Resource Yourself

In this episode of the Resource Yourself podcast, we explore what to do when you have a vision for your life — a secure relationship, a fulfilling career, a big world-changing goal — but you’re not there yet. You’ll hear three powerful distinctions to help you stay connected to your dreams: 1️⃣ Why your deepest desires are meant for you and how life wants to help you create them. 2️⃣ What it means to be in the in-between — the state where your being is catching up with what you’re creating — and how to trust this process. 3️⃣ How to find the medicine in the present moment, appreciating life now so you can keep moving forward with hope, gratitude, and courage. You’ll also hear stories and reminders about how to feel supported by life, heal old patterns, and stay devoted to your vision even when it’s not here yet. ✨ Ready for more? Explore my free training on Why Love Feels So Hard When You’re Anxiously Attached — and learn how to break old patterns and create secure, healthy love. 👉 Access the free training here

🎧 Episode Title: Return to Inner Knowing (Resourcing Practice) 📝 Episode Description: If you’ve been spinning in circles, stuck in overthinking, or just craving a moment of deep stillness—this is for you. In this guided resourcing practice, you’ll be gently led into a meditative experience designed to help you quiet the noise, reconnect with your inner wisdom, and receive the clarity you’ve been searching for. You’ll be guided into a visualization known as The Temple of Wisdom—a space beyond time, where your inner knowing becomes accessible again. This episode is here to help you: Calm a looping or anxious mind Shift out of emotional overwhelm Reconnect with your intuition and body wisdom Receive symbolic insight, guidance, or clarity Leave with a grounded, peaceful sense of direction Whether you’re healing anxious attachment or just need a moment to feel supported from within, this practice is your anchor back to what’s real and true inside you. ✨ Save this one to return to anytime life feels loud. 📥 Want More Support? → Download the Free 27 Secure Attachment Green Flags For Dating Checklist → Explore the “From Anxious to Secure” Program 📲 Connect with Me: Instagram → @seforaray Website → www.therapytothrive.com

💬 Episode Summary: If the word boundary makes your nervous system flinch a little — this episode is for you. In today’s conversation, Sefora shares why most people (especially anxious attachers) confuse complaints with boundaries, and how that confusion can keep you stuck in protest mode, overgiving, or saying what you don’t want… without ever clearly naming what you do. You’ll learn why true boundaries are sacred invitations — not walls, not ultimatums — and how to set them from a place of clarity, desire, and self-respect. From romantic relationships to the chaos of divisive politics, this episode explores: Why anxious attachers often struggle to follow through on consequences What it really means to say “I need” or “I have to have” (before you’re in a spiral) The difference between punishment and inviting people into the love you’re creating How to stop people-pleasing without swinging into defensiveness or disconnection The feast metaphor that will change how you think about boundaries forever What it means to set a boundary in your personal life, your politics, and your presence in the world If you’ve ever wondered how to be clear without being harsh, or how to protect your peace without cutting people off in anger — this one is for you. ✨ Boundaries rooted in love are possible. ✨ And the people who want what you’re creating will pull up a chair. —   For more Resources or info on how to be secure in relationship goto www.therapytothrive.com 

Episode Title: Reclaiming the Parts of You That Love Left Behind 🌀 Episode Summary: In today’s resourcing audio, I’m guiding you through a deeply restorative practice to help you reclaim the parts of yourself you’ve given away—especially in past relationships. Whether it's someone you loved, someone you worked tirelessly for, or even a person or cause you’re still mentally spinning about, this visualization is here to bring your energy back home. This isn’t about blame. It’s about coming back into wholeness. You’ll be gently led through a process of calling your care, attention, love, and power back to you—so you can feel full, whole, and anchored in yourself again. This practice can be returned to any time you feel drained, heartbroken, or just want to reconnect with your center. 🎙 What You'll Experience: A grounding breath practice to calm and center you A guided visualization to identify where your energy may still be entangled Powerful affirmations to call your love and power back A soft landing into self-devotion, self-respect, and emotional sovereignty 🫀This is for you if: You still think about someone who couldn’t love you back You’ve given so much in love, and now feel emptied out You're craving closure, healing, or energetic freedom You want to feel full again—without needing anyone else to give that to you Let this be your space to return to yourself, again and again. ✨ Press play and come back to your wholeness. You deserve every piece of yourself.

🌿 Episode Summary: Hello my friend—welcome back to the Resource Yourself podcast. Today, we’re exploring a powerful and often overlooked truth: healing isn’t just about feeling the hard stuff. Healing gets to feel good. In this episode, I share why goodness—love, safety, beauty, joy—isn’t just a side effect of healing, it’s a requirement. We talk about how nervous system regulation, gratitude, and moments of peace actually lay the foundation for deep transformation. Whether you’re healing your attachment style, working through grief, navigating injustice, or simply trying to stay grounded in a chaotic world—this episode is your invitation to come back to center. To reconnect with what you love. To soften. To receive. To allow goodness in. And from that place? You’ll not only feel better—you’ll become more powerful, more effective, and more connected. 🧠 In this episode, you’ll learn: Why feeling good isn’t a distraction from healing—it’s a prerequisite The connection between love and nervous system regulation How to recognize the love behind your anger, grief, and heartbreak What Joanna Macy taught me about gratitude as activism The wisdom of Quaker silence, Buddhist stillness, and earth-based listening How to ask for support (from people, spirit, or the earth) and actually receive it Practical ways to anchor into love, joy, and support—even when things are hard 🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned: 🌸 Follow me on Instagram for daily reminders, reels, and resourcing tools: @seforaray 🎧 Listen to other episodes of the podcast: Resource Yourself on Apple Podcasts Resource Yourself on Spotify 💌 Join my email list to get love notes, healing tools, and program updates: Sign up here 💗 Want to work with me? Explore my transformational program:From Anxious to Secure 📚 Learn more about Joanna Macy and her work on “The Work That Reconnects”: https://workthatreconnects.org 🕊️ Curious about Quaker spiritual practice? https://www.fgcquaker.org 💬 Let’s Stay Connected: If this episode stirred something in you, please share it with someone you love. Tag me on Instagram @seforaray and let me know your biggest takeaway. And if you want more support, or you’re ready to feel grounded, seen, and secure in love—DM me the word "SECURE" and I’ll send you a resource that helps ground you in secure, happy relationships. 🌹 Closing Thought: You don’t have to be in pain to be growing. You don’t have to be endlessly struggling to be evolving. Your healing gets to feel good. And you are so, so worthy of that goodness.

✨ Episode Summary: This one’s part pep talk, part prayer, part soul-hug. If you’ve been moving through some tough stuff or just need a reminder that life is on your side — this episode is your call back to truth, love, and presence. Perfect for your morning walk, your drive across town, or while folding laundry with the windows open — this is your invitation to breathe deeper, release the noise, and remember who the hell you are. We’ll ground into the here and now, speak to your bigness, and remind your nervous system (and your soul) that… You are not behind. You’re doing better than you think. And there’s so much good still ahead. Heads up: there’s a little swearing — and a lot of love. 🌿 🔥 What You’ll Hear in This Episode: A grounding practice to return to presence and peace Why nothing is wrong even when everything feels hard A fiery spoken word moment to shake off doubt and reclaim your strength A reminder that love, truth, and beauty are right here — and you’re allowed to let them in A declaration you’ll want to repeat out loud (spoiler: “I am [first name] fucking [last name]…” 🫶) 💌 Loved this episode? Please leave a review or share it with someone who could use a little encouragement today. You never know who needs to hear that they're doing better than they think.

✨ Episode Summary: In this deeply supportive and transformational episode of Resource Yourself, I’m sharing one of my favorite tools—something that’s been powerful for me, for my clients, and for the students in my programs. It’s a process I’m calling the Spell of Remembering—and yes, it comes with a magical word: DRACO. This isn’t just another mindset trick. It’s a way to intervene in the exact moment you feel stuck, shift the unconscious loops you’ve been living inside of, and reconnect with something that’s been waiting beneath the surface of your life. I’ll walk you through how to use the DRACO spell to move from old, limiting decisions into new states of being—states that invite ease, support, love, and joy into your relationships, your work, and your world. You'll also hear how I use this process to reframe even the heaviest beliefs—whether they’re personal, ancestral, or political—and reclaim a sense of agency in the face of them. Whether you’re working through anxious attachment, burnout, scarcity, heartbreak, or existential despair—this spell is here to bring you home to something powerful, ancient, and alive inside you. This episode is full of personal examples, practical prompts, and poetic inspiration—and I truly hope it sparks something inside you. 🔮 What You’ll Learn in This Episode: Why the beliefs running your life might actually be decisions your brain made to keep you safe How every decision cuts off a different possibility—and how to remember what got left behind How to spiral up using new, empowering associations The five-part DRACO spell for interrupting patterns and reconnecting to truth: D — Decision: Identify the core belief as a decision you made (or inherited) R — Remember: Name what truth got cut off in that moment A — Allow: Spiral up by allowing in new ideas, new evidence, and new possibilities C — Connect: Bring the experience into your body and your emotional field O — Open: Expand into action, openness, and embodiment of your new state How this tool can be used for love, work, creative resistance, spiritual alignment—and even for reframing political despair 🧠 Why It Matters: So many of us walk around with unconscious beliefs like: “I’m fundamentally alone.” “I have to work really hard to be loved.” “Support isn’t available to me.” “Work is supposed to be exhausting.” “The world is broken, and I’m powerless to change it.” And while we may know those beliefs aren’t serving us… sometimes we don’t know how to get out of them. This episode offers a concrete, heartfelt tool to do just that—by helping you access the wisdom that’s been cut off, the possibility you forgot to imagine, and the embodiment of a life that feels way more aligned with who you truly are. 🪄 Quotes to Remember: “What if the beliefs in your life weren’t beliefs… but actually decisions?” “The root of the word decide is -cide. It means: to cut off. So what got cut off when you made that decision?” “Your brain is associative. You are associative in being. Which means you can spiral into fear—or spiral up into something new.” “DRACO is not about bypassing pain. It’s about reclaiming power.” “Open to this truth being yours. Let it take up space. Let it shift what you do next.” 💌 Special Invitation: If you resonated with this episode—especially the parts about anxious attachment, core beliefs, or creating a new emotional reality—then I would love to invite you into my full program, From Anxious to Secure. Enrollment is open this week only, and this is the only time I’ll be offering it at this level of live support for a while. Inside the program, we go even deeper into: Nervous system work Healing insecure attachment Building emotional safety Receiving love instead of chasing it And learning how to resource yourself every day Learn more and join us here 🌿 Resources & Links: Join From Anxious to Secure  Connect with me on Instagram → @seforaray Share this episode with a friend who could use some magic ✨ Rate & review the show if it supported you 💖 🎧 Listen To This Episode If… You’re feeling stuck in old patterns and want a fresh way out You’ve been carrying beliefs that don’t serve you, and you’re ready to lay them down You’ve done all the self-help things, but still feel stuck You want a tool that blends psychology, magic, and nervous system regulation You’re craving a sense of possibility, hope, and creative power in your life Thanks for being here, friend. Your remembering is powerful. And you’re never alone in it. With love, Sefora 💫

The Two Trees Visualization: Returning to Togetherness 🧘‍♀️ Episode Summary: In today’s special solo episode, I’m sharing something close to my heart — a calming, grounding visualization from my upcoming Secure Attachment 3-Day Challenge. It's called The Two Trees, and it's more than just a soothing practice. It’s an invitation. This visualization is designed to reconnect you with a deep sense of togetherness — the feeling of being accompanied, supported, and not alone as you move through life. Whether you're facing challenges in love, navigating uncertainty, or simply needing to feel more held and rooted in your body, this episode is a soft landing. I’ll guide you into a space where you can feel what it’s like to belong — not just in romantic relationships, but in a bigger, soulful way that affects how you live, love, and take action in the world. 🌿 What You’ll Experience: A gentle, guided visualization practice A reminder that you are not alone The energetic blueprint of secure attachment How togetherness can be a resource — especially in hard times 🧡 Perfect For You If: You’re craving connection You want to feel more emotionally grounded You're exploring or healing your attachment style You need a nervous system reset and don’t want to do it alone

5 Beliefs That Keep You Stuck in Insecure Attachment (and How to Shift Them) 📝 Show Notes: Hey there, and welcome back to the Resource Yourself Podcast with Sefora Janel Ray. In today’s episode, we’re digging deep into the five sneaky beliefs that keep people trapped in patterns of insecure attachment — even after years of therapy, personal growth, or trying to “do the work.” Whether you identify with anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment (or just feel like love is a struggle), these beliefs might sound painfully familiar: “I can’t get enough support.” “I’m fundamentally alone in life.” “Something’s wrong with me — that’s why love doesn’t work out.” “If I let myself hope, I’ll just be disappointed.” “Being in relationship is stressful and hard.” These beliefs often form in childhood or through painful adult relationships — and without realizing it, you may still be living by them. In this episode, Sefora breaks each one down, explaining: ✨ Where it comes from ✨ How it impacts your nervous system and relationships ✨ Why it creates a self-fulfilling cycle of stress, disconnection, and self-blame ✨ And how to begin shifting out of the primal state that keeps you stuck You’ll also hear a powerful reframe: Secure attachment isn’t just something you have — it’s something you can practice. It’s a state of being that’s available to you, and it starts with learning to receive support. If you’ve ever thought: “Why do I feel like I’m always chasing love?” “Why is it so hard to trust people will show up?” “Maybe I’m just too much…” — then this episode is for you. 🔗 Sign up for the FREE Secure Attachment Challenge Learn how to stop repeating old patterns and start cultivating secure love — from the inside out. Challenge begins April 4th. [Link in the show notes] — 🔖 Resources & Links: • Join the Secure Attachment Challenge → •Explore more about attachment styles →  • Want the replay of the VIP Energetics Call? Reach out via email or DM — 💌 Stay Connected IG: @seforaray Website: www.therapytothrive.com If this episode resonated, share it with a friend, leave a review, or tag Sefora on Instagram — she loves hearing what’s shifting for you. This episode is your invitation to let go of old survival patterns… And start building love that actually feels good. 🤍

The Power of Secure Attachment (Plus a Sneak Peek of the Secure Attachment Challenge!) Episode Summary: Understanding secure attachment is powerful enough to transform not just your relationships, but your entire life—your career, your finances, even global issues like political division and war. In this episode, I share why relational skills are the missing piece in our culture and how learning secure attachment can help us build healthier, more connected lives. Plus, I’m giving you an exclusive sneak peek into my Secure Attachment Challenge, where you’ll learn how secure people create stable, fulfilling relationships—and how you can too. What You’ll Learn in This Episode: Why secure attachment is the foundation for healthy relationships and a better world The 4 attachment styles and how they shape your relationships How practicing secure behaviors can rewire your attachment style Why teamwork is a key trait of securely attached relationships The science of co-regulation, eye contact, and nervous system synchronization How humor and playfulness strengthen secure relationships Sneak Peek of the Secure Attachment Challenge: Clip 1: How practicing secure behaviors helps you become more secure Clip 2: The team mindset of securely attached relationships Clip 3: The power of co-regulation in deepening connection Clip 4: Why eye contact and facial mirroring create emotional safety Clip 5: The role of humor in secure relationships Join the Secure Attachment Challenge! This 3-day free challenge is designed to help you understand attachment at a deep level and start embodying secure behaviors in your relationships. ✨ It’s free for a limited time! Sign up here: www.therapytothrive.com Resources & Links: Learn more about attachment styles: www.therapytothrive.com Follow me on Instagram for more relationship tips: @seforaray If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who needs to hear this! 💛

Episode Title: You Were Made for These Times Host: Sefora Janel Ray Episode Summary: In today’s episode, we explore the idea that the challenges you’re facing right now aren’t mistakes or random obstacles—they might be exactly what you came here for. What if your struggles aren’t just inconveniences but invitations to step into your power? What if you already have the wisdom and resilience to navigate this moment? Sefora shares a powerful perspective on how life’s difficulties shape us, drawing from ancient hero stories, reincarnation concepts, and the deep knowing that we are built for these times. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, tired, or questioning why things feel so hard—this episode is for you. What You’ll Learn in This Episode: ✨ Why heroes are forged through challenge—not ease ✨ The idea that life on Earth is a training ground for soul evolution ✨ How to reframe your current struggles as a call to step into your strength ✨ The power of taking on a new perspective: What if you were born for this? ✨ Why you might already have everything you need to navigate this moment Resources & Mentions: 📖 A book on past lives and reincarnation (referenced but not named) 💡 Reflection questions: What if this challenge isn’t a mistake, but part of my path? What if my gifts and skills are exactly what the world needs right now? How would I show up if I believed I was made for this moment? Listener Takeaway: You are not in the wrong place. You are not unprepared. Everything in your life has led you to this moment. And if you were born for this, you also have the strength to move through it. Connect with Sefora: 📲 Instagram: @seforaray 📩 Website: www.therapytothrive.com for deeper insights and resources 💬 Share this episode: If this spoke to you, send it to a friend who needs to hear it. ✨ Thank you for listening! You were made for this. ✨

Episode Summary: What you resist, persists. But what if resistance wasn’t something to fight against—but a doorway into clarity, healing, and action? In this episode, I explore how resistance can be a portal to resourcing yourself and share six practical steps to work with it instead of pushing it away. Whether you’re resisting a tough conversation, avoiding self-care, feeling overwhelmed by world events, or procrastinating on something important, this episode will help you shift from stuckness to inspired action. I n This Episode, You’ll Learn: ✅ Why resistance isn’t just avoidance—it’s revealing something deeper ✅ How to identify what you’re resisting and why ✅ The hidden benefits of resistance (yes, there’s always a reason!) ✅ How to uncover what you truly need beneath the resistance ✅ A step-by-step process to shift into inspired, aligned action ✅ A personal story about how leaning into resistance changed my life . The 6 Steps to Work With Resistance: 1️⃣ Identify the Thing You’re Resisting – Name it and get curious. 2️⃣ Recognize the Benefit of Resisting – What is this resistance protecting you from? 3️⃣ Acknowledge the Cost of Resisting – What are you missing out on? 4️⃣ Understand What You Truly Need – What is the deeper need beneath this? 5️⃣ Feel Into What You Want – Imagine the version of reality where this is easy and fulfilling. 6️⃣ Take Inspired Action – Not forced action—aligned, nourishing action. Examples We Cover: 💡 Avoiding dating → Feeling into what secure love would feel like 💡 Resisting a hard conversation → Realizing you actually want closeness and understanding 💡 Feeling too overwhelmed to engage with the world → Recognizing your deep desire for a supportive, just society 💡 Procrastinating self-care → Noticing your longing for ease and nourishment 💡 Holding back in business → Understanding your fear and stepping into expansion Take Action: ✨ Pick one thing you’re resisting and get curious about it. ✨ Ask yourself: What do I actually want on the other side of this resistance? ✨ What’s one small, inspired action I can take today? Resistance isn’t just a block—it’s a signpost to something that deeply matters to you. Lean in. See what shifts. 🎧 Listen 🔔 If you found this episode helpful, share it with a friend and tag me on social media! I’d love to hear what resonated with you. 📩 Want more support? Find more at www.therapytothrive.com or follow me @seforaray Let’s break through resistance—together. 🚀💛

Host: Sefora Janel Ray Episode Overview: Welcome to the Resource Yourself Podcast—the space where I remind you of the goodness that surrounds you, so you can move through life’s challenges with wisdom, resilience, and grace. In today’s episode, I’m sharing a peptalk about how you are a creator and how life supports you in all things. If you ever find yourself needing a reminder of your power, your purpose, and the support that is always available to you, this episode is for you. What You’ll Hear in This Episode: ✨ Why remembering who you are as a creator can shift your perspective ✨ How resistance, frustration, and even jealousy can guide you toward your next creation ✨ A series of affirmations to awaken your sense of connection, purpose, and trust in life ✨ How to recognize and receive the support that is already available to you This is an invitation to let these words wash over you, strengthen you, and support you throughout your day. Key Affirmations from This Episode: 💫 I am connected to all of life, and life supports me in all things. 💫 My desires, my resistance, and my emotions all guide me toward what I am meant to create. 💫 It is safe for me to love myself, to adore myself, and to embrace the beauty of life. 💫 I am built for these times, and every challenge bolsters my commitment to the world I am fostering. 💫 My ancestors and allies support me in my love for life and my creations. Take This With You: You are not alone in your creation. Life is working with you, not against you. And you, my friend, are deeply loved and supported in all things. Connect & Share: If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might need these reminders today. Tag me on Instagram @seforaray and let me know what resonated with you. Look up www.therapytothrive.com for more resources! 💛 Until next time, keep creating, keep believing, and keep receiving all the goodness life has to offer. -Sefora

Host: Sefora Janel Ray Episode Summary: In this episode, Sefora guides you through a powerful meditation designed to connect you with your future self—the version of you who has already stepped into the life, love, and security you desire. Drawing from the wisdom of various healing traditions, she helps you ground into possibility, move beyond fear, and embody the future you want to create. What You'll Hear in This Episode: A reflection on how easy it is to imagine endings—of relationships, systems, or the world as we know it—but how much harder it is to envision a thriving, healthy, and emotionally mature future. Why grounding yourself in your desired future is essential for bringing it into reality. The inspiration behind this meditation, including insights from Post Capitalist Philanthropy by Lynn Murphy, and teachings from Joanna Macy, Elizabeth Purvis, and EMDR practices. A guided visualization to connect with your future self, receive wisdom, and embody the version of you that has already arrived. The importance of calling your energy back to yourself before stepping into an expansive vision. How to integrate the feelings, insights, and wisdom of your future self into your present life. Why This Matters: It’s easy to dwell in frustration about what’s not working—whether in love, work, or the world at large. But what if, instead of just resisting what is, you started living in alignment with the future you actually want? This meditation is a tool to help you do just that. Resources & Mentions: Post Capitalist Philanthropy: Healing Wealth in a Time of Collapse – Lynn Murphy Joanna Macy’s Work on Deep Ecology & The Great Turning Elizabeth Purvis’ Manifestation Teachings EMDR & Future Self Visualization Connect with Sefora: www.therapytothrive.com @seforaray ✨ If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend or leave a review! Let’s build a more secure, resourced, and connected future together. 💛

Welcome to the Resource Yourself Podcast with Sefora! 🌟 In today’s episode, we’re diving deep into the fascinating and transformative world of shadow work. Shadow work isn’t just about dealing with your inner gremlins—it’s about reclaiming your wholeness and seeing yourself (and others) with more compassion and clarity. From understanding Carl Jung’s concept of the shadow to exploring the bright shadow (the Beyoncé of your psyche!), this episode will help you navigate your inner world and relationships with wisdom, resilience, and maybe even a bit of humor. What You’ll Learn in This Episode: What shadow work is and why it’s so powerful. How shadow work can resource your life and relationships. The benevolent leader story: seeing everyone as a reflection of yourself. How shadow work supports secure attachment styles. The bright shadow: owning your untapped strengths and qualities. Practical exercises to reclaim disowned parts of yourself. Key Takeaways: Shadow Work Basics The shadow includes parts of yourself you’ve suppressed and project onto others. Owning these parts helps you become more whole, less reactive, and more compassionate. Shadow Work in Relationships Emotional triggers are often tied to disowned traits. By recognizing your projections, you can improve communication, set healthier boundaries, and experience deeper connections. The Bright Shadow The bright shadow represents your hidden talents, strengths, and potential. The qualities you admire in others often reflect traits you have but haven’t fully expressed. Practical Exercises Identify traits in others that trigger or inspire you. Ask yourself: How do these traits reflect something in me? Practice affirmations like, “I have the courage to shine,” and take small actions to embody these traits. Sefora’s Stories: Childhood experiences with being nicknamed "Lobotomy" and how it shaped her need to seem smart. Living in an eco-village and navigating community dynamics with shadow work. How growing up in a divorced family influenced her ability to see multiple perspectives—and her shadow desire for conviction and certainty. Resources Mentioned: Book: The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford. Visit www.therapytothrive.com for more resources and support. Challenge for This Week: Think of one person who really annoys you and one person you admire. What traits are you noticing in them? How might those traits reflect something about you? Journal about it or try the shadow work exercises shared in this episode. Closing Inspiration: “As Rumi says, ‘Welcome every part of yourself in. Sit with them, have tea.’ Because when we do this, we become better—not just for ourselves but for the world around us.” Thank you for tuning in! If you loved this episode, please share it with a friend and leave a review to help others discover the show. For more tips, resources, and support, visit www.therapytothrive.com. Let’s keep exploring this powerful work together! 🌟

Hey there, Welcome to the Resource Yourself Podcast! I’m Sefora, here to ground you in the goodness that’s all around you, so when life throws you challenges, you can navigate them with wisdom, resilience, and grace. In this episode, I share a personal story about resistance and how leaning into it helped me uncover a powerful message: Permission to Enjoy Yourself. We dive into: How life’s struggles and cultural norms can make us forget to enjoy life. Why enjoying yourself is a radical and necessary act, especially in the face of challenges. The wisdom of Joanna Macy and how her teachings inspire gratitude and hope. The connection between joy and resilience, particularly for those with insecure attachment styles. Practical ways to ground yourself in the goodness of life, from noticing small joys to rethinking the structures in your life. This episode is filled with reflections, practical tips, and a heartfelt invitation to prioritize joy, even in hard times. Take a moment to think about one thing you can do today that reliably brings you joy. And remember, enjoying yourself isn’t just for you—it’s for everyone you love and the world you want to help create. Links and Resources: For more insights and resources, visit my website: www.therapytothrive.com . Tune in to the next episode, where we’ll explore even more ways to resource yourself. See you there!

 In this episode of the Resource Yourself podcast, Sefora Janel Ray dives into the essential topic of finding a trustworthy therapist or coach to support your attachment and relationship growth journey. Sefora shares her insights, biases, and personal experiences to guide listeners in making informed decisions about who to work with. Key Highlights: The Importance of Rapport and Understanding: Choose someone you like and feel understood by. Consider factors such as shared experiences, identity, or relatability, but remember these are just the baseline. The Value of Experience in Relationship Work: Seek professionals who have worked with couples. Experience with couples provides a deeper understanding of relationship dynamics and helps identify sabotaging patterns. Homework and Accountability: Therapists or coaches who provide homework encourage active participation and progress. Homework can address different attachment styles (e.g., anxious or avoidant) and helps individuals reflect, process, and implement changes. Honest Treatment Plans: Look for a clear plan outlining steps for growth and healing. Treatment plans provide structure and help set realistic expectations, especially for couples navigating complex dynamics. Confrontation with Compassion: A good professional will lovingly and skillfully challenge patterns that keep you stuck. This includes interrupting unproductive tendencies and redirecting focus to transformative work. Feeling Resourced and Learning to Resource Yourself: The goal of therapy or coaching should be empowerment and independence, not dependency. When done well, you integrate the tools and perspectives learned into your life. Experience and Training Matter: Beware of undertrained professionals in the booming attachment space. Look for someone who teaches, has deep experience, or integrates methods like EMDR for accelerated progress. Additional Insights: Therapy vs. Coaching: While both have strengths, it's crucial to find the right fit for your needs. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can be a transformative tool, especially for attachment work. Sefora’s Final Thoughts: Finding the right person to support your journey is pivotal. Effective work should feel powerful, transformational, and deeply supportive of your goals to create love and secure relationships. Takeaway Checklist for Choosing a Therapist or Coach: Do you like them and feel understood? Have they worked with couples? Do they have experience or teach in the field? Do they provide homework to ensure progress? Do they offer an honest treatment plan? Are they skilled at confronting your patterns with compassion? Do they help you feel resourced and teach you to resource yourself? Visit My Website: www.seforaray.comExplore more resources, programs, and tools for building secure relationships. Stay Inspired:Follow me on Instagram @seforaray for daily insights and tips. Tune in to the next episode for more empowering conversations to resource yourself and transform your relationships!

For some people, goal setting can actually create stress, or depression. How do you enjoy yourself along the way? In this podcast we do a movement visualization and affirmation to focus on things that help us enjoy ourselves as we create better relationships and lives. We presence what is good so that it can fuel our future. For more resources goto www.therapytothrive.com

In this episode, I open up to talk about my own journey with attachment, and how I kept attracting unavailable men over and over again. I break down the 4 things that FINALLY changed my attachment style. For more information about my programs or resources goto www.therapytothrive.com

In this episode we talk about letting in more moments of love, more moments of gratitude and awe, and how that can help our nervous system, our attachment styles, and generally increase our experience of joy in life. For more information or to go deeper into this work, check out www.therapytothrive.com