Play Therapy Parenting Podcast

In this episode, I address a common parenting challenge: children's resistance to hygiene practices. I respond to a question from Rosemary in Florida, who's struggling with her 10-year-old daughter's refusal to use soap while showering and to wipe and flush after using the bathroom. I explain that this behavior is fundamentally a power and control issue. Children have control over very few things in their lives, and hygiene routines are one area where they can exert independence. To address this, I introduce the concept of choice giving as a powerful parenting tool. I walk through how to set clear expectations and use ultimate choice giving to return some power to the child while maintaining parental authority. I emphasize the importance of identifying a child's "currency" - what motivates them - and incorporating it into the choices presented. Whether it's privacy in the bathroom or access to favorite activities, these choices give children ownership of their decisions and natural consequences. I also stress the need for consistency and starting fresh each day, allowing children to learn from their choices without carrying over punishments. Ask Me Questions:  Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.

In this episode, I discuss the importance of implementing small play sessions with your children to practice the parenting skills we've been discussing. I explain why play is crucial for children's development and emotional processing, and how it provides a unique window into their world. I share practical advice on how to schedule 30-minute play sessions with each of your children every week. During these sessions, I encourage you to let your child lead the play while you focus on practicing specific skills like reflecting feelings, encouraging, and giving choices. I emphasize that this dedicated playtime helps build strong connections with your kids, increases understanding, and often leads to improved self-regulating behavior. Ask Me Questions:  Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.

In this episode, I discuss the importance of being present and engaged with our children. I share a heartwarming experience I had on a recent flight, where I observed a father fully engaged with his young son for the entire 2.5-hour journey. This interaction exemplified the essence of play therapy parenting - being attuned, present, and engaged. I offer practical tips for improving presence, including maintaining eye contact, using reflective responses, and trying to experience the world through our children's eyes. Throughout the episode, I stress that building a strong relationship with our children is paramount. While it's impossible to be fully engaged at all times, I encourage listeners to aim for at least 15 minutes of undivided attention daily. This intentional focus can significantly impact the parent-child bond and create lasting positive effects. Ask Me Questions:  Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.

In this episode, I address a question from Emma in Ireland about her 4-year-old son's toileting issues. Despite being toilet trained for over a year, he frequently has accidents, especially during changes in routine or when other people are caring for him. I explain that this behavior is likely rooted in power and control issues, as children have control over very few aspects of their lives. I discuss the concept of "somatic" responses, where emotional issues manifest physically, and how positive emotions can help overcome these challenges. I provide practical advice on using a child's "currency" - something they value - as motivation for proper toileting behavior. I also emphasize the importance of using choices and limit setting, even with young children, to address these issues effectively. Throughout the episode, I offer specific strategies for parents to implement, such as setting neutral expectations and offering choices. I stress the importance of remaining calm and neutral in response to both successes and accidents to avoid triggering power struggles. Finally, I share a personal anecdote about my own experience with my son's accident in a restaurant, reminding listeners that these issues are common and temporary. Ask Me Questions:  Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.

In this episode, I discuss the topic of power struggles between parents and children. I explain why these struggles occur, provide a framework for handling them, and offer practical advice rooted in child-centered play therapy principles. I emphasize the importance of understanding the "why" behind power struggles. Children often seek control because they have little of it in their daily lives. By recognizing this, parents can approach these situations with more empathy and effectiveness. I introduce a framework using three of the four pillars we've discussed in previous episodes: reflecting feelings, giving choices, and setting limits when necessary. I stress the significance of staying neutral during power struggles and explain how this approach can help diffuse tense situations. By being a "thermostat" rather than a "thermometer," parents can model emotional regulation and bring calm to challenging interactions. Throughout the episode, I provide examples of how to apply these principles in real-life scenarios, empowering parents to handle power struggles with confidence and composure. Ask Me Questions:  Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.

In this episode, I address a question from Noel about managing morning routines and getting kids ready for school on time. As many parents can relate, the struggle to get children dressed, fed, and out the door for the bus is a common challenge. I share insights from a child-centered play therapy approach to make mornings easier and less stressful for everyone involved. I emphasize the importance of providing choices to children, especially the night before, to create buy-in and ownership. This approach helps reduce power struggles and nagging in the morning. I also share a personal story from my childhood to illustrate the power of natural consequences. The key takeaway is the concept of "ultimate choice-giving," where children are given clear options and allowed to experience the results of their decisions. This method encourages self-regulation and intrinsic motivation. Throughout the episode, I provide practical examples of implementing these strategies, including specific language to use with children. I stress the importance of remaining calm and neutral while acknowledging children's choices and feelings. By consistently applying these techniques, parents can create more peaceful mornings and help their children develop self-regulation. Ask Me Questions:  Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.

In this episode, I discuss a practice from the child-centered play therapy model: sitting in the pocket of your child's feelings. As parents, we often struggle to relate to our children's intense emotions because we have the luxury of rational thinking. However, children live in their emotions to a degree that's hard for us to comprehend. I explain why it's important to reflect your child's feelings without dismissing or trying to fix them. By simply acknowledging their emotions and sitting with them in that feeling, we help our children feel heard and understood. This approach, while challenging for parents, actually benefits children in multiple ways. It gives them space to process their emotions, develop problem-solving skills, and learn to self-regulate. I challenge parents to try this technique the next time their child expresses strong emotions. Instead of rushing to solve the problem or minimize their feelings, reflect the emotion and then sit quietly with them. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but it's a powerful way to support your child's emotional growth and resilience. Ask Me Questions:  Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Common References: Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.

In this episode, I answer a question from Gaer in the UK about her two adopted sons, ages 3 and 9, who are both starting play therapy to help with anxiety and emotional dysregulation. Gaer's youngest in particular has been acting out physically when upset.  I explain that it's common for siblings, especially of the same sex, to take on "internalizer" and "externalizer" roles when it comes to expressing emotions. The older son is likely internalizing his feelings while the younger is externalizing through aggressive behaviors. Neither is healthy, as both boys lack the emotional vocabulary and coping skills to handle their big feelings. To address this, I recommend Gaer start using my "four pillars" of play therapy parenting, beginning with reflecting the boys' feelings to build their emotional intelligence. Setting limits is also key for the 3-year-old's aggressive behaviors. Consequences should be consistently enforced. Throughout this process, Gaer needs to be a "thermostat" - staying calm and regulated herself in order to model emotional control for her sons. I'm so glad Gaer's family is embarking on a play therapy journey. With commitment and the right tools, I believe they will see hugely positive impacts. I'm grateful to Gaer for her question and willingness to share her story. Ask Me Questions:  Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.

In this episode, I talk about how the relationship with your child is the most important thing, even more important than the specific parenting skills and techniques we've been discussing. While learning and applying skills like reflecting feelings, setting limits, giving choices, and using encouragement are certainly valuable, we can't lose sight of why we use those approaches in the first place.  It all comes back to preserving and strengthening our relationship with our kids. Every time a child is struggling or misbehaving, there is almost always a fracture or damage to the relationship that has occurred. By focusing on the child and the relationship rather than just on the frustrating behavior, we keep that relationship at the center. The beauty of parenting is we have a built-in relationship with our child from the very beginning. Our job is to maintain and nurture that precious bond, and child-centered parenting principles give us effective tools to do just that. The goal is not to robotically check skills off a list, but to deeply, intentionally and thoughtfully engage with our children in ways that communicate "I'm here, I hear you, I understand, I care, and I delight in you." This is what it means to take a kind approach to parenting. I hope this discussion encourages you and keeps you grounded in what matters most - your relationship with your kids. Ask Me Questions:  Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.

In today's episode, I discuss the importance of encouragement and how it differs from praise when it comes to parenting. Encouragement is all about focusing on your child's efforts and contributions, rather than giving value-laden words that have opposites, like "good" or "awesome." When you encourage your child by starting with "you" and acknowledging their perseverance, problem-solving skills, or willingness to take on challenges, you help them develop a healthy self-concept and sense of identity. This empowers them and reduces power struggles, as they feel a measure of control over their circumstances. I encourage you to challenge yourself this week to use encouragement every time your child does something, as they will provide you with plenty of opportunities to do so throughout the day. Ask Me Questions:  Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.

In this episode, I address a listener's question about gentle parenting and whether it has gone too far. I discuss the principles of gentle parenting and contrast them with the child-centered approach, highlighting the importance of setting appropriate limits and boundaries while maintaining a kind, respectful, and relational dynamic with your child. I explain that while gentle parenting aims to build a healthy bond and meet a child's needs, it often lacks a comprehensive framework for effective discipline. The child-centered approach, on the other hand, is highlighted by a well-researched framework of interacting with children, and empowers them to make choices within clearly defined limits, fostering self-control and responsibility. I emphasize that the child-centered method is indeed gentle, as it prioritizes preserving the parent-child relationship through understanding, kindness, and respect. By using the four pillars of play therapy, parents can remain in control of their emotions, honor their child's uniqueness, and respond appropriately to their child's emotional state, all while establishing boundaries and expectations. Ultimately, I encourage parents to embrace the child-centered approach as a more effective and complete system for achieving the desired outcomes of gentle parenting. Ask Me Questions:  Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.

In today's episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, we're diving into the practical application of the "limit setting" pillar in daily parenting. Now that we’ve covered the four foundational pillars, it’s time to see how we can apply these skills in everyday interactions with our kids. Limit setting is unique in that it combines the other pillars—reflecting feelings and giving choices—making it a nuanced yet powerful tool for effective discipline. I explore how limit setting can be used proactively to address daily struggles, such as managing snack times, bedtime routines, or sibling conflicts. It's about offering healthy alternatives to empower our children while setting boundaries that maintain their well-being. Finally, I emphasize the importance of consistent follow-through with limits. Children learn to take responsibility for their actions when we clearly communicate choices and their consequences. It's about empowering our kids to make their own decisions and take ownership of their behavior. I'd love to hear your thoughts or any questions you might have. Feel free to email me at brenna@thekidcounselor.com or leave a message at (813) 812-5525. Also, don't forget to visit playtherapyparenting.com to sign up for my newsletter and receive a free workshop. I'm grateful for your commitment to your kids, and I'm here to help you along the journey. Let's keep practicing limit setting together! Ask Me Questions:  Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.  VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.  Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

In this episode, I discuss how to practically apply the "choice-giving" pillar from the child-centered play therapy parenting framework. I cover two types of choices to give your kids: Empowerment Choices Give your kids choices just for the sake of letting them feel empowered and in control Examples: Let them choose how to get to the car (hold your hand or push the cart), what to eat/drink, what to wear, where to sit in the car, what music to listen to, etc. This gives your kids a measure of control within your set boundaries Enforcement Choices Give choices tied to reinforcing a limit you've set Map the choices to your child's original desire/want Example: If they want to play before dinner, the choices could be to play with friends after dinner or watch TV after dinner I emphasize using the word "choose" multiple times when offering choices to make it clear the child has the power to decide. Giving choices reduces power struggles, builds self-confidence, and helps kids practice decision-making skills. Ask Me Questions:  Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.  VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.  Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

In this episode, we explore the practical aspects of Reflecting Feelings, focusing on how this essential skill can be effectively used in daily interactions with children. Our goal is to demystify the process and encourage more confident and consistent application in your parenting. Key Points Covered: Understanding Reflecting Feelings: An overview of why this skill is fundamental yet challenging, emphasizing its importance in validating children’s emotions. Practical Application: Step-by-step guidance on how to reflect feelings accurately, from recognizing nonverbal cues to matching your verbal responses with your child's emotional states. Real-Life Scenarios: Examples of how to apply the Reflecting Feelings skill throughout the day, from positive expressions like joy and pride to handling negative emotions like disappointment and frustration. We delve into how consistent practice of this skill helps build a stronger, more empathetic connection with your child, enabling them to feel heard and understood. This connection is crucial for their emotional development and can significantly enhance your effectiveness as a parent. Call to Action: This week, I challenge you to consciously practice reflecting feelings with your children. Notice the multitude of opportunities you have to engage this skill, and observe the positive impact it has on your interactions. For more insights and to continue this conversation, don’t hesitate to reach out via email at brenna@thekidcounselor.com or leave a message at (813) 812-5525. Your feedback and questions are invaluable, and they help us shape future content that meets your needs. Remember, the journey to calm, confident, and in-control parenting continues with each skill we master. Let's keep learning and growing together. Thank you for joining me today, and I look forward to our next session! Ask Me Questions:  Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.  VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.  Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

In this episode, I address a question submitted by a therapist on behalf of a concerned parent. The parent has a 6-year-old girl who is grappling with body image issues. As this little girl expresses concerns about her tummy being "fat" and worries that other kids are judging her, her mother fears she may be using food to soothe her big emotions.   These behaviors are merely cues, signaling deeper underlying issues that need to be addressed. More often than not, a child's fixation on food, sleep, or obedience stems from a profound need for control or a manifestation of high anxiety levels.   Through the lens of child-centered play therapy, we can unravel the root causes and provide lasting solutions. By reflecting her feelings, giving her choices, and fostering her self-esteem through encouragement, we empower this young girl to develop an emotional vocabulary, self-regulation, and a healthy sense of self-worth – the very tools she needs to overcome her body image struggles.   Remember, the behavior itself is not the problem; it's a window into her internal world. As we guide her through this journey, she'll naturally internalize self-acceptance, regardless of her physical appearance. The path to healing lies in addressing the core emotional needs, not just the surface symptoms. With patience, empathy, and a child-centered approach, she can develop resilience and confidence.   Ask Me Questions:  Call ‪(813) 812-5525‬, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/   References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.