Claim OwnershipThe Post-Divorce Glow-Up Show
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Ever wish you could hang out with a smart, funny, sexy divorced bff who could tell you how she does it all? Now you can! Join certified life coach Quinn Otrera each week as she spills the tea on everything from co-parenting with an angry ex to getting your sexy back to creating an intentional path for growth to getting a restraining order – not necessarily in that order. Buckle up, girlfriend! It’s time for your post-divorce glow-up!
78 Episodes
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I share why I’m pausing this podcast at Episode 78 and shifting my focus toward women’s healthcare and midwifery. Then I close our Embodiment series by making “spiritual” practical: intuition in plain language, movement that feels safe, tiny rituals that actually fit real life, and a gentle seven-day plan to try right away. What I cover Why I’m pressing pause and where you’ll still find me (Britta Jo’s Stay or Go community and her Substack; occasional guest spots)What “spiritual” means to me ...
Quinn opens with a Halloween full-circle moment—house full of kids, step-siblings, laughter, candy—and pivots into the heart of Part 3: pleasure and boundaries as part of healing. We name common post-divorce patterns (fawn, freeze, “loneliness bargains”), ditch the shame, and use a simple order—Safety → Curiosity → Consent—before any touch (solo or partnered). You’ll learn quick downshifts, the stoplight check (Green/Yellow/Red), how to build a Yes/No/Maybe list (hello, kink jars), a gentle s...
Quinn unpacks how the nervous system asks one question all day—Am I safe?—and why fight/flight/freeze/fawn are wise survival patterns (not personal failures). You’ll learn fast, gentle regulation tools (physiological sigh, orienting, butterfly hug, vagal “voo”/humming), see them in action via pop-culture and literature examples, and leave with a 7-day plan to widen your window of tolerance. The aim: move from bracing for impact to breathing easier—then building a calmer, safer life you actual...
Quinn kicks off a month-long series on embodiment—the practice of living in your body with safety, honesty, and aliveness—especially after divorce. We explore why so many of us disconnect (hello, codependency, fawn, freeze, dissociation), why that was smart survival, and how to start coming home to yourself with gentle, doable steps. This is about belonging to you—not performing for anyone else. What You’ll Learn Embodiment 101: It’s awareness and presence—treating your body as your home, not...
Quinn and Britta Jo sit down after Britta’s first Stay or Go retreat to explore what women are truly craving—real connection. From Brené Brown’s words—“we are neurobiologically hardwired for connection”—to stories of women finding sisterhood in the messy middle of divorce, this conversation dives into what happens when women finally stop trying to “do it all alone.” Together, they unpack: Why the absence of connection always leads to suffering—and what that really means.How patriarchal and ca...
In this raw and electric episode, Quinn cracks open what it really means to live in the messy middle — that in-between season where you’ve left the old life but haven’t yet stepped fully into the new. You’ve filed the papers, moved out, maybe even bought new sheets… but somehow, you still feel stuck. This week, Quinn pulls together science, soul, and straight talk to show you that you’re not broken — you’re charging. 💥 In this episode: Why the middle feels like both everything and nothing is ...
In this episode, Quinn cracks open Yuval Noah Harari’s Sapiens and shows how its central idea—that humans rule the world because we can create and share stories—directly applies to divorce. Marriage? A story. Divorce-as-failure? A story. Myths about women’s value, motherhood, and happiness? Stories. Quinn weaves history, Harari’s insights, and her own lived experience to reveal how deeply we’ve been shaped by cultural fictions—and how liberating it is to see them for what they are. Divorce do...
In this week’s episode, I dive into An Immense World by Ed Yong and what it teaches us about life after divorce. Aristotle may have told us we only have five senses (he was wrong about that and about women), but neuroscience shows we actually have 20+ ways of perceiving the world. And here’s the magic: divorce is like being dropped into a brand-new sensory universe. The signals you relied on in marriage don’t apply anymore—you get to recalibrate, upregulate, and expand your perception of life...
Quinn gets real about estrangement: when a child requests no contact, how do you keep loving without self-erasure? In this intimate conversation, Quinn shares their experience with an adult son who cut contact in November 2023, the grief of “losing someone who’s still alive,” and the radical shift from controlling outcomes to controlling self: nervous system care, boundaries, honest self-inventory, and clean apologies grounded in Pete Walker’s framework. Key takeaways Two truths can coexist: ...
Quinn opens with a personal update on last week’s co-parenting conversation with Britta and why the extended chat now lives on Britta’s Substack. From there, Quinn digs into a hard question: How do we ethically glow up when Gaza, Sudan, Ukraine, ICE raids, creeping fascism, and inflation are part of daily life? Her answer: a glow-up ≠ vanity. It’s alignment. It’s choosing where to invest (time, money, energy) and where to divest (relationships, brands, beliefs, guilt) so your life becomes a l...
Quinn and Britta dive into one of the most gut-wrenching challenges women face when considering or navigating divorce: the “agony” of 50/50 custody. How do you cope with the heartbreak of being away from your kids—even if your co-parent is safe and trustworthy? And what if you’re the one who has always been the anchor parent, the one who knows the bedtime routine, the favorite snacks, the little cues no one else sees? 💔 In this episode, we talk about: The grief and fear of losing time with yo...
What if the things you think you’re “bad at” aren’t flaws, but simply skills you haven’t practiced yet? This week’s episode is about stripping away the shame and drama around struggle and seeing it for what it is: a skill you can learn. I share a moment with my health coach that completely shifted my perspective—when she told me that eating three meals a day instead of snacking was “just a skill.” Those three little words took the heaviness out of the struggle and opened the door to an entire...
Too many women wear divorce like a scarlet letter — a permanent label that defines their worth, parenting, relationships, and future. In this episode, Quinn shares how she refuses to let divorce define her life and instead uses it as fuel to expand into new possibilities, like going back to school and building a bigger, bolder life than ever before. We’ll explore: Why “divorced” is not your permanent identity — and why you don’t owe anyone that box on a form.How divorce can make you a better ...
This week’s episode is a love letter to one of the riskiest, most liberating beliefs I’ve ever adopted: It is safe to rely on the generosity and honesty of strangers. I’m sharing the story of how buying a quirky little car on eBay completely rewired how I move through life as a divorced woman, single parent, and human navigating the daily grind. We’ll talk about: How divorce and betrayal shrink your “trust radius”Why suspicion feels safe but is actually a prisonWhat Diana Chapman’s worl...
Divorce may be the end of a marriage, but it’s not the end of your becoming. In this episode, Quinn gets personal and powerful about what it’s like to go back to school in your 50s, what it means to reinvent your career and identity post-divorce, and why the idea that you’re “too old” or “too late” is a damn lie. From brain science to time management, from limiting beliefs to midlife clarity—this episode is a love letter to every woman who’s felt the spark to try something new but shut hersel...
We’re diving into the real reason you feel stuck—and it’s not your ex, your job, or your dating life. It’s the story your brain is telling you on repeat. Quinn shares a deeply personal moment with her ex-husband that triggered a cascade of thoughts… and how she used it as a powerful teaching moment. You'll learn how your brain is wired to protect you—not empower you—and what to do about it. This episode will show you how to: Tell the difference between facts and the story your brain is spinni...
Have you ever caught yourself thinking: “I’ll finally be okay when he apologizes.” “I’ll feel whole when I meet the right person.” “I just need closure…” That, my friend, is what we call a healing fantasy—and this week’s episode is all about busting that myth wide open. In this raw and revealing solo episode, Quinn explores the healing fantasy trap so many of us fall into post-divorce. Through personal stories, client breakthroughs, and the wisdom of thought leaders like Byr...
“Straight people, are you okay?” In part two of our electric conversation about The Tragedy of Heterosexuality by Jane Ward, Britta and Quinn leave behind history class and drop into the raw, personal reality of living inside a system not built for emotional or erotic fulfillment—especially for women. 💔 We go there: What it feels like to be in a marriage that deadens desire and gaslights your truthThe silent epidemic of women waking up every day thinking, “I wish I was dead”Sex as performanc...
In this spicy, eye-opening episode, Quinn and Britta take a wild ride through the history and heartbreak of heterosexuality—inspired by Jane Ward’s brilliant book, The Tragedy of Heterosexuality. They explore: 🕰️ The surprising history of how romantic heterosexual love was never the default—and how the invention of modern marriage was more about control than connection.🧠 The role of patriarchy and capitalism in shaping straight relationships into something that often feels unsatisfying, espec...
It’s not magic. It’s muscle memory. Quinn returns this week with a powerful message: your glow-up isn’t built in the moments of clarity—it’s built in the reps. Drawing from personal stories (including cult recovery, parenting nine kids, and coaching women post-divorce), they share how practicing calm, boundaries, and new emotional habits is the key to becoming who you really want to be. In this episode: The science + stoicism behind “we don’t rise to our expectations, we fall to our training...
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