S2E23 - Solving Hygiene Battles with Choices
Description
In this episode, I address a common parenting challenge: children's resistance to hygiene practices. I respond to a question from Rosemary in Florida, who's struggling with her 10-year-old daughter's refusal to use soap while showering and to wipe and flush after using the bathroom.
I explain that this behavior is fundamentally a power and control issue. Children have control over very few things in their lives, and hygiene routines are one area where they can exert independence. To address this, I introduce the concept of choice giving as a powerful parenting tool. I walk through how to set clear expectations and use ultimate choice giving to return some power to the child while maintaining parental authority.
I emphasize the importance of identifying a child's "currency" - what motivates them - and incorporating it into the choices presented. Whether it's privacy in the bathroom or access to favorite activities, these choices give children ownership of their decisions and natural consequences. I also stress the need for consistency and starting fresh each day, allowing children to learn from their choices without carrying over punishments.
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Common References:
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.