MissUnderstood: The ADHD in Women Channel

Sometimes, our brains spiral and it seems like there’s nothing we can do about it. This can happen to anyone. Maybe you have an awkward social interaction and can’t stop thinking about it — then your mind jumps to worse and worse scenarios, far from what actually happened. And for those of us with ADHD, it can be extra difficult to exit that spiral. A situation like this happened to Rae Jacobson recently. Thankfully, she had an interview on the books with Dr. Jodi Gold, a psychiatrist who also has ADHD. Jodi specializes in psychotherapy of anxiety and mood disorders — perfect. On this episode of Hyperfocus, Rae and Jodi have an impromptu therapy session featuring a discussion of automatic thoughts, mood dysregulation, and rejection sensitivity. And, yes, “ADHD rabbit holes.”Related resourcesThe influence of ADHD on social skillsAnxiety, imposter syndrome, and ADHD (Mallory’s story)What is perseveration?Timestamps(2:23) Rae’s situation(6:56) What do we really mean by “rabbit hole?”(13:00) On automatic thoughts(17:53) Masking and people-pleasingWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at hyperfocus@understood.org.For a transcript and more resources, visit the Hyperfocus page on Understood. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

ADHD traits such as forgetfulness and impulsivity are often viewed as ‘bad behavior’ while growing up. Kids with ADHD might get punished for these things that are actually due to their brains working differently. So what happens when these kids grow up into adults with ADHD? Some might continue to punish themselves.This week on Tips from an ADHD Coach, Jaye breaks down why the threat of punishment is not the most effective motivator for people with ADHD, and gives some tips that can help end the cycle. Related resourcesMasking ADHD symptoms to go above and beyond (René Brooks’ story)Behavior: What is it and how can parents affect it?  7 discipline tips when your child has ADHDTimestamps(00:41) René’s quote(02:18) ADHD is not defiance(05:01) Ways we punish ourselves(06:28) How can we motivate ourselves without punishment?(11:05) RecapFor a transcript and more resources, visit the MissUnderstood page on Understood.Have a challenge you’d like Jaye to talk about in an episode? Email or send a voice memo to us at adhdcoachtips@understood.org Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Monogamous romantic relationships have been seen as the norm for a long time. They’re the kind most commonly represented in the media, often as the only “right” kind of relationship. However, open relationships, polyamory, and other consensual non-monogamous relationships are more common than you might think. People with ADHD often find ways of living life outside of the typical standard. This could include being non-monogamous!Martha Kauppi is a marriage and family therapist and sex therapist. She is the author of the book Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (And Their Clients). Listen to this conversation on jealousy, reaching agreements with your partner, and what consensual non-monogamy really is.Related resourcesPolyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (And Their Clients) by Martha Kauppi8 Steps To Opening Up: Starting The Conversation About Non-Monogamy, a Free eBook by Martha KauppiMartha Kauppi’s website, www.instituteforrelationalintimacy.comTimestamps(00:55) Why learn about consensual non-monogamy?(04:04) What is consensual non-monogamy?(05:36) What is the biggest misconception about non-monogamy?(08:40) Building a relationship that works for you, not just what you see in the media(11:46) Viewing non-monogamy as an option in life(15:42) Moving toward consensual non-monogamy in a relational way(21:03) How would you start a conversation about opening your currently monogamous relationship?(24:20) Tips for working through jealousy (25:35) What is compersion?(30:13) It’s OK if non-monogamy isn’t for you! (32:10) Where can you find Martha? For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Imagine sitting down for a meal, but somehow, you can’t quite focus on the food in front of you. You’re either distracted by the things around you, or the never-ending to-do list in your head. For many women with ADHD, eating often feels like an afterthought.In this episode, Dr. Monica Johnson explains how ADHD impacts eating habits. From planning meals in advance to impulsive eating and forgetting to eat altogether. Listen as she shares the unique challenges women face in maintaining healthy eating patterns. And learn ways to have a more balanced relationship with food.Related resourcesADHD and womenADHD and dietADHD and eating disordersTimestamps(01:19) Types of eating issues(04:51) ADHD, forgetfulness, and eating(05:50) How to practice healthy eating patternsTo get a transcript and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood channel at Understood.We love to hear from our listeners. Email us at podcast@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

How to ADHD creator Jessica McCabe has been the source of many ADHD “aha” moments — so what were her ADHD “aha” moments? Jessica was diagnosed when she was 12 years old but didn’t start to look into what ADHD meant for her until she was 32. Taking ADHD medication felt like putting on glasses — experiencing the world as everyone else did. But she didn’t have the skills and strategies to cope with ADHD.So, she started making YouTube videos...and the rest is history. Listen in as Jessica answers Laura’s many questions, including: What’s it like for her to be a new mom with ADHD? Does she ever get a vulnerability hangover? And why doesn’t she think she’s cool? Related resourcesJessica’s YouTube channel, How to ADHDAll about ADHD medicationUnderstanding trouble with social skillsTimestamps(03:08) How Jessica feels about being involved in so many people’s “aha” moment(04:55) Jessica’s diagnosis story at age 12 (06:16) Jessica’s ADHD medication “aha” moment(07:33) The creation of Jessica’s YouTube channel How to ADHD(11:29) Jessica on social anxiety(14:07) Busting ADHD medication stigma(16:52) ADHD and new motherhood(22:49) Going back to work after maternity leave(26:01) Laura’s rapid-fire questions(31:49) Jessica’s parting wordsTo get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the ADHD Aha! podcast page at Understood.Want to share your ADHD “aha” moment? We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at ADHDAha@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

People with ADHD can be out-of-the-box thinkers and great problem solvers. A lot of people may actually go to them for help solving difficult problems. But, what happens when they have to solve their own challenges? This week on Tips from an ADHD Coach, Jaye unpacks why it can be harder for people with ADHD to help themselves with their own challenges. Listen for some tips that can help. Related resourcesAdvice from a career coach with ADHD and dyslexiaADHD and creativityTimestamps(00:47) Alex’s quote(02:30) ADHDer problem solving — for others vs. ourselves(05:42) ADHDers problem solving for other ADHDers and demand avoidance(09:04) How can we problem-solve for ourselves?(12:39) Recap and creditsFor a transcript and more resources, visit the MissUnderstood page on Understood.orgHave a challenge you’d like Jaye to talk about in an episode? Email or send a voice memo to us at adhdcoachtips@understood.orgUnderstood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Have you ever spent hours getting ready for a social event, only to feel that same knot of anxiety when it’s time to go? Or maybe you avoid social events altogether, worried you’ll say the wrong thing.  For some women, juggling ADHD and social anxiety can feel like an ongoing fight. In this episode, Dr. Monica Johnson dives into the connection between ADHD and social anxiety. Watch as she breaks down ways ADHD can make social situations overwhelming. And get tips on how to better manage social interactions.Related resourcesADHD and womenADHD and anxietyTimestamps(01:11) What is social anxiety disorder?(04:28) What does research say about ADHD and social anxiety?(07:22) Strategies for managing social anxietyTo get a transcript and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood channel at Understood.We love to hear from our listeners. Email us at podcast@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

If you have ADHD, the science says you’re much more likely to have a substance use disorder in your life than someone who’s neurotypical. ADHD brains often lack dopamine. Drugs and alcohol can provide a hit of dopamine, albeit a temporary one. That’s why it’s so common for people with untreated ADHD to self-medicate. Elaine O’Brien used to fit that ADHD archetype to a tee. Eventually, though, she entered recovery and also started practicing Ashtanga yoga, a style that she describes as “very rigorous and very codified.”She fell for the physicality of the practice and the routine it demands. “It got me in my body and I started to feel good,” she says. “I really started to feel good.”For years, Elaine had struggled with substance issues and untreated ADHD. She’s been in recovery for almost two decades but recently began to wonder if the ADHD diagnosis she’d rejected in high school might actually be right.How did her journey take this path? Listen to this week’s Hyperfocus episode to find out. Related resourcesElaine’s studio: Second Story Pilates and YogaStudy: Medication reduces risk of drug abuse for people with ADHDADHD and addiction: Knowledge is powerDoes exercise help ADHD?Timestamps(3:04) Elaine’s diagnosis story(7:09) ADHD and substance use(13:52) Exercise and sobriety(19:28) “Isn’t your job to help people calm down?”To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Hyperfocus podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at hyperfocus@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

People with ADHD can benefit from having routines and systems that help them cope. But, what happens when life comes into play and throws that routine off?This week on Tips from an ADHD Coach, Jaye talks about what can happen when we get thrown off our game by special life circumstances like getting sick or moving. Listen for some tips that can help get you back on track.Related resourcesADHD and hormones (Cate Osborn’s story)Timestamps(00:51) Cate’s quote(02:39) ADHD and hormones(03:58) “Exception moments,” or temporary states when our life is a bit different than usual(06:15) How can we help ourselves during these periods?(11:29) RecapFor a transcript and more resources, visit the MissUnderstood page on Understood.orgHave a challenge you’d like Jaye to talk about in an episode? Email or send a voice memo to us at adhdcoachtips@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Have you ever been called a “manic pixie dream girl” by someone you were dating? Is it hard to remember your partner when they’re not with you? ADHD can bring its own set of challenges to dating, and romantic relationships.Producer Margie visits the podcast to share what she’s found on the ADHD Women subreddit, where women with ADHD ask questions and share their challenges and wins. Listen for Cate’s reactions and a chat about common romantic dilemmas for women with ADHD!Related resourcesThe ADHD Women subredditADHD Support for Women by Understood.org’s Facebook groupTimestamps(00:00) Women with ADHD communities, and common dating tropes(03:46) Post #1 “I was too much for him”(06:37) Post #2 “I did 12 loads of laundry to avoid writing a dating profile”(11:56) Post #3 “Anyone else chronically feel like they’re not in a place where they’re ready to date?”(16:27) Post #4 “Having ADHD as a woman and still having to carry the mental load”(22:20) Post #5 “The ADHD struggle of falling in love after every good date”(27:04) Post #6 “Does anyone else struggle with accidentally ignoring their partner or friends?”(34:28) Talking about what gives us shame helps everyoneFor a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Many women with ADHD face the constant struggle of ADHD combined with depression. It’s a battle that affects every part of their lives. And the weight of these challenges often leaves them feeling drained and discouraged.In this episode, Dr. Monica Johnson breaks down the connection between ADHD and depression. Listen as she explains how ADHD symptoms might be misinterpreted as depression. And learn ways to manage struggles with depression.Related resourcesADHD and depressionDid my ADHD make me more likely to have postpartum depression?Signs and symptoms of ADHD in adultsTimestamps(01:33) Common symptoms of ADHD and depression(06:36) How ADHD and depression affect each other(09:03) Ways to manage ADHD and depression   To get a transcript and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood channel at Understood.We love to hear from our listeners. Email us at podcast@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Editor's note: This episode includes discussion of suicide and self-harm. Please take care when listening and skip this one if you need to.Dr. Stephen Hinshaw is one of the leading voices when it comes to ADHD in women and girls. That’s in large part due to his work on The Berkeley Girls Study. (Its full name is The Berkeley Girls with ADHD Longitudinal Study, but most people know it by that shorthand or acronym: The BGALs Study.)Under Steve’s leadership, researchers began studying 140 girls with ADHD and a control group of nearly 90 girls without it. They’ve been following these girls into their adulthood, producing a reams of information that has helped shape current understanding of ADHD in women and girls. That said, Rae Jacobson had plenty of questions for Steve: Why did you want to study ADHD in girls at a time when it was typically seen as a boys’ disorder? Why is it that one type of ADHD seems to lead to such negative outcomes? What do we do about the stigma that still surrounds the disorder? Related resourcesSteve’s booksThe 3 types of ADHDHow ADHD can affect your mental healthTimestamps(2:20) The beginnings of The Berkeley Girls study(4:26) Combined-type ADHD and negative outcomes(9:18) Self-esteem, ADHD, and girlhood(16:20) ADHD as a “trend”(20:40) What to do about ADHD stigma   To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Hyperfocus podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at hyperfocus@understood.org.  Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Do you wait until the last minute to write a paper, or complete something until it absolutely has to be done? Do you find it almost impossible to start any sooner? Does it make you feel guilty?This week on Tips from an ADHD Coach, Jaye talks about how the pressure and shame that comes with waiting until the last minute can push us across the finish line… until it doesn’t. Listen for some tips that can help.Related resourcesADHD and the myth of laziness (Rebecca’s story)ADHD and perfectionismADHD and anxietyTimestamps(00:43) Rebecca’s quote(02:22) Using pressure and shame to motivate ourselves(08:30) What can we do instead?(11:22) RecapFor a transcript and more resources, visit the MissUnderstood page on Understood.orgHave a challenge you’d like Jaye to talk about in an episode? Email or send a voice memo to us at adhdcoachtips@understood.org Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

ADHD can impact pregnancy in a number of ways: Higher rate of postpartum depression, hormone surges that affect the brain’s functioning, increased demands on our executive function, and so much more. Our guest this week, Dusty Chipura, is an ADHD and pregnancy expert, ADHD coach, and doula in training. Dusty takes us through pregnancy with ADHD, what you might expect, and what conversations are important to have with your support network ahead of welcoming a baby. Related resourcesA guide to hormones and ADHDADHD and pregnancy workbook by Alix Bacon and Dusty ChipuraDusty’s website, vancouveradhdcoaching.comTimestamps(01:27) Some ways ADHD affects pregnancy(02:25) How did Dusty become an expert in ADHD and pregnancy?(04:21) First trimester/early pregnancy and ADHD(05:57) Sensory sensitivities and pregnancy(08:44) Second trimester(13:23) What conversations should we be having with our support system during this time?(17:20) Third trimester(20:04) What happens after the baby is born?(22:33) ADHD and the postpartum period(25:55) Best practices and tools(28:41) Dusty’s top tips(30:35) Dealing with parental guilt(31:59) Where you can find DustyFor a transcript and more resources visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Many women feel pressure to create the “perfect” holiday season. From decorating and hosting to gift-giving, all while staying cheerful and calm. But for some women with ADHD, these expectations can make the holidays feel more stressful than joyful.In this episode, Dr. Monica Johnson shares how common ADHD symptoms like trouble focusing and managing time can make the holidays feel overwhelming. Hear why some women have a hard time managing tasks and their emotions during what should be a season filled with joy. And learn practical ways to tackle holiday stress. Related resources11 ADHD holiday tipsUnderstood.org’s 2024 Neurodiversity and the Holidays SurveyTimestamps(00:33) How holiday pressures affect women with ADHD(01:09) What holiday stress can look like in women(02:10) Ways having ADHD can impact holiday stress(03:04) How sensory overload plays a role(04:48) Effective strategies for reducing holiday stressTo get a transcript and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood channel at Understood.We love to hear from our listeners. Email us at podcast@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

At work, neurodivergent people face a bunch of different hurdles — stigma, burnout, firings, higher unemployment rates, and more. In recent years, all kinds of businesses have begun various types of neurodiversity initiatives. On the surface, these initiatives are supposed to foster inclusion and make working better for everyone.But host Rae Jacobson wondered: Do these initiatives actually do anything, or are they just good marketing? She put the question to Rachel Lowenstein, a brand consultant and content creator whose job involves working with business leaders to make workplaces more inclusive.Rachel explains how these efforts can create positive change and aren’t just neurowashing (think greenwashing, but for neurodiversity inclusion). And she also shares why these efforts are personal for her as a woman with autism. Related resources5 ways you can help your workplace be more inclusiveSurvey reveals workplace stigma for neurodivergent employeesWhat is neurodiversity?Timestamps(4:11) How to make people relate to neurodiversity(11:18) The curb-cut effect: What helps me can help everyone(14:50) What does a neuroinclusive retail job look like?(20:39) Why a larger community is a stronger one To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Hyperfocus podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at hyperfocus@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Have you ever had a painful experience or received feedback that made you vow to change yourself? Did you swing a bit too far in the other direction? This week on Tips from an ADHD Coach, Jaye talks about how overcorrecting ourselves can lead to not feeling great about the new outcome. Listen for some insight and tips to stay true to yourself.Related resourcesADHD, social awkwardness, and ghosting (Allison’s story)How to build confidence when you know you’re differentADHD and feelings of remorseTimestamps(00:47) Allison’s quote(02:22) Receiving negative feedback that changes our perception of ourselves(03:34) Emotional dysregulation and processing our emotions(04:23) Overcorrecting(07:34) What can we do in this position?(10:39) RecapFor a transcript and more resources, visit the MissUnderstood page on Understood.orgHave a challenge you’d like Jaye to talk about in an episode? Email or send a voice memo to us at adhdcoachtips@understood.org Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Sometimes, romantic relationships just don’t work out. And breaking up with someone can be really tough — including having the breakup conversation. With ADHD, overthinking, people-pleasing, and rejection sensitivity can make it even harder. This week, ADHD coach and author of I Don’t Hate My Ex-Husband Jess DuBose visits Sorry, I Missed This. Listen to learn how to check in with yourself about your relationship, and some tips to help you through a breakup conversation. Related resourcesADHD and rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD)Jess’ website, jessdubose.comI Don’t Hate My Ex-Husband by Jess DuBoseNational Domestic Violence HotlineRainn.orgTimestamps(02:08) Why did Jess write her book?(04:13) How does ADHD impact breaking up?(05:19) Staying in a relationship because of people-pleasing(07:42) Jess’ growth process: ASPIRE(10:22) Guided meditation exercise about whether or not to break up with someone(14:08) What can help you through a breakup(19:32) Initiating the conversation to end a relationship(24:10) How to avoid the impulse to backpedal during the breakup conversation(27:37) Jess’ parting advice(29:14) Where you can find JessTo get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood.org.We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

It’s a scenario some women with ADHD know all too well. Glancing over at the clock after being so immersed in a project or task and realizing that hours have flown by. This common occurrence is often referred to as trouble with time perception, or time blindness.In this episode, listen as Dr. Monica Johnson explains the link between ADHD and time perception. Discover why some women with ADHD have trouble keeping track of time. And learn practical strategies to help manage time more effectively.To get a transcript and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood Channel at Understood.We love to hear from our listeners. Email us at podcast@understood.org.Related resourcesADHD and “time blindness”ADHD and: Time managementTimestamps(00:39) What is time perception?(02:35) Why can time perception be a struggle for women with ADHD?(06:07) Ways to manage trouble with time perception  Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

ADHD can create all kinds of challenges in the workplace. Like a list of infinite things to do and to remember. A busy, ever-changing schedule. And co-workers who don’t always know what’s going on in your mind. There’s a lot to figure out. But recently, Rae Jacobson found herself wondering what it’s like on the other side — to manage someone who’s neurodivergent and still figuring it out. So, Rae called her former boss, Caroline Miller, the editorial director of the Child Mind Institute. On this episode of Hyperfocus, Rae and Caroline go over this question and Caroline shares some advice on ADHD at work — for employees and managers alike. To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Hyperfocus podcast page at Understood.orgWe love hearing from our listeners. Email us at hyperfocus@understood.org.Related resources“Masking my ADHD at work was exhausting, so I stopped”Workplace supports: A guide for employees 3 big myths (and truths) about workplace accommodationsHow to ask for a workplace accommodation  Timestamps(03:49) Caroline’s first thoughts on working with Rae(09:16) Neurodiversity initiatives: Trends vs. real support(17:04) “Hope is not a plan”(22:05) Caroline’s keys for hiring  Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give