The Kink Perspective

This is a story about John and Michelle, BDSM practitioners who found themselves through the lifestyle. The life they had, and in the end how the roles changed, because of love.

On today’s show, I discuss how the rise of silencing, exclusion, and conformity is affecting kink communities. We look at the psychology of groupthink, the danger of rhetoric turning violent, and why protecting difference is essential to the foundations of BDSM. At its heart, kink depends on consent, creativity, and dignity. When fear takes their place, the culture erodes. This episode is a call to remember what kink was built for and to ask what kind of community we want to create together.Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.comFind me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!#BDSM #Psychology #Safety #Rhetoric #KinkCommunity

On today’s show, I discuss the sting of jealousy and envy in the digital age, and how even a simple like on social media can trigger deep insecurities. We’ll break down the difference between jealousy and envy, explore how exclusivity is tested in public spaces, and talk about practical ways to respond when those pangs hit. I’ll also bring this into the kink and D/s dynamic, where attention and validation carry heightened meaning.Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.comFind me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!#BDSM #Psychology #Jealousy #Envy

On today’s show, I sit down with redwarrior, a Leatherwoman, author, teacher, and titleholder who has been part of the BDSM community for decades. We talk about what first drew her into the lifestyle, how she discovered her roles as both sadist and masochist, dominant and submissive, and her passion for the Leather community. We explore her views on submission as a spiritual path, the psychology of risk and surrender, the ethics of conditioning in power exchange, and what it means to integrate dual identities. This is a candid and thoughtful conversation about kink, identity, and the deeper truths that shape who we are.Follow her on Fetlife - @redwarrriorContinue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.comFind me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!#BDSM #Psychology #Journey #Duality

On today’s show, I discuss how social pressure and conditioning shape the way we experience power dynamics in kink. We’ll look at why curiosity about crossing the slash often collides with fear, shame, and self-judgment, and how internalized expectations can hold us back from exploring roles that might feel authentic. This episode challenges the idea that our choices are purely personal and asks whether we’re living by desire or by the mold we were handed.Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.comFind me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!#BDSM #Psychology #Roles #Society

On today’s show, I discuss the messy middle of kink, that stage where the thrill of being new has faded but you do not yet feel fully grounded. We explore what this phase looks like, why it often feels awkward or isolating, and how psychology helps explain identity drift, loss of novelty, and comparison traps. I also talk about how to reframe this stage as a chance to clarify values and build depth, not as a failure. And at the end of the episode, I share this week’s segment of You’re Famous Now, where I read some of the more colorful comments that come my way.Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.comFind me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!#BDSM #Psychology #Discover #Depth

On this episode, I discuss the real process of reclaiming your kink after it has been used to harm you. From understanding the unique impact of abuse in kink, to navigating the messy middle of recovery, to taking small steps toward safety and choice, this conversation is about rebuilding trust in yourself and others without losing the parts of you that still want to feel and play. I also introduce a new segment to the show, “You’re Famous Now,” where I share and reclaim some of the more colorful feedback I have received since speaking openly about these topics.Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.comFind me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!#BDSM #Psychology #Abuse #Reclamation

On today’s show, I discuss what happens when someone in the kink community is outed, whether by carelessness or intent, and why it’s a serious breach of trust and consent. I share real stories, including my own recent experience, and explore the psychological fallout, community responsibility, and the quiet ways outing erodes safety. This episode isn’t about drama, it’s about the ethics we claim to live by and how we show up when someone’s privacy is violated. Whether you’re visible or private in your kink life, this one’s worth your time.Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.comFind me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!#BDSM #Psychology #Exposure #Outed

On this episode, I discuss what happens when BDSM and swinger cultures overlap in shared spaces, and why the differences between them matter. Prompted by a listener’s question, I break down how consent, structure, and intention can quickly get blurred in environments that weren’t built with kink ethics in mind. From navigating pickup play to holding your values in sexually open venues, this episode is about staying grounded, clear, and responsible, especially when no one else around you is.Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.comFind me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!#BDSM #Psychology #Swingers #Ethics

On today's show, I discuss the often misunderstood concept of agency, what it is, what it isn’t, and why so many people unknowingly live without it. We explore how agency gets eroded through trauma, family systems, cultural roles, and relationship dynamics, including in kink and power exchange. I break down the difference between agency and control, autonomy, rebellion, and codependency, and offer real steps for reclaiming your voice and choices, even when it costs you. This episode isn’t about having all the answers, it’s about learning to ask the right questions so you can stop living on default and start living on purpose.Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.comFind me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!#BDSM #Psychology #Agency #Choice

On today's show, I discuss the challenge of feeling like you're "too much" in relationships, especially when your emotional and sexual needs aren't being met. We explore how emotional needs are not too big but are often about finding the right compatibility with someone who can truly meet you where you are. Whether you’re in a traditional or BDSM relationship, understanding your own needs and recognizing emotional compatibility is key.Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.comFind me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!#BDSM #Psychology #EmotionalNeeds

On today’s show, I discuss what it really means when someone feels the urge to lose. To give in, fold, apologize, or beg for forgiveness, not out of peace but out of fear. We look at the collapse response as a survival strategy, not a flaw, and explore how it shows up in both vanilla and kink relationships. I break down the difference between collapse and submission, why disappearing can feel safer than standing up, and how early emotional conditioning shapes this pattern. If you’ve ever felt like losing keeps you connected, this episode is for you.Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.comFind me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!#BDSM #Psychology #Collapse #Survival

On today’s show, I discuss trauma bonding, what it is, how it forms, and why it feels so powerful. We take a clinical and grounded look at the psychological mechanisms behind trauma bonding, from intermittent reinforcement to early survival adaptations shaped by attachment wounds. I break down how these patterns show up in both vanilla relationships and kink dynamics, where power exchange can sometimes blur the line between healthy vulnerability and trauma reenactment. We cover the red flags to watch for, why smart and self-aware people can get pulled into these cycles, and what it takes to begin breaking them. If you have ever wondered why unstable relationships can feel so compelling, this episode will give you a deeper understanding.Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.comFind me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!#BDSM #Psychology #Trauma #Bonding

On today’s show, I discuss the reality behind love bombing: what it is, why it works, and how it shows up in both vanilla and kink dynamics. We’ll look at the psychology behind the behavior, the emotional impact on the person receiving it, and the signs you might already be in it without realizing. From rushed intimacy to coercive affection, I break down how love bombing can distort consent, erode pacing, and blur the line between connection and control. Whether you're a Dom, sub, or just someone trying to understand where intensity ends and manipulation begins.Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.comFind me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!#BDSM #Psychology #LoveBombing

On today’s show, I discuss what happens when the relationship you built no longer fits the life you’re living now. I explore the need for renegotiation, not because something is broken, but because people change. From emotional contracts and outdated roles to attachment patterns and the psychology of growth, I break down why honest check-ins matter and how to approach them without fear. Whether you're in a vanilla marriage, a long-term D/s dynamic, or somewhere in between, this episode offers insight into how relationships evolve and how to meet each other again with clarity, presence, and intention.Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.comFind me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!#BDSM #Psychology #Renegotiation #Evolution

On today’s show, I discuss what happens when love and erotic identity don’t align. Can a relationship survive when one partner is kinky and the other isn’t? I explore the emotional split, the impact of performative dynamics, the hope that love can “convert” desire, and the quiet cost of suppressing who you are to stay connected. This is an honest look at erotic mismatch, self-abandonment, and what it really means to compromise.Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.comFind me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!#BDSM #Psychology #Relationships #Erotic #Desires #Alignment

On today’s show, I discuss the growing misuse of trauma language in kink education and why it’s more than just a trend. From burnout worksheets shared without context to influencers offering therapy-adjacent advice without credentials, we’re exploring where personal experience stops and clinical responsibility begins. I break down the differences between trauma-informed and trauma-specific work, the risks of therapeutic mimicry, and how unqualified voices are reshaping safety in BDSM communities. Whether you’re a teacher, leader, or participant, this episode is about discernment, accountability, and protecting the integrity of healing.Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.comFind me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!#BDSM #Psychology #Trauma #Education #Responsibility

In this episode, I return to a topic I covered early on: rejection resilience. This time, I’m taking a direct look at ghosting. We explore the difference between hurt and harm, why not every disappearance is an act of betrayal, and how emotional entitlement shows up in the aftermath. For those in the BDSM community, where intensity and vulnerability run deep, ghosting can feel like a violation. But is it always? I break down why autonomy includes the right to walk away, how we confuse discomfort with danger, and what it really takes to move on without closure. It won’t be easy listening, but it’s a conversation that needs to happen.ReferencesCampbell, W. K., Bonacci, A. M., Shelton, J.,Exline, J. J., & Bushman, B. J. (2004). Psychological entitlement:Interpersonal consequences and validation of a self-report measure. Journalof Personality Assessment, 83(1), 29–45. https://doi.org/10.1207/s15327752jpa8301_04Kruglanski, A. W., Webster, D. M., & Klem,A. (1993). Motivated resistance and openness to persuasion in the presence orabsence of prior information. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,65(5), 861–876. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.67.6.1063Romero-Canyas, R., Downey, G., Berenson, K.,Ayduk, O., & Kang, N. J. (2010). Rejection sensitivity and therejection-hostility link in romantic relationships. Journal of Personality,78(1), 119–148. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2009.00611.xSchaan, V. K., & Vögele, C. (2016).Resilience and rejection sensitivity mediate long-term outcomes of parentaldivorce. European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 25(11), 1267–1269. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00787-016-0893-7Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.comFind me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!#BDSM #Psychology #Rejection #Ghosting #Resilience

On today’s episode, I discuss how resentment takes root in power exchange relationships and why it often goes unnoticed until real damage is done. I explore the emotional cost of silence, how forgiveness gets misused, and why avoiding conflict can slowly erode trust and connection. This is a conversation about clarity over comfort, and what it really takes to keep a dynamic emotionally honest and sustainable.Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.comFind me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!#BDSM #Psychology #Resentment #Silence

On today’s show, I discuss the eroticism of punishment, and why, for many, it’s not about pain but about being seen. I explore how early attachment wounds, shame, and emotional neglect can shape our adult desires, especially in kink and power exchange dynamics. This episode dives into the psychology of arousal, trauma reenactment, and the thin line between healing and compulsion. Whether you’re a Dominant, submissive, or just curious about where your cravings come from, this is an invitation to unpack the emotional roots beneath the erotic charge and to explore what conscious, emotionally safe kink can really look like.Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at TheKinkPerspective@gmail.comFind me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!#BDSM #Psychology #Punishment #Attachment #Shame