cognitive functions for children with ADHD and autism The program uses techniques like mindfulness, neurokinetic exercises, art, and music that are designed to be enjoyable, flexible, and tailored to each child’s interests and needs. The programme is grounded in neuroscience and focuses on supporting each child´s unique brain wiring rather than attempting to fix perceived deficits. You can access the program from anywhere in the world and it can be delivered remotely. Parents are fully involved and treated as partners. Brain mapping/EEG and regular, supported sessions can also be arranged online. Simple routines like the stoplight practice give children tools for emotional self-regulation by engaging both their emotions and logical thinking. Use the Plan A Plan B game to help your children to problem solve, accept that plans change, prepare for the unexpected and stay engaged. BEST MOMENTS "ADHD and autism are not deficits. They are just different patterns of our neural connectivity." "The goal isn't to fix a child; it is to provide them with tools to understand their own magnificent brains." "When they feel safe and connected to you, their brain is far more capable of learning and adapting." "Mindfulness is far more than just relaxation, you know, it’s a form of focus, attention and cognitive flexibility training." GUEST RESOURCES https://cognitomeprogram.me https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-mohita-shrivastava RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister/⁠ X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!

In this episode, Cliff dives into one of the most emotional topics for teens on the spectrum - friendships, dating and how to connect with others in a world that can feel confusing, overwhelming or even isolating. He is joined by Jeff Carroll, author, Comic Book Creator and dating coach, who brings humour, empathy and some seriously powerful advice for building confidence and communication skills. Eva is also back on the mic, sharing her own challenges and experiences navigating social life as a young autistic girl. Whether your child is already asking questions about relationships or they're still trying to figure out how to make that first friend. This conversation is full of ideas, laughs and real-life tools to help them take the next step. EPISODE REVEALS Bear in mind that all teens experience peer pressure and anxiety about fitting in, making friends and dating. You are not alone in your struggle. Dating, like any other life skill, takes practice. Face to face clubs are great places to hone the skills you need for dating. After school, church led, art, creative and gaming clubs are particularly good places to go. Be brave, volunteer or get a job that means you have to talk to people. Know what you want from someone you are going to date, make a contract with yourself, so you don´t end up dating people who are wrong for you. Understand the potential dangers and pitfalls of dating so you can spot red flags early and safely exit the relationship. Set boundaries and stick to them. BEST MOMENTS "Anything you can do to get you to talk to people is a step forward." "You might not like anybody in the club, but you're not there to like them. You're there to get your skills up on how to talk to people." "You don’t want peer pressure to guide you either. You want to naturally find somebody." ABOUT THE GUESTS JEFF CARROLL For one-on-one dating advice and coaching, contact Jeff via - coachyojeff@gmail.com https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_22asKR-3-Y https://www.facebook.com/CoachYoJeff The Hip Hop Dating Guide — available on https://a.co/d/gwDdKTH Fangernails (comic series) — available direct from Jeff The Last Harlemite (comic series) — available via Amazon and comic bookstores EVA KILMISTER Eva´s YT channel Inspire With Us - https://www.youtube.com/@InspireWithUsYT Eva Kilmister - Art Sketch Book - Blank Pages Sketch Pad - https://amzn.eu/d/i8v4VkA RESOURCES Cliff´s book “What To Do When Your Child Shuts Down” - ⁠⁠https://amzn.eu/d/3trk6pw Cliff Kilmister - The Mandela Effect - https://amzn.eu/d/0jWpc2H CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister/⁠ X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change!