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On this episode that originally aired Jan 14, 2019, I show Theo Von (This Past Weekend podcast) and Andrew Santino (Whiskey Ginger podcast) how to make Fry Bread Tacos.
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From the Season 1 vault...Dave Attell & Gave Gottfried watch me make fish & chips. Season 1 is coming BACK every other Tuesday with NEW episodes the other weeks.
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From the season 1 vault, Sean Patton and Ari Shaffir stop by and I make them Sean’s Uncle Terry’s famous jambalaya. Ari and Sean also brought their own ingredients – some Cajun seasoning and…blood pudding?
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1. HURRICANES
Ingredients:
Light Rum
Dark Rum
Fressh Lime Juice
Orange Juice
Passion Fruit Juice
Simple Syrup
Grenadine
2. JAMBALAYA
Ingredients:
Salt
Granulated Garlic
Crushed Red Pepper
Dried Thyme
Chopped Celery
Onion
Bell Pepper
Hot Sausage
Smoked Sausage
Chicken Breast
Crushed Tomatoes
Chicken Stock
Rice
Shrimp; cleaned and deveined
Steps:
Heat oil in a large pot.
Add onions, bell peppers, celery, and all seasonings.
Cook and slice the hot sausage.
Add hot and smoked sausages, and chicken; cook for 10 min.
Add crushed tomatoes and chicken stock; bring to a boil.
Add rice and shrimp; covered and simmer.
Let stand until rice is cooked.
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From the vaults of Something's Burning, Sebastian Maniscalco and I go head to head in the burger cook off with celebrity guest judge, Roy Choi!
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If you missed us at Red Rocks last week, get your Dan Soder and Big Jay fix with this season one revisit when I made them Wawa-Inspired Apple Fritters.
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WAWA-INSPIRED FRITTERS
1. Fritters
INGREDIENTS:
Bread flour
Instant yeast
Granulated sugar
Fine sea salt
Whole milk, warmed
Pure vanilla extract
Large egg yolks
Unsalted butter, at room temperature
Sweet-tart baking apples, such as Honeycrisp or Pink Lady, peeled, cored, and cut into 1/2-inch chunks
Granulated sugar
Ground cinnamon
Vegetable oil, for frying
STEPS:
1. In a stand mixer with the paddle attachment, stir together the bread
flour, instant yeast, sugar, and sea salt.
2. Add warm milk, vanilla, and egg yolks; mix until smooth.
3. Add remaining flour and butter; mix until dough is soft and smooth.
4. Cover the bowl with plastic and let rise for an hour.
5. While it’s rising, melt unsalted butter in skillet
6. Add chopped apples; sprinkle with sugar, cinnamon, and sea salt.
7. Cook until tender and the liquid is a syrupy glaze (about 10 min)
8. Allow to cool completely.
9. Roll out dough to ½” thick
10. Spread apple mixture onto ½ the dough; fold over other half to cover
apples.
11. Cut the dough into ½” strips, then into ½” pieces in cross pattern
12. Scoop up the pieces and rearrange, cutting again in a cross pattern
13. Form dough into a 12” x 3” log; sprinkle with flour and slice into 12 pieces.
14. Coat baking sheet with flour; transfer fritters, smashing pieces of dough together and press into each one into a flat round.
15. Let them rise until puffy, about 20 min.
16.Fry in 2” of hot oil, about 2 min per side.
17. Remove and drain; allow to cool slightly before glazing
2. Glaze
INGREDIENTS:
Powdered sugar
Pure maple syrup
Pure vanilla extract
Warm water
STEPS:
1. Sift powdered sugar into a bowl.
2. Add maple syrup and vanilla; stir until smooth.
3. Add enough water to form a loose glaze.
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From the season 1 vault, I’m making my favorite pasta dish for Chris Distefano and Sal Vulcano. We’re also talking about spreading germs, Scotty Karate, and kissing each other on the lips.
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PASTA CARBONARA
INGREDIENTS:
Kosher Salt
Guanciale (or bacon)
Grated Pecorino Romano (or Parmesan)
Eggs + extra egg yolks
Black Pepper
EVOO
Bucatini, Spaghetti, or Rigantoni
STEPS:
Boil water with salt
Cut guanciale into strips
Whisk egg yolks and whole eggs; stir in grated cheese.
Season with pepper and set aside
Heat EVOO and cook guanciale in Dutch oven until crisp around the edges
Transfer to a bowl; reserve fat
Cook pasta until al dente
Drain; reserving cup of pasta water
Add guanciale fat and pasta water to Dutch oven; bring to a boil
Cook pasta about 2 min, stirring constantly
Whisk some pasta water into egg mixture; slowly stream into the Dutch oven, stirring constantly until cheese is melted and egg is thickened
Mix in guanciale.
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From the Something’s Burning vault – back when I was fat and so was Bobby Kelly. Plus, Michelle Wolf’s talking about her acid reflux, which is something Bobby and I know all about. We also dive into our thoughts about reading, our favorite foods, and I make Eggs Benedict on Cheesy Biscuits.
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CHEESY BISCUIT EGGS BENEDICTION
BISCUITS
INGREDIENTS:
Buttermilk
Sour Cream
AP Flour
Baking Powder
Baking Soda
Salt
Cold Butter
Shredded Cheddar Cheese
Sliced Scallions
STEPS:
1. Whisk together buttermilk and sour cream in a small bowl.
2. In the bowl of a food processor, combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt; process until blended.
3. Scatter cold butter patties evenly over the flour and pulse until the mixture resembles coarse meal
4. Transfer to a large bowl.
5. Add the buttermilk mixture to the flour mixture; fold until just combined.
6. Transfer the dough to a floured work surface; knead until it just comes together, adding extra flour as necessary.
7. Roll the dough into a 12” square; fold sides in to form a 4” square.
8. Press the square down and roll it out again into a 12” square.
9. Sprinkle cheddar cheese and sliced scallions over the dough square; fold into a 4” square again.
10. Roll the dough again into a 12” square.
11. Cut six 4” rounds out of the dough with a floured biscuit cutter.
12. Transfer to a parchment-lined baking sheet, spacing them about 1” apart.
13. Form the dough scraps into a ball; knead and repeat rolling process until big enough to get more biscuits.
14. Brush the tops of the biscuits with the melted butter; bake at 425° until golden brown and well risen, about 15 minutes, rotating the pan halfway through.
EGGS BENEDICT
INGREDIENTS:
unsalted butter
large eggs
egg yolks
fresh lemon juice
cayenne or hot paprika
Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper
white distilled vinegar
Kosher salt
English muffins
Canadian bacon
chopped chives
chopped dill, tarragon or parsley
STEPS:
1. Make the hollandaise:
* Melt unsalted butter in a small pot over medium heat until it’s foamy but not beginning to brown, 3 to 4 minutes.
* Place egg yolks and 2 teaspoons water in a blender.
* Start blending, and, working very slowly, add the hot, melted butter until it’s all incorporated.
* Add lemon juice and cayenne; season with salt and pepper.
* Transfer to a small bowl, and place plastic wrap directly on the surface so it doesn’t form a skin; set aside.
2. Poach the eggs
* Fill a medium pot with 3” of water.
* Add vinegar, season with salt and bring to a simmer
* Using the handle of a spoon, stir the water with a clockwise motion.
* Gently crack an egg into the center of the pot, letting the water swirl around it and allowing the white to envelop the yolk.
* Repeat with remaining eggs — you could probably do up to four at a time.
* Check the eggs after 4 minutes: Use a slotted spoon to lift an egg out of the water, and feel the white for firmness. If it's not quite done, slide it back in for another minute or so.
* Let cook until the whites are just set, but the yolks are still completely runny 4 to 5 minutes; let eggs drain on a towel-lined plate.
3. Cook ham in a medium skillet over medium-high heat until golden brown and just crisp at the edges, about 6 minutes.
4. Assemble the Benedicts.
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Donnell Rawlings and Red Grant are schoolin’ me on how to host a cooking show WHILE I’m cooking up Game Day snacks for them.
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MINI MONTE CRISTO SANDWICHES
INGREDIENTS:
* White sandwich bread
* Ham lunch meat
* Turkey lunch meat
* Sliced Swiss cheese
* Crisco
* Eggs
* Milk
* Krusteaz pancake mix
* Cinnamon
* Salt
* Powdered sugar
* Raspberry jelly
STEPS:
1. Remove crusts and flatten out bread with rolling pin.
2. Top with one slice ham, one slice turkey, and one slice swiss cheese
3. Roll sandwich to form a log; slice into 3 pieces
4. Put prepared sandwiches in the fridge to set up
5. Heat Crisco in big blue pot for deep frying.
6. Make the batter by whisking eggs and milk.
7. Add pancake mix, cinnamon, and salt to egg/milk mixture
8. Dip sandwiches into batter; deep fry until golden brown
9. Dust with powdered sugar and make the football laces using raspberry jelly
BUFFALO CHICKEN DIP
INGREDIENTS:
* Butter
* Shredded chicken
* Frank’s Red Hot
* Lemon juice
* Sour cream
* Cream cheese
* Shredded white cheddar cheese
* Blue Cheese
* Chives
STEPS:
1. In a cast-iron skillet, melt butter over medium-high heat.
2. Add shredded chicken and Frank’s Red Hot; simmer until the sauce has reduced by half, 2 to 3 minutes.
3. Turn off the heat; stir in lemon juice, sour cream and cream cheese until combined.
4. Sprinkle shredded White Cheddar Cheese over the top.
5. Bake at 375° until bubbling around the edges and the cheese has melted, about 10 minutes.
6. Immediately garnish with ¼ cup blue cheese and chopped chives.
SCOTCH EGGS
INGREDIENTS:
* Eggs
* Flour
* Crushed corn flakes
* Ground sausage
* Salt and pepper
* Mustard
STEPS:
1. Place eggs in a small saucepan; add cold water to cover.
2. Bring to a boil; remove from heat, cover, and let stand for 3 minutes.
3. Carefully drain, then fill pan with ice water to cool eggs
4. Gently crack shells and carefully peel
5. Place eggs in a bowl of cold water; cover and chill until cold.
6. Place flour in a wide shallow bowl and crushed corn flakes in another wide shallow bowl.
7. Form sausage into thin patties
8. Lay 1 soft-boiled egg on top of sausage and wrap sausage around egg, sealing to completely enclose.
9. Repeat with remaining sausage and eggs.
10. Whisk eggs in a medium bowl to make egg wash.
11. Dip sausage-wrapped egg into flour, shaking off excess, then coat in egg wash.
12. Roll in corn flakes to coat.
13. Heat oil to 375° in a large heavy pot
14. Fry eggs, turning occasionally and maintaining oil temperature of 350°, until sausage is cooked through and breading is golden brown and crisp, 5–6 minutes.
15. Use a slotted spoon to transfer to paper towels to drain; season lightly with salt and pepper.
16. Serve warm with mustard.
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Subscribe to Shane Torres’ YouTube page to watch his new special “The Blue Eyed Mexican” premiering December 10th at 4PM PST: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYqBZNLk2Vf-ErSOb_sqMew?sub_confirmation=1
Colin Quinn and Nick Di Paolo not-so-patiently watch as I cook them Chicken Parm Sandwiches in this season 1 flashback. We also talk about how the industry is changing and Colin’s hatred of cheese.
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Subscribe to the new Something's Burning podcast page
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CHICKEN PARMESAN SANDWICHES
INGREDIENTS:
* Boneless, skinless chicken breasts
* AP flour
* Large eggs
* Panko breadcrumbs
* Kosher salt
* Black pepper
* Olive oil
* Tomato sauce (store-bought or homemade)
* Grated parmesan
* Sliced provolone
* Baguettes
STEPS:
1. Put chicken breasts between 2 pieces of parchment and pound down with a mallet until about ¼” thick.
2. In separate bowls, set up a dredging station:
* Flour in one bowl
* Beaten eggs in one bowl
* Panko breadcrumbs in one bowl
3. Season chicken with salt and pepper.
4. Dip chicken into flour, then eggs, and finally coat with panko; set aside.
5. Repeat until all the chicken is coated.
6. Heat oil in large skillet; fry chicken in batches, turning halfway until golden brown.
7. Transfer to a paper-towel lined plate to drain excess oil.
8. Slice open baguettes and place on baking tray.
9. Layer chicken on bottom slice, then sliced provolone.
10. Bake at 350° until the cheese is melted on top
11. Ladle pre-heated tomato sauce on top
12. Top with bread and slice in half.
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It’s a jolly holiday with Gareth Reynold and Sam Tripoli as we drink egg nog and make soyrizo waffles in this Something’s Burning season one throwback.
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On this blast from the past episode, I sit down with my wife and Wheeler Walker Jr for some Nashville Hot fried chicken, homemade coleslaw, and what happens when you cook with hot sauce, don’t wash your hands, and then get down and dirty. Spoiler Alert - it’s not pretty.
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NASHVILLE FRIED CHICKEN and PICKLEBACK COLESLAW
INGREDIENTS:
Pickleback Coleslaw
Cabbage
Apples
Shredded carrots
Mayo
Pickle juice
Dijon
Cider Vinegar
Louisiana Hot Sauce
Salt and Pepper
COLESLAW
STEPS:
Cut the cabbages into quarters and remove the core; slice into thin ribbons.
Cut apples into matchsticks
Mix cabbage and apples with shredded carrots
Whisk together mayo, pickle juice, Dijon,cider vinegar,Louisiana hot sauce,salt and pepper
Pour over cabbage mixture; hold cold
NASHVILLE FRIED CHICKEN
INGEDIENTS:
Milk
Eggs
Louisiana Hot Sauce
Flour Salt
Chicken Breasts
Crisco
Cayenne Pepper
Brown Sugar
Black Pepper
Paprika
Garlic Powder
Bread
Pickles
STEPS:
Make the dredge: in a bowl, whisk together milk, eggs, and louisiana hot sauce.
In a separate bowl, whisk together flour and salt
Dredge the chicken in flour mixture, then milk mixture, then flour mixture.
Heat Crisco in deep fryer to 325 degrees.
Fry chicken in batches. 15-20 minutes each batch.
Remove and let drain on the rack.
Ladle hot oil from fryer into a bowl and whisk in cayenne pepper,light brown sugar, black pepper,paprika,and garlic powder
Baste the spicy oil over the chicken.
Serve with bread and pickles.
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In this blast from the past, Andrew Schulz, Yannis Pappas, and I talk New York, Hannah Gadsby, and relationships.
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MATZO BALL SOUP
Chicken Stock
INGREDIENTS:
1 4–5-lb. chicken, cut into 8 pieces
1 pound chicken wings, necks, and/or backs
2 large yellow onions, unpeeled, quartered
6 celery stalks, cut into 1" pieces
4 large carrots, peeled, cut into 1” pieces
1 large parsnip, peeled, cut into 1” pieces
1 large shallot, quartered
1 head of garlic, halved crosswise
6 sprigs flat-leaf parsley
1 tablespoon black peppercorns
(You could also buy a roasted chicken and pull apart for the broth)
STEPS:
Bring all ingredients and 12 cups cold water to a boil in a very large (at least 12-qt.) stockpot. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer until chicken breasts are cooked through, about 20 minutes.
Transfer breasts to a plate (remaining chicken parts are strictly for stock). Let breasts cool slightly, then remove meat and return bones to stock. Shred meat. Let cool, tightly wrap, and chill.
Continue to simmer stock, skimming surface occasionally, until reduced by one-third, about 2 hours. Strain chicken stock through a fine-mesh sieve into a large saucepan (or airtight container, if not using right away); discard solids. You should have about 8 cups.
DO AHEAD: Stock can be made 2 days ahead. Let cool; cover and chill. Keep reserved chicken meat chilled.
Matzo ball Mixture
INGREDIENTS:
3 large eggs, beaten to blend
¾ cup matzo meal
¼ cup schmaltz (chicken fat), melted
3 tablespoons club soda
1¼ teaspoon kosher salt
STEPS:
1. In a medium bowl mix 2 large eggs with 1/4 cup of vegetable oil.
2. Add the contents of the package marked "Matzo" and mix until uniform. Let stand for 15 minutes.
3. In a large pot with a tight fitting lid, bring 2 1/2 quarts water to a boil. Add contents of the package marked "soup" and mix to dissolve.
4. Using wet hands, form matzo mix into balls about the size of walnuts.
5. Drop balls into boiling soup, cover tightly and reduce heat to a simmer and cook for 30 minutes. Store in a dry place.
Assembly
INGREDIENTS:
2 small carrots, peeled, sliced ¼” thick on a diagonal
Kosher salt
2 tablespoons coarsely chopped fresh dill
Coarsely ground fresh black pepper
STEPS:
Bring chicken stock to a boil in a large saucepan. Add carrots; season with salt. Reduce heat and simmer until carrots are tender, 5–7 minutes. Remove from heat, add reserved breast meat, and cover. Set soup aside.
Meanwhile, bring a large pot of well-salted water to a boil. Scoop out 2-tablespoonful portions matzo ball mixture and, using wet hands, gently roll into balls.
Add matzo balls to water and reduce heat so water is at a gentle simmer (too much bouncing around will break them up). Cover pot and cook matzo balls until cooked through and starting to sink, 20–25 minutes.
DO AHEAD: Using a slotted spoon, transfer matzo balls to bowls. Ladle soup over, top with dill, and season with pepper.
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We recreate Taco Bell’s Mexican Pizza and bring the Choco Taco back to life. Greg and Beth wrote on HBO’s Crashing together and are one of my favorite pairings. Stay ’til the end for a fun surprise!
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TACO BELL MEXICAN PIZZAS, CRUNCH WRAPS, AND CHOCO TACOS
Start with the CHOCO TACO SHELLS (waffle cones):
Whisk together until no lumps remain:
- 2 whole eggs plus 2 egg whites
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons superfine sugar
- 1 cup plus 4 tablespoons all purpose flour
- 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted
- 4 tablespoons whole milk
- 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
- Heat waffle cone maker (pizzelle cookie maker)
- Pour 3-3½ tablespoons batter into the center of discs
- Cook until golden brown. Remove and fold over wooden spoon to form taco. Rest spoon between cups until cool (1 minute).
- Carefully spoon ice cream into the cooled shells, smoothing the edges. Place in loaf pans upright and stacked against one another.
- Refreeze ice cream tacos for a while.
Prepare the ingredients for the MEXICAN PIZZAS and CRUNCHWRAPS:
- Heat a bunch of oil in pot for deep frying.
- Prepare taco meat.
- Combine Ground beef and Packaged taco seasoning.
- Heat up canned refried beans
- Fry the 8-in flour tortillas until golden brown 30-45 seconds, then drain on paper towels.
Assemble the pizzas:
- Top a fried tortilla with a thin layer of refried beans.
- Then a layer of taco meat.
- Put another tortilla on top of the taco meat.
- Enchilada sauce on tortilla.
- Put a few diced tomatoes and green chiles on top of red sauce.
- Top with the Mexican blend cheese.
- Put finished Mexican pizzas on cookie sheet and broil in oven until cheese is melted.
- Top with a few chopped green onions.
- Cut into fourths and serve.
While the Mexican Pizzas are getting melty, MAKE CRUNCH WRAP:
- Heat 12-in flour tortilla to warm.
- Heat nacho cheese.
Assemble:
- Place ground beef mixture in the center of each tortilla.
- Top with nacho cheese and tostada shell.
- Spread sour cream in an even layer over the tostada shell
- Top with lettuce, tomato and cheese.
- Fold the edges up and over the center. Continue to work your way around the tortilla, folding as tight as possible.
- Heat 1 tablespoon olive oil in skillet. Place wrap seam-side down and cook until the underside is golden brown, about 2 minutes. Flip and cook wrap on the other side, about 1-2 minutes longer.
Finish the CHOCO TACOS:
- Heat Chocolate chips in a pot until melted.
- Remove ice cream tacos from freezer- Dip in chocolate.
- Top with crushed peanuts if you want.
- Freeze for a sec then eat
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Nick Swardson and Simon Rex reminisce about partying with Paris Hilton, Nick’s writing of Malibu’s Most Wanted, and their Comedy Central web series, Typical Rick. Meanwhile, I attempt to cook a meal according to Nick’s insane dietary restrictions.
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VEGAN, GLUTEN-FREE MINI THAI PIZZAS and THAI KELP NOODLES
Dairy-free
Grain-free
Citrus and fruit-free
Gluten-free
Sugar-free
No seafood
VEGAN GLUTEN-FREE MINI THAI PIZZAS
Instructions:
1. Bring a pot of water to a boil
2. Use a box grater to make the cauliflower rice from 1 head
cauliflower.
3. Add riced cauliflower to water. Cook for 5 minutes to soften.
Then drain in a fine mesh strainer Let cool 5 minutes.
4. Transfer cauliflower rice to a clean dish towel and ring out as
much of the excess liquid as possible. Ring until no more water comes out. Set aside.
5. In a large mixing bowl, prepare the flax egg (1½ TBSP flax meal and 4 TBSP water) and let rest 5 minutes.
6. Then add these things to the cauliflower rice:
a. ¼ TSP salt
b. 3 TBSP vegan parmesan cheese
c. 1 TSP oregano
d. 1 TSP dried basil
e. 3 cloves minced garlic
f. 1 TBSP Arrowroot starch
7. Stir with a mixing spoon or your hands to thoroughly combine.
8. Form into small, ½-inch thick discs, pan fry and drain.
9. Top with pre-made peanut sauce (peanut butter, tamari sauce,
sriracha, fake sugar, ginger) and vegan cheese.
10. Pop in the oven to melt the cheese.
THE THAI KELP NOODLES
1. Drain and rinse the kelp noodles and set aside
2. Saute bell peppers and spinach. Set aside.
3. MAKE THE SAUCE. Combine these ingredients in the blender:
a. 1 can organic full-fat coconut milk
b. 1/2 cup peanut butter
c. 3 tablespoons Swerve artificial sweetener
d. 2 tablespoons organic extra-virgin olive oil
e. 1 tablespoon cilantro
f. 2 cloves crushed garlic
g. 1 red pepper
h. 1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
i. 1 teaspoon salt
4. Combine the noodles, sauce, bell peppers and spinach together. Garnish with cilantro
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On this special throwback episode, I host a BBQ at my house for my buddies, comedians Ari Shaffir and Steve Rannazzisi. They help me grind my meat, we throw down some wieners, and wash it all down with some jell-o shots.
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THE PERFECT BURGER
INGREDIENTS
· 1 egg
· 1 teaspoon mustard(regular or Dijon)
· 1 teaspoonWorcestershire sauce
· 1 small onion, finely grated
· 1 clove garlic, minced
· 1⁄2 teaspoon salt
· 1⁄2 teaspoon pepper
· 1 lb medium ground beef
· FLAVOUR PERK STIR-INS
· 1 tablespoon creamy caesar salad dressing or 1 tablespoon Greek salad dressing
· 1 tablespoon chopped sun-dried tomato
· 1 tablespoon sour cream or 1 tablespoon yoghurt
· 1 tablespoon grated fresh lemon rind or 1 tablespoon lime rind
· 1 tablespoon grated ginger root
· 1 tablespoon ketchup or 1 tablespoon barbecue sauce
· 1 teaspoon lemon pepper
· 1 teaspoon curry powder
· 1 teaspoon dried oregano or 1 teaspoon dried thyme or 1 teaspoon dried rosemary
· 1 tablespoon fresh herb
· 2 teaspoons cajun seasoning
· 1 teaspoon sesame oil
· 1 teaspoon teriyaki sauce or 1 teaspoon hoisin sauce
· 1 fresh jalapeños or 1 pickled jalapeño pepper, chopped
DIRECTIONS
1. Lightly oil grill & heat BBQ to medium.
2. Whisk egg in a bowl & add next 6 ingredients.
3. Add any of the “stir-ins” that appeal to you.
4. Crumble in beef & using your hands or a fork, gently mix together.
5. Handle the meat as little as possible – the more you work it, the tougher it gets.
6. Gently shape (don’t firmly press) mixture into burgers about ¾ inch thick.
7. Using your thumb, make a shallow depression in the centre of each burger to prevent puffing up during cooking.
8. Place burgers on the grill, close lid& BBQ until NO LONGER PINK INSIDE, turning once, about 6 – 8 minutes per side.
9. An instant read thermometer should read 160F.
10. Don't abuse your burgers by pressing with a spatula, pricking with a fork or turning frequently as precious juices will be lost!
11. Tuck into a warm crusty bun & add your favorite toppings.
GRILLED PINEAPPLE AND ICE CREAM
· 1 pineapple
· 2 tablespoons granulated sugar
· 1/4 cup/60 grams butter
· 1/2 cup/100 grams brown sugar
· 1/4 cup/60 milliliters cream
· 8 scoops vanilla ice cream
1. Preheat GRILL
2. Remove the top and the bottom of the pineapple, and peel it. Cut the pineapple into rings. Season the pieces all over with granulated sugar.
3. Put the pineapple rings onto the grill with one of the cut sides down for 10 minutes. Tip the pineapple on their other cut sides and continue to cook until they’re nicely browned, another 5 minutes or so.
4. While the pineapple is roasting, put the brown sugar in a small, high-sided saucepan along with just enough water to make the sugar look like wet sand. Cook over high heat until the water cooks off and the sugar froths and bubbles, 2 to 3 minutes; then reduce the heat to medium-low and cook for another minute or so. Add the cream in a steady stream (be careful -- it will boil violently on contact with the melted brown sugar) and stir to incorporate. Or buy some caramel sauce at the market!
5. Serve the roasted pineapple on the skin but sliced from it and cut into bite-sized pieces, as in the photos, topped with the ice cream and drizzled with the warm caramel sauce.
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Had to bring back this throwback episode from our storied run in NYC! If you see either of these two on the lineup, it’s guaranteed to be a brain-altering show. But if you see this dish on the menu, results may be hit or miss. Tune in to see if I can pull it off!
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Shakshuka
North African–Style Poached Eggs in Spicy Tomato Sauce
INGREDIENTS:
* 3 tablespoons (45ml) extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for drizzling
* 1 medium onion, thinly sliced
* 1 large red pepper (bell pepper for milder heat, or a hotter variety, such as red horned pepper, depending on your heat preference), stems, seeds, and ribs removed, thinly sliced
* 1 fresh small hot chili (such as jalapeño, serrano, or Fresno), stems, seeds, and ribs removed, thinly sliced
* 2 to 3 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
* 1 1/2 tablespoons (15g) sweet Hungarian or smoked Spanish paprika
* 2 teaspoons (8g) whole or ground cumin seed
* 1 (28-ounce; 800g) can whole peeled tomatoes, crushed by squeezing between your fingers or with a pastry blender (see note)
* Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
* Large handful minced cilantro, parsley, or a mix
* 6 eggs
* Sliced oil-cured black olives, feta cheese, or artichoke hearts, for serving (all optional)
STEPS:
1. Chop 1 medium onion, 1 red pepper
2. Crush 1 can whole tomatoes by hand
3. Thinly slice 2-3 cloves garlic
4. Heat 3 tablespoons olive oil in cast iron skillet over high heat until shimmering.
5. Add onion, red pepper, and chili and spread into an even layer. Cook, without moving, until vegetables on the bottom are deeply browned and beginning to char in spots, about 6 minutes. Stir and repeat. Continue to cook until vegetables are fully softened and spottily charred, about another 4 minutes.
6. Add garlic and cook, stirring, until softened and fragrant, about 30 seconds.
7. Add 1 1/2 tablespoons paprika and 2 teaspoons cumin and cook, stirring, until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Immediately add tomatoes and stir to combine (see note). Reduce heat to a bare simmer and simmer for 10 minutes, then season to taste with salt and pepper and stir in half of cilantro or parsley.
8. Using a large spoon, make a well near the perimeter of the pan and break an egg directly into it. Spoon a little sauce over edges of egg white to partially submerge and contain it, leaving yolk exposed. Repeat with remaining 5 eggs, working around pan as you go. Season eggs with a little salt, cover, reduce heat to lowest setting, and cook until egg whites are barely set and yolks are still runny, 5 to 8 minutes.
9. Sprinkle with remaining cilantro or parsley, along with any of the optional toppings. Serve immediately with crusty bread.
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In this throwback episode, I bring on OG New York podcasters Keith and The Girl. I’m a huge fan of Keith Malley and Chemda and tried to wow them with a one of the most complicated dessert recipes. Tune in and watch us go through every egg in the greater Los Angeles area!
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CROQUEMBOUCHE
INGREDIENTS:
Eggs
Milk
Vanilla
Sugar
Cornstarch
Butter
Salt
Corn syrup
Heavy cream
MAKE THE CUSTARD
1. Preheat oven to 425˚F
2. Separate out egg yolks
3. In a pot, heat milk and vanilla over medium heat; ring to a boil and turn off heat.
4. Using a hand mixer, beat the egg yolks and sugar until light and fluffy
5. Add cornstarch and mix until fully incorporated.
6. Add some of the milk mixture to the egg yolk mixture and mix until well combined; add remaining milk mixture and beat until fully incorporated.
7. Over medium heat, whisk the mixture constantly until thickened - 7-10 minutes.
8. Remove from the heat and add butter, whisking to combine.
9. Strain the custard into a bowl; cover with plastic wrap and chill for 2 hours
MAKE THE PUFFS (“PATE A CHOUX”)
1. In a large pot, bring water, butter, salt, and sugar to a boil over high heat.
2. Once the water begins to boil, remove the pot from the heat and immediately add the flour, stirring constantly with a wooden spoon until the liquid is absorbed and the mixture begins to form a ball.
3. Return the pot to the heat and cook for another 30 seconds to remove excess moisture; remove from heat and put in stand mixer.
4. Mix in one egg at a time until fully incorporated.
5. Using a piping bag with a round tip, fill the bag with the batter
6. Place 1” dollops on a parchment paper-lined baking sheet, spaced 1” apart.
7. Use a wet fingertip to gently press down any points on the puffs; brush the egg wash over the puffs
8. Bake for 15 minutes at 425°; reduce heat to 375° and bake for 15 minutes.
9. Fill the cream puffs with custard
MAKE THE CARAMEL
1. Add sugar, corn syrup, and water to a pan over medium heat; bring to a boil and cover for 5 min.
2. Remove the lid and cook for an additional 7-10 minutes
3. Remove the pan from the heat and add heavy cream, stirring vigorously.
ASSEMBLE THE CROQUEMBOUCHE
1. Working quickly, dip the cream puffs into the caramel and arrange on a serving platter in a circular pattern.
2. Continue to stack caramel-dipped cream puffs in a tower shape.
3. Once your tower is completed, dip a fork into the caramel sauce and drizzle it around the tower.
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I’m cooking up the WHOLE cow for Harland Williams and Michael Rosenbaum with this tongue, bacon, and bottom round sandwich. We are also doing imitations, throwing up, and I burn my arm. Oh, and Harland is allergic to everything I am making, so there’s that.
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KISS MY GREASY A** SANDWICH W/ A PALATE CLEANSER COCKTAIL
Kiss My Greasy A** Sandwich
* Tongue
* Bacon
* Bottom Round
* Hoagie rolls
* White onion
* Tomato
* Mustard, Mayo, Horseradish
1. Boil tongue ahead of time
2. Cut and peel outer layer of tongue membrane and discard
3. Slice thin
4. Cook bacon; set aside on paper towel
5. Slice bottom round beef into super thin slices
6. Season with salt and pepper
7. Cook bottom round in bacon grease; set aside
8. Cook tongue in bacon grease
9. Slice white onion and rolls
10. Slather mayo and horseradish on bread
11. Layer meats, onion, and tomato on sandwich
Palate Cleanser Cocktail
* Frozen bananas and pineapples
* Coconut milk
* Vodka
1. Blend frozen banana, frozen pineapple, and vodka in blender
2. Stream in coconut milk until it reaches the right consistency
3. Add a floater of vodka and maraschino cherry on top
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A couple clean comics come by the kitchen for peanut brittle, rum runners, and conversation. Brian Regan, Tom Papa, and I chat about baking bread, cooking shows, and stealing jokes. Plus, we talk about what artisanal hobbies we would have if we quit comedy.
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RUM RUNNERS:
1. Combine 1 ounce of each into a cocktail shaker with ice
* Light Rum
* Dark Rum
* Banana Liqueur
* Blackberry Liqueur
* Orange Juice
* Pineapple Juice
* A SPLASH of grenadine
2. String into glass over fresh ice
3. Float a little rum on top and light it on fire
4. Garnish with orange slice
BACON PEANUT BRITTLE
1. Butter a foil-lined baking sheet
2. Cook slices of bacon until crisp; drain and split in half
3. Make sugar candy
* Combine sugar, corn syrup, water in a saucepan
* Cook over medium-high heat until 260°
* Remove from heat and add butter, peanuts, and salt.
* Stir and continue cooking on medium-high heat untip the syrup turns golden brown and reaches 285°
* Stir in bacon, vanilla extract, and baking soda
* Cook until the foam subsides and darkens slightly
4. Pour onto lined baking sheet and spread around to form a thin layer
5. Let cool; break into pieces
HOMEMADE BUTTER
1. Fill jar with heavy cream; screw on lid
2. Shake 5-7 minutes until a lump has formed
3. Separate out the buttermilk
4. Rinse the butter ball in water until water is clear
5. Mix in salt
GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (AZ/CO/IA/IL/IN/KS/KY/LA/MD/ME/MI/NC/NJ/OH/OR/PA/TN/VA/VT/WV/WY), (800) 327-5050 or visit gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY).
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Bert, Kyle Kinane, and Matt Braunger are ringin’ in Halloween six months early. Or late. There’s a pretty scary maple syrup / cider drink and a deviled eggs even Dracula himself would appreciate. Plus, they’re talkin’ a little about the Chicago comedy scene and a LOT about porn.
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Bourbon Maple Cider Cocktails and Deep-Fried DEVILED Eggs
Bourbon Maple Cider Cocktails
* Bourbon
* Applejack
* Maple Syrup
* Angostura bitters
1. Fill cocktail shaker with ice, 4 ounces bourbon, 4 ounces applejack, 2 ounces maple syrup, and 1dash Angostura bitters.
2. Strain into ice-filled cocktail glasses, then top each glass with cider.
Deep-Fried Deviled Eggs
* Hard Boiled Eggs
* Flour
* Beaten egg wash
* Panko Breadcrumbs
* Mayonnaise
* Salt
* Pepper
* Ritz crackers
1. Fill a pot with 2” oil; preheat to 350° F.
2. Hard-boil eggs; shock in ice water and peel.
3. Scoop egg yolks out and place into a mixing bowl; set whites aside.
4. Add 2 tablespoons mayonnaise, 1.5 tablespoons relish and 2 teaspoons Dijon mustard to yolks; lightly season with salt and pepper.
5. Dredge egg whites in flour, then into egg wash
6. Coat egg whites in breadcrumb mixture
7. Drop into hot oil and fry 2-3 min or until golden brown
8. Remove from oil; set aside on paper towel to cool / drain
9. Scoop yolk mixture into bowl of the egg
10. Garnish with your choice of hot sauce, dill, paprika (or all!)
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