This Complex Life

People often imagine that parenthood clicks into place the moment a baby arrives. For many, the emotional changes, the exhaustion and the adjustment to a new sense of self are far more complex than expected.In this episode, I speak with Accredited Mental Health Social Worker Bronte Taylor about what it really feels like to lose and rebuild parts of yourself after becoming a parent.We talk about how motherhood can bring joy and pride while also bringing grief, disorientation and a sense of invisibility. Bronte shares her own experience, the concept of matrescence, and why mums often feel guilty when they try to meet their own needs.We explore:What matrescence is and why more people need to know about itWhy motherhood can shake your sense of identityHow childhood and family patterns show up in parentingWhy mums struggle to put themselves firstHow to start setting boundaries without drowning in guiltThe power of being seen, heard and validated instead of being fixedConnect with BronteInstagram: @bronte_heartfelttherapyCentre Self CollectiveHeartfelt TherapyResources mentionedIf Women Rose Rooted by Sharon BlackieDr Sophie Brock’s Motherhood StudiesMotherkind  Book by Zoe Blaskeyhttps://www.heartfelttherapy.com.au/https://centreself.com.au/ Matrescence: On the Metamorphosis of Pregnancy, Childbirth and Motherhood Book by Lucy Joneshttps://self-compassion.org/Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

ADHD is often misunderstood, especially in therapy. In this episode of This Complex Life, I talk with ADHD coach Ron Souers about what happens when therapy meets the realities of living with ADHD.We explore what it means to understand ADHD beyond the label, how it impacts emotions, relationships, and self-worth, and why self-compassion and curiosity make all the difference.You’ll hear about:The emotional side of ADHD (and how grief can show up after diagnosis)Common misconceptions in therapy and how to address themThe importance of validation, empathy, and communicationHow to support emotional regulation and connectionWhy therapy needs to focus on skills, not just medicationListen now wherever you get your podcasts.Resources:Listen to previous ADHD episode:Turning ADHD Struggles into Strengths:  How understanding your ADHD brain and practicing self-compassion can help you thrive.Connect with Ron Souers:Don’t Mind Me, I Just Have ADHD PodcastConnected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

ADHD can bring creativity, energy, and passion, but it can also make everyday life feel chaotic or overwhelming.In this episode of This Complex Life, I talk with Ron Souers, ADHD coach and host of Don’t Mind Me, I Just Have ADHD. We explore how understanding your ADHD brain can turn struggle into strength, and how self-compassion plays a huge role in that process.You’ll hear about:Why ADHD is more than distraction or forgetfulnessThe emotional side of ADHD (and why self-blame makes it worse)What happens when we stop trying to “fix” ourselvesPractical ways to work with your brain, not against itHow support, structure, and self-understanding build confidenceWhether you’ve been recently diagnosed or you’ve always suspected your brain works a bit differently, this episode will help you feel seen, supported, and hopeful.Resources:Ron Souers – https://dadhdwss.com/Don’t Mind Me, I Just Have ADHD podcastConnected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

We all like to think of ourselves as grown-ups, but what does it really mean to grow yourself up? And how does that shape every relationship you have at home, at work, and with the people you love most?In this encore episode, I’m joined by Dr Jenny Brown, author of Growing Yourself Up: How to Bring Your Best to All of Life’s Relationships. We explore what maturity actually looks like in practice, why we can’t change others without first managing ourselves, and how family patterns shape the way we love, work, and connect.You’ll hear about:The difference between genuine maturity and “borrowed” maturityHow family systems influence the way we manage stress and relationshipsWhat self-differentiation really means (and why it’s so important)Why emotional independence isn’t the same as disconnectionHow to stay calm and connected during family stressWhy growing up is a lifelong process, not something we finish in adulthoodIf you’ve ever found yourself reacting to your family dynamics or wondering why certain patterns keep repeating, this conversation will help you see yourself and your relationships in a whole new way.Learn more about Dr Jenny Brown: https://parenthopeproject.com.au/ Resources:Previous conversation: Building Stronger Parent-Child Relationships: A Conversation with Jenny Brown Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Does it ever feel like your teenager just doesn’t hear you?You remind them about chores, offer advice, try to connect  and all you get back is silence, an eye roll, or a quick “whatever.”In this encore episode, I unpack one of the biggest frustrations parents face: why teens seem to tune parents out and what’s really going on beneath the surface.You’ll hear about:Why advice often makes teens shut downHow to shift from “fixing” to listeningWhy chores and constant reminders can backfireWhat brain changes make teens focus on peers over parentsHow to respond in ways that build connection, not conflictIf your teen feels like they’ve stopped listening, this episode will help you understand why. and what small changes can help rebuild your connection.Listen now and find practical ways to reconnect with your teen.Resources:Explore my Connected Teens Course: https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teensConnect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

As kids grow into teens, they start to need more independence, and for many parents, that shift can feel like rejection. When your child pulls away, stops talking, or wants less of you, it’s easy to take it personally.In this encore episode of This Complex Life, I unpack why this happens, what it means for your relationship, and how you can respond in ways that protect connection instead of widening the gap.We’ll explore:Why parents often feel rejected as their children grow upWhat’s actually happening when teens pull awayThe shift from being your child’s “manager” to their “consultant”How to stay connected without guilt or controlWhat healthy boundaries look like during this stageHow to model accountability and repair after conflictListen now and learn how to stay close, even when your teen seems far away.Resources:Part of this conversation: https://marievakakis.com.au/the-psychology-of-rejection-and-what-to-do-about-it/ Learn more about Connected Teens™, an on-demand program to help you rebuild communication and strengthen connection: https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Rejection stings,  whether it’s a friend pulling away, not getting the job, being ghosted, or a partner feeling distant. Our brains don’t like ambiguity, so they fill in the blanks with painful stories about not being good enough, smart enough, or lovable.In this encore episode, I explore:Why rejection hurts so much and how it’s linked to survival wiringThe ways we often respond, withdrawing, lashing out, or people pleasingHow our brains make up unhelpful stories when we don’t have answersPractical tools from Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT)The role of mindfulness, values, and diffusion in managing rejectionWhy self-compassion and support are essential in moving forwardPart one focuses on understanding rejection and building strategies to cope. In part two, I’ll explore rejection in parenting, especially as teens start to need more independence.Resources:The Future of Friendships: Are We Getting Lonelier?Connected Teens :https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie :https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcast:https://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

It can feel heartbreaking when your teenager pulls away, shows little interest in your life, or seems dismissive of family connections. This is a common experience for many parents,  and while it can feel personal, it’s often just part of healthy adolescent development.In this episode, I talk through what’s happening for teens at this stage, and what parents can do to stay connected without pushing their kids further away.You’ll hear about:Why teenagers turn toward peers and away from parentsHow to avoid taking their changes personallyMoving from “manager” to “consultant” in your parenting roleWhy empathy is key (even when you disagree)The problem with angry pursuit and guilt-driven connectionHow to invite closeness without criticismPractical ideas for spending meaningful time togetherWhy listening and curiosity matter more than fixingThis episode is all about finding ways to feel connected, even when your teen seems uninterested in you.Resources:Submit a question for a future episode: https://forms.gle/6GJsNv9MeppUvw5j8 Connected Teens Program: https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/  Grab my free ebook https://marievakakis.com.au/my-teen-wont-talk-to-me/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Have you ever had a reaction that felt bigger than the situation? Maybe your partner forgot something small, and suddenly you felt worthless. These moments often have roots in our past.In this episode of This Complex Life, I sit down with Tamera Broughton to talk about how our unmet childhood needs show up in adult life, relationships, and emotional reactions. We explore how trauma is more than big, obvious events, it can also be the quiet absence of attunement, delight, or safety when we need it most.Together, we unpack how to recognise when old wounds are being triggered, what healing can look like through therapies like EMDR, and why making the “invisible visible” is key to moving forward.Key Takeaways:Trauma isn’t just what happened to you, it’s also what was missing.Disproportionate reactions often signal old pain, not just present triggers.Unmet emotional needs can create shaky “scaffolding” that affects self-worth and relationships.Healing involves strengthening internal resources as well as processing past pain.EMDR therapy can help shift old beliefs (“I’m not enough”) into healthier, adaptive ones.Noticing patterns and reactions is the first step toward change.If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend or loved one who’s curious about the impact of childhood experiences on adult life.Resources:Tamera’s website: https://centreself.com.au/clinicians-item/tamera-broughton-n/  What Happened to You? by Bruce Perry & Oprah WinfreyThe Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der KolkWhat My Bones Know by Stephanie FooConnected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Friendships are some of the most important relationships we have, but they’re also one of the easiest to neglect. In this episode of This Complex Life, I’m joined by Steph Clarke, futurist, facilitator, and author of How to Friend, to explore whether we’re really facing a loneliness epidemic, how friendships evolve as we age, and why maintaining meaningful connections takes intention.We talk about: • Why friendships can feel harder to maintain in adulthood • How technology shapes connection and disconnection • Overcoming fear of rejection and ‘cringe culture’ • The importance of making time for low-stakes hangouts • Why conflict and repair are part of healthy friendships • Simple ways to nurture friendships in everyday lifeSteph works with leaders to anticipate change and challenge the status quo, and she brings that lens to personal connection, offering practical advice for building meaningful friendships in a fast-paced, digital world.Listen now and start small; a simple message or quick call could mean more than you think.Resources: • How to Friend by Steph Clarke • 28 Thursdays • Join the This Complex Life NewsletterConnected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Affairs can devastate a relationship, leaving couples questioning everything they thought they knew about each other. In this episode of This Complex Life, I sit down with couples therapist Andrea Dindinger to talk about healing after betrayal, the slow process of rebuilding trust, and the courage it takes to move forward. We unpack why affairs happen, what betrayal does to relationships, and how couples can recover together or separately with intention and care.What you'll learn in this episode:Why betrayal can feel so destabilising and isolatingHow couples can start rebuilding trust after an affairSigns a relationship can heal versus when it’s time to walk awayThe importance of self-reflection and understanding attachment needsHow therapists support couples in high-conflict or post-betrayal recoveryWhy healing isn’t about quick fixes but consistent emotional workHealing after betrayal takes time, courage, and a lot of honest conversations. Whether you’re the one who’s been hurt or the one seeking forgiveness, there’s a path forward if both partners are willing to do the work. Tune in for this compassionate and practical discussion, and share it with someone who may need hope and guidance. Connect with Andrea Dindinger:Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist & Relationship Coach Andrea Dindinger is a San Francisco-based Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with more than 20 years’ experience helping people create meaningful, fulfilling intimate relationships. https://www.andreadindinger.com/  https://enroll.andreadindinger.com/relationship-reboot-courseResources:The Therapy HubAndrea Dindinger’s websiteBook: After the Affair by Janis A. SpringEsther Perels: The State of Affairs and Mating in CaptivityEmily Nagoski's Come as You Are and Come TogetherConnected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

When suicide is mentioned, the room often goes quiet. The heaviness of the topic shows how much fear and stigma surround it, but also how important it is to talk about.In this solo episode of This Complex Life, I explore the silence around suicide, why the subject feels so confronting, and the impact it has not only on families and communities but also on practitioners who sit with these stories.You’ll hear about:• Why suicide is such a difficult conversation to have• The ripple effect on families, friends, partners, children and communities• The complicated grief that follows suicide and how it is carried• Myths and misconceptions that keep people from asking directly• The importance of clear, direct language when you are worried about someone• The impact of suicide work on practitioners and the need for support• Why connection and follow-up matter more than perfect wordsEpisode discussedhttps://marievakakis.com.au/when-a-client-dies-by-suicide-reflections-for-mental-health-professionals/If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out for support. Lifeline 13 11 14, Suicide Callback Service 1300 659 467, Beyond Blue 1300 224 636, Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800.Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Therapy is often described as a safe and healing space, but that’s not always the reality. In this episode of This Complex Life, I sit down with Carrie Wiita, adjunct professor, consultant, and creator of Interpersonal Branding, to explore what bad therapy can teach us about being better therapists and more empowered clients.We talked about what happens when therapy misses the mark, why repair skills are crucial, and how both therapists and clients can work together to build a safe, supportive relationship.Whether you’re a therapist wanting to grow your skills or someone navigating therapy, this conversation highlights why honesty, transparency, and fit are at the heart of meaningful therapeutic work.We explore:• How defensiveness can damage the client–therapist relationship• Why rupture and repair is one of the most important therapeutic skills• The role of client expectations in therapy outcomes• How deliberate practice builds confidence and skill• Why talking about therapy’s side effects matters• How marketing and branding can help clients find the right fit• Practical advice for clients to ask the right questions• Why mistakes in therapy are inevitable but repair is possibleResources:• Santio Counselling Centre• Inside Social Work Podcast• Get Ready for Therapy GuideConnected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Lessons learned from Very Bad Therapy. The Very Bad Therapy podcast has changed the way I think about therapy and the stories we do and do not tell. This episode is a replay from Inside Social Work with hosts Ben and Carrie.I loved this podcast and I learned so much from listening to it. It speaks to both therapists and non therapists, and it fits perfectly with the theme of This Complex Life. Therapy is difficult, messy, and complicated. I had the absolute pleasure of interviewing the hosts of the Very Bad Therapy Podcast, Ben and Carrie. We explore what therapists get wrong, how bad therapy can look different for every client, and why people so often blame themselves when therapy does not help. Ben and Carrie share what they have learned from hundreds of client stories and how those stories have changed the way they practise. We also talk about the side effects of therapy, what to do with feelings of defensiveness or imposter syndrome, the importance of asking about expectations in the first session, and how to repair when ruptures happen.Key Takeaways• Bad therapy cannot be reduced to a checklist. It depends on the individual client experience• Many clients internalise bad therapy and believe they are at fault• Therapy can have side effects and sometimes people feel worse afterwards• Mistakes will happen. Repair and humility matter more than perfection• Asking about expectations is just as important as setting goals• Therapists will feel defensive. The work is to notice it and respond with openness• Deliberate practice builds skills by focusing on one area at a time• Administrative details like fees, scheduling, and emails are part of the relationship and need careResourcesVery Bad Therapy podcast with Ben Feinman and Carrie WiitaModern Therapist Survival Guide with Kurt and KatieSentio Counselling Centre in CaliforniaLearn Psychotherapy podcast with Ben and CarrieInside Social Work with Marie VakakisIf this episode resonated with you please follow and review the show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Sharing the episode helps more people join these honest conversations about mental health and relationships.Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Have you ever had a fight with your partner that started over something small but somehow turned into a huge blow up? It’s rarely about the dishes, the bills, or who walked the dog. The way we argue matters more than the content of the fight.In this solo episode, I talk about the four relationship habits that John and Julie Gottman call the “Four Horsemen”  patterns of conflict that predict relationship distress and even separation. More importantly, I share the antidotes: what to do instead.We’ll explore:Why conflict isn’t a bad sign and it’s how you handle it that mattersThe three main conflict styles couples useThe four habits that harm relationships: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewallingPractical antidotes for each of these habitsWhy repair and accountability are more powerful than getting it right every timeWhether you’re in a long-term relationship or just want to understand communication better, this episode will help you notice patterns and make small but meaningful shifts.Resources:The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work – John and Julie GottmanFight Right – Julie Schwartz Gottman and John GottmanListen now and start shifting the way you think about conflict.Connected Teens https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/Submit a question to the Podcasthttps://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6