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Hope for Spouses

Hope for Spouses

Author: Kim Pullen

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If you are suffering in the wake of your spouse's adultery or sexual addiction, you will find a supportive community here.

Hope for Spouses is a ministry focused on nurturing and growing in intimacy with God and a safe circle of others. As the betrayed, we chose not to be victims but to own our healing, recovery, and ability to thrive regardless of our spouse's choices.

Kim Pullen is the host of Hope for Spouses. Thriving in a 26-year marriage traumatized by adultery and a four-year separation, Kim shares hope and healing with spouses who feel isolated due to sexual sin in their relationship, but don't know how or where to begin their journey.

40 Episodes
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"Why can’t my spouse just stop watching porn, stop looking at women, or stop meeting or being with their affair partner?""Is the trauma my spouse's experienced from childhood just an excuse for them to keep sinning?""How important is it to my husband's recovery for me to work on my own healing?"Join us for this special episode of the Hope for Spouses Lunchtime Live when host Kim Pullen will be joined by Dr. Marcus De Carvalho, a specialist in addiction medicine and psychiatry and author of "Untangling Addiction: A Guide to Recovery Through Jesus-Style Discipleship." Dr. De Carvalho approaches addiction by addressing the biological, social, psychological, and spiritual needs of each of his patients and prescribes deep, vulnerable, spiritually-based relationships as a necessity for recovery.Kim and Dr. De Carvalho will discuss the wise role a godly wife can take in her husband's recovery from sexual addiction.________________To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/applyYou can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesNeed a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesFor more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
Gaslighting, passive-aggressive tactics, intimidation, raging, manipulation, lying, and deflection.All of these are strategies a sexual addict can use to abuse his spouse even if they are in active recovery.What makes this type of abuse so destructive and dangerous is that unlike physical abuse, it doesn’t leave bruises. It doesn’t get a 911 call and a police visit, or send a spouse or child to the ER. In most states, mandatory reporting laws require health care providers to report domestic violence or they can be charged with a misdemeanor. Not so with emotional abuse.The scars of emotional abuse on its victims are depression, isolationism, self-doubt, codependency, low self-esteem, and an inaccurate view of their self-worth.In this episode of the Hope for Spouses Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen talks about how sexual addicts use emotional abuse on their spouse, why they use it, and what options a betrayed spouse has to protect themselves from its continuing devastation.________________To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/applyYou can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesNeed a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesFor more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
When is it Okay to Refuse Sex with a Sexually Addicted Spouse?Are you having sex with your unrepentant sexually addicted spouse in the hope it will keep them from watching porn or pursuing an affair partner?Does your sexual relationship with your spouse feel impersonal and obligatory, like you’re doing it because a godly wife is “supposed” to?Does your spouse blame your lack of desire for sex for why they act out?In this episode of the Hope for Spouses Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen talks about God’s design for sex, how addiction warps God’s plan, the misuse of 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 (“not depriving each other”), and how to create healthy boundaries to promote safety and healing in your recovery process.________________To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/applyYou can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesNeed a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesFor more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
When is it safe to let a sexually addicted spouse back into your life?You’ve been separated from your spouse for weeks, months, or maybe a year, and suddenly he declares he’s changed and wants to come home.Saying life has been hard since he left is an understatement: The kids keep asking for him, the finances are a nightmare, being a single parent is exhausting, and let’s be honest: You’re just plain lonely. You desperately WANT him back, but when is it safe to let an addicted spouse back into your life?• Not when they SAY they’ve changed• Not when they’re nicer to you for a week or a month• Not when they START counseling or attending a support group• Not when they said they were “saved” or “found Jesus”• Not even when they START reading the Bible, praying, or attending churchJoin Kim Pullen for this week’s Hope for Spouses Lunchtime Live where she’ll share from her own life how she knew it was time to end her four-year separation. She’ll also share the signs you can look for to know exactly when your spouse has repented and what YOU can do NOW to be prepare for a successful reconciliation.________________To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/applyYou can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesNeed a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesFor more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
If you’ve been married and living with an unrepentant sexual addict or adulterer and nothing is changing or things seem to be getting worse, separation might be your next and best option for healing and recovery.In this episode of the Hope for Spouses’ Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen talks about conditions in a marriage where separation might be the healthiest alternative, the types of separation especially where finances are a major concern, and the most common reason most spouses feel paralyzed and fearful about such a radical life choice.Kim will also discuss the pros and cons of separation so you can make a reasoned, informed, and spiritually wise decision for what is best for you, your marriage, and your family.________________To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/applyYou can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesNeed a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesFor more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
A Hope for Spouse’s viewer recently messaged us:“You talk about speaking the truth with love, and I’m really struggling with that. Every time I speak with my husband, which isn’t that often, all I want to do is scream at him and be mean because I’m so hurt over everything he’s doing.”The Apostle Paul could relate when he said: “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do” (Romans 7:15).If you feel ashamed because you can’t seem to control your emotions or your tongue in the presence of your addicted or unfaithful spouse, join us for this episode of the Hope for Spouse’s Lunchtime Live. Kim Pullen will talk about how she imperfectly got past feelings of hurt and betrayal so she could lovingly and respectfully talk to your unrepentant and unfaithful husband, an act that ultimately contributed to his repentance and their reconciliation and what the scriptures say about all of it.________________To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/applyYou can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesNeed a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesFor more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
I was separated from my unfaithful husband for four lonely and painful years until he radically changed. God himself waited hundreds of years for his “bride” to repent of her unfaithfulness to Him.How long should you wait for your sexually addicted spouse to repent?In this episode of Lunchtime Live, Hope for Spouses’ founder Kim Pullen, shares why our addicted or unfaithful spouse has such a hard time changing, what healthy and unhealthy waiting looks like, factors you can evaluate in your own marriage to determine how long, if at all, you should wait, and what the scriptures say about all of it.________________To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/applyYou can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesNeed a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesFor more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
Since the discovery of your spouse’s sexual betrayal, do you feel like—despite what the Bible says—your mind and your life have become a raging storm, and peace feels as elusive as water in your hand?Maybe you feel blown and tossed by every wind of teaching about betrayal and addiction—books, counselors, support groups—with no rudder to steer you in a biblical direction.In this episode of the Hope for Spouses’ Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen will share how you can take those every-present companions of confusion, anger, fear, or bitterness, use Scripture to banish them, and find biblical solutions to capture and retain the “peace that passes understanding” (Philippians 4:7) regardless of the choices your spouse makes.________________To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/applyYou can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesNeed a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesFor more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
If you’ve read the Bible much, you’ve probably heard of the Martha vs. Mary confrontation in Luke 10. Martha chose fear, chaos, and control. Mary chose love, peace, and surrender.Following a spouse’s sexual betrayal, it is so easy to slip into a Martha mindset where fear reigns, and where we push, push, PUSH our spouse to get his act together. Sucked into the vortex of their sin and blinded by the chaos, we don’t see another way. But there is!In this episode of the Hope for Spouses’ Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen talks about learning how we can choose biblical love, and how we can surrender to God’s plan for a marriage designed to glorify Him with security and a peace that passes understanding.________________To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/applyYou can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesNeed a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesFor more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
Did you know Newton’s Laws apply to our recovering from our spouse's sexual betrayal?Say what? How in the world do the foundational laws of physical mechanics (yes, the ones you learned in middle school) have anything do with recovering from a spouse’s infidelity or sexual addiction?You’d be amazed! That’s because these laws weren’t created by men, they were established by God and therefore, they transcend the physical.In this episode of the Hope for Spouses’ Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen uses laymen’s terms—and the scriptures—to discuss how Newton’s Laws—#1- An object in motion stays in motion#2 - An object changes direction based on the mass and force applied to it#3 - For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction—actually apply to understanding addiction and codependency recovery.Make sure you tune in for this unusual but visually-dramatic representation. You’ll never look at yourself or your spouse the same again!________________To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/applyYou can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesNeed a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforsposesFor more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
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Comments (1)

Cristal Hughes

Just what I needed to hear today. Great message!

Jun 5th
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