Sisters In Sobriety

This episode of Sisters in Sobriety dives into sober sex, desire, and rebuilding intimacy without substances with guest Taylor McConnachie - Registered Psychotherapist, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, and Certified Sexologist, founder of Embodied Sexual Wellness & Psychotherapy in Simcoe, Ontario. Taylor specializes in holistic sex therapy that blends science, somatics, and the sacred to help people heal shame, navigate desire discrepancies, and cultivate empowered sexuality. The answer questions that many sober (and sober-curious) listeners ask: What actually changes about desire and arousal in sobriety? How do somatic practices, mindful masturbation, and body scans help you get out of your head and into your body? What if there’s a desire discrepancy in a long-term relationship—or you’re dating for the first time sober and can’t tell whether you’re attracted? And how do we redefine intimacy when performance anxiety, shame, or old narratives show up? They'll talk about clear, trauma-informed steps to rebuild sexual wellbeing: using body scans to notice sensation without judgment; practicing mindful masturbation to shift from performance to presence; understanding spontaneous vs. responsive desire (and why sobriety often tilts toward responsive); approaching erectile concerns and arousal blocks through reconnection rather than quick fixes; and reframing “frequency goals” to reduce pressure and increase genuine sexual satisfaction. Expect grounded strategies that integrate attachment, somatics, and practical communication skills. Taylor also shares personal and clinical stories—from her own journey with pelvic pain and endometriosis in a rural community with few resources to real-world examples of couples rediscovering vulnerability as the engine of intimacy. Sonia opens up about her “sober sexual debut,” fumbling, and learning to feel desire without the shortcut of alcohol. They'll unpack the grief for what sex used to feel like and the hope of what it can become with curiosity and compassion. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. 00:00:43 — Why sex therapy needs to be its own specialty (and why many therapists aren’t trained to talk about sex) 00:03:10 — Taylor’s path: pelvic pain, endometriosis, and building the practice she needed but couldn’t find 00:05:02 — When a couples therapist refers to a sex therapist (scope, overlap, and teamwork) 00:07:12 — Certification matters: what AASECT tells you about training and safety 00:09:18 — Only ~14 AASECT-certified sex therapists in Canada—why that scarcity matters for care access 00:10:20 — From CBT to somatics: helping clients get out of their heads and into their bodies 00:12:05 — “Science meets the sacred”: honoring evidence while rejecting rigid pathologizing 00:14:52 — Movement as medicine: reconnecting with arousal and erection through embodied practice 00:16:48 — Pleasure after shame: the first time a client truly feels what their body can do 00:18:07 — Sober sex 101: noticing more (and why that can feel overwhelming and beautiful) 00:20:02 — Mindful masturbation as foundational homework for sober intimacy 00:22:31 — Presence over performance: rewiring dopamine loops without substances 00:23:14 — Performance anxiety myths: why sobriety can improve erectile function 00:26:12 — Spontaneous vs. responsive desire—and why sobriety often shifts the balance 00:29:05 — Grieving the old high: processing disappointment when sober sex feels different 00:31:22 — Normalize the fumble: reducing shame to unlock curiosity and desire 00:34:18 — Emotional intimacy as the gateway to sexual intimacy (and how to build it) 00:37:05 — Practicing vulnerability in bite-size reps to increase safety and trust 00:40:02 — Desire discrepancy is common: moving from urgency to understanding 00:45:02 — Taking sex off the pedestal: experiments that reveal what’s really holding a relationship together 00:46:18 — First step if you feel disconnected: body scans, zero judgment, gentle repetition Taylor's Links 📸 Instagram: @embodiedsexualwellness 🌐 Website: embodiedsexualwellness.com SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen dig into what it really takes to move from white-knuckling it to building a life rooted in calm, purpose, and—yes—joy. They’re joined by Cheryl Pasieka, author of Climbing the Stairs: My Journey from Addiction to Pure Joy, who shares how rehab, mindfulness, and a fierce commitment to self-care helped her stop hiding behind alcohol and start living on her own terms. Cheryl brings hard-won wisdom and practical tools for women in recovery. Across the conversation, they explore the fears that surface in early sobriety (What if I fail? What will people think?), how to set boundaries with negative energy, and what it means to choose sustainable joy over short-term relief. They touch on midlife purpose, rebuilding self-esteem, creating accountability, and why sharing your story can become someone else’s survival guide. Expect talk of relapse risk, root causes, nervous-system regulation, and using community, routine, and self-inquiry as anchors. Listeners will learn about reflective journaling (and the game-changer of rereading old entries), building a sobriety plan you revisit every six months, using mindfulness, yoga, and meditation to regulate stress, and creating accountability check-ins with trusted friends. Cheryl explains how to identify triggers, let go of resentments, and replace people-pleasing with “put your own oxygen mask on first.” You’ll also hear a refreshing definition of joy—a daily practice of noticing, gratitude, and positive reframing—that helps prevent drift into rumination or “I’ll just have one” thinking. Cheryl opens up about losing her mother, the spiral that followed, and the decision to go to rehab on Vancouver Island—phone surrendered, excuses stripped away. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. 00:00 – Toronto roots, quick hellos, and Cheryl’s book intro, Climbing the Stairs 02:05 – “I wanted sustainable joy”—why grief and stress made moderation impossible 03:10 – Vancouver Island rehab: no phone, no running, just the work 04:12 – The first two years: fear of failure, meetings, yoga, and perseverance 05:06 – “What if I fail publicly?”—accountability and shame in early sobriety 06:02 – Why “just cut back” advice from some doctors misses the disease entirely 07:20 – Oxygen mask first: releasing people-pleasing and caring less what others think 08:05 – The quote that sparked the memoir and a surprising push from a psychic 09:18 – From private journaling to “maybe this can help one person” publishing mindset 10:45 – Telling family and friends—acceptance, boundaries, and letting some people drift 12:02 – Owning the past: divorces, resentments, and the freedom of self-acceptance 15:04 – Root causes: self-esteem, secrets, and climbing into the hole when alone 16:10 – Defining joy: reframing the day, gratitude, and the Tim Hortons “rain vs spring” story 18:02 – Calm as part of joy: taking things as they come instead of spiraling 19:06 – Protecting energy: stepping back from chronic negativity without guilt 21:02 – The morning stack: journal, meditation, movement, and a girlfriends’ daily check-in 22:40 – Weekly accountability now, occasional counseling as needed—right-sizing support 23:36 – “Planting my own garden”: self-care as not waiting for permission (or flowers) 24:12 – Midlife meaning: six-month reviews, giving back, quilting for folks in need 27:02 – The power of rereading journals: past you showing present you the way through Cheryl's Links www.journeytopurejoy.ca SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

Sonia and her guest, Dr. Jyothi Rao, are diving into the kind of whole-body wellness that actually sticks. Dr. Rao is the Medical Director of Shakthi Health and Wellness Center in Maryland, blending science and compassion to help people get to the root of what’s going on in their bodies. She has over 25 years of experience helping patients turn their health around—plus she’s the author of Body on Fire and Body on Fire Cookbook. They’re talking about the big picture: why your energy might still be low even after ditching alcohol, how stress and sleep are secretly running the show, and what small daily shifts can make the biggest difference. Expect an easy-to-follow chat about inflammation, gut health, circadian rhythm, and what’s really going on with midlife hormones. Dr. Rao breaks down what actually works when it comes to lowering inflammation, balancing blood sugar, and building the kind of energy you can count on. You’ll learn how light exposure affects your sleep, why protein timing matters, and how things like strength training, hydration, and even acupuncture can help your body feel like yours again. This isn’t about overhauling your whole life—it’s about finding simple, doable steps that build on each other. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Episode Highlights (time-stamped) 00:00 — Why integrative medicine matters in sobriety 02:18 — Dr. Rao’s journey from conventional to functional medicine 05:12 — What “root cause” care actually means 07:45 — The inflammation–fatigue connection after alcohol 10:03 — Balancing blood sugar without overcomplicating meals 12:26 — Mitochondria and how to get your energy back 14:58 — Light, timing, and your circadian rhythm 17:40 — How to set yourself up for better sleep 20:22 — The gut–brain link and how it impacts cravings 23:05 — Staying hydrated without overdoing water 25:41 — Navigating perimenopause symptoms with lifestyle tweaks 28:09 — How stress affects your body (and how to calm it) 30:52 — When acupuncture can help 33:17 — Why strength training is a game changer in midlife 36:01 — Functional lab tests: worth it or not? 38:34 — What “liver detox” really means 41:10 — A real-life patient success story 44:02 — Habit stacking to make changes stick 47:19 — Building your own healthcare dream team 50:11 — Using wellness habits to help prevent relapse 53:28 — Quick recap: small steps, big wins Dr. Rao Links https://www.sarahkleinerwellness.com/all-free-resources https://mycircadianapp.com/ SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

If you’ve ever swallowed your anger to keep the peace, lost yourself in someone else’s needs, or swapped drinking for late-night snack binges, this episode is for you. On this week’s Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia is joined by Michelle Farris—psychotherapist, codependency expert, and anger management specialist—to talk about the deeper emotional work that comes with recovery. Michelle is known for her relatable approach and tools that help people stop people-pleasing, speak up for themselves, and finally build relationships that feel safe and real. What happens when we suppress anger in sobriety? How do we even recognize it if we were never taught what healthy anger looks like? Can we be codependent on someone who isn’t codependent on us? In this episode, Sonia and Michelle unpack what anger can teach us about ourselves, how codependency often hides behind “being nice,” and why food addiction recovery is often the next frontier in sobriety. Michelle shares practical strategies for identifying emotional triggers, creating healthy boundaries, and noticing the early signs of resentment before it explodes. You'll learn how to reframe your inner dialogue and develop self-talk that actually helps regulate intense emotions. Michelle also opens up about her own story—getting sober from food addiction at 20, what it was like dating someone in active addiction while working her own program, and the unexpected friendship breakup that made her realize she was still making other people her higher power, and how the desire to be loved can sometimes override our own sense of safety. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights (Timestamps) 00:00 – Meet Michelle Farris, psychotherapist and codependency expert 01:45 – Why she started teaching anger management (and how it cracked her open) 03:15 – What healthy anger actually looks like—and why it’s not yelling 04:40 – Stuffing your feelings vs. naming your hurt 06:00 – Why journaling is the safest place to let your rage out 07:30 – “Anger is rocket fuel”—how to recognize the heat before it explodes 08:45 – The connection between negative self-talk and emotional regulation 10:00 – What resentment really is (and why it’s sneaky) 11:20 – How suppressing anger can sabotage recovery 12:30 – Can you be angry and make amends? What recovery programs miss 14:15 – When anger turns inward—it often looks like guilt or shame 15:00 – Using mindfulness to stay present with your emotions 16:40 – Michelle’s story of getting sober through OA at age 20 18:00 – How food was her comfort and first addiction 19:30 – The sugar trap: what often happens in early sobriety 21:00 – Physical hunger vs. emotional hunger—how to tell the difference 22:15 – Why surrender, not control, is the key to food addiction recovery 23:30 – Trigger foods, writing a food history, and the power of structure 25:00 – Is it okay to wait before addressing food issues in recovery? 26:45 – Codependency 101: what it is, how it shows up, and why it’s a cycle 28:00 – Can you be codependent with a friend? (Michelle’s raw story says yes) 29:30 – Boundaries that work: why “I” statements are your best friend 31:00 – The people-pleasing trap: when kindness costs you your peace 32:15 – Flexible or codependent? The litmus test 34:00 – How to stop saying “yes” when your gut says “no” 35:30 – Michelle’s favorite recovery tools for emotional resilience 36:45 – The power of in-person meetings, especially post-COVID 38:00 – One last reminder: you’re allowed to take up space, feel your anger, and still be sober. Michelle Farris Links 🌐 Website: counselingrecovery.com 📺 YouTube: @MichelleFarrismft 📸 Instagram: @counseling_recovery SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

Ever feel like you're running on fumes, forgetting everything, and wondering if everyone else got the life manual you missed? In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen sit down with Christina Crowe, a Registered Psychotherapist and founder of Dig a Little Deeper, to unpack how ADHD—especially when undiagnosed—can shape our mental health, relationships, and recovery. Christina brings her clinical expertise and lived experience with ADHD to this conversation. Together, they explore questions like: Could undiagnosed ADHD be fueling your anxiety or substance use? Why is it so commonly missed in women? They also talk about how impulsivity, self-medicating, and the pressure to hold it all together affect women differently—and how to spot the signs that something deeper might be going on. You’ll walk away with a better understanding of how ADHD can show up in everyday life, why it often gets mistaken for depression or anxiety, and what tools actually work. Christina gets personal, talking about her own late-in-life diagnosis, how her son’s journey opened the door to her own, and what it’s like to finally have words (and support) for what never quite made sense before. This is Sisters in Sobriety—the support system helping women change their relationship with alcohol and rediscover themselves in the process. For more resources, journal prompts, and mocktail magic, check out our Substack. Episode Highlights [00:01:00] Christina’s career pivot: from biotech to therapy [00:03:30] How her son’s ADHD diagnosis helped her see her own [00:05:10] The “invisible” nature of ADHD symptoms [00:06:45] Why so many people with ADHD turn to substances like cocaine, cannabis, or food [00:08:30] What makes ADHD-related substance use different [00:09:50] Why it’s not that hard to diagnose ADHD—if you know what you’re looking for [00:11:30] How substance use can mask ADHD (and delay treatment) [00:12:50] Christina breaks down the fear of taking stimulants in recovery [00:14:15] The difference between addiction and dependence (and why it matters) [00:16:00] The potato chip aisle: a metaphor for cravings and impulse control [00:17:45] Real talk about impulsivity and Amazon carts [00:20:30] Why women often get missed—or misdiagnosed—for years [00:23:00] SSRIs, dopamine, and feeling “stuck” [00:25:15] Hormones and ADHD: how estrogen impacts symptoms [00:27:10] Tips for navigating the health system when you have executive dysfunction [00:30:30] How to talk to your doctor about ADHD (and what might be getting lost in translation) [00:32:15] The three-legged stool: meds, therapy, and executive function support [00:34:25] How to find a therapist who truly gets it [00:36:00] The post-diagnosis “reckoning” (aka rethinking your entire life) [00:38:00] Mindfulness for ADHD brains—yes, it can actually work (with the right approach) Christina's Links 💡 Christina Crowe – Dig A Little Deeper, Psychotherapy & Counselling SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

This week on Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen delve into the intersection of intimacy, sexuality, and recovery. They’re joined by the incredible Carlyle Jansen—a sex educator, registered psychotherapist, and founder of Good For Her, Toronto’s groundbreaking sexuality shop and workshop space. Carlyle is also the author of Sex Yourself and Anal Sex Basics, and she brings over two decades of experience helping individuals and couples reclaim pleasure, navigate intimacy, and communicate more effectively. Today, she helps us better understand how our sexual selves evolve in recovery, and how we can reconnect with our bodies and desires—without shame. Together, we'll explore questions many of us have: What happens to libido after quitting substances? How do we navigate physical connection when sober sex feels so unfamiliar? What do terms like “responsive desire” actually mean, and why do they matter in recovery? This conversation helps deconstruct cultural shame, normalize sexual differences, and guide the path back to pleasurable living. Carlyle offers practical techniques like mindfulness, post-intimacy debriefs, and body exploration exercises. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights [00:01:00] Meet Carlisle Jansen: therapist, author, and founder of Good For Her [00:03:00] Carlisle shares her first experiences with sex, shame, and trying to orgasm [00:04:30] How a bridal shower kickstarted her career in sex education [00:06:30] Why she opened a retail shop alongside her workshops [00:08:00] The impact of growing up in a sex-silent household [00:10:00] How family history and shame shaped her relationship with sexuality [00:12:00] From workshops to therapy: how her work evolved [00:15:00] The most common issue in her practice: mismatched libidos [00:16:30] What changes sexually during addiction recovery [00:18:00] What is sexual anorexia? And how is it different from sexual numbness? [00:20:00] Trauma’s impact on sexual function and emotional availability [00:21:30] Internal Family Systems (IFS) and the parts that show up during sex [00:23:00] Why partners need to “start over” after sobriety [00:25:30] How to rebuild trust and emotional safety during physical intimacy [00:27:30] Navigating unpleasant emotions and sexual discomfort [00:29:30] How to rethink consent and boundaries post-recovery [00:31:30] Why kissing should not be a gateway to sex—and how to communicate about it [00:34:00] Debriefing after intimacy: how to reflect and stay connected [00:36:00] How to approach sober dating with clarity and boundaries [00:40:00] The role of masturbation in recovery and reconnection [00:44:00] Sex addiction, love addiction, and how to tell if it’s compulsive or just shame [00:47:00] Why we seek validation through relationships—and how to unlearn it [00:49:00] Tips to maintain long-term sexual connection with a partner [00:52:00] Spontaneous vs. responsive desire—and how to honor your sexual blueprint [00:55:00] Pressure kills arousal: why expectation ruins the moment [01:01:00] Expanding what sex means: intimacy without intercourse [01:03:00] Closing thoughts and how to keep showing up for your evolving self Carlyle's Links Links: carlylejansen.com TEDx talk: https://youtu.be/12d2o8e9cSU?si=3DcVS-4uiexd4cdC SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

What if the key to resilience isn’t eliminating stress—but embracing the right kind of it? This week on Sisters in Sobriety, we take on the fascinating world of cellular health, good stress, and regenerative wellness with Dr. Sharon Bergquist—a Harvard-trained physician, Yale biophysics grad, and pioneering force behind Emory’s Lifestyle Medicine and Wellness program. Dr. Bergquist is the author of the upcoming book The Stress Paradox, which challenges everything you thought you knew about aging, health, and how to build a body that thrives. In this conversation, we'll explore essential questions: What makes some stress beneficial—and how can we harness it without burning out? Why does modern comfort leave us more fragile, and how does plant-powered eating reshape the trajectory of chronic disease? They also explore what lifestyle medicine actually is, and how behavior change works from the inside out—at the cellular level. You'll come away with actionable insight into how to reframe stress, build long-term resilience, and slow aging with everyday tools like circadian fasting, thermal therapy, interval training, and plant-based nutrition. Dr. Bergquist explains the science behind dopamine recovery in sobriety, the myth of needing to do it all at once, and why stacking "good stress" needs to be a gentle. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Episode Highlights 00:01 – Why Dr. Bergquist fell in love with the human body 03:20 – How seeing long-term patient outcomes changed her approach 05:15 – Why standard medical care misses the root cause of disease 07:10 – The five “good stressors” that help your cells regenerate 09:50 – The difference between toxic stress and beneficial stress 12:30 – Why numbing stress with alcohol creates a dopamine deficit 14:40 – How good stress like cold exposure gives you dopamine without burnout 17:20 – Over-optimizing for comfort—and how that backfires 19:00 – Pick your discomfort: cold, heat, exercise, or emotional growth 21:15 – What stress actually does to your brain and cells 24:45 – What we’ve lost in the modern world (hint: it’s not just screen time) 26:30 – Why we must reintroduce discomfort strategically 28:00 – The link between resilience and meaning 30:30 – Can you stack stress? Not in early sobriety 33:20 – Why sobriety itself is already a stressor—and that’s OK 35:10 – When and how to add other good habits without overwhelming yourself 37:50 – The science behind a plant-powered diet 40:15 – Why it's not “plants vs meat”—and the real stats on fiber and phytochemicals 43:00 – How to start eating plant-forward without going broke or gourmet 45:10 – The secret sauce (literally) that makes veggies taste good 48:05 – Debunking the protein panic: what research really says 52:00 – Why labels like “vegan” or “carnivore” miss the point 54:30 – The real takeaway: 1 in 10 Americans get enough fruits and veggies 56:00 – What Dr. Bergquist is building at Emory—and her vision for health systems 59:00 – Making lifestyle medicine mainstream and accessible Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

We're diving into part two of my sober dating diary—a real-life story that involves a cute date, an unexpected trip to a cannabis shop, and a bath bomb that turned into a major wake-up call. Dating after divorce is awkward enough. But when you're sober—and your date casually suggests a relaxing soak in a "CBD" bath—you learn pretty quickly who respects your boundaries and who treats your sobriety like a buzzkill. I also share: The truth about "California sober" and why it doesn't work for me How people-pleasing and old patterns can sneak back in, even after years of sobriety Why I walked away and what it taught me about owning my sobriety, unapologetically This story is for anyone who's ever compromised a little too much to seem “chill,” or needed a reminder that you're allowed to have boundaries—and you're allowed to walk away when someone crosses them. ✨ Your sobriety isn’t just “okay”—it’s powerful, it’s valid, and it deserves to be honored. 🔔 Like, comment, and subscribe for more stories from the sober dating trenches, plus tips, real talk, and radical honesty every week. 📬 Want more? Head to sistersinsobriety.substack.com for behind-the-scenes content, journal prompts, and community support. Highlights [00:00] First dates after divorce—applying mascara for the first time in years and meeting someone who doesn’t drink [01:10] When a park stroll turns into a casual detour to a cannabis shop (um, red flag?) [01:55] What “California sober” really means—and why it’s not part of my recovery [02:50] The power of “playing the tape forward” and how it helps me avoid old traps [04:00] He says it’s just a CBD bath bomb. I ask (repeatedly) if it has THC. He says no. [05:10] Ten minutes into the tub and I’m feeling like a human gummy bear [06:00] The bold print truth: Delta-8 THC. And a sinking feeling—literally. [06:45] Why I ignored my instincts to be the “cool girl”—and what it cost me [07:45] The moment I knew I’d never see him again (and why that mattered) [08:20] Sober dating isn’t just about tolerance—it’s about respect, celebration, and self-trust Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

This week on Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen turn the tables on their popular mini-series about sober dating, sex, and relationships. After hearing from past guests on what dating without alcohol looks like, the sisters are sitting down to answer the same ten questions themselves. From green flags and red flags to playlist picks and sober date ideas, they’re bringing personal reflections, and honest takes. How do you navigate dating someone who drinks when you don’t? What’s the go-to answer when someone asks why you’re not drinking? And how do you build connection without the lubrication of alcohol? Sonia and Kathleen unpack the real-life challenges and unexpected joys of dating while sober. Find out why communication and emotional regulation are the new sexy, how to set boundaries around alcohol in relationships, and how to create connection without compromising sobriety. The episode also explores cultural norms around drinking, coping strategies for first sober dates, and what "choosing each other" really means in long-term partnerships. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Episode Highlights [00:01:10] Sonia’s power washer as a symbol of freedom post-divorce [00:02:30] Setting the scene for the mini-series wrap-up: 10 questions revisited [00:04:00] Kathleen's first sober date: a nuanced look at alcohol vs. drug sobriety [00:05:45] Dating someone who drinks—how Kathleen navigated early discomfort [00:07:15] Caitlin’s story: being 90 days sober and her date ordering her favorite drink [00:08:45] NA beer and whether it fits into Sonia’s sober lifestyle [00:09:30] Food and body issues on early dates—what Ally Shapiro shared [00:10:25] What do you say when someone asks why you don’t drink? [00:11:15] The challenge of drinking cultures within a partner’s family [00:12:45] Green flags: emotional regulation, curiosity, and thoughtful check-ins [00:15:00] Red flags: love addiction, criticism, and white lies [00:17:50] Favorite sober date ideas: hiking, kayaking, concerts, and coffee [00:19:30] Advice for your first sober date: have a plan, tell someone, and stay present [00:21:00] How much drinking is too much in a partner? Setting comfort levels [00:22:15] Alcohol in the house—yes, no, or it depends? [00:23:15] Who do you call after a fight or a great first date? (Hint: it’s not always your sister) [00:24:30] The breakup playlist that kept them going—hello, Florence + the Machine [00:26:15] From "dicked down in Dallas" to Taylor Swift: the love life soundtrack [00:28:00] “I used to think love was a fairytale, now I know it’s a choice.” [00:30:15] Romantic love is conditional—and why that’s actually a good thing Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

In this episode, Sonia and Kathleen are joined by sisters Patti and Karin Clark for a conversation about breaking the cycle of intergenerational addiction and reclaiming personal identity. Patti is an award-winning author whose books blend emotional sobriety and self-reflection, and Karin is a counselor and educator with decades of experience in trauma and addiction recovery. Together, the sisters reflect on how their upbringing shaped them—and how recovery allowed them to rewrite their own stories. We talk about the roles we unconsciously play in dysfunctional families—hero, rebel, mascot—and how these survival strategies can carry into adulthood, often laying the groundwork for addiction, codependency, and emotional suppression. And we tackle some big questions: How do family dynamics influence substance use? Can breaking generational trauma actually stop the cycle? What happens to sisterhood when sobriety enters the room? Patti and Karin share personal stories of relapse and reconciliation, how their relationship as sisters evolved through recovery, and the beautiful ways their sobriety has rippled through their families. You'll hear about the grief and rage they had to walk through in order to reach forgiveness—not just for others, but for themselves. Their shared journey highlights what happens when we name the truth, do the work, and choose connection over silence. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights (Timestamps) [00:02:00] Patti shares a tribute to Karin’s steady presence after their mother’s death [00:03:45] Karin explains family roles and the origin of the “hero” label [00:05:00] Patti opens up about being the mascot and diffusing family tension with humor [00:07:45] A painful memory of being compared at the dinner table [00:08:30] Food as a first addiction and internalized shame [00:10:15] Karin outlines the family role model (hero, scapegoat, lost child, mascot) [00:11:00] Both sisters share how their roles shifted over time [00:13:30] Roundtable discussion: Which family role is most prone to addiction? [00:15:00] The hidden addiction behaviors that often go overlooked [00:17:30] Patti and Karin reflect on their first experiences with substances [00:20:00] Karin recalls when drinking shifted from fun to fear [00:22:00] Patti describes the subtle but powerful interventions that helped her quit [00:26:00] Tracing addiction and denial through both sides of the family tree [00:29:00] The myth of the “poor Patty and Karen” narrative within the family [00:30:15] How their sisterhood changed through recovery and ACOA work [00:33:30] Relapsing, boundaries, codependency, and coming back together [00:36:30] Karin and Patti explain the emotional dynamics of their old arguments [00:39:00] The cultural addiction of capitalism and constant productivity [00:41:30] When relapse happens: fear, enabling, and permission [00:44:00] “Safe drinking” lies we tell ourselves in the gray area [00:46:00] Did we break the cycle? Parenting, legacy, and sober modeling [00:49:00] Creating a new lineage of openness, healing, and choice [00:51:30] What does forgiveness really look like in recovery? [00:53:00] Patti explains the danger of skipping grief and going straight to forgiveness [00:54:30] Karin shares how compassion helped her process resentment [00:56:00] Forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation [00:57:30] Closing reflections on sisterhood, healing, and sharing the tools Connect with Patti Clark Website: www.patticlark.org Substack: https://patticlarkwriter.substack.com/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfahpJhfHNNHUqtIjR39OdQ Connect with Karin Clark Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KarinClarkCommunications Website: www.karineclark.com Email: info@karineclark.com SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

What if the wisdom you’re searching for has been with you all along? In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen are joined by master transformational coach Julie Reisler to explore the quiet, powerful force of intuition—and how it can guide your recovery, self-trust, and authentic living. Julie is a TEDx speaker, host of the You-est You® Podcast, and founder of the Life Designer® Coach Academy. Julie helps people around the world reconnect with their higher self. What does it really means to become the You-est You? Why do so many of us feel disconnected from our intuition—and how do we begin to rebuild that trust, especially after life changes like divorce, addiction recovery, or hitting emotional rock bottom? Julie walks listeners through the difference between fear and intuitive guidance, how we can all access our unique “intuition language,” and the power of two-way prayer, evidence tracking, and journaling as tools for emotional healing. With practical tools and real-life examples, this conversation unpacks how to integrate mind-body-spirit wisdom, how intuition supports recovery from addictive patterns (like emotional eating), and how to make decisions that align with your true self—especially when logic tells you otherwise. Julie opens up about her own story—from childhood sensitivity and food addiction to spiritual awakening and leaving a stable corporate job to follow her inner voice. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tools, and resources to support your growth. Time-Stamped Highlights 00:01 – Meet Julie Reisler and learn about the You-est You® philosophy 00:02 – Julie’s childhood: sensitivity, imagination, and early intuition 00:04 – Growing up with a father in addiction and how that shaped her energy awareness 00:05 – The early signs of self-loathing and disconnect from intuition 00:06 – Her recovery journey begins with sugar and food addiction 00:08 – How food became a way to soothe emotions and hide shame 00:10 – The pivotal moment that changed everything (and the bag of M&Ms) 00:12 – Julie’s exposure to 12-step programs as a child 00:14 – How Overeaters Anonymous and spiritual reading reshaped her path 00:16 – Returning to school and integrating science and spirituality 00:18 – Leaving corporate life and entering Panera Bread: a surprising intuitive detour 00:21 – Following the nudges: voiceover classes and synchronicity 00:23 – The cost of disconnecting from your voice in marriage and dating 00:27 – Defining intuition: is it a voice, a knowing, or a feeling? 00:30 – How to tell the difference between fear, anxiety, and real intuition 00:33 – Building self-trust through two-way prayer and intuitive journaling 00:36 – Evidence tracking: gathering proof that your intuition has been guiding you 00:39 – When intuition contradicts logic (and why that’s OK) 00:41 – Asking for signs and using muscle testing to check your inner YES 00:44 – A real-time example of intuition: how Julie ended up at a film festival 00:45 – What to do when your intuitive knowing disrupts your plans 00:46 – Julie’s heartfelt advice for women in transition 00:47 – The megaphone to your heart—why everything you’re looking for is already within Links: Website: juliereisler.com Instagram: @juliereisler More from Sisters in Sobriety: 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

This week on Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen are diving deep into the wild world of dating—minus the drinks. They're joined by Carleigh Ferrante, host of the Mostly Dating podcast. Carleigh talks about what it really means to date with intention, honesty, and clarity—especially when you're sober. From starting over after a long-term relationship to swiping through the chaos of dating apps, they're talking about it. Together, they explore how to spot emotional availability, navigate red flags, and decode whether your new connection is fueled by real chemistry. They ask big questions like: Can attraction grow? How can you tell if someone’s emotionally mature or just really charming? How long should you “get to know” someone before deciding to be exclusive? And what does flirting even look like when you’re sober? You'll walk away with tangible, empowering insights like how to start meaningful conversations on dating apps, how to plan sober-friendly first dates, and how to protect your peace when things don’t go as planned. Carleigh shares practical tips for setting physical and emotional boundaries, flirting without alcohol, and recognizing when someone just isn’t your person—even if nothing seems “wrong.” You'll also learn how to gauge emotional maturity versus availability and the importance of aligned values in long-term compatibility. On a personal note, Sonia and Kathleen open up about their own dating experiences and reflect on what it felt like to date sober for the first time, and how vulnerability, awkwardness, and self-awareness reshaped their views on intimacy and connection. Carleigh adds her own behind-the-scenes stories from dating app disasters to moments of surprising self-growth. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Time-stamped Highlights [00:01:00] Carleigh Ferrante joins the show to talk all things dating [00:02:00] Sonia and Kathleen share their contrasting Bumble experiences [00:04:00] Carleigh’s go-to formula for dating app openers that actually work [00:05:00] First date ideas for sober daters that don’t involve bars [00:06:30] Where to meet people in the wild (yes, even at the Garden Center) [00:08:00] Why small talk with strangers helps your dating life [00:10:00] Sonia’s AA house call—and why she prefers women’s recovery groups [00:11:00] What to ask early on to gauge someone’s dating mindset [00:13:00] How to talk about your ex without trauma-dumping [00:16:00] Should you discuss your values on a first date? Here’s how [00:18:00] Can attraction grow—or does it have to be instant? [00:21:00] Why ‘secure’ might feel boring if you’re used to chaos [00:23:30] Emotional availability: what it looks like and how to spot it [00:25:00] The difference between emotional maturity and availability [00:27:30] Sonia’s boyfriend used to sing through hard conversations—literally [00:29:00] How to talk about the future without scaring someone off [00:31:00] Why the “getting to know you” phase should never really end [00:33:00] Dating rules vs. personal boundaries—what really matters [00:36:30] Love bombing vs. real connection: how to tell the difference [00:39:00] How dating changes when you're sober—and why that's a good thing [00:41:00] Sober dating and physical boundaries: what becomes clearer [00:43:00] Flirting without alcohol: presence, confidence, and compliments [00:47:00] How Kathleen dated for fun—and why that mindset worked [00:48:00] How to protect your peace when someone ghosts you [00:50:00] Your person won’t leave you on read—trust that [00:51:00] Signs it’s not right, even if it’s not “wrong” [00:53:00] Carleigh’s new course and how to find her content Links Carleigh's Instagram 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

Is it really just emotional eating—or could it be addiction? In this week’s episode of Sisters in Sobriety, we speak with renowned expert Dr. Vera Tarman to unravel the science, psychology, and stigma surrounding sugar and flour addiction, and how we can truly recover. As the Medical Director of Renascent, one of Canada’s largest substance abuse treatment centres, Dr. Tarman brings a wealth of clinical insight—plus her own recovery from both alcohol and food addiction. She is the author of Food Junkies: Recovery from Food Addiction and cohost of the Food Junkies Podcast. What’s the real connection between alcohol and sugar? Why do so many people transfer their addictions to food when they get sober? And what do terms like “intuitive eating,” “emotional eating,” and “abstinence” actually mean in the context of recovery? Dr. Tarman also breaks down the difference between emotional eating and food addiction, outlines what recovery from food addiction really requires, and offers practical insight into why abstinence—not just moderation—is the key for many. Expect to learn about the dopamine pathways, the food-addiction spectrum, the role of ultra-processed foods, and the concept of “food serenity.” Finally, Dr. Tarman shares her deeply personal story— her own early experiences with alcohol and marijuana, and how she navigated her own recovery from binge eating and bulimia while practicing as a doctor. Her journey is vulnerable, relatable, and a reminder that healing is possible—even when it’s not linear. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Time-stamped Highlights 00:00 – Welcome and guest intro: Dr. Vera Tarman, addiction medicine expert and author 01:55 – Her first addiction: sugar or alcohol? 03:30 – Growing up with an alcoholic mother 04:45 – Alcohol and academic life: why she quit in med school 05:50 – Binge eating, bulimia, and how food replaced alcohol 07:00 – “You should stop drinking”—saying it to patients, but not herself 09:00 – Her “aha” moment: reading the first studies on food addiction 10:20 – How food and alcohol affect the brain’s dopamine reward system 12:45 – Is sugar addiction common in people getting sober? 15:10 – Sugar and alcohol as “sisters”—and the medical consequences 17:00 – Liver disease and non-alcoholic fatty liver: the sugar connection 19:10 – Emotional eating vs. food addiction—what’s the difference? 22:30 – Why intuitive eating may not work for everyone 27:00 – Recovery and abstinence: what does it look like? 31:45 – Is it about added sugar or natural sugar? 34:10 – Can moderation work—or do some people need full abstinence? 36:30 – What counts as a relapse with food? 39:00 – Social pressure, stigma, and birthday cake 41:00 – Why sugar is so powerful (and hard to quit) 43:00 – Recovery essentials: more than just stopping 45:10 – Individualized food plans: what worked for Dr. Tarman 47:00 – OA and the growing food addiction recovery landscape 50:00 – Finding support: why community matters 51:20 – Building food serenity and daily recovery habits 53:00 – Her message of hope: it gets easier after 10 days 55:00 – “Day 4 of my reset”—Kathleen shares her moment Dr. Vera Tarman’s Links 🌐 Website: https://www.addictionsunplugged.com 📘 Facebook Group: I’m Sweet Enough: Sugar-Free for Life Sisters In Sobriety Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Read less Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

Have you ever stared at your phone wondering where all the emotionally available adults are? In today’s episode of Sisters in Sobriety, we have Daphney Poyser, the founder and CEO of Fern Connections—a values-driven, LGBTQIA+ and ally-inclusive matchmaking and dating coaching company. Daphney’s mission is help people date with intention and build meaningful relationships rooted in authenticity. Today, she’s here to help us navigate dating—especially while sober—with more clarity and confidence. We dig into the real-life challenges of dating in recovery, touching on everything from emotional prep work to the myths we carry from childhood about what love should look like. What does compatibility really mean? Is it okay to have expectations? And what does it mean to “selfishly date”—and why is that a good thing? You'll s will walk away with tools for building more conscious relationships—whether you’re using a dating app, working with a matchmaker, or stepping out into the sober dating world for the first time. You’ll also hear Daphney’s personal story—how becoming a widow in 2019 led her to pivot out of corporate America and into founding Fern Connections, a service inspired in part by her queer daughter and family members. Daphney shares her own journey of finding love again later in life, learning to set boundaries, and building a business that centers care, consent, and clarity. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Episode Highlights 00:02 – Meet Daphney Poyser, and how losing her husband led her to start a matchmaking company 00:04 – Why Fern Connections was created to serve the LGBTQIA+ and ally community 00:07 – Discussing sober dating and what it means to show up without numbing 00:09 – Why you shouldn’t have to dull yourself to go on a date 00:10 – The importance of emotional safety and matching clients with aligned values 00:12 – What to do when someone says they’re fine with sobriety—but turns out they’re not 00:14 – Why women should be “selfish daters” and not worry about being the “good guy” 00:16 – How to emotionally prepare for dating after long-term relationships 00:18 – Pre- and post-date journaling as a mindfulness tool 00:20 – The myth of “no expectations” and why love should be conditional 00:22 – Relationship contracts and writing down what really matters 00:24 – How childhood messages shape what we believe about marriage 00:27 – Helping clients unpack their unrealistic dating checklists 00:30 – The problem with assuming no one’s “good enough” 00:33 – Chemistry vs. compatibility—and why the spark might not mean what you think 00:35 – How unresolved trauma influences what feels familiar in dating 00:38 – Oversharing on first dates: why less is sometimes more 00:41 – Confidence rituals before dates and the power of listening 00:43 – What qualities Daphney looks for when matching clients 00:47 – Dating apps: their impact on mental health and connection 00:51 – Tips for transitioning from online to in-person dating 00:54 – Red flags to watch for, including love bombing and mirroring 00:57 – Why peaceful love may feel boring—and why it’s often the real deal Guest Links 🌐 Daphney’s Website: fernconnections.com 📸 Daphney’s Instagram: @fernconnections Sisters In Sobriety Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

What if your sugar cravings, chronic fatigue, or lack of clarity weren’t just random symptoms—but signs of deeper imbalances that could be blocking your recovery? On this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia is joined by strategist, speaker, and sober advocate Christie Dames. With over 38 years of sobriety and a career helping high-performers unlock their potential, Christie shares how her lived experience and research intersect to shed light on the brain-body connection. Today, they talk about why what you eat—and what surrounds you—matters deeply when it comes to emotional clarity, energy, and healing. How does what we eat impact our emotional sobriety? What’s the role of metabolic health in our ability to regulate mood and access clarity? And how do toxins—whether in food, electronics, or water—quietly sabotage our healing efforts? Listeners will learn about the connection between mitochondrial health and long-term sobriety, how refined sugars and processed foods derail emotional regulation, and the invisible toll environmental toxins like PFAS and EMFs take on our well-being. Christie also shares practical tools for lowering your toxic load—think organic swaps, safer tech habits, and why red light bulbs might become your new best friend. And yes, as always, we go there—into the personal stories. Christie opens up about her own path to sobriety, including her recovery from misdiagnosis, withdrawal from neuroleptic medication, and the chronic pain that shaped her understanding of emotional vs. physical hunger. From healing trauma to navigating relapse triggers, she helps us see our cravings not as flaws but as clues. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Episode Highlights: 00:01:00 — Christie introduces the idea that sugar cravings can block emotional sobriety 00:02:30 — The physical trauma that set the stage for addiction 00:03:45 — Why alcohol felt like an elixir for Christie’s fractured sense of self 00:04:55 — Mold exposure and neurological misdiagnosis compound her health issues 00:06:45 — The impact of neuroleptic drugs and a 10-year brownout 00:07:50 — Getting sober—despite still being medicated 00:08:30 — Sugar as her first addiction, and how it worked on her undernourished brain 00:10:15 — Giving up sugar: was it harder than alcohol? 00:12:45 — Why metabolic health is the key to “next-level” sobriety 00:14:20 — Understanding insulin resistance and fasting insulin 00:16:00 — What to eat: whole foods, organic, and the truth about strawberries 00:18:45 — Toxins in baby cord blood and how they impact future health 00:21:15 — Dairy and gluten: are they just food, or emotional disrupters? 00:23:00 — Why A2 dairy and goat’s milk might be different 00:25:30 — How trauma and toxicity contribute to neuroinflammation 00:27:10 — The four-day delayed reaction to food and what to watch for 00:29:00 — Emotional vs. physical hunger: how to tell the difference 00:32:50 — Learning to pause before reacting or reaching for food 00:35:00 — How shame spirals can begin with food choices 00:37:20 — Working with high performers: unlocking their hidden blocks 00:40:00 — Using intuition, presence, and somatic tools with clients 00:42:00 — PFAS: the “forever chemicals” and why they’re a major health threat 00:44:30 — EMFs and why cell phones and WiFi matter more than you think 00:46:00 — Sobriety makes you more sensitive—embrace it 00:48:10 — Creating a low-tox lifestyle that supports brain health and longevity 00:50:00 — Hacks: red lights, blue blockers, and neuro-restorative sleep habits 00:51:30 — Christie’s favorite ways to lower your toxic burden 00:52:00 — Where to connect with Christie (christiedames@protonmail.com) Links 📧 Christie’s Email Sisters In Sobriety Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, we’re back with another installment of our no-filter mini-series where past guests answer 10 revealing questions about what it’s really like to date without alcohol in the picture. This time, Sonia chats with Kaitlin Henry, wellness advocate and host of the Step Zero podcast. Kaitlin busts the myth that you have to hit rock bottom before you can change—and now, she’s opening up about love after divorce, how getting sober changed her approach to relationships, and why acts of service are her love language. From awkward first sober dates to realizing that two-drink limits are non-negotiable, Kaitlin shares the red and green flags she looks for, the playlist track that sums up her love life, and her favorite sober date idea (hint: it involves a boat and no wine list). Get ready for some serious honesty, relatable stories, and a few laugh-out-loud moments. Whether you're newly sober, sober curious, or just navigating dating without defaulting to “grabbing drinks,” this one's for you. Kaitlin's Links Get In Touch With Kaitlin Her go-to song by Gracie Abrams Sisters In Sobriety Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Read less Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

This week on Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen are taking on one of the trickiest parts of recovery: what happens at home. Their guest, Amber Hollingsworth, is a licensed professional counselor, family recovery expert, and the brain behind the YouTube channel Put the Shovel Down. With over 20 years of experience, she helps families deal with the chaos of addiction—without burning themselves out in the process. If you’ve ever tried to help a loved one and ended up feeling like the bad guy (or totally powerless), this conversation is going to hit close to home. Amber explains why the old-school intervention model often backfires, how shame and blame keep people stuck, and why the people closest to someone struggling with addiction often have more influence than they think. There’s a better way—and Amber walks us through it. From her “Invisible Intervention” method to a strength-based approach that helps people reconnect with their values, she shares real tools that actually work. You'll hear how she encourages people to stop focusing on what’s going wrong and start noticing what’s still right—and how families can become part of the solution without getting dragged down by the drama. Sonia and Kathleen also open up about their own experiences trying (and failing) to stage an intervention, what they’d do differently now, and why it's so hard to step out of the “rescuer” role when someone you love is hurting. It’s raw, it’s real, and honestly—it’s the kind of conversation that makes you rethink everything you thought you knew about helping someone get better. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights (Time-Stamped): 00:01:00 – How Amber got into addiction counseling (hint: not the usual story) 00:02:30 – Growing up surrounded by addiction, and not realizing it until much later 00:04:45 – Why she started Put the Shovel Down and how it became a mission 00:05:55 – Why families often have more power than they think 00:06:40 – Creating a team approach: everyone gets their own support 00:08:20 – Why one-sided therapy can sometimes make things worse 00:10:30 – Everyone has their version of the story—and why that matters 00:12:00 – The most common way families accidentally slow down recovery 00:13:30 – When traditional interventions help—and when they totally miss the mark 00:15:00 – The bargaining stage (and why no one gets to skip it) 00:17:00 – Words that trigger defensiveness—and what to say instead 00:19:00 – What went wrong in Sonia and Kathleen’s attempt to help a family member 00:21:30 – The Invisible Intervention method explained step by step 00:23:00 – Building credit and influence with your loved one 00:25:00 – Natural consequences vs. punishment: why the difference matters 00:27:30 – What really helps someone see the problem for themselves 00:30:00 – Strength-based coaching: how Amber helps people reconnect with who they are 00:32:45 – Why it’s not about calling people out—it’s about calling them back to themselves 00:34:20 – Common values people rediscover when they stop drinking 00:36:30 – How to acknowledge addiction without crushing someone with shame 00:38:10 – Why so many middle-aged women defend their nightly wine 00:41:00 – How alcohol becomes the stand-in for self-care 00:42:00 – What to say to someone who doesn’t “seem” like they have a problem 00:43:30 – Why trying moderation might actually help you quit 00:45:00 – Navigating early sobriety when everyone around you is still drinking 00:46:00 – Final takeaway: You’re not powerless—and you don’t have to lose yourself trying to help someone else Amber's Links YouTube Instagram Sisters In Sobriety Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website – Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📲 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

In this special mini-episode of our spicy new series: The Truth About Sober Dating, Sex, and Love, we have Whitney Combs. A nationally board-certified health and wellness coach, wife, and mom of three. Whitney opens up about rediscovering intimacy without alcohol, why honesty became her ultimate non-negotiable, and how she chooses restaurants based solely on dessert and mocktails (relatable). Oh—and she’s got a concert horror story you won’t forget. If you’ve ever wondered how to navigate sober sex, sober dating apps, or what to say when someone asks, “Why don’t you drink?”—this episode is for you. Whitney’s Links • 🌐 Whitney’s Website • 📲 Whitney on Instagram • 🎵 “If We Were Vampires” – Jason Isbell Sisters in Sobriety Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website – Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📲 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

Navigating family dynamics can be one of the hardest parts of recovery—especially when the relationships we’re told are “unbreakable” feel anything but safe. In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen are joined by Dr. Sharon Martin, psychotherapist and author of Cutting Ties with Your Parents and The Better Boundaries Workbook. With over 25 years of experience, Dr. Martin helps us unpack what it really means to set boundaries with family, the complexities of estrangement, and how these issues often resurface in sobriety. Together, we explore some big questions: How do you know when it’s time to go no-contact with a parent or family member? What’s the difference between estrangement and avoidance? How do you deal with the guilt, grief, and judgment that come up when you make that choice? And how do old family wounds start to resurface once we get sober? From emotional manipulation to the pressure to reconcile, we talk through the many layers that come with stepping away from dysfunction. Dr. Martin offers practical tools and insights for healing—whether you’ve already gone no-contact or are just beginning to question what’s healthy for you. We talk about building self-trust through small, everyday actions, reparenting yourself when you never got what you needed growing up, and what it looks like to maintain sobriety while navigating painful family dynamics. You'll also learn why grief can show up even when you never had the kind of relationship you're mourning. This episode is also deeply personal. Sonia opens up about grieving the mother-daughter connection she never experienced, and Kathleen shares what it feels like to question whether estrangement is truly healing or just a form of self-protection. It’s a thoughtful, honest, and empowering conversation—especially for anyone trying to make peace with their past while protecting their present. 20 TIME-STAMPED HIGHLIGHTS [00:01:00] Meet Dr. Sharon Martin and how she found this work [00:03:00] Growing up with alcoholism and how it shaped her path [00:05:00] Why trauma always finds its way into therapy [00:06:30] When a family relationship stops feeling emotionally safe [00:08:45] Estrangement isn’t a rash decision—it’s the last resort [00:10:30] Facing guilt, judgment, and societal pressure [00:12:00] Why other people’s opinions don’t always reflect reality [00:14:30] How emotional manipulation becomes normalized [00:17:30] What healthy estrangement can actually look like [00:20:00] When reconciliation is worth considering—and when it’s not [00:22:00] Why false hope and outside pressure often backfire [00:23:30] Navigating milestone events like weddings and funerals [00:25:30] Estrangement vs. avoidance—how to tell the difference [00:29:00] Grieving the family fantasy you never had [00:31:00] Why complicated grief around family is valid [00:34:00] The importance of processing feelings through movement and expression [00:35:30] Keeping your sobriety solid while navigating emotional landmines [00:37:00] Emotional wounds adult children of dysfunction carry [00:40:00] Rebuilding self-worth through small, doable commitments [00:44:00] Why early sobriety can bring childhood trauma to the surface This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Head to our Substack for extra tools, reflections, and mocktail recipes to support your journey. Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website – Kathleen does not endorse products mentioned 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Connect with Dr. Sharon Martin 📘 Cutting Ties with Your Parents – Amazon 📘 The Better Boundaries Guided Journal – Amazon 🌐 LiveWellWithSharonMartin.com 📸 Instagram 📘 Facebook 📺 YouTube Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations

In this special mini-episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen invite you to slow down for a few minutes and take an honest look at how codependency may be showing up in your life. This isn’t a diagnosis or a formal assessment—just a chance to reflect with a simple, 10-question quiz that’s designed to spark insight and self-awareness. ☁️ In this candid conversation, we ask: Do you often feel responsible for others’ emotions? Are you suppressing your needs to avoid conflict? Is it easier to give care than receive it? 💬 After the quiz, Sonia and Kathleen open up about how codependency has impacted their own relationships—from family dynamics to marriage—and how awareness has helped them move toward healthier boundaries and interdependence. 🎓 You’ll learn: What codependent patterns can look like in everyday life Why "fixing" others often leads to self-neglect How childhood dynamics can shape adult relationships Tools for recognizing when you're stepping into over-functioning mode 👀 If you’ve ever found yourself walking on eggshells, ignoring your own needs, or feeling responsible for someone else’s emotional state, this episode is for you. 📝 Want to revisit the quiz later or share it with a friend? It’s available on our Substack—along with tons of supportive content, reflections, and resources to help you change your relationship with alcohol and deepen your self-awareness. If you’ve ever felt like you’re losing yourself in relationships—always giving, fixing, or putting others first, Kathleen has created The Path Back to You is a free guide with a self-reflection quiz, five simple practices, and journaling prompts to help you reconnect with your voice, your needs, and your boundaries.✨ Links Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sisters-in-sobriety/donations