Claim OwnershipDurable Dad with Tommy Geary
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© 2025 Durable Dad with Tommy Geary
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The Durable Dad podcast gives men the skills and tools they need to be rock solid for their family, their work and their community.
110 Episodes
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Nonstop action has rewarded you for years—but it’s quietly draining the energy that makes you effective at work and present at home. Constant motion eventually backfires. Highlights Why pride in exhaustion is costing you patience, clarity, and connectionThe three stories men tell themselves to avoid slowing downWhy scrolling and “checking out” isn’t real recoveryWhy recharging is a leadership move, not a personal indulgenceStop calling exhaustion commitment—it’s usually mismanagement Before ...
Most men say they want growth, but avoid the unfamiliar territory where it actually happens. Highlights: • Why comfort pulls high-achieving men into quiet ruts. • The link between physical challenge and feeling alive again. • The Rim to River adventure. • What happens when you train for something that scares you a little. • How unfamiliar experiences reset your mindset more than any routine tweak. Takeaways: • Schedule something on your calendar that requires preparation. • When discom...
Most men make decisions out of convenience or pressure—and end up with regret or resentment. Highlights: • The difference between working in your life versus working on it • Why most men lose purpose—and drift into distraction • How a North Star makes big decisions easier • The three questions to define your North Star: values, impact, and energizers • How a simple North Star gives you clarity when tough choices show up • Why alignment—not hustle—creates steadiness at home • A client s...
It’s not the outburst that matters—it’s what’s driving it. Highlights: • The text from Tommy’s mom that exposed how quickly frustration can surface • Why anger is a part of you—not all of you • How Internal Family Systems (IFS) helps men understand their reactions • What anger is really after • The link between frustration and how we parent • What changes when you pause and get curious about your reaction • Simple ways to quiet your “angry part” before it takes the wheel Takeaways: Sto...
Most men feel a twinge of guilt when they leave home—whether it’s for work, a trip, or adventure. This episode breaks down how to handle it without losing presence or connection. Highlights: The moment in the Grand Canyon that reframed what “leaving well” really meansWhy guilt shows up for good men—and what it’s actually telling youThe hidden cost of trying to control your wife’s emotionsHow to prepare your family without overcompensatingThe three-part framework: Acknowledge. Let go. Redefine...
Sometimes the fastest way forward is by cutting back. Highlights: The trap of piling on more goals when your plate is already full.Common “small negatives” that erode connection at home—screens, alcohol, quick yes’s, passive jabs.Why eliminating what drags you down works better than predicting what will lift you up.Insights from Tim Ferriss, Greg McKeown, and Nassim Taleb on the art of subtraction.Removing marriage habits that create distance and start opening space for real connection.Takeaw...
Misplaced attention fuels frustration, fear, and sadness. Most men underestimate how much power they give away when they let the news and social media dictate their attention. Highlights: Why misplaced attention drains productivity and sleepHow headlines turn conversations pessimistic and repetitiveThe hidden impact on parenting decisions and family lifeThe simple practice that reveals what’s really underneath the angerTakeaways: Your attention is your power—choose where it goes.Guard against...
Most of us only see the distance to our ideal. In this episode we look at using our progress to propel us. We cover: • The framework of “the gap and the gain” and why it matters • Why focusing on the gap creates more frustration at home and work • Simple daily practice to shift your brain toward the gain • Two situations where “focusing on the gain” can backfire—and what to do instead Practical takeaways: • End each day by writing down three wins—big or small. • Measure progress backward, aga...
Most men try to push themselves forward with criticism—but that fuel burns out fast. Episode Highlights: Why putting pressure on ourselves feels logical but actually drains energyHow early success conditions us to rely on fear and shameSigns your self-talk is undermining motivation (numbing out, overworking, chasing validation)The shift from critic to cheerleader—what it sounds like in real lifeTakeaways: Notice when your self-talk is critical and learn to reflect on the impact.Trade pressure...
Family trips aren’t vacations. They’re rollercoasters—packed with logistics, too many personalities, and unmet expectations. In this episode, we dive into what a request for chips can reveal about expectations, irritation, and presence. Plus, the creative shift behind the podcast, and what it means to keep showing up as a dad, husband, and creator when life changes. Highlights: The difference between a vacation and a family tripWhy unmet expectations lead to frustrationCoaching insight:...
Feeling behind leads to reactive days, scattered focus, and that constant low-level stress that won’t let up. This episode breaks down a real-world strategy to reset that cycle and get back in control. Inside, you’ll hear how one executive went from spiraling through stress to calmly attacking his day—by shifting his mindset and using a simple 4-step planning process. This isn’t about hustle or hacks. It’s about getting grounded, clear, and intentional when life is full. What you’ll learn: Ho...
Most high-performing men pride themselves on staying calm, staying positive, and getting through hard stuff fast. But when your wife is upset, that instinct to cheer her up or look on the bright side is doing more harm than good. In this episode, we talk about why emotional reflexes—though well-intended—can actually push your partner away. We’ll cover: Why men shut down or push past emotions—and how that breaks connectionHow the habit of fixing or reframing keeps you from being presentWhat em...
Lots of guys are wired to push—at work, in training, and for your family. But the real challenge isn’t pushing harder… it’s knowing when to pause. In this episode, we unpack what it actually means to do the hard thing as a high-performing man. It’s not just finishing a Spartan race. It’s staying calm with your kids. It’s being present at a family event you’d rather skip. It’s learning how to quiet the part of you that always wants to go. Highlights: Why the “grind” mindset stops working at ho...
The real reason most high-achieving men feel behind: they’re busy, but not productive. In this episode, we share how to use the Eisenhower Matrix to stop the overwhelm and start making real progress—in business, relationships, and training. This quick mindset and strategy shift will help you get clear on what actually matters. Highlights: Why “busy” doesn’t mean productiveFour types of tasks and how to categorize themThe easiest way to clean up your to-do listWhere real growth happens (hint: ...
Our kids are watching. In this ep we cover five essential things our kids should witness their dad doing. Apologize and admit you're wrong.Let them catch you reading instead of scrolling on your phone.Speak kindly about people. Don't gossip or talk low of someone behind their back. (Or to their face.)Respect your wife – Don't talk condescendingly to her or about her.Ask for help.To learn about upcoming outdoor adventure trips with Tommy, go to tommygcoaching.com and join the ...
Ever been ready to relax after a long day at work, but your wife is stressed and so there’s tension in the house for everyone? It’s tempting to tell her to calm down. Chill out. Explain that mud on the carpet isn’t a big deal. But usually this ends up in a full-blown argument. In today's episode, you'll dive into the 3G Model to help you respond in a way that actually strengthens your relationship. Here's what you'll learn: 1️⃣ Grrrr Mode – You snap back when she snaps at you. Not pretty. 2️⃣...
Have you ever asked your wife, "What can I do to help?" during chaos in the home? There's a good chance the question increased her stress level rather than reduced it. Our wife needs us to think, not just do. When men don't absorb some of the mental load that comes with leading a family, resentment builds up. Today's episode will leave you with two main actions that'll help remove pressure from your wife's plate: 1. Step into the CEO role so you can be strategic and proactive. 2. ...
We all have past decisions that make us cringe. Things we'd do differently the second time around, given the chance. But if we don't make peace with those decisions, they'll cause us to procrastinate and overanalyze our decisions today. They'll make a dent in our confidence and lead us to subconsciously question ourselves when we have a big decision on our plate. You'll leave this ep with three steps that'll help you make peace with your past decisions so you can be a confident decision...
Short days, long nights, viruses, and temps in the teens. A lot of guys are feeling weighed down or trapped at this stage in winter. It's an I-gotta-get-out-of-here feeling and it doesn't jive well with our spouse and kids. Today's episode will leave you with four actionable takeaways that'll zap the cabin fever feeling: 1. Put on the proper gear and get outdoors. 2. Declutter or tackle a project. 3. Change your language because your language defines your experience in the world. 4. Wor...
At some point, in the next 365 days, your wife will have a birthday. And for men, this day can weigh on us. What will you get her? What will you do together? How will you make it a great day for her? Thoughtful decisions to be made that we don't have time for. Today's episode will take the pressure off so the birthday planning doesn't wear you down and your wife knows you care. You'll walk away with 3 new strategies that make birthdays seamless: - Keep an ongoing gifts list. - Use your ...
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