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Hope for Spouses

Hope for Spouses

Author: Kim Pullen

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If you are suffering in the wake of your spouse's adultery or sexual addiction, you will find a supportive community here.

Hope for Spouses is a ministry focused on nurturing and growing in intimacy with God and a safe circle of others. As the betrayed, we chose not to be victims but to own our healing, recovery, and ability to thrive regardless of our spouse's choices.

Kim Pullen is the host of Hope for Spouses. Thriving in a 27-year marriage traumatized by adultery and a four-year separation, Kim shares hope and healing with spouses who feel isolated due to sexual sin in their relationship, but don't know how or where to begin their journey.

62 Episodes
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Relationships are build on trust. Trust is built when there is honesty, integrity, and truth between two people. Without truth, a relationship disintegrates. This is exactly why truth in all our relationships is imperative. If you are in a marriage shattered by sexual betrayal, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Any betrayed spouse in their right mind would rather know the truth about their spouse’s sexual sin than continue to be lied to for months or years. Yes, truth hurts, but it is a requirement for marriage as God intended. In this episode of the Hope for Spouses’ Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen uses the scriptures to define truth in relationships, share five reasons why truth is ALWAYS the right choice, and explains HOW we tell the truth is equally important as speaking it. Kim will also share some practical tips how we can respond to other people telling us the truth even when it hurts. ____________________ Just starting your healing journey and need courage and insight? Watch the Hope for Spouses Fierce Masterclass: https://hopeforspouses.com/masterclass To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/call You can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/hopeforspouses/ Need a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspouses/ For more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
We may be able to see how isolation fed or feeds our spouse’s addiction to porn or adultery and ultimately devastated our marriage, but did you know that isolation can be just as a seductive and destructive to YOUR healing? In this episode of the Hope for Spouses’ Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen talks about why isolation is both irresistible and lethal when trying to recover from a spouse’s sexual betrayal. Kim also talks about why it’s so hard to escape isolation and the vital recovery tool God provides that is absolutely necessary for getting healthy and living a life with peace and joy. ____________________ Just starting your healing journey and need courage and insight? Watch the Hope for Spouses Fierce Masterclass: https://hopeforspouses.com/masterclass To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/call You can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/hopeforspouses/ Need a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspouses/ For more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
In the wake of our spouse’s sexual betrayal, we can believe the Bible has answers but have no idea where to start or how to apply what we’re reading. We can go to church but still feel lost, isolated, and alone. We can also feel like we’re at the end of our rope, a ship adrift, unmoored and untethered to anything that feels safe. In this episode of the Hope for Spouses’ Lunchtime Live, Kim talks about the first three steps we have to take in order to not just start the recovery process, but actually move forward into genuine healing from the inside out. We’ll talk about owning our lostness, (really) turning to God, and what it means to change how we think. If you are just beginning your journey or you feel stuck, tune in. ____________________ Just starting your healing journey and need courage and insight? Watch the Hope for Spouses Fierce Masterclass: https://hopeforspouses.com/masterclass To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/call You can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/hopeforspouses/ Need a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspouses/ For more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
Have you been in and out of churches your whole life but are too embarrassed to admit you have no clue how to use the Scriptures to heal from sexual betrayal? Or maybe you are just starting your healing journey and your spiritual journey at the same time and you don’t have a clue where to start. Either way, join Kim Pullen for this episode of the Hope for Spouses’ Lunchtime Live as she discusses the deeper reasons why we don’t turn to the Scriptures for guidance as we try to heal, why we should, and exactly how we can get started. Kim will also give you some practical steps you can take to start applying the Bible to your life to find peace on the inside even when your external life feels like a raging storm ____________________ Just starting your healing journey and need courage and insight? Watch the Hope for Spouses Fierce Masterclass: https://hopeforspouses.com/masterclass To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/call You can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/hopeforspouses/ Need a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspouses/ For more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
Have you ever felt enslaved to thoughts of past trauma that keep you stuck and resistant to healing? In this episode of the Hope for Spouse's Lunchtime Live, Cresenda Jones joins Kim Pullen and discusses how we can apply Neural Linguistic Programing (NLP) and Time Line Therapy to betrayal trauma recovery. Cresenda is a Master NLP Coach and author of "Spiritual Maturity: God's Will for Emotional Health and Healing." Learn the benefits of this very powerful tool and how you can add it to your recovery toolbox! Contact Cresenda at 267.261.5487 for a free consultation. ____________________ Just starting your healing journey and need courage and insight? Watch the Hope for Spouses Fierce Masterclass: https://hopeforspouses.com/masterclass To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/call You can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/hopeforspouses/ Need a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspouses/ For more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
In your recovery, when you find yourself dropping your boundaries prematurely, reacting in anger, or getting caught back up in “the dance” with your unrepentant, sexually addicted spouse, the shame can be overwhelming. “Why did I blow it again? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just do this right?” In this episode of the Hope for Spouses Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen will talk about how making mistakes in the betrayal recovery process—“three steps forward, two steps back”—is actually good for us. Kim will discuss how stumbling through the healing journey exposes our hidden motives, forces us to stop trying to prove our worth to others, teaches us to rely on God and not ourselves, and helps us to wisely and biblically extend grace to ourselves and to others. ________________ To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/call You can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/hopeforspouses/ Need a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspouses/ For more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
Have you been praying for your unrepentant sexually addicted spouse for months or years and instead of changing, they’re more selfish, abusive, and uncaring of how much they’re hurting you? If so, you may be asking yourself, “Why isn’t God changing my spouse? Doesn’t see what I’m going through? Can’t he hear me crying out? Does he even care?” Have you considered you might be asking the wrong questions? In this episode of the Hope for Spouses’ Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen talks about why the question (“Why isn’t God changing my spouse?”) has left you paralyzed, confused, and doubting God’s love. She’ll also share the “better” and the “best” questions you should be asking yourself to see real transformation in your life…and possibly in your marriage. ________________ To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/call You can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/hopeforspouses/ Need a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspouses/ For more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
What are your motives for staying in a marriage marred by sexual betrayal? Is it to safe your marriage, to keep your family together, or to protect your family’s reputation? If you’re separated, what are your motives for setting boundaries, saying “no” to an unrepentant, sexually addicted spouse, or seeking your own recovery? In this episode of the Hope for Spouses’ Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen discusses why some motives that can feel right in the moment can actually lead us down a road with more hardship and pain. Kim will also discuss the only motive for those recovering from either betrayal or addiction that ultimately benefits everyone because of its eternal consequences. ________________ To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/call You can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/hopeforspouses/ Need a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspouses/ For more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
When you find out about your spouse’s sexual betrayal, the war inside your home and inside yourself never seems to end. Sure, there may be momentary truces where life almost feels normal. Then, it happens again. And again--the triggers, the chaos, and the trauma. You’re fighting a battle, but it feels like you’re losing ground every day. Did you ever think you might be fighting the wrong battle or the wrong enemy? In this episode of the Hope for Spouses’ Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen talks about the only battles we can ever win following sexual betrayal—the battle in our head and the battle in our heart. Kim shares from her own recovery and from the scriptures how betrayed spouses can master their thoughts and tame their emotions to win the only battle that matters, and ultimately change the outcome of their life. ________________ To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/call You can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/hopeforspouses/ Need a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspouses/ For more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
Adultery, addiction, mental health, illness, abuse, lack of spirituality are just a few reasons there may be pain and struggle in our marriage. How we choose to look at our pain—particularly emotional pain—our purpose, and this elusive thing called “peace” makes all the difference in the world. In this episode of the Hope for Spouses’ Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen compares God’s view and the world’s view of these three areas. Using scripture, she reveals God’s plan for the pain in our lives, how our purpose is directly linked to our identity, and why peace eludes us when we run after it. ________________ To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/apply You can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/hopeforspouses/ Need a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspouses/ For more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
You and your spouse have been separated for months or even years. They’re still heavily involved in sexual sin with no end in sight, yet they also shows no signs of wanting to divorce? This leaves you lost in limbo: Should I divorce them even though I know how much God hates divorce or should I wait? You may have family ranting, “What are you waiting for? Divorce the #*@%!” while church leaders are telling you divorce is a sin. What do you do when you don’t even know what you want except to stop hurting? In this episode of the Hope for Spouses’ Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen addresses the quandary betrayed, separated spouses feel when their partner is still actively and flagrantly engaged in sexual sin but making no effort to pursue a divorce. Kim will offer some possible reasons why an unfaithful spouse doesn’t want to end their marriage, and she’ll present practical options available to betrayed partners. ________________ To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/call You can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/hopeforspouses/ Need a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspouses/ For more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
What are core wounds? Do I have them? Where do they come from? How do they impact my relationships with my spouse, my kids, my friends, and my relationship with God? In this episode of the Hope for Spouses’ Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen talks about “core wounds” and how they impact every single human being on the planet. She’ll also discuss where these wounds come from, how we got them, the huge role they play in all our relationships, and how we can break the trans-generational chains of sin in our family’s life so our children and our children’s children have a chance to be free. ________________ To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/apply You can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/hopeforspouses/ Need a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspouses/ For more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
Has the shame over your spouse’s sexual sin isolated you from friends and family? Or have you chosen to isolate because you shared your pain with someone you thought was trustworthy only to be treated like a project they needed to fix or further shamed because of your choices? In this episode of the Hope for Spouses’ Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen talks about how we were created for intimacy, how we can identify safe others into which to trust our deepest secrets and shame, and exactly why intimate relationships with safe others are absolutely imperative for our successful recovery from our spouse’s sexual betrayal. Kim will also share about the intimate relationships she built with a circle of safe others and a special resource you can use to create your own personal support system. ________________ To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/apply You can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/hopeforspouses/ Need a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspouses/ For more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
It’s like the world implodes around you. Some are mild, keeping us in a low state of anxiety. Others are sudden and paralyzing. The world calls them panic or anxiety attacks. In the realm of sexual betrayal trauma, we call them emotional triggers, and they can threaten to overwhelm us with fear and the dreaded feeling of no control of our immediate circumstances. In this episode of the Hope for Spouses Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen talks about what emotional triggers are and where they come from. She also talks about how triggers are a normal part of the recovery process, how we can manage them, and—when we’re ready—how we can embrace them as teachers for our own growth and to promote healing in others. Link to seated breathing exercise: https://vimeo.com/244280100 Link to an explanation of EMDR: https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/ Link to an explanations of Neural Linguistic Programming and Time Line Therapy: http://www.cresendajones.com/ ________________ To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/apply You can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/hopeforspouses/ Need a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspouses/ For more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
In this Special Edition of the Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen, founder of the Hope for Spouse’s ministry talks directly to friends and family members of betrayed spouses who are looking for ways to help their loved ones navigate one of the most difficult journeys of their life. Whether you’re a parent, sibling, child, brother or sister in Christ, pastor, co-worker, neighbor, or friend of a betrayed spouse, there are practical things you can do to support your loved one even if you’ve never experienced sexual betrayal yourself. In this episode you’ll learn what your betrayed friend is experiencing and feeling in the wake of the disclosure, exactly what they need to do to start and successfully complete their recovery process, and what they need—and don’t need—from you. Kim will also leave you with some resources you can use to get yourself educated on the betrayal recovery process. ________________ To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/apply You can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/hopeforspouses/ Need a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspouses/ For more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
#48: How to Embrace the Pain of Sexual Betrayal to Find Healing The majority of Western media and our modern culture teach that pain is to be avoided at all costs. Take a pill, binge on entertainment, or work-work-work. Anything to avoid pain or thinking about pain. As betrayed spouses, we can also get caught up in the mindset that the pain of our spouse’s adultery or addiction is something we must either avoid or control. Like the men and women of the scriptures, many of today’s churches erroneously assert that blessings or lack thereof are inextricably linked to God’s approval or disapproval of our lives. But what if that’s not how God views pain at all? What if we have it all wrong? In this episode of the Hope for Spouse’s Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen talks about how spouses who have chosen to follow Jesus must change how they view the pain of their partner’s sexual betrayal and why the world thinks that’s crazy. She’ll also discuss the three biblical “mindshifts” we need in order to heal and to understand pain’s purposeful place in our lives. ________________ To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/call You can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/hopeforspouses/ Need a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspouses/ For more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
Are your thoughts out of control since you found out about your spouse’s infidelity or sexual addiction? Do you feel like you are slowly losing your mind? Do you have a hard time controlling your thoughts about where your spouse is, who they’re with, or what they’re doing? In this episode of the Hope for Spouses Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen shares about her own journey to take captive her thoughts in the wake of her separation from a sexually addicted spouse. Kim will also discuss the root of out-of-control thinking, how you can demolish mental strongholds with deliberate thinking patterns, and how you can fill your mind with the right thoughts from God’s Word to give you the peace that passes understanding regardless of the choices your spouse makes. ________________ To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/call You can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/hopeforspouses/ Need a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspouses/ For more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
Have you been waiting weeks, months, or years for something in your broken marriage to change? Have you cried out to God only to feel like your prayers are stopping at the ceiling? Are you losing faith, getting sicker in heart, sicker physically, depressed or embittered waiting for God to show up in your addicted or adulterous spouse’s life? In this episode of the Hope for Spouses Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen will share about how change works, why we have to look to God and ourselves for real change in our marriage, and how we can draw a line in the sand in order to experience personal victory regardless of the choices our spouse makes. ________________ To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/call You can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/hopeforspouses/ Need a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspouses/ For more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
Has your spouse rejected you for another? Do they turn to porn instead of seeking intimacy with you? Have they abandoned you emotionally or left your marriage all together? Feelings of rejection and abandonment can paralyze us or make us so desperate to hold onto our spouse that we compromise our convictions or values to preserve our marriage. After a time, we don’t recognize ourselves anymore. In this episode of the Hope for Spouses, Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen discusses the truth behind both our spouses’ accusations that we aren’t good enough, our feelings of inadequacy, our terror of abandonment, and how we can turn to God to comfort us and complete us in ways our spouse was never equipped to. ________________ To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/call You can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/hopeforspouses/ Need a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspouses/ For more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
Do you ever find yourself incessantly wondering, “Why did my spouse betray me?” or “Why can’t they stop watching porn?” Sometimes the thoughts drive us into an obsession, make us doubt our own worth, or cause us to question if God really cares or even exists. In this episode of the Lunchtime Live, Hope for Spouses creator Kim Pullen discusses what we CAN and what we CAN’T understand when it comes to our spouse’s addiction, our own recovery, and our what God is doing in both. ________________ To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/call You can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/hopeforspouses/ Need a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspouses/ For more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
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Comments (1)

Cristal Hughes

Just what I needed to hear today. Great message!

Jun 5th
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