Ladies Who Lunch

This is it! Our last episode of the podcast. We’re celebrating 2 amazing years by answering letters sent in by you, our listeners. We’re talking about toxic friendships, divorced parents, motivation and more, plus sharing what we’ve loved most about making this podcast. Thanks to everyone who has listened, written in, tweeted us and approached us in real life... we’ve had an incredible time with this project, and we hope, by listening, that you’ve learned a little more about yourself and the people around you. PS. Thanks to Away for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! For $20 off a suitcase, go to awaytravel.com/lwl and use promo code lwl at checkout.

This week’s episode is inspired by a letter from a listener who wrote in to discuss how people often compare their own pain to another’s. We know that empathy creates connection, and sympathy can create disconnection. Empathy is a vulnerable choice because you have to connect with something within yourself that might be painful. This conversation began another conversation about miscarriages, and the silence that often surrounds them when they happen. In order to move past the shame, we need to first acknowledge that the shame and silence are there. The only way to banish the stigma surrounding loss is to share our stories. PS. Thanks to FabFitFun for supporting our podcast! To get $10 off your first FabFitFun box, go to fabfitfun.com and use the code LWL.

After being inspired by a recent Katie Couric doc about our brains and technology, we’re diving into our own relationships with tech. Tech use and addiction is something that’s heavily accepted and even expected of us. Social media, video games, apps, and other digital products are carefully engineered to keep you coming back for more. App notifications, autoplay, likes, messages are scientifically proven to compel us to watch, check in, and respond right now — it’s either that or FOMO. With all of these factors working against us, it’s clear why it’s so easy to become addicted (there’s even tech rehab centers popping up in the US). Ingrid shares how she has been working to implement some behavioral changes to combat the signs of her own tech addiction, and we answer a letter from a viewer who is worrying she is wasting her life on her phone.

This week, we're talking about the desire for a quality or situation that you think will make you happy once you get it: a raise, a perfect body, a relationship, etc. We’ve bought into the myth that happiness is something we achieve when everything in our life finally looks the way we’ve been thinking it should. These things alone don’t create lasting happiness, so happiness becomes an elusive thing that we desire but don’t actually know how to achieve. The truth is that happiness is not circumstantial. Actually, we don't have to control anything outside of ourselves. Becoming aware of this means we can choose happiness in this moment. When we feel happy first, our outward experience begins to shift. PS - Thanks to Dagne Dover for supporting our podcast! Go to dagnedover.com/LWL to get 20% off your order with the code LWL.

This week, we’re talking about feelings of admiration and envy. Sometimes, these feelings can come up in response to encountering someone who you consider to be more successful, more beautiful, funnier, smarter or better. Admiration is seen as a noble sentiment, but envy, by contrast, is thought to be inherently bad. When we admire someone, we do so from a distance. When we envy someone, we picture ourselves in their place and feel that in order for us to be desirable, we must possess the same advantages they have. This episode was inspired by a recent epiphany Ingrid had while looking into her own feelings of envy. When does envy arise, and how can we re-frame it so it becomes productive and not destructive? PS - Thanks to Dagne Dover for supporting our podcast! Go to dagnedover.com/LWL to get 20% off your order with the code LWL. + Thanks to FabFitFun for sponsoring this episode! Go to fabfitfun.com/LWL and use the code LWL for $10 off your first box.

This week, Ingrid is joined by her long-time friend and professional makeup artist / beauty editor, Francesca Giaimo, to talk about the beauty-related pressures that women feel as they grow older. From the moment we are born, society sets expectations for women. How we look and act is what moves us up the ladder of what this culture deems as successful. Aging is inevitable, but it's barely acknowledged in our culture. We are frequently told that the world is our oyster and that we can do anything, but women of a certain age are not revered. Why are we not commending older women for their strength and longevity? Why are we not paying tribute to their achievements and accomplishments? We also answer a letter from a listener who has found herself obsessing over the changes to her face and body that come with age. As a woman, it can be easy to feel like you’re disappearing into the black hole of what you “used to be”...unless your life isn’t built around your looks. Unless your self-worth isn’t wrapped up in whether or not someone thinks you’re pretty. Unless you have an obsession for things other than what you see in the mirror.

This week, we're talking about the balance between courage and compassion. If you have too much courage, you can become destructive to yourself and to others, but if you have too much compassion, you can be paralyzed by your desire to please others. Finding balance can be hard, but it's important. We believe that courage opens you open to everything, including compassion. If we are courageous, we are free to be compassionate when and where we are inspired to do so. Sometimes, we see courage as a big huge act that completely shifts your life in a moment - but more often it's little acts of courage that, when practiced over time, shift the course of your life. PS. Thanks StoryWorth for sponsoring our podcast! Get $20 off when you subscribe at StoryWorth.com/LWL.

Learning to live alongside and love another person is tough, but it's only made harder by the many issues you face in a long-term relationship. Compatibility is only the first step. Factors like timing, current circumstances, goals, and uncontrollable occurrences will often get in way of something great and turn it into a challenge. Sometimes these things can be surpassed, and the two of you will come out on the other side better for it, but there is always the chance that one factor could be the breaking point. If your dealbreakers don't match with theirs, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship. This week, we're talking about what happens when your needs aren't the same as your partner's, inspired by a letter from a listener who wants kids, but her partner doesn't. PS. Thanks to Away for supporting Ladies Who Lunch. Go to awaytravel.com/lwl and use the promo code lwl to get $20 off a suitcase!

This week is all about body wisdom. We're joined by Cara Cifelli from Cara's Kitchen, a holistic health coach who has a personal mission of helping others love the skin they are in and develop a balanced relationship with food. Our relationship with food and our bodies can influence every aspect of our life, and unfortunately, 97% of women surveyed have body image issues. It takes time to cultivate an awareness about your body, but ultimately, your body won't lie to you. Listen to your gut! If you can replace strict meal plans and a diet mentality with patience, respect and love for yourself, your life will undoubtedly change. Cara also helps us answer a letter from a listener who doesn't want to stand back while her friends struggle with an eating disorder. How can you approach someone who might have a problem without upsetting them? Our lives are often hectic — many of us feel undernourished mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. We often sacrifice our own best interests in our efforts to meet the demands of our lives. You deserve to be able to tune into yourself and connect with your body, mind, and heart.

This week, we're talking about a human need: a sense of belonging. Belonging to a greater community improves your motivation, health, and happiness. When you are connected to others, you learn that all people struggle and have difficult times, and you feel less alone. If you feel like you don't belong anywhere, you might have inner dialogue that says: who you are isn’t okay. In the end, there are usually some core beliefs, emotions and blocks that dictate this sense of not belonging and loneliness. Most of the time, no external community will make that feeling disappear -- you need to deal with the pain inside directly or it will follow you around. PS: Thanks to TrueReligion for sponsoring LWL. Use the code LWL to get 20% off your order! + Thanks to FabFitFun for supporting us! Get $10 off your first box by using the promo code LWL.

Self-care is having a moment -- it's a great way to strengthen yourself and take care of yourself at the same time. People approach self-care in different ways. For some, it's a bubble bath and Netflix night. For others, it’s disconnecting from the Internet when the news cycle gets sad and overwhelming. A lot of the time, it's taking time to yourself. Some people think that practicing self-care is unacceptable because it sends the message to others that your well-being is your ONLY priority. This episode, we're discussing the difference between selfishness and self-care + answering a letter from a listener who has been cutting people out of their life due to stress and anxiety. We only have a finite amount of resources with which to operate. Taking care of ourselves really isn’t a matter of selfishness -- making sure our own needs are met only makes us more well-equipped to support others. PS. Thanks ModCloth for supporting our podcast! For 15% off your purchase of $100 or more, go to modcloth.com and enter code LWL at checkout. Hurry this offer expires on April 21, 2018! Thanks to Audible for supporting our podcast. Get a free audiobook with a free 30 day trial at audible.com/LWL or text LWL to 500-500.

This week, we're talking about that dreaded question that enters our mind in times of anxiousness: "what if?" Worriers think that worrying helps them to prepare for every possible outcome, but in reality, it interferes with problem solving. Our worries may seem specific: “What if I lose my job?” “What if I never fall in love?” -- but the consequences that we’re really worried about stay vague because we never think past the “what if?” Other times, "what if?" questions can be about feelings of regret. You want more than anything to be able to rewind time and get a do-over. You’ve replayed scenarios over and over in your head, thinking of all the things you could have done or said. We're talking about our own anxieties and regrets and what's worked for us. We also answer letters from listeners who are trapped in their heads, constantly repeating to themselves... what if I go for it? What if things were different? PS. Thanks to True Religion for sponsoring LWL! Use the code LWL for 20% off a pair of jeans! + Thanks to LegacyBox for supporting our podcast. Go to LegacyBox.com/LWL to get 40% off your first order.

Letting go of something is complex. It can be from a relationship, a home, a job, an idea about yourself and who you are. Just because something was right for you in the past, doesn’t mean it still is. You discover more about who you are and what you want out of life, and then you realize there are deliberate changes you need to make to keep up with the changes happening around you and within you. In this episode, Cat shares how she needs to re-home her dog -- that change has been a really hard decision, but ultimately it's one she knows she has to make. We also answer letters from listeners who are having trouble moving forward: one from a breakup and one from a dream job that isn't working anymore. The more we can accept each moment as it is, the less we suffer. Making the decision to let it go also means accepting you have a choice to let it go. PS. Thanks to FabFitFun for sponsoring our pod! Go to fabfitfun.com and use the code LUNCH for $10 off your first box.

This week, we're talking about how we deal with sexism from people we love: how it relates to people who mean well but may be ignorant, how to navigate through conversations with people who are actually sexist and oppressive, and how to deal with a lack of respect for people who are complacent with sexist people. At some point in every woman’s life, she will face sexism somewhere - in a relationship, in a workplace, walking down the street. We are all part of social systems or environments where women face hostility and oppression because they’re women in a man's world. Navigating sexism can be difficult, but there's another level added when it's coming from the people closest to you. The only way we’re going to change anti-woman culture is if we have each other’s backs. PS. Thanks to RXBAR for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Get 25% off your first order at RXbar.com/lwl with the promo code LWL. Thanks to FabFitFun for sponsoring our pod! Go to fabfitfun.com and use the code LUNCH for $10 off your first box.

This week, we're talking about change. Whether a relationship starts or ends, you're moving, you have got a new job, or you've lost someone you love, change (whether it's good or bad) causes stress. You never know exactly what you're going to get, which often frightens us. When we experience the world or ourselves in a certain way for an extended period of time, we develop core beliefs that make up what we think life is supposed to be. We tend to see change as a loss rather than just as part of an inevitable conclusion. Ingrid shares what it was like when her life changed after her father's unexpected passing and the grief that came with it. We also answer a letter from a listener who has recently come out as a trans boy and is now having a hard time accepting what his gender identity means in terms of accepting his sexuality. Feeling shocked by change can be the most significant feeling in a new experience, but being aware that you’re probably going to feel overwhelmed, anxious and exhausted can help you to prepare for it. PS - Thanks to LegacyBox for supporting LWL. Go to LegacyBox.com/LWL to get 40% off your first order. Thanks to FabFitFun for sponsoring our pod! Go to fabfitfun.com and use the code LUNCH for $10 off your first box.

This week, we're talking about competition. For some people, competition forces you to give your best. Having that challenge right on your heels pushes you to run faster, work harder and think deeper. You can also learn from the successes and failures of other people. Our insecurities become stronger whenever we experience disappointments and challenges in our personal and professional lives. It's important to acknowledge this pain and address it. We're diving into our own competitive natures and talking about how competition and comparison affect us on a daily basis. What can you learn from competition? Is “ignoring the competition” ever really doable? How can you handle competition at work or school? Competition will always be there, but it's important to free yourself of negative energy so you can be your best self.

This week, we're spreading the love. As people who create content for a living, we want to share some love and appreciation for the TV shows, podcasts, movies and content creators we are into right now. Sometimes it's good for the soul to take a break from the world around you and indulge in some feel-good, interesting, or inspiring stories. Note: We discuss minor plot points in this episode, so here's a small spoiler alert!

This week, we're talking about celebrities and the desire to know all about them. Why do we, as a culture, value fame over almost everything else? The celebrity serves as both an object of worship and of disgust, and all of this falls into the arc of fame. Thanks to social media platforms, it’s easier than ever for people to gain fame. A large amount of followers can launch someone into stardom with little effort, sometimes even by accident! Just as quickly, celebrities can disappear from the limelight for a multitude of reasons. Fame has become a quickly changing facet of our culture because we have so many ways to connect with the world. We also answer a letter from a listener who is worried her fangirling might cross the line into obsession.

So many of the letters we get in our inbox are about love, so we decided to dedicate an entire episode to them! We're talking about what it's like to crave "the chase", how to appear more approachable when you're independent, long distance relationships and much more. A listener opens up to us about her bisexuality and how her upbringing may have stifled her freedom to explore it -- now, her marriage to her husband is stable but sexless. We also answer a letter from a listener who isn't sure what kind of relationship she should have with an ex whom she treated badly. As we get closer to Valentine's Day, the ins and outs of love are in the air - use this time to reflect on your feelings and remember to be patient with yourself and those you love. P.S. Thanks to RXBAR for supporting Ladies Who Lunch. Get 25% off your first order at RXbar.com/LWL with the promo code LWL.

This week is all about judgment. We are all inundated with explicit judgments, like the number of likes, faves, retweets, positive and negative comments on our social media. People who interpret their worth from things like the approval and attention of others are especially vulnerable to depression, especially in this environment saturated with judgment. We're talking about how we deal with judgment and criticism in our daily lives. Ingrid and Cat share some things they've done to dive into compassion and stop judging others. We can't always control the adversity we experience in our lives, but we can control how we respond to it. P.S. Thank you to LOLA for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! For 60% off your first order, visit mylola.com and enter LWL when you subscribe.