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Therapist Uncensored Podcast
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Therapist Uncensored Podcast

Author: Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP & Ann Kelley PhD

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Learn to use the sciences of the mind to help you understand what makes you emotionally tick. Two Austin therapists and their world-recognized guest experts break down the research in modern attachment, relational neuroscience and trauma in a challenging but entertaining format to keep you off autopilot and moving towards closer connections. www.therapistuncensored.com
247 Episodes
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Sue Marriott and Ann Kelley discuss Experiential Dynamic Therapies (EDTs) with experts Margaret Martin and Dr. Deb Pollack. These therapies focus on recognizing and challenging defenses that lead to problems both internally and relationally. Learn the difference between defenses that feel right (Egosyntonic) and those that don't (Egodystonic) and why it's important to work against them for change. This episode is a deep dive into the role of EDTS in couples' therapy, and highlights the need for an integrated approach to address underlying trauma, plus much more!
Post-election we felt it was important to record and release an additional episode this week. There are a wide variety of emotions being felt throughout the world, and it feels more important than ever that we tune into the complexities of political identity, emotional responses, and the impact of political discourse on all of our personal relationships in the wake of a divisive presidential election. Ann and Sue, alongside Michael Hilgers, LPC, emphasize the need for deeper conversations that transcend binary thinking and the significance of co-regulation in healing and fostering unity amidst division. They explore the challenges of navigating relationships where political views differ, emphasizing the value of patience, compassion, and open curiosity to foster understanding. The conversation touches on the risks of lasting family divides and underscores the importance of creating safe, respectful spaces for meaningful conversations. Ultimately, it encourages empathy and small, thoughtful steps toward more compassionate communication.
The political events in the United States have been a major contributor to our anxieties these past years, and with our significant presidential election looming over us this week - Ann and Sue are here to talk about the hard things. While the world feels unpredictable on the outside, one thing we can do is focus on the intricate relationship between our nervous systems and the emotional responses triggered by political events. They discuss how fear and anxiety are often manipulated through political rhetoric, leading to division and polarization, the importance of understanding how personal relationships amidst these tensions are emphasized, and the need for secure relating and accountability from leaders. There is power in recognizing the complexity of political opinions and the necessity of maintaining open dialogue to foster connection rather than division. Join us as we explore how to navigate differences, the importance of empathy and community, and the need for resilience during uncertain times.
Alongside Pam Benson Owens, Ann and Sue explore a variety of topics with a live audience at the KUYA Wellness center in Austin, TX. Referencing their book, Secure Relating: Holding Your Own in an Insecure World, they delve into the neuroscience behind relationships, discussing attachment styles and emotional regulation, and emphasize the importance of creating safe spaces for dialogue. They highlight the significance of understanding generational trauma and the complexities of navigating relationships in a diverse society. Through personal stories and insightful discussions, they shine a light on the power of self-awareness, encouraging listeners to explore their own emotional landscapes with compassion and curiosity. Learn how creating safe spaces for open dialogue can deepen connections, while understanding the role of pauses and curiosity in everyday conversations.
James Ochoa and co-host Sue Marriott explore the different subtypes of ADHD, and the impact on adults who are navigating a diagnosis later in life. As an ADHD expert, Ochoa shares insights on the emotional and mental stress that accompanies ADHD, as well as provides different techniques for managing symptoms. With an emphasis on the importance of self-care, communication, and personalized strategies, he provides resources and training for adults with ADHD, professionals who work with ADHD clients, and family members of individuals with ADHD.
We can understand our social pain by considering the nervous system, just think of it as a collective amygdala hijack!  Threat is pressing us to live in an alarm state and then we get used to it, as if it's normal to be so divided, hopeless and disdainful to those who are holding different positions in the world. We need to cultivate secure (mature) relating to move ourselves back into a social, relational place that makes us more generous, compassionate and able to work with complexity to stay engaged to solve some of these pressing world and community issues. Keep hope alive! Iwww.therapistuncensored.com/join
Sue Marriott and Akilah Riley Richardson dive into a compelling discussion about the vital need to center marginalized voices in therapy. They explore how Western perspectives have shaped therapy practices globally, often overlooking diverse cultural approaches. Akilah brings a fresh, challenging perspective to the table. She pushes for a real shake-up in how we approach therapy, especially when working with marginalized couples. It's not just about tweaking existing methods – she's calling for a fundamental rethinking of our assumptions. The conversation tackles some heavy topics, from unpacking the concept of relational privilege to developing strategies that help couples see beyond their individual struggles to the bigger picture of systemic trauma. It's eye-opening stuff.  What really stands out is their focus on the deep impact of systemic trauma. They don't just acknowledge it – they dig into why it's so crucial for therapists to truly understand and address it in their work. Ultimately, this discussion isn't just academic. It's a call to action for therapists to step up, broaden their perspectives, and find new ways to help couples break free from systemic constraints. It's about empowering relationships and, in the process, maybe changing the face of therapy itself. Get it ad-free: www.therapistuncensored.com/join Go to shownotes www.therapistuncensored.com/tu245.
Everyone is familiar with reacting “in the heat of the moment,” but do we really understand what that means? Regulation basics include the protection or connection pathways to interpersonal relating. With the high tension we're experiencing in the world today, it can feel particularly challenging to practice secure relating. We are re-sharing one of our impactful episodes where Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott explore the inner workings of our nervous system auto-pilot settings: protection vs connection.
Dr. Ann Kelley and Hyeseung Song, a first-generation Korean American discuss Hyeseung's experiences growing up as an Asian minority in America, touching on topics like racial stereotypes, assimilation, and the model minority myth .Hyeseung shares her journey of finding her voice and identity, highlighting the mental health challenges of navigating between cultures.
Enjoy this replay episode with Jan Winhall, as we explore how our bodies can guide us towards healing and growth through the concept of "felt sense." This approach integrates neuroscience and focuses on our innate ability to perceive and respond to our experiences. Winhall's work challenges conventional views on navigating challenges influenced by culture and trauma.
One of the many incredible aspects of this community are the people we are able to connect and learn with, like Robyn Gobbel. She is a licensed social worker, podcast host, keynote speaker, writer, trainer & consultant - and even host launch this spring. This episode, Ann and Sue joined her on her podcast, "The Baffling Behavior Show", to talk about secure relating.
As our schedules shift for summer, we think revisiting this episode with expert Lindsey Kealey is the perfect reminder. The warmer weather is great for vacations or some weekend fun in the sun, but we also know that the shift in schedule can be tough for parents and children. Little minds can have big feelings and in the spirit of secure relating, we are taking the opportunity to revisit strategies for teaching kids how to regulate their emotions and promote positive connection with others. Lindsey Kealey introduces a trauma-informed program grounded in neuroscience, employing social-emotional learning and problem-solving techniques to enhance decision-making and relational well-being. Through her Three C's approach - connect, calm, and collaborate - she aims to revolutionize interpersonal dynamics, empowering individuals to interact more positively with themselves and others.
This is our final part where we lean into the last section of the book to help us all build a deeper connection, Moving from individual to interpersonal and then societal levels, we discuss the complexities of human connection. Ann and Sue touch on leadership and the need for nuance in navigating today's challenges while aiming to expand beyond just the Western lens. Whether it be with your partner or even how you navigate your community - building security helps us find a state of curiosity, openness, and wonder.
Following the launch of the book, our virtual party, and our Modern Attachment conference in Austin, TX, Ann and Sue open with gratitude from the event, and for the overwhelming outpour of love and support from our community and those who help inspire this content. As we dive into more chapters of the book, we lean into understanding the attachment spectrum colors, recognizing what is happening internally when we feel activated, and shifting activation levels.
After years of hard work, Sue and Ann could not be more excited to celebrate the release of their book. Today's episode offers behind the scene's conversation and a deeper dive into Part 1 of the book, Secure Relating Holding Your Own in an Insecure World. You can purchase it now directly at www.securerelatingbook.com and get an ad-free podcast feed at www.therapistuncensored.com/join.
Exactly 100 episodes later, Ann and Sue are thrilled to be back discussing Integrative Attachment theory with Dr. David Elliott. Together they delve into the therapy model's development, centered around three key elements: enhancing collaboration, fostering metacognition, and constructing new internal working models through imagery. Dr. Elliott elaborates on how the therapeutic journey prioritizes the therapeutic alliance, perspective-taking, and employing mental imagery to cultivate fresh attachment dynamics. Despite limited empirical validation, anecdotal evidence suggests its efficacy in symptom reduction and enhancing overall well-being. Ann and Sue share insights into crafting their book and course on attachment insecurity, emphasizing the significance of mental imagery and collaborative engagement in therapy, while underscoring the necessity for more therapists skilled in attachment therapy.
Ann and Sue are back for another deep dive, this time on all things information processing. Using the concept of sunglasses as a metaphor for information distortion, they explain how our internal working models and attachment experiences shape the way we perceive and interpret information. The sunglasses represent different states of activation, with clear glasses indicating a secure state and aviator sunglasses representing a defensive, self-protective state. Sunglasses can affect our relationships - but they don't have to stop us from building healthy connections. Follow along as we explore the importance of curiosity, self-reflection, and open-mindedness in navigating relationships.
Join Dr. Ann Kelley and Dr. David Spiegel as they dive into the benefits and misconceptions of hypnosis. Hypnosis is a state of highly focused attention and cognitive flexibility, allowing individuals to explore new possibilities. Whether it's trouble with sleep, intense anxiety, or a need to break bad habits, hypnosis has proven to be an effective tool for many. Dr. Spiegel has dedicated years of research and emphasizes the importance of accessibility to hypnosis in our healthcare systems. His app R E V E R I has over 1 million downloads and allows you to rewire your brain, conquer negative habits, and achieve personal growth from home.
Join co-host Sue Marriott and Dr. Shena Young as they dive into liberation psychology and the conflict between intuition and the traditional European model of psychology. Dr. Shena highlights embodying a holistic approach to help heal traumas and deeply root us in our most authentic selves. Whether through connections with nature and/or the exploration of ancestral traditions, this discussion is enriched with various opportunities to reconnect and liberate our mind, body, heart, and spirit.
We’re back with long-time friend of the podcast and expert, Juliane Taylor Shore LMFT, LPC, SEP. As we reflect on our episode from six years ago on boundaries, we dive into new knowledge and how we can create boundaries that stick. Juliane Taylor Shore blends her original methods like "the jello wall" with new research to share exciting and thoughtful insight on how through boundaries we can harness compassion in our relationships with others and ourselves.
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Comments (15)

Sam sms

I talked to my wife about using these techniques on our daughter with ODD and serious schooling issues. Recently we have negative family mood because of her poor school scores and her non compliance with our rules. She said it is too risky. She is concerned about giving so much positive feedback to an ODD child who have learned to manipulate parents and get what she wants. But I said we tried everything but failed anyway. Let us try this.

May 13th
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Daniel Taylor

great discussion. although assuming a conclusion about why a male behaves certain ways sexually towards a possible sex partner is a reach. Instead of Socialization, could it be that people tend to assume that their inner reality is shared by the people they interact with? Why wouldn't a person, at a surface level, not having relationship with a person, assume that their experience is global to their environment socially? Mix alcohol to social exchange, lowering one's ability to reason, (IQ), and people act out the illusion they have created within the context of evolutionary or created modes of being. To be honest, it could be my age, whenever there is a discussion about hookup culture, I have a difficult time understanding why people participate in it. It also makes me sad that young people seem to be navigating life without the order of the past, respected elders. Hookup culture reminds me of an episode of logons run. Meaning has been disposed of and what's left is of very little

Mar 25th
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Lesa Jeannette

The recording is too quiet. I hope the sound quality gets better in newer episodes.

Dec 16th
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Laurence Van der Haegen

I'm loving your podcasts and have found your communication tips useful when dealing with challenges in my relationship. Thank you!

Nov 25th
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Algani Kimpar

Thank you. After reading the description, I will certainly listen to this episode. as I recognize myself on this covert narcissist. I realize this episode is more about how to deal with such people. But do you have any material on how to help yourself to cure if YOU are that narcissist? Therapy is recommended, of course (I am on the waiting list to get one currently, but in the meantime trying to figure something out myself). Thanks a lot for your podcast!

Nov 10th
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Steph Munday

I listened to this podcast and quite enjoyed it. I related to the single mom who has been single for a while, being more lenient with my son. I have a question though. My bf and I live together- me and my 1 child, and he and his 3 children. We've been together 2 years, living together for 1. I knew it would be difficult, but I always feel like he is annoyed with my son. He has even said he is often frustrated with my boy, and I try hard to better my parenting to ease his frustration but it never seems to be enough. It happens every week that I have him. Do you have any podcasts relating to this issue? It has gotten to the point where I am feeling quite down about it.

Sep 3rd
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Steph Munday

if I sit idle I usually fall asleep haha

Aug 12th
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Lesa Jeannette

great episode!

May 19th
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Josh Many

Such an amazing podcast! Has been truly been a gift to have discovered this. It provides an abundance of tools and insight into inner workings of the brain to make life so much easier to navigate and ability to create beautiful relationships. Highly highly recommend!!

Apr 14th
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Erika Sommer

Full disclosure I did not listen to this whole episode. I shut it off about 20 minutes because I was so frustrated with the way Dr. Brown defines complex trauma. It seems to me that he has a very high standard for what he calls complex trauma, particularly that it must come with all these severe comorbidities. Not only does this make no logical sense to me, it's incredibly frustrating as someone without those comorbidities who is still very much affected by childhood trauma. CPTSD is the only term available at this time to help people like me assert the validity of our particular type of trauma in the face of a culture that insists trauma must be related to some single horrendous event rather than a period of disruptive experiences in early childhood. It frustrates me to see Dr. Brown so callously take that away. I'm sure there is a way to discuss the intersection of CPTSD and other comorbidities and how attachment may come up without effectively invalidating a huge portion of CPTSD pa

May 31st
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Kirill Eremenko

Amazing podcast! Thank you

Mar 31st
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Matthew Copeland

this is making me dizzy. to hear sophisticated conversations lacking the primal integer that obviously keeps the ball bouncing is truly heartbreaking. its easy... anything you don't know is difficult. therefore when any introduction has passed but the journey continues the choice is apparent. that is Choice. So publicly televising early initiations that for some have easily been set aside to focus on the Good. You now get an older version that is giving the option to choose again. consequently there is only so much a person can process when handling situations that initially has been avoided for a more advantageous manner. now you have practice on practice on practice of an overloaded society to choose with pressures of instant messaging or be determined incompetent. you shouldn't allow the opinions by societies managers to determine what most people overcome as a child and that is the basic survival traditions that are passed down with as much freedom as allowed. quick answer is Be Gr

Oct 4th
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Dawn Butler

love this

Aug 8th
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Viola Chandler

Would like passionate warm,/ hot touching with my love time tick have til 10:45 pm . please

May 2nd
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