“The day that you wake up, and you realize that you have been had, and the person you’re sleeping with is not the person you fell in love with, that’s the first day of your real marriage.” - James Framo. In this episode, my husband and I walk you through our journey through the four stages of relationship. From the initial spark of love without knowledge to the mature state of knowing love, we'll share insights into each stage and how they have shaped our 27-year relationship. Whether yo...
Today, I'm so grateful to share with you a profoundly moving conversation with Myra Sack, a woman who embodies the essence of resilience and intimacy with life.In her newly released book, 57 Fridays: Losing Our Daughter, Finding Our Way, Myra brings us into the intimate journey through the immense grief of losing her daughter, Havi, to Tay-Sachs disease. I wanted to bring Myra onto the show to explore the delicate balance between the most painful and beautiful moments of our lives. This epi...
I want to go deep with you today about something that's been coming up a lot in my life and work: what it means to embrace our power and pleasure as women. For the longest time, I used to feel guilty for wanting more, for desiring abundance and joy in my life.But, after many years of being stifled under my feelings of shame, I realized that by prioritizing my own well-being and pleasure, I wasn't being selfish—I was actually becoming more generous, more present, and more alive. And now, I'm h...
So often, we find ourselves stuck in the same old patterns, grappling with conflicts or feeling disconnected. We try workshops, therapy, self-help books, but somehow, things just don't stick. After today's episode, you'll understand why and what steps to take next. Through working in this way, I've seen couples completely turn things around in as little as three days, or a couple of focused weeks. But what I'm about to share isn't just for those who work with me. It's a roadmap for anyone see...
I was so grateful to sit down and record with my teacher, Eric Klein, the founder of Wisdom Heart along with his wife, Devi. I wanted you to hear from him what he's teaching me about my body, mind, spirit, and the way that those interact with the experiences I have in my marriage, my earning, my business -- pretty much in every area of my life.I am thrilled for you all to hear Eric talk with us about some of the ways that you can apply planetary astrology, the chakras, meditation, and the s...
So many women come to me wanting to turn up their libidos and experience more and better orgasms. I start by asking them 11 questions that, on the surface, don’t seem directly related to erotic desire. But the answers that women give me tell me a ton about their relationships with themselves, their turn-on, their bodies, their sensations, and with their capacity to contain embodied experiences, both desired experiences and not desired experiences.In this episode, I'm going to ask you th...
The term “gaslighting” has become a buzzword in recent years and, because of its widespread use, the meaning of this term has become a bit murky. In a nutshell, gaslighting is when you are experiencing something and endeavoring to talk to the other person about it, but they flip it around on you so that you wind up questioning yourself, your own character, motivations, and even grip on reality. Today, I want to talk about what I call “gaslighting lite” or the ways that understanding the gasli...
You may have heard the term “patriarchy” used to describe a social and political construct, but, as my mentor, Terry Real, explains, it is also a psychological notion. The way that patriarchy defines rigid gender roles becomes subconsciously embedded in the way we think and behave, which has deep implications for both partners inside a relationship. How can we recognize when psychological patriarchy is at play and what can we do to counteract it? In this episode, I’ll discuss:How our sen...
Kurt and I have been married for almost 23 years and we're planning on another 50 to 75 together. We think, in terms of taking care of our bodies, minds and spirits and given the way technology is going, we could each live to be well over a hundred which gives us an amazingly long time to grow in love together and to contribute in so many other parts of our lives. Today's episode is about how we think about what I call, for shorthand “The 100-Year Marriage” and how you could think about it to...
At 50 or 60 years old, you don’t have the same career, health, finances, or family life that you did when you were 30. Why should your sex life be the same as it was 20 years ago? As we age, our bodies go through natural changes that can affect our sexual experiences and desires. This leads people to believe that they are no longer able to have the sexual experiences they used to. I’m here to tell you that fulfilling and pleasurable sex is possible at any age.In this episode, we’ll talk...
Kurt and I just enjoyed celebrating our 25th Valentine's Day together, but, truthfully, we try to live like every day is V-Day. We know that love is a habit and a skill set that requires effort and practice 365 days a year. If you want a love that gets better over time, you need to intentionally date your partner all year long, not just on holidays or anniversaries. In today’s episode, I’ll give you a year’s worth of date ideas that will bring you closer and deeper in love.We’ll talk about:Th...
Whenever I say that I help couples create Legacy Love, the people I’m talking to light up because they're the kind of people who have a vision for their whole life. They want to leave a legacy in this lifetime and creating a love worth kind of handing down, something that goes far beyond just the couple to bless others, appeals to them. But, as great as that sounds, a lot of people ask me, what do you really mean by Legacy Love and what does that entail?In this episode, we’ll talk about:The e...
In this episode, I'll walk you through a couple of the ways that I've been helping clients for more than 20 years to review their old year and vision their new year. Visioning together is one of the foundations of Legacy Love; creating a relationship that's not just good, not just great, but builds your impact in the world, the legacy you want to leave behind, for not just you and your beloved, but your family, your community and the greater world.In this episode, we’ll talk about:How to use ...
How far are you willing to go to create the passionate marriage you want? Are you ready to try anything? If you’re like many of my clients, you’re willing to do whatever it takes to create a connected, turned-on relationship. And I believe you can do it. Unfortunately, there’s no silver bullet that will resolve your conflicts and create closeness. You may have already tried many different strategies but still don’t see the desired results. In today’s episode, I’m going to talk about some of t...
If you feel like you are wasting your time and energy being upset about the same things month after month, year after year, the good news is that there’s a way out. You can break the cycle of hurt and resentment that keeps you from living the life you want. Sound good? Today's episode will equip you to free yourself from any grudge, irritation, frustration, resistance or anger that you may be carrying and take your power back.In this episode, you’ll hear about:What I've learned about digging ...
In my coaching practice and in my life, I hear so many questions about family planning; how to decide, when to start, and how many kids to have. The list goes on. There are strong societal expectations around becoming parents that can keep us from realizing what we really want and what’s best for us and our relationships. In this episode, I decided to round up my thoughts on some of the common questions I get around children and their effect on relationship that you may be consideringIn this ...
While I’m not a clinical psychology professional, I often work with couples who have discovered that their brains are wired in completely different ways. This realization often arises when one partner (or both) consistently behaves in a way that creates friction between them, totally baffling the other. As humans, our brains are wonderfully diverse and have unique strengths, but it’s hard to understand what’s going on in your partner’s head when their experience is so different from your own....
If it feels like you're in a dry spell- your desires don’t match up, you’re not that interested, or it’s hard to transition from your everyday life to a really fulfilling sexual encounter, this episode is for you. Today I want to talk with you about what I think of as "nano sex." It's those little microscopic, erotic connections that create a lubricant in your day-to-day experience together to help us get to full-blown erotic encounters and get more pleasure out of our daily connection. ...
Something your partner did cause you pain and frustration. You want to tell them what hurt you, but you seem to always end up in a fight when you bring it up. Sound familiar? In this episode, I get into the specifics of how you can deliver feedback about something your partner did and what you'd like them to do differently in a way that actually gets results. Every single couple has to have these conversations, but you can develop skills that can reduce the negative fallout and even bring you...
These past few weeks have been tough on our nervous systems. Many people are hurting and bewildered. I wondered how I could best help through the podcast, and what came to me was that this popular episode, recorded with my friend Jessica Pullins, PhD, is the best set of tools I can give you to help you pull yourself and others through when your heart and mind are reeling. If you have a nervous system, you need this episode. And particularly if you ever:Rreact strongly to your...
Virginia Ann
Thank you for this addressing this topic!