How to Diplomat - stories from ordinary people doing extraordinary things

Ben Moore, once a US diplomat and now San Diego’s Global Affairs brain, joins me for a conversation about cat herding, goat rodeos, and why diplomacy still matters even when everyone pretends it doesn’t.This episode is for the diplomats doing the hard, invisible graft.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Ben Moore's Journey04:52 Cultural Influences and Worldview07:32 Early Career in Diplomacy10:11 Engaging with Adversaries in Diplomacy13:00 Experiences in New York and Syria15:35 The Coalition Against ISIS18:15 Bridging Civilian and Military Perspectives21:08 Challenges and Successes in the Coalition23:52 The Importance of Dialogue in Diplomacy26:45 Field Experiences and Forward Deployment28:15 Building Trust on the Ground30:55 Understanding Local Needs34:44 The Role of Diplomacy in Crisis34:56 The Importance of Diplomacy for National Security39:22 Long-Term Solutions to Migration Issues40:32 Transitioning from National to Local Diplomacy45:24 Engaging the Community in Global Issues47:32 Skills from Diplomacy Applied Locally52:54 Advice for Future GenerationsI write more deeply about what I learn from my intervieweesalong with insights from 20+ years as a diplomat and army officer - in my weekly newsletter, Diplomatic Dispatches.You can also find me here:LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-s-uptonInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/howtodiplomat/Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@howtodiplomatThe views expressed in this episode are the personalreflections of the guest. They do not represent the official positions of the UK Foreign Office or any government. This podcast shares human stories and transferable lessonsfrom diplomacy - not day-to-day operational details. 

Jenny Wilcox reveals the hidden reality of diplomatic life—where managing powerful personalities, navigating male-dominated spaces, and leading through crises requires mastering the small details that make big outcomes possible.From her early days in the Foreign Secretary's private office to serving as Deputy High Commissioner during international crises, she shares the unexpected skills that translate from diplomatic corridors to corporate boardrooms.I write more deeply about what I learn from my intervieweesalong with insights from 20+ years as a diplomat and army officer - in my weekly newsletter, Diplomatic Dispatches.You can also find me here:LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-s-uptonInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/howtodiplomat/Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@howtodiplomatThe views expressed in this episode are the personalreflections of the guest. They do not represent the official positions of the UK Foreign Office or any government. This podcast shares human stories and transferable lessonsfrom diplomacy - not day-to-day operational details.

Our guest for this episode is Jennifer Upton - former British diplomat, now executive coach and founder of How to DiplomatIn this warm and deeply human conversation, Rebecca Rees and Caroline Bridge talk with Jen Upton - a former British diplomat who has been posted to some of the world’s toughest countries and now helps leaders and teams communicate, influence, and stay grounded when the pressure’s on.As Jen says, she was “posted to places I wouldn’t get to see on holiday” - and some of those postings came with extraordinary challenges. She shares what it was like to evacuate twice with two small children and her husband, and to survive the Marriott Hotel bombing in Pakistan. These experiences gave her a powerful perspective on leadership, resilience, and how to stay composed when everything around you feels uncertain.Now an executive coach and founder of How to Diplomat, Jen helps others learn the art of diplomacy in everyday life - connecting with empathy, handling pressure with grace, and leading through influence rather than authority.Together, the trio explore:How to manage fear and uncertainty in high-stakes situationsWhy influence starts with curiosityHow courage often looks quiet, calm, and deeply humanThe lessons diplomacy can teach us about work and lifeIf you want to work with Jen contact her by email:  jennifer@howtodiplomat.comIf you want to follow her for more insights:LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-s-uptonDiplomatic Dispatches newsletter:newsletterInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/howtodiplomat/Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@howtodiplomat The views expressed in this episode are the personal reflections of our guest. They do not represent the official positions of the UK Foreign Office or any government.Last week, Tom Bridge launched something new for us - the NVNG Top 3: three guiding principles or suggestions that help our guests when they’re facing new challenges or difficult situations. Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained is hosted by Rebecca Rees and Caroline Bridge.Rebecca is an Executive Coach and Co-Founder of Peak 15 Coaching, passionate about how our brains work and helping people unlock possibility.Caroline won BBC’s Race Across the World 2025 with her son Thomas - a series watched by over six million and shortlisted at the National Television Awards.🎯 Our Mission: To help people pause, see beyond what holds them back, and discover new possibilities for greater happiness and wellbeing.We’re rookie podcasters determined to keep going, keep improving, and share the adventure with you. Trying something new is rarely perfect - but it’s always real.🎧 Creative Team : Angela Young – Podcast Production, Cambridge Podcasts, Zainab Uzair – Graphics, Logo & Cover Art, Gabriella Füzi – Portrait Photography📩 Contact Us : We’d love to hear your questions, ideas, or stories of stepping outside your comfort zone: WhatsApp: https://wa.me/447375220027Instagram @nothingventuredpodcast👉 Please follow, share, and be part of the NVNG adventure — it all starts with daring to try.FollowApple PodcastsSpotifyPodcast IndexRSS Feed

I write more deeply about what I learn from my intervieweesalong with insights from 20+ years as a diplomat and army officer - in my weekly newsletter, Diplomatic Dispatches.You can also find me here:LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-s-uptonInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/howtodiplomat/Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@howtodiplomatThe views expressed in this episode are the personalreflections of the guest. They do not represent the official positions of the UK Foreign Office or any government. This podcast shares human stories and transferable lessonsfrom diplomacy - not day-to-day operational details.

In this conversation, Carlos and Jennifer explore the complexities of life as a spouse in the foreign service, discussing the accountability paradox, the importance of adaptability, and the challenges of maintaining a professional identity while supporting a partner's career. They delve into personal growth, the dynamics of relationships in a foreign context, and the need for policy changes to support spouses. Carlos shares insights on navigating job markets, the emotional aspects of career transitions, and the significance of self-discovery in shaping one's professional journey.Chapters00:00 The Role of a Trailing Spouse04:45 Marsupial Identity and Independence06:53 Navigating Relationships and Autonomy07:46 The Science of Relationships09:32 Proximity vs. Emotional Connection11:02 Adaptability in Foreign Service Life13:18 Skills for Success in Foreign Service14:49 Crafting Your Professional Identity16:33 Reinventing Yourself in New Environments17:57 Finding Your Core Interests19:50 The Journey of Self-Discovery22:03 Breaking Free from Attachments22:51 Navigating Personal Growth and Change24:55 Supporting Diplomatic Families: A Policy Perspective27:58 Advice and Experiences as a Diplomatic Spouse32:08 Reflections on Career and Identity37:08 The Vocation of Diplomacy: A Call to ServiceI write more deeply about what I learn from my intervieweesalong with insights from 20+ years as a diplomat and army officer - in my weekly newsletter, Diplomatic Dispatches.You can also find me here:LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-s-uptonInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/howtodiplomat/Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@howtodiplomatThe views expressed in this episode are the personalreflections of the guest. They do not represent the official positions of the UK Foreign Office or any government. This podcast shares human stories and transferable lessonsfrom diplomacy - not day-to-day operational details.

I write more deeply about what I learn from my intervieweesalong with insights from 20+ years as a diplomat and army officer - in my weekly newsletter, Diplomatic Dispatches.You can also find me here:LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-s-uptonInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/howtodiplomat/Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@howtodiplomatMaria's contact details:LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/maria-brewer-b426b0180/Website: https://paperbell.me/maria-brewerThe views expressed in this episode are the personalreflections of the guest. They do not represent the official positions of the UK Foreign Office or any government. This podcast shares human stories and transferable lessonsfrom diplomacy - not day-to-day operational details.Chapters00:00 The Calling of Diplomacy04:58 Creating Community Abroad07:13 The Journey to Diplomacy09:44 Moments of Impact in Consular Work11:46 Lessons in Listening and Understanding14:32 Balancing Diplomacy and Motherhood16:47 Navigating Crisis as a Parent19:20 The Dynamics of Tandem Careers21:46 Resilience in Diplomatic Families24:16 Leadership Lessons from Experience28:13 The Challenges and Rewards of Diplomacy29:58 The Ambassador's Writing Style31:36 Negotiation Techniques in Diplomacy33:18 The Role of Ambassadors in Democracy36:09 The Importance of Convening in Diplomacy37:34 The Human Touch in Diplomacy38:26 The Autonomy of Smaller Posts40:08 Transitioning from Ambassador to Civilian Life42:35 Embracing Change and New Beginnings46:08 Coaching and Leadership Development48:38 Authenticity in Leadership52:41 Authentic Leadership and Strategic Intelligence54:33 The Transition Paradox in Leadership54:59 Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

I write more deeply about what I learn from my intervieweesalong with insights from 20+ years as a diplomat and army officer - in my weekly ⁠newsletter⁠, Diplomatic Dispatches.You can also find me here:LinkedIn: ⁠www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-s-upton⁠Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/howtodiplomat/⁠Youtube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@howtodiplomat------------------------------------------------------In this episode of the How to Diplomat podcast, I speak to Josue Castro, an experienced diplomat who shares his journey through the complexities of diplomacy, particularly during the Arab Spring in Egypt. We talk about the challenges of navigating moral and ethical dilemmas, the importance of personal growth through adversity, and the skills gained from diplomatic experiences. Josue reflects on his transition from diplomacy to sustainability consulting, emphasizing the significance of leadership and personal development. The conversation concludes with insights on career choices and the unique superpowers diplomats bring to the private sector.--------------------------------------------------------Chapters00:00 Introduction02:25 The Journey into Diplomacy03:05 Finding Purpose in Foreign Affairs04:34 Balancing Idealism and Pragmatism06:50 Navigating Human Rights and Trade Interests07:57 Experiences in Cairo: The Dream Team09:10 The Emotional Toll of Diplomacy10:41 Personal Growth and Leadership Development12:47 Staying Grounded in Intense Situations14:50 Transitioning from Government to Private Sector19:21 Navigating Leadership Journeys19:55 The Importance of Reflection in Career Growth21:55 Lessons from Diplomacy: Skills and Insights25:12 The Value of Boundary Spanning in Professional Life29:10 Systems Thinking: A Diplomat's Perspective31:17 Advice for Future Diplomats and Leaders34:16 Final TakeawaysThe views expressed in this episode are the personalreflections of the guest. They do not represent the official positions of theUK Foreign Office or any government. This podcast shares human stories and transferable lessonsfrom diplomacy - not day-to-day operational details. 

In this episode, I chat with John Constantine - former US Secret Service Agent, leadership pro, and someone I’ve (apparently) known for over a decade without realising it.We cover leadership, ego, cultural diplomacy… and the time one of his colleagues elbowed me in the face in New York.-------------------------------------I write more deeply about what I learn from my interviewees along with insights from 20+ years as a diplomat and army officer — in my weekly newsletter, Diplomatic Dispatches. You can also find me here:LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-s-uptonInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/howtodiplomat/Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@howtodiplomat----------------------------------------------------Chapters00:00 Introduction to John's Background02:56 Joining the Secret Service: A Personal Journey05:57 The Importance of Diplomacy in Security09:36 Cultural Sensitivity in Operations12:13 Navigating Cultural Differences13:12 Decision-Making Under Pressure15:52 Crisis Response and Decision Making20:10 Surreal Experiences in the Field24:33 Lessons from Political Leaders29:04 The Journey to Personal Philosophy32:18 Identity Beyond Profession36:44 The Essence of Leadership38:54 Navigating Identity Beyond Titles

Welcome to How to Diplomat!I’m Jen Upton - former army officer and diplomat with 20 years in the field.This podcast isn’t about the handshakes on red carpets or the headlines you already know.It’s about the unsung heroes of diplomacy - the people who worked behind the scenes in revolutions, disaster zones, and tense negotiations. Ordinary people who found themselves in extraordinary moments.In each episode, you’ll hear their stories. What they saw, what they learned, and the skills they used to connect, calm, and lead under pressure.Because diplomacy isn’t just for diplomats. It’s about how we all navigate conflict, influence people, and build trust in a complex world.Subscribe to How to Diplomat and and discover the tools that can help you connect and lead, wherever you are.